Therapy Works – Details, episodes & analysis

In this special episode of Therapy Works, we're joined by Dr. Sheila Redfern, a clinical psychologist with 30 years of experience working with young people and their families. Sheila discusses the challenges and intricacies of parenting adolescents, particularly focusing on understanding behaviors through the lens of mentalization. Sheila's new book, 'How Do You Hug a Cactus?' provides practical and insightful guidance on maintaining close relationships with teenagers. Explore how mentalizing can transform parent-teen relationships, the importance of self-reflection for parents, and how to navigate the complexities of a child's inner world. Show Notes: If you found this topic interesting, you’ll love Sheila’s book, “How Do You Huge a Cactus” If you’d like to get in contact with Sheila, you can find out more on her website - https://redfernpsychology.org On the topic of parenting, I’ve been writing some articles about parenting adult children over on my Substack. If this subject interests you, I think you might be interested in these as well - https://juliasamuel.substack.com/p/parenting-adult-children If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this week's episode of the Therapy Works podcast, we sit down with Mimi Kwa, an Australian presenter, broadcaster, and author of 'House of Kwa'. Mimi opens up about her journey through familial challenges, including being sued by her own father in the Supreme Court, dealing with her mother's undiagnosed schizophrenia, and her path to mindfulness. We explore the impact of intergenerational trauma, the process of forgiveness, and her experiences across three different homes. Mimi's story is a testament to resilience and the power of inner healing. Don't miss this profound conversation, rich with insights on culture, family dynamics, and personal growth. Show Notes: You can find Mimi's book, "House of Kwa" here - https://amzn.eu/d/cRyOK3h And you can learn more about her on her website - https://www.mimitv.com.au/ Also, in the Mother/Daughter section, Emily mentions the Forgiveness Project. Check it out here - https://www.theforgivenessproject.com If you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join us for today's episode where we discuss life after chronic illness recovery. We discuss the emotional and psychological transitions involved, especially in terms of trust in this new change. We'll also discuss practices on how to feel safe in this new stage of life, and how to embody the change. Let us know what you think! If you have dealt with long term illness, and were able to get to a place of recovery, what was that transition like for you? Have you been able to connect with a sense of safety? What has changed for you, in terms of how you process the world and your experience of it? Show Notes: I mentioned Deb Dana’s Glimmers. I write more about them in this week’s newsletter, and the five steps to a Glimmer Practice, so you can really saturate in them more. Check it out here - https://juliasamuel.substack.com/p/developing-your-glimmer-practice Otherwise, if you’d like to connect, I post regularly on Instagram, with more thoughts and some Monday Top Tips - http://instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ And for more info, check out my website - https://juliasamuel.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Susannah Constantine is a former TV fashion guru (one half of the eponymous What Not To Wear duo), TV presenter and author. This conversation is full of therapeutic light bulb moments where Susannah begins to see something familiar in a new way. As you also might expect like anything with Susannah, it’s also full of laughter, wisdom and humanity.  Topics we discuss include: What we inherit from our parents. The difficulty of ‘putting on a show’ and how it blocks you from truly knowing yourself. How fear can hide behind a bravado and that sometimes the fear needs to be anaesthetised because it isn’t faced.  The journey to recovery from alcoholism. The harm that lies do to us personally and how they start to create disconnection with others.  The challenge of talking honestly to our children, wanting to both protect them from ‘our own stuff’ and also protect ourselves from their judgement – but it only builds up the walls between us.  Important links: Susannah’s new book: https://amzn.eu/d/6TVR51Y  Website: https://susannahconstantine.co.uk/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susannahconstantine/?hl=en  Support links:  Alcoholics Anonymous: https://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/  Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Drowsy for sponsoring this episode. If you're in need of the best night's sleep ever, then head to www.drowsysleepco.com and use the code JULIA for a very generous 25% off. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Andrew G. Marshall is a well known marital therapist and I sat down with him to discuss the grief he felt following his father’s death. His understandings are rooted in his decades as a therapist and have a particular clarity I think many of you will find helpful. In this episode, we discuss: How the death of a parent in old age is still a big psychological event and brings up many related losses which are often unrecognised.  The power of the unconscious, how we can limit who we are and how we are in the world when we only focus on our conscious lives.  For those with parents who are still alive, this episode is a timely reminder to have those important conversations before they die - don’t pretend they are immortal.  Be patient with friends and family - allow time, space, commit, endure and try again if they are resistant.  The power that rituals hold and how they can help us to move through the pain. Finally how, despite our fear, when we walk towards our pain that is when we can heal. It takes courage, but fear is exhausting and pervasive and this is a route to releasing yourself from it.  I won’t spoil the drama in this episode but suffice to say there are some big surprises - to do with wolves, rituals and tattoos…!  Support links: Grief Works app: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Grief Works book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works Feel The Fear and Do it Anyway book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Feel-Fear-Anyway-Indecision-Confidence/dp/0091907071 Find Andrew G. Marshall: Website: https://andrewgmarshall.com/ Podcast: https://andrewgmarshall.com/podcasts/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

*Trigger warning - includes references to racial abuse that some listeners might find distressing* This is a fast moving energetic conversation which will at times stop you in your tracks. Trisha Goddard is an extraordinarily successful actress and television presenter. In this deep and emotionally revealing interview, Trisha takes us on a ride with courage and honesty. You will discover how she overcame enormous adversity and how she has finally found love and happiness at the age of 65 years old.  There is so much you will relate to. We discuss: How an intelligent woman who has tremendous insight and instinct professionally can be blind to red flags in her personal relationships due to early attachment issues.  The racist abuse she experienced, which is both internalised and normalised in much of her life.  How the political and social movement, Black Lives Matter, transformed Trisha’s own understanding of racism. How formative her schooling was. Education, reading books, and a couple of excellent teachers was her salvation.  The emotional cost of the breakdown of her 20 year marriage. How her relationship with her two daughters after years of complexity evolved to be one of healing and closeness. They discovered the power of honesty, that the truth, as hard as it is, is curative.  And finally the heart-warming story of how she found love and her list of 20 questions she asked him before she agreed to date him. What would your 20 questions be? Important links:  Ten critical questions before embarking on a relationship: https://www.exeter.ac.uk/news/research/title_672700_en.html Therapist Uncensored Podcast referred to by Sophie in episode; https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/therapist-uncensored-podcast/id1146941306?i=1000593377798  Explanation of Dialectical behaviour therapy: https://www.verywellmind.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy-1067402  Black Lives Matter UK: https://blacklivesmatter.uk/ Find Trisha: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/therealtrishagoddard/?hl=en Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is an episode you need to listen to if you want to understand the experience of suffering mental illness. Yvette, as one of our unheard voices describes with stigma blowing clarity what it is like to live with mental illness. She suffers from bipolar disorder, depression and binge eating.  The first thing you will realise is that suffering from a mental illness is very different from having difficult feelings. It is a serious, life changing and often misunderstood condition that can be managed but takes a huge effort to do so.  In this conversation, we touch on:  The mood swings of bipolar disorder, how seriously unwell it can lead someone to be and the scary nature of a manic episode. The way bipolar and binge eating influence each other. Yvette goes into detail about eating all her strong feelings - and how she expresses her anger.  On how depression ‘tells you lies’. If you have suffered depression, or are close to someone with depression you will find Yvette’s description of depression illuminating.  How being a young person entering a mental health unit can be thought of as shameful but how Yvette felt there was a fellowship and it was an important space outside of home that was curative.  How ’suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem’. This is truly something to hold onto and we should use to influence ourselves and the other. Her story gives us all hope when life gets terrifyingly dark. Finally how choirs should be an NHS prescription and how curative singing can be to lift spirits and connect with others. Yvette’s wisdom from facing such huge challenges comes from a deep knowing. She acknowledges that you don’t have to fix everything at once but just focus on one day at time. If you are suffering from similar feelings, just remember feelings are not permanent and you won’t feel like this forever.  Support links: BEAT: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ MIND: https://www.mind.org.uk/ Rethink Mental Illness: https://www.rethink.org/ Bipolar UK: https://www.bipolaruk.org/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. A big thank you to Youth & Earth for sponsoring this episode. Head to www.youthandearth.com now and take advantage of a very generous 25% off when using the code JULIA25 on your first order.  Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There is so much to tell you about this fantastic conversation with Bryony Gordon. You will love it. I was gripped by her. She is a headlining journalist, with a column and features with notable public figures. She has written many brilliant books charting her life and in the process showing us what it is to be diagnosed with OCD, depression and addiction.  We discussed a feast of topics including: The pressure of expectations. We are expected to live happily ever after, and that in itself can set us up for failure. We looked at an alternative view of expectations during our conversation.  The irony that successful people are often troubled, and how the push to succeed often means shrinking one’s true self. (I warned you we got deep!) We discussed how our childhood’s shape us, but that is not the end of the story, and nor is blaming. With the right tools and attitude we really can change our response to our childhood and vitally the way we parent.  How hard it is to feel like you belong, how vital it is and how we can find our tribe in unexpected places.  The madness of trying to have control, and the peace that surrender brings in so many aspects of life, addiction being one. The idea of perseverance is powerful. You fall, you get up you go again. It is in effect the definition of resilience, and acknowledges that piece we often forget, we all fall but it's the getting up and going again that’s difficult and vital.  And finally how baffling life is but we can find strength in knowing ourselves, and having the courage to turn to ourselves with kindness.  There are so many layers to this conversation and I’m sure everyone will take away something valuable from this conversation. I’d love to hear your thoughts so please message me on instagram @juliasamuel or email [email protected].  Support links: OCD Action: https://ocdaction.org.uk/ Mental Health Mates: https://www.mentalhealthmates.co.uk/ Heads Together: https://www.headstogether.org.uk/ Beat: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/ Find Bryony: Column: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/authors/b/bp-bt/bryony-gordon/ Books: https://www.waterstones.com/author/bryony-gordon/55496 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bryonygordon/?hl=en Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this profoundly moving episode, Suzanne opens up about all the challenges that surrounded her mother’s death during Covid-19. Covid was an incredibly difficult time for all of us but the greatest challenge had to be the heightened complexity of a Covid death. Many of you will resonate with Suzanne’s moving story and the psychological difficulties the Covid restrictions imposed on all of us. In this episode, we discuss:  The heightened complexity of a Covid death and the mental toll caused by the restrictions. How we grieve for the future as well as the past. When anger contaminates all your feelings, you should turn to a 4 step tool to help you release it. Why it’s never too late to have rituals when someone has died - nor is it ever too late to mourn. Grief is held in the body and often feels like fear.  While we internally acknowledge that we are mortal, we never acknowledge that we will all be bereaved at some point in our lives. Support links:  Cruse Bereavement Support: https://www.cruse.org.uk/ Grief Works App: https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/grief-works-self-care-love/id1558867513 Grief Works Book: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/books/grief-works Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee is a medical doctor who has translated his learnings from decades of experience as a GP into 5 best-selling books and his No 1 Health podcast Live Better Live More. I am a huge fan of Rangan and was lucky enough to be a guest on his podcast and can now call him a much-respected friend.  This wonderful conversation takes us into the personal process of Rangan the man whose biggest achievement is his unique journey which has now led him to pursue a more joyful and vibrant life.  You will find many ideas and concepts in this conversation that will expand your awareness of how you engage with your life, and with it, the possibility of positive change. In this conversation, we discussed:  The burden and intensity of being a carer in the family How authenticity and the intention with which we respond to events – by duty or genuine choice - has a huge impact on our emotional cost.  How a desire to be the best can influence us and how being the child of immigrants who experienced racism informs our response and the need to perform.  The radical concept of conflict as an opportunity to grow; to explore what is really going on and learn more about oneself. The foundation of which is trusting that we are innately enough.  What triggers us as humans and how we react in the moment. Why do we take offence or choose not to take offence? Support links: Carers UK: https://www.carersuk.org/ MIND UK: https://www.mind.org.uk/ Find more information on Dr Rangan Chatterjee: Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Podcast: https://drchatterjee.com/blog/category/podcast/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Find Julia: Website: https://juliasamuel.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliasamuelmbe/ This episode is sponsored by by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/therapy works and get on your way to being your best self. Produced by Georgie Rutherford Edited by Nick Kingswell Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices