By 43, Dr. Mindy Pelz was gaining weight, not sleeping, and depressed for the first time in her life. Nothing dramatic had happened. Her hormones however, were shifting.
In this conversation, Shay talks with Dr. Mindy Pelz, author of Age Like a Girl, about what's actually happening in a woman's brain during perimenopause and why it's closer to a rewiring than a decline. They get into the grandmother hypothesis, the evolutionary theory behind why women were built for this exact transition, why so many marriages hit a wall in a woman's 40s, and where hormone replacement therapy fits into a process that's as much spiritual as it is physical.
If you've felt a shift in yourself you couldn't quite explain, and wondered whether something is wrong with you, this conversation offers a different read on what's actually going on.
Ideas Covered in This Episode
- Why progesterone, the calming hormone, starts dropping as early as your late 30s
- The grandmother hypothesis: the evolutionary case for why menopause rewires the brain toward leadership
- What depression, anxiety, and rage are actually trying to tell you during this transition
- Why the corpus callosum, the part of the brain estrogen helps activate, explains so much about why relationships matter so much to women
- What changes in motherhood when perimenopause and early parenting overlap
- Why 70% of divorces after 40 are initiated by women, according to Julie Gottman's research
- Marriage 1.0, 2.0, 3.0: Dr. Mindy's framework for giving a long marriage room to change
- The two camps in the hormone replacement therapy debate, and where Dr. Mindy actually lands
- The caterpillar and the chrysalis: the biological metaphor Dr. Mindy uses for this transformation
- Dr. Mindy's own corrective experience: being told at 12 that girls don't surf, and going back for it decades later
Links
Dr. Mindy Pelz's Book, Age Like a Girl: https://www.discover.hayhouse.com/agelikeagirl/
Dr. Mindy Pelz's Website and Podcast: https://www.drmindypelz.com/
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