Love in a F*cked Up World – Details, episodes & analysis

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Jessica Lanyadoo joins Dean for the first AMA episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. Jessica and Dean answer listener questions about how to navigate our relationships with friends in the context of these terrifying times, how to deal with differing awareness and practices around COVID in our community spaces, and how to negotiate and reckon with differences in class and access to resources in organizing. We got so many great questions from listeners that we’ll be releasing this conversation in two parts.

Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes of the show and to submit your questions for future AMA episodes.

Jessica Lanyadoo is host of Ghost of a Podcast, out twice weekly and available everywhere podcasts are heard. Find out more about her work at lovelanyadoo.com and join her on Patreon at patreon.com/jessicalanyadoo

RESOURCES FOR THIS EPISODE: 

Info about Long COVID:

• https://longcovidjustice.org/resources/learn-about-long-covid/
• https://longcovidjustice.org/trans/

Info about mask bloc and clean air club organizing and some examples:

• https://maskbloc.org/about/
• https://cleanairclub.org/about
• https://www.instagram.com/seattlecleanair/?hl=en
• https://www.instagram.com/masksforlondon/?hl=en
• https://www.instagram.com/breathe.better.berlin/
• https://www.instagram.com/glasgowmaskbloc/?hl=en

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Kelly Hayes joins Dean Spade to talk about the relational work of movement building. In a critical moment in Chicago, Kelly and Dean talk about how to establish the trust needed to take the kinds of risks necessary to fight ICE and fascist invasion. They also talk about AI and journalism, and Kelly tells Dean how when confronting fascism, "The truth is a front of struggle." 

Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes in the podcast, early access, and to submit questions for upcoming Ask Me Anything episodes.

Learn more about Kelly Hayes on her website, and check out her work and key resources mentioned in the show:

Movement Memos podcast
Read This When Things Fall Apart
Let This Radicalize You
Organizing My Thoughts newsletter
Truthout
In It Together Toolkit

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Morgan Bassichis joins Dean Spade to talk about how to deal with hard feelings–like jealousy, possessiveness, and control–when they inevitably come up. Morgan and Dean talk about how it doesn't help to shame ourselves for having feelings that don't align with our principles, and how we can use humor and curiosity to find playful ways to engage these emotions and get the emotional satisfaction we desire.

Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast

Don’t miss Morgan's new show, Can I Be Frank? at Soho Playhouse starting July 24! Tickets are available at https://www.sohoplayhouse.com/see-a-show/morgan-bassichis-can-i-be-frank

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adrienne maree brown joins Dean Spade for the first episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. adrienne and Dean talk about collectivity, working in fractals to overcome feelings of overwhelm, pleasure, and letting go of ownership and possessiveness to build abundant support systems.

Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast

Books, podcasts, and more from adrienne maree brown: 

• https://adriennemareebrown.net/ 
• @adriennemareebrown 

adrienne maree brown's books:

• Loving Corrections (AK Press, 2024)
• Holding Change: The Way of Emergent Strategy Facilitation and Mediation (AK Press, 2021)
• We Will Not Cancel Us And Other Dreams of Transformative Justice (AK Press, 2020)
• Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good (AK Press, 2019)
• Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds (AK Press, 2017)
• Octavia's Brood: Science Fiction Stories from Social Justice Movements (AK Press, 2015) 
• Grievers (AK Press, 2021)
• Maroons (AK Press, 2023)
• Ancestors (AK Press, 2025)

adrienne maree brown's podcasts:

• How to Survive the End of the World (with Autumn Brown)
• Octavia's Parables (with Toshi Reagon) 

Also mentioned in this episode: 

• WALL-E (film, 2008)
• Fumbling Towards Repair: A Workbook for Community Accountability Facilitators by Mariame Kaba & Shira Hassan (AK Press, 2019)
• Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy (Knopf, 1976)
• SURJ: A home for white people working for justice
• Catalyst Project: Anti-Racism for Collective Liberation
• Movement Memos podcast by Kelly Hayes
• Daniel Hunter (educator and activist) 

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For over 25 years, Dean Spade has been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. His new podcast, Love In A F*cked Up World, offers concrete tools and conversations about how we can build and sustain strong relationships, because our connections to each other are the building blocks of all of our movements. 

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Weyam Ghadbian joins Dean Spade to talk about Dean's tool 7 Steps for Deescalating a Crush, how Weyam encouraged Dean to discuss the transformative power of love, when attachment theory is useful, and when it's ok to give self help books as gifts.

Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes in the podcast, tickets to online events, and to submit questions for upcoming Ask Me Anything episodes.

Check out Turning Towards Each Other: A Conflict Workbook by Weyam Ghadbian and Jovida Ross.

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Dean is excited to share an episode of one of his favorite podcasts, How to Survive the End of the World, hosted by Autumn Brown and adrienne maree brown.

In this episode, "Be My Senpai" the sisters answer a listener question about how to interface with critical feedback and even trolling. They dive into the the importance of belonging and the ways they establish safety and boundaries in their lives, how self-protection is crucial in maintaining mental health, and how competing political priorities can lead to feelings of abandonment but don't need to!

Listen to more episodes of How to Survive the End of the World, support the show on Patreon, and visit them on Instagram.

You can listen to Dean's interview with adrienne maree brown on episode 1 of Love in a F*cked Up World, and check out Autumn and adrienne's conversation with Dean on this episode of How to Survive the End of the World.

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How can you tell when it's time to leave a relationship with a person, project, job, or group? How can you tell if you have a tendency to walk away too fast or to stay too long in relationships? Morgan Bassichis is back to go deep into these questions with Dean, including talking about how to know when to keep trying to convince people of your perspective and when to move on. 

Dean and Morgan recorded this episode together (in the same room!) and you can watch the video on YouTube.

Have a question for Dean? Send it in for our upcoming Ask Me Anything episode with Jessica Lanyadoo. You can reach us via Patreon or email at LOVEINAF0CKEDUPWORLD (at) gmail (the U in f*cked is a zero).

Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes in the podcast, tickets to online events, and to submit questions for upcoming Ask Me Anything episodes.

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Prentis Hemphill joins Dean Spade in this episode to talk about love, organizing, and healing. They talk about projection, practice, and their approaches to writing books in the self help genre.

Check out Prentis's book, What it Takes to Heal, and podcast, Becoming the People.

This episode is available in video format on YouTube. 

Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes in the podcast, tickets to online events, and to submit questions for upcoming Ask Me Anything episodes.

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Is sexting sex? And is sexting cheating if someone is monogamous? How can we be clear in our communication and boundaries? Can we feel ok giving a maybe or accepting a no? 

Morgan Bassichis is back with Dean to talk through frequently asked questions about navigating long distance and electronic communication in relationships.

Do you have a question for Dean? Here are upcoming opportunities to ask:

1. Send us your question for an upcoming AMA episode featuring Dean and Jessica Lanyadoo. You can submit questions on Patreon or email us at loveinaf0ckedupworld (at) gmail.com.
2. Join us September 21 at 2pm ET for a book club event online. Get your tix on Patreon.

Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast

And don’t miss Morgan's new show, Can I Be Frank? at Soho Playhouse through September 13! Tickets are available at https://www.sohoplayhouse.com/see-a-show/morgan-bassichis-can-i-be-frank