Gay Men Going Deeper – Details, episodes & analysis

What does it actually mean to identify as gay?

For many of us, claiming the word “gay” was liberating. It gave us language, belonging, community, and pride. It helped us make sense of our experiences and find people who understood us. But is there a point where identification turns into over-identification?

In this episode, we unpack some big questions:

• What is identity, really?
• In what ways is identifying as gay empowering?
• How does it foster belonging and inclusion?
• When does it start to create division, hierarchy, or limitation?
• Is “gay” a culture — and if so, what does that even mean?
• Where’s the line between healthy pride and rigid attachment?

We explore the benefits and the drawbacks of tying ourselves closely to any identity — and how over-identifying can sometimes shrink us rather than expand us.

This conversation isn’t about minimizing being gay. It’s about integrating it. About moving from performance to embodiment. From label to lived experience.

Today's Hosts:

• Matt Landsiedel
• Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

• (00:00:00) - Gay Men Going Deep: Over Identifying With Being Gay
• (00:00:50) - Being gay in the quest for enlightenment
• (00:03:29) - Michael Buble On Over Identifying With Being Gay
• (00:08:55) - On Loss of Identity
• (00:13:26) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: The Gay Community
• (00:18:03) - Coming Out Has Helped People
• (00:21:17) - How Over Identifying Can Be a Hindrance
• (00:23:05) - Is Pride Helpful or a hindrance for Gay Men?

In a world of swipes, situationships, and high-intensity connections, romance can start to feel obsolete — replaced by sexual energy, emotional guardedness, or the safety of detachment.

And yet many of us still long for thoughtfulness, depth, being chosen and choosing in return.

In this episode, we explore why that part of us often gets buried under performance, fear of rejection, and modern dating norms — and what it actually takes to lead with romance instead of intensity.

We talk about:

• What romance really looks and feels like in dating 
• Why intensity is so often mistaken for intimacy
• What it means to actively bring romance into your dating life
• How love languages and attachment styles shape our romantic expression
• And what truly sweeps us off our feet

This conversation is both a reality check and an ode to the intentional, courageous, thoughtful part of ourselves that still believes in romance.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

• (00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: The Romantic Gay Man
• (00:00:53) - How To Bring Romance Into Your Dating & Relationships
• (00:01:56) - How To Be Romantic In Gay Culture
• (00:03:47) - Michael on Romance in Gay Culture
• (00:07:34) - Gay Men Talk About Romance
• (00:12:44) - "I Don't Think Romance Is Romantic"
• (00:18:00) - How To Start A Romance: Setting the Tone
• (00:20:25) - The Gay Men's Brotherhood
• (00:21:09) - How Do You Bring Romance Into Dating?
• (00:25:48) - How Do I Bring Romance Into Dating?
• (00:29:03) - What's The Most Romantic Thing You've Ever Done For Someone?
• (00:33:40) - How To Get Out Of Your Attractor's Grip
• (00:34:51) - The Most Romantic Thing Someone's Done For Me
• (00:36:47) - What Do You Need To Know To Be Swept Off Your Feet
• (00:39:04) - Toronto Guy Problems
• (00:43:11) - Saved Off My Feet
• (00:47:10) - "If I'm a 10, I'll Keep Dating"
• (00:50:05) - Don't Be Afraid To Be Romantic With Your Gay Guy Friends

In this episode, Michael and Matt get personal about what we love about being single, how we knew we were ready to start dating again, and what we want to experience differently this time around. We talk about flirting on apps, dating in 2026, and all the messy, exciting parts of putting yourself back out there when you’re ready to mingle. 

Some of the topics we cover in this episode are: • Getting back into the dating world • When your nervous system tries to hijack your dating life • Red flags and green flags • What we’re actually looking for in a man now (and how that has changed) 

It’s cheeky, honest, and surprisingly insightful. If you’re single (or single-ish), you’ll feel right at home.

Today's Hosts:

• Matt Landsiedel
• Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

• (00:00:05) - Gamin Going Deeper: Being Single & Ready To Mingle
• (00:01:46) - What Is Single and Ready To Mingle?
• (00:02:27) - What Do You Love About Being Single?
• (00:05:02) - Mixed Messages on Dating and Singling
• (00:06:02) - What's Your Favorite Stage Of A Relationship? The Honeymoon Phase
• (00:10:22) - Matt on Conflicts In His Relationships
• (00:12:06) - Single People Talk About The Best Things About Being Single
• (00:16:13) - What I Need In A Good Relationship
• (00:17:50) - What's The Non-Negotiable Item In A Relationship?
• (00:20:43) - Gay Men's Brotherhood
• (00:21:22) - When Are You Ready to Mingle?
• (00:24:31) - Gay Men on Matching Apps
• (00:28:26) - "Does It Mean I Attract a Polyamorous Partner?"
• (00:31:49) - Are You Dating Gay People?
• (00:33:28) - Gaiman's Going Deep: Relationships and Dating
• (00:34:25) - What Would You Like To Experience The This Time Around?
• (00:39:17) - What You Need To Know About Chasing
• (00:43:10) - What I Want In A Relationship
• (00:43:52) - Matt on His Sexual Life
• (00:46:14) - I Should've Knew That My Best Friend Had Sex With Her
• (00:49:28) - "That's Off-limits" For Gay People
• (00:49:47) - Gay Men's Brotherhood: Connection Circle

In this episode, we explore the profound power of self-compassion on our emotional well-being. As we share our own experiences and favorite lessons on this topic, you will discover what self-compassion truly means and practical ways to integrate it into your daily life.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode:

• What does self-compassion entail exactly?
• The different types of self-compassion
• Why it can be hard to practice at times
• The significance of embodiment 
• The role of your inner-dialogue 
• Re-writing critical narratives
• Healing shame 
• The impact on your self-confidence 
• Ways to practice self-compassion  

If you are looking for practical ways to process emotional pain, while acknowledging and overcoming barriers that hinder self-love and acceptance, this episode is for you.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with Intuitive Energy Healer, Scott Clover about the subconscious mind and healing. Scott shares his wisdom on how to evoke the childhood imagination for healing past victimhood so we can move forward into self-esteem. Scott explains how to speak to the body for healing and also shares tips and a few experiential exercises to use to prepare the subconscious mind for transformation. Come learn how to practice self-acceptance and forgiveness for yourself through self-compassion and subconscious healing techniques through an intuitive lens.

The concepts and questions we explore in this episode are:

• What is the subconscious mind?
• Childhood trauma and the impact on the subconscious mind
• The stories we tell ourselves as adults can block healing the inner child
• Explore empathy, intuition, and hypervigilance in relationship to childhood trauma
• How do we evoke the childhood imagination and why this help us heal?
• Somatic Semantics®  - How do we speak to our bodies and what is our body is trying to tell us?
• How can we start to understand the language of the body and the subconscious mind, and how it relates to trauma release so we can heal from our past?

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Come to our monthly Connection Circles
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Sharing Circles
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok | YouTube
• Learn more at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, we are exploring the multifaceted aspects of caring for your body from the inside out. 

In gay culture, it’s easy to overemphasize aesthetics when it comes to any discussion of our bodies. But our bodies are more than just their external appearances. 

Today we are flipping the script and offering a refreshing perspective on self-care practices. Some of the topics we’ll be covering today are:

• Unconventional ways to care for your body
• Self-care habits that we swear by 
• Motivations for maintaining physical fitness
• How aging can change your relationship with your body 
• Practical tips that promote holistic well-being
• Fostering a deeper connection with your body
• Body positivity 

By adding in our own personal anecdotes, we hope to inspire you to cultivate a more loving and compassionate relationship with your body.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Come to our monthly Connection Circles
• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Michael and Pepper of The Gay Good are exploring the unique stressors that contribute to anxiety in the lives of gay men. 

They’re sharing personal experiences, coaching tools, coping mechanisms, and insights on how we can support each other through the challenges of anxiety. 

Some of the topics we cover in today’s episode:

• The difference between anxiety and anxiety disorder 
• The role of minority stress 
• Feeling pressure to meet unrealistic expectations 
• Social media and dating apps 
• The environmental factors that contribute to anxiety
• How to recognize anxiety in your mind and body
• Mindfulness techniques that help provide relief 
• Useful and not-so-useful coping mechanisms 
• Processes for responding to your anxious gay mind

Tune in for this candid conversation filled with insights and strategies for navigating anxiety as a gay man.

Today’s Guest: Pepper 

• Instagram

Resources:

• Anxiety Disorder (National Institute of Mental Health)
• Better Help (Online Therapy)
• Anxiety, Fear, and Panic (National Health Service)

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz...

Join us as we have a candid and crucial conversation about body shaming within the gay community. We’re sharing personal experiences while shedding light on the layers of societal expectations and standards that often impact self-perception.

We’ll look at the historical context of body image for gay men and its evolution over the years. From the quest for the "ideal" physique to the influence of media and apps, we’re sharing personal stories and providing insightful perspectives on the numerous factors that contribute to body image struggles among gay men. Some of the topics we’re exploring in this episode:

• How have you been impacted by body shame?
• Media literacy
• Depictions of masculinity in social media and p0rnography
• What contributes to body shaming in society/gay community?
• What can we do to overcome body shaming?

As always we’ll also be sharing ideas for solutions as we discuss the role of media representation, the importance of supportive communities, and the need for collective action to challenge harmful stereotypes.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with leadership and culture consultant, speaker, coach, and best-selling author Joe Makston about mentoring the next generation of gay men. 

They both share their experiences with leadership/mentorship in their process of coming out. They also unpack how to best become mentors for the next generation so we can end the intense suffering our community endures. It’s through our own healing that we can lead others in their healing; this conversation shines light on how we can best do this as a community.

The questions and concepts discussed in this episode are:

• Explore the community that was created for us by the previous generation
• What has been your experience with leadership in the gay community? (Pros and cons)
• What type of mentorship did you have or wish you had when you were coming out?
• How can we have platonic intimacy when the connection calls for it?
• What are the skills that are required to thrive in the gay community or have healthy relationships with other gay men?
• How can we best mentor the next generation to have a positive gay experience?

Connect with Matt:

• Instagram
• Website

Connect with Joe Makston:

• Email
• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

- viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the <...

Get ready to turn up the heat on this sexy episode of Gay Men Going Deeper as we explore the nuances of what makes you feel sexy from the inside out, and how that authentic allure is perceived by others. From owning your personal style to embracing your quirks, we're revealing the secrets to unlocking your inner sexiness.

Some of the topics we’ll be covering:

• How to increase your capacity to feel sexy?
• What makes you feel sexy?
• How does external validation fit into the mix?
• How do you acknowledge your sexiness without being vain or arrogant?
• What tips do we have for those who want to feel more sexy?

This is not just about the mirror selfie and Instagram likes – we'll delve into the psychology behind feeling sexy and how it transcends physical appearance. Learn tips and tricks for boosting your self-esteem and exuding that magnetic energy that draws others in.

Join us as we celebrate our inner sexiness and inspire you to shine confidently in your own skin.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes

- CONNECT WITH US -

• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
• Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community
• Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls
• Follow us on Instagram | TikTok
• Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com

- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.