Sex and Psychology Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Sexual conflict is inevitable in long-term relationships. It’s virtually impossible for partners to always be erotically in synch with one another at all times over the course of many years together. That’s why everyone fights about sex from time to time. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the most common sexual conflicts that arise in long-term relationships, as well as practical tips on how to solve them.

My guest is Dr. Elisabeth Gordon. She is a board-certified psychiatrist who specializes in sexual health. She maintains a New York City based private practice and is also an educator, speaker, researcher, and writer dedicated to advancing sexual health. She has taught at multiple academic institutions around the world, and is a frequent commentator on sexual health topics in the popular media.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

• What’s the most common sex fight?
• What should you do when one partner wants more sex than the other?
• How do you tell your partner that you want them to initiate sex more often?
• What are some ways to tell your partner that the sex you’re having isn’t meeting your needs?
• How do you deal with a selfish lover?
• What should you do when masturbation and/or porn use become conflict areas in a relationship?

You can check out Elisabeth’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Today, more people identify as LGBTQ+ than ever before. However, this is largely due to a big increase in the number of persons identifying as bisexual. So in this episode, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in The Journal of Sex Research that investigates the rise in bisexuality over time. We’ll discuss different ways of defining and measuring bisexuality, why women seem more likely to be bisexual than men, and much more.

My guest is Martin Monto, a Professor of Sociology at University of Portland specializing in the intersection between gender, sexuality, and public health, with an additional focus on society’s impact on the natural environment. Monto has an extensive publication record focusing on social aspects of sexuality and the sex industry, including notable publications on sex buyers, webcam users, “hooking up,” and bisexuality.

Some of the topics we cover in this episode include:

• What are some of the different ways that scientists have defined bisexuality?
• How many people today identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual—and how have these numbers changed over time?
• With the rise in bisexual identification, has there also been a rise in bisexual behavior?
• How do rates of bisexuality differ for older versus younger adults?
• Why might more women identify as bisexual than men?

You can connect with Martin here.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest. Heart photo by Jiroe (Matia Rengel) on Unsplash.

“Life is short, have an affair.” That’s the tagline of Ashley Madison, the infamous online dating service that caters to married people who are looking to commit infidelity. Ever since its launch in 2002, it has been the subject of endless controversy, culminating in a widely reported data breech in 2015. A Netflix documentary series titled Ashley Madison: Sex, Lies, and Scandal recently premiered and it is fascinating! In today’s show we’re going to dive into this series and talk all about infidelity, including why so many people cheat in the first place.

I am joined once again by Ashley Weller (who bears no relation to Ashley Madison). She is a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She also has a podcast called What’s your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the specific topics we explore include:

• How do men’s and women’s reasons for infidelity differ?
• Why are so many people willing to risk everything in order to have an affair?
• What impact did the Ashley Madison hack have on the company and its users?
• Why does Ashley Madison seem more popular than ever despite the hack that destroyed so many people’s lives?

You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out more of her work by visiting her Linktree.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Thank you to our sponsors! 

The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Learn about more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Whenever an older female celebrity dates a younger guy, it tends to make the news. These women, often referred to as “cougars” or “MILFS,” have long had their relationships subject to scrutiny and stigma. However, the narrative around them has shifted, and nowadays, they’re frequently celebrated in the media. Case in point: the recent arrival of the popular reality series MILF Manor, a show in which a group of middle-aged moms date each other’s sons. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into why so many older women are into younger guys, what their relationships are like, and do a little analysis of MILF Manor.

My guest today is Ashley Weller, a Human Sexuality and Health Psychology Professor at Chapman University in Southern California. She hosts a podcast called What’s Your Position that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view.

Some of the topics we explore include:

• How common are age-gap relationships?
• Why might an older heterosexual woman want to date a significantly younger guy?
• Is MILF Manor a sign of progress, or is it feeding stereotypes around women and aging?
• We also explore the dynamics between moms and their sons on the show, the unrealistic beauty standards older women are held to, and why a show that was designed to facilitate sexual and romantic connections struggled to produce matches.

You can find Ashley on Instagram and check out her Linktree to stay connected.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about the city of Berlin, Germany? There’s a good chance that you pictured a kinky nightclub. It’s estimated that as many as 1 in 3 visitors to Berlin goes specifically for these clubs. In today’s show, we’re going to explore how Berlin became a hub for kinky nightlife and discuss what it’s actually like inside two of Berlin’s most famous spots, the KitKat Club and Berghain. We’ll also take a look at how consent works in a sex club and give you some pro-tips on getting into Berlin’s clubs because they’re known as being notoriously difficult to enter.

I am joined once again by Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.”

Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

• What role did the Berlin wall play in leading the city to become a nightlife hotspot?
• What could someone expect to see or experience if they visited KitKat or Berghain?
• What is a dark room, and why are they so common in Berlin and across Europe?
• How does consent work in sex club and group sex environments?
• How do Berlin’s clubs deal with privacy when everyone has a smartphone?

To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2336-lehmiller

Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Earlier this year, I taught a study abroad course on sex and culture in Berlin. As part of that trip, we took a three-hour guided tour on Berlin’s sexual history, and it was fascinating! I wanted to share what we learned with you, so I invited our wonderful tour guide onto the show to give us the highlight reel. In this episode, we’re going to chat about the roots of Berlin’s sexual liberation, which trace back more than a century. We’ll also discuss the history of sex research and therapy in Germany, which is equally fascinating.

My guest is Jeff Mannes, a social scientist, speaker, tour guide, sex educator, and freelance writer living in Berlin. Since 2018, he has been running his critically acclaimed guided tour “Berlin’s History of Sex” in Augmented Reality. This year, he launched additional guided tours on “The Story of Berlin’s Clubs” and “Berlin’s Queer & Trans History.”

Some of the topics we explore include:

• How can Berlin’s modern reputation for sex-positivity be traced back to the Roaring 20s?
• Who was Magnus Hirshfeld, and why is he a pivotal figure in the history of sex?
• How did the Nazis’ rise to power alter the sexual landscape in Germany?
• How did the post-WWII era shift towards sex-positivity in Berlin?
• Are attitudes towards sex in Berlin becoming more conservative today?

To learn more, check out Jeff’s Berlin Guide website for information on all of his tours.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com

Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

We live in an era where the preferred treatment for most health issues, including sexual problems, is increasingly a pill. However, this medicalized approach frequently overlooks the root cause. At their core, sex problems often stem from feelings of shame or guilt, inadequate sex ed, and mistaken ideas about what’s “normal” with regard to sex and the human body. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss the problem with overmedicalizing sex problems, as well as the tricky business of defining what constitutes a sexual “disorder” in the first place.

I am joined once again by Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults.

Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• What do we mean when we say the “medicalization of sex?”
• How can searching for a biomedical cure to all sexual difficulties be problematic?
• How has the conceptualization of sexual disorders changed over time?
• Is it even possible to create objective definitions of sexual disorders?
• How common are sexual difficulties, really?

To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2335-lehmiller

Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.

Condoms are one of the best tools we have available for protecting our sexual health. However, modern condoms leave something to be desired. It is so easy to point to problems with condoms that make them difficult to use, that increase the odds of making mistakes, and that reduce sexual pleasure. Better education around condoms could reduce some of these problems, but we also need to start building better condoms! So in today’s show, we’re going to talk all about condoms, including why it seems harder than ever to get people to use them and how to best promote correct and consistent usage.

My guest is Dr. Cynthia Graham, a professor of gender studies at Indiana University and a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute. She has been editor-in-chief of the Journal of Sex Research since 2009. Her current research focuses on male condom use, hormonal contraceptives, women’s sexuality, women’s sexual pleasure, sexual problems, and sexual health among older adults.

Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• Why is it harder to get people to use condoms today than it was a few decades ago?
• What are the most common condom mistakes/errors people make?
• How can we make condom use more pleasurable?
• Why does it seem so hard to build better condoms?
• Which interventions are most effective at promoting correct and consistent condom use?

To stay connected, you can find Cynthia on Twitter.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com

Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.

There is undoubtedly a dark side to dick pics, such as when they’re sent without consent or used as a form of harassment. However, when shared consensually, there’s a positive side worth acknowledging. This is the second part in a 2-part series on the psychology of dick pics. In the last episode, we talked all about the dominant (and negative) narratives we hear in the popular media about these photos. So, today, we’re going to talk about the rarely discussed positive side of consensual dick pics, as well as what makes for a good dick pic in the first place (hint: put a little effort into it!).

I am joined once again by Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic.

Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• What does it mean to think about dick pics reparatively?
• How can dick pics be an avenue to intimacy?
• What do women say are the qualities of a good dick pic?
• How can dick pics help men construct a positive sense of self?
• If you’re thinking about sending a dick pic to someone, what do you need to know?

To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 50% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2334-lehmiller

Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

One of the most popular posts I’ve ever written on the Sex and Psychology blog was about why so many men send unsolicited dick pics to women. At the time, there wasn’t much research on the subject, but the data suggested that guys who do this are either clueless or narcissistic (or worse). This has fed a growing (and extreme) online narrative that all dick pics are bad, even when they’re sent consensually. So let’s take a closer look at the dick pic.

I have a two-part series for you about the science of dick picks. In this show, we’re going to focus on the cultural history of the dick pic and the four most common narratives we hear about dick pics in the media. Next time, we’re going to talk about a new way of thinking about dick pics, as well as their positive side when shared consensually.

My guest is Dr. Andrea Waling, a Senior Research Fellow at the Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health, and Society at La Trobe University. Her current research project, Men, Sex and Intimacy, explores how young, heterosexual men in Australia are navigating and negotiating intimacy, sex, sexual health and consent in wake of #MeToo politics. Her latest book is titled Exploring the Cultural Phenomenon of the Dick Pic.

Some of the questions we discuss in this episode include:

• Why write a whole book all about dick pics?
• How do you secure government funding for research when you’re doing the “dirty work” of studying sex?
• How has the cultural history of the penis shaped modern attitudes towards it?
• What are the four themes about why men send dick pics that dominate academic work and public discourse?
• Are dick pics always a form of harassment? Are men who send dick pics narcissists?

To learn more, check out Andrea’s website and stay connected on Twitter and Linkedin. You can also read our review of her most recent book here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Explore the intersection of sex and technology at this year’s Security Sexuality Conference, which will be held October 19th and 20th in Detroit, MI. Securing Sexuality is the premier conference for people passionate about promoting sex positive, science-based, and secure interpersonal relationships. Continuing education credits are available for qualified professionals. Purchase your pass at securingsexuality.com

Are you passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and by Mockup Graphics on Unsplash.