You Are Not Crazy – Details, episodes & analysis

Relationships with an abusive person often end not because of lost love, but due to a loss of control by one partner. This episode dives deep into the subtle tactics that can manipulate and dominate a relationship without you even realizing it.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

One of the most distressing aspects of dealing with an emotionally abusive individual is their persistent disregard for boundaries. Most of us are left feeling powerless. In this podcast, we dive into having boundaries for yourself instead of focusing on changing the abuser's behavior—which often leads to disappointment.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Today, Paul interviews me! Paul Colaianni brings his unique perspective as both a former emotionally abusive person turned healer. He shares that abusers often employ grooming tactics like mirroring their victim’s interests to gain trust before turning the tables to exert control. I recount my personal battle with emotional abuse. I describe how she lost touch with her intuition and began conflating my needs with those imposed by my partner.

Key takeaways from this conversation include:
🔹 Understanding how to differentiate between needs and wants in relationships
🔹 Learning the importance of maintaining individual identity within partnerships
🔹 Recognizing the value in honoring yourself while still caring for others

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

I define parallel parenting as a method of parenting that allows each parent to use a separate approach to when they have the kids. Their parenting does not intersect, as each parent is independent (versus more of a team approach). It’s mostly used when co-parents want little to no contact with each other. Parents rarely attend the same functions, appointments, or child-related events. If they do, they do not sit together and are not expected to communicate. This is contrary to co-parenting which involves more of a team approach. 

When you are in a toxic situation, or a relationship with a narcissist, co-parenting can be a breeding ground for the high-conflict partner to control or manipulate. When you try to co-parent with them, it can leave you feeling exhausted, constantly trying new things to “keep the peace” – but failing. You may feel at a loss because nothing will work as easily as it “should.”

This episode breaks down parallel parenting. I hope it is helpful and sheds light on a very tough topic.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Most people don’t even realize they are getting into a relationship with a Narcissist. They are skillfully manipulative - which allows them to come off as charming and loving. But Narcissistic relationships are always emotionally abusive - which includes put-downs, accusations, criticism, gaslighting and threats. The end goal is always to keep their Narcissistic supply of constant attention and admiration.

I am a completely different person than I was when I was with my ex - and while I do not wish the pain of a Narcissistic relationship on anyone - this podcast covers a few lessons I learned in healing from Narcissistic Abuse.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Is it toxicity? Is it abuse? Are you "too sensitive?" Do you "attract difficult people?" In this episode, I describe three tools I used to identify when I was in an abusive relationship. 

I also discuss how hard the New Year can be for many of us trying to break out of an abusive relationship.

This is the link to the MEAN workbook: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.gumroad.com/l/jkSo

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

The Holiday Season with a Narcissist can be incredibly challenging and dizzying. On the one hand, they may promote the "most wonderful time of the year" while tearing you down and making the entire season miserable for you. In this episode, I share three stories of Narcissistic abuse before going through 5 reasons why Narcissists ruin the holidays.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This is a question asks; did they love me? I offer two answers to this question that are short but gives some perspective to the topic. I plan to do a longer, in depth, episode on this. Send questions to me on Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

Questions and answers on Emotional Abuse and Narcissism

1. Is calling names, pointing fingers and degrading me during a fight when things go wrong abuse? Why do they pretend all is well during the calm cycle? How does one get out?

2. I love the Relationship Recovery Course. Did you always want to be a Life Coach?

3. Is it normal that I'm suddenly obsessed with learning more about Narcissism since I see these traits in my husband?

4. He's trying to hoover me back after I went no contact, but I can't help but feel guilty. What do I do?

5. I'm fresh out of an insanely toxic, abusive in every way relationship, and I can't stop cycling through the good memories. How do I make it? I want to call him.

6.  I found out last night that my Narc-ex is now engaged to a new girl while I'm still recovering from all the trauma. He caused me to throw away all the plans we made, he threw away so easily.  Do you have any advice? I was doing better until this pushed me down again.

7. I'm having a hard time accepting that what would happen to me is emotional abuse. Other people have had it worse than me. My situation has caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. Any advice?

8. Can you heal from a trauma bond if you stay with the same person who caused it?

9. Is it normal to care about my narcissistic ex that I hope they get the proper mental health?

10. My narcissistic ex somehow still knows everything I'm doing and is now accusing me of stealing his friends. We're supposed to be at a wedding this weekend, and he lied and said they didn't want me there, so I opted not to go. Is this normal behavior? Will he stop? 

11. My narcissistic spouse makes me highly anxious, and I've developed high blood pressure and a fast heart rate, but he says I just have anxiety issues. Is it normal to have physical symptoms of emotional abuse? 

12. Can an emotional abuser change?

13. Did you ever date again?

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

This is a rant. The rules of the game are not the same. The abuse is real. This page is called Emotional Abuse Coach so if this content is not for you, please go elsewhere, like Not Emotional Abuse Coach, and comment there. You are showing how un-empathetic you are to those who are going through Narcissistic Abuse. This has been happening since I created the page and I do not wish to argue, or even reply, to the comments, but I will not act like they aren't part of the problem because they are. This is how people react to victims of abuse and it PERPETUATES THE PROBLEM OF ABUSE.

Support the show

Join the Patreon: https://patreon.com/Youarenotcrazy

*New Course*: Unhooked: Map the Cycle of Abuse in your Relationship

Website: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.com
Instagram: @emotionalabusecoach
Email: jessica@jessicaknightcoaching.com

{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse

{E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist
{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal
{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner