On Attachment – Details, episodes & analysis

In today's episode, we’re exploring the common patterns and beliefs that lead people into situationships — those ambiguous, frustrating "almost-relationships" that never quite become something more. 

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situationship and wondered why it keeps happening, this episode is for you. We'll dive into four key reasons why you might be attracting these kinds of connections and how to start breaking free from the cycle. Specifically, we'll cover:

• how a fear of rejection stops you from expressing your desires
• the saviour complex and trying to change the emotionally unavailable person
• the tendency to prioritise chemistry over true compatibility and authentic connection
• tolerating situationships out of a fear that you can't do any better

If you’re tired of finding yourself in situationships, this episode will help you identify the underlying beliefs and behaviors contributing to the pattern. You'll learn practical steps to start attracting the kind of relationship you truly want.

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

This week, we're talking all about how avoidant attached people can experience conflict in a healthier, more productive way. I'll be sharing three tips that will allow you to feel more connected, grounded and in control in the way you approach conflict in your relationship. 

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why you might struggle to let go of someone after a break-up - especially in circumstances where you logically know that they were "bad" for you.  This is such a common experience, particularly for those with anxious attachment - feeling pulled in two different directions between what you know is best vs what your body and attachment system is urging you to do.

We cover:

• the importance of managing expectations after a break-up
• why it's normal to miss your ex (without it meaning anything)
• why unhealthy or dysfunctional relationships can be even harder to let go of
• treating moving on as a choice rather than a feeling\

If you're going through a break-up, check out my Higher Love break-up course (& save 50% with the code HEYBABY).

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In this episode, we're talking all about the stages of a relationship - specifically, what happens when we transition from the honeymoon period of a relationship (fuelled by chemistry, romance and infatuation) to the power struggle (where all our flaws and wounds come to the fore).

We'll talk about:

• what each stage of a relationship looks like
• why the transition from honeymoon period to power struggle feels like a bait & switch
• how anxious-avoidant dynamics overlay onto this dynamic
• how you can make the most of the power struggle stage & use it to grow closer as a couple

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In this episode, I'm answering the question of "I'm anxious, he's avoidant. Is it weird that I want more sex than him?" 

We cover:

• anxious-avoidant sexual dynamics
• the sexual honeymoon period and what happens afterward
• why avoidant partners withdraw sexually 
• how anxiously attached people use sex for validation 

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm offering 6 tips on how avoidant people can become more secure in their relationships. 

We cover: 

• the importance of getting to know your inner world
• learning to feel safe with healthy interdependency 
• increasing your tolerance for disharmony and conflict
• getting curious about your triggers before acting on them
• communicating with words rather than actions
• the benefits of co-regulation for your nervous system

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm sharing tips for initiating hard conversations with an avoidant partner. This is a question I get a lot - how to express needs to an avoidant partner, how to set boundaries, how to share feedback. These conversations are already intimidating for many anxiously attached folks, and when combined with the sensitivities of the avoidant partner, can be a perfect storm. 

We cover:

• how to set yourself up for success in initiating hard conversations
• the importance of a regulated nervous system
• tips for reaching a mutually beneficial outcome
• how to cultivate greater safety during conflict & challenging conversations

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In this episode, I'm talking all about perfectionism - but probably not in the way you've heard it spoken about before. Perfectionism is often thought of as a personality quirk - a commitment to high achieving and having things a certain way. But when it comes to relationships, perfectionism can be a powerful protective strategy that keeps us from being seen and known as our authentic selves.  

We cover:

• how anxiously attached people hold themselves to standards of perfection as a way to gain and keep someone's interest
• how avoidantly attached people use perfectionism & criticism as a distancing strategy to avoid intimacy & vulnerability
• what happens when these strategies collide in an anxious-avoidant dynamic

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's Q&A episode, I'm answering the question of "My ex moved on immediately post break-up and I can't help but take it personally." This is a really common pain point for people post-break-up, so don't beat yourself up if you're in this situation (or have been there in the past!)

We'll cover:

• why it's normal to feel hurt by a partner moving on faster than we do
• why it's so important to monitor the stories we tell ourselves post break-up
• reasons why people process break-ups differently
• how anxious vs avoidant people tend to move through the break-up period

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional health & safety in relationships. If you've ever wondered what "emotional safety" actually means, look no further - we'll be discussing some guiding principles and questions you can ask to assess how emotionally healthy your relationship is.  And most importantly, what you can do to improve the emotional state of your relationship - because let's face it, this is going to be a work in progress for most of us. 

We cover:

• voicing needs, concerns & boundaries
• navigating life's challenges as a team
• ability to safely & effectively repair after conflict
• feeling loved, cared for & respected
• how your nervous system can give you insight into your relationship's emotional health

Highlighted Links

• New Free Break-Up Training: The Top 3 Mistakes Keeping You Stuck After a Break-Up
• How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
• Buy tickets - London Event

Additional Resources

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website