Newborn to Teen and Everything in Between – Details, episodes & analysis

Safia told us all about her company The Mum Hub which she founded in Lockdown, her family and what else she has done and is doing in her career. We also discussed: 

• Time management for parents and the common things parents experience for example feeling they are having to be in too many places at once! 
• Having a to do list / a priority list and putting things on paper. E.g. what are the top 3 things that I have to focus on?  
• Planning and not feeling like you have to ‘do it all’.  Lowering expectations of yourself. 
• Walking pads! 
• Some techniques / tools to help manage time as well as setting boundaries - how available you make yourself / the ways you can be contacted. 
• How often it isn’t as bad as you thought it might be – having some perspective.  
• Teaching our children about how to manage their time and the myriad of notifications that are thrown at them on a daily basis.  
• Things we can do to help organise (and how it’s important to be able to trust others with tasks and preparation to help spread the load!). 
• Carving out time for yourself – how important it is, but how it can also lead to guilt. 
• Safia’s tips for how to cope when you are feeling overwhelmed. 

The Mum Hub website 

Instagram @bespokefamily / @the_mumhub 

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

In the week leading of Halloween you might find that your little ones are feeling more scared than usual. But regardless of this, children can be scared of lots of things and this is the subject of this episode!

We chatted about:

• Halloween and how we never really ‘did’ Halloween when we were little and how much it has ramped up in recent years. 
• What we were scared of when we were little (well mainly Becks!). 
• How every child is individual in terms of what they are / aren’t scared of – some children will LOVE being scared by example.  
• How to respond / react to a little one who is scared of something, the kind of things children can be scared of and why it might be. 
• Being scared of dying. 
• How feeling fear is a natural emotion and how we need it. 
• How to help children regulate when they are feeling scared.  
• Some techniques to help children when they feel scared.  
• Halloween and being scared! 

 Related blogs: 

 “I’m scared!” – 10 tips to help your toddler or pre-schooler with their fears 

My child is afraid of the dark 

Instagram @bespokefamily  

Facebook @bespokefamily 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Rebecca started her business when her children were quite young (the youngest was starting school) and she wanted to ‘find her thing’. 

We chatted about: 

• Rebecca's background – she set up an outsourcing agency ‘Get Ahead’ in 2010 working with companies to provide Virtual Assistants (VAs).  
• Having an open mind and a confidence to see where things go and how setting up a business feels like nurturing another child! 
• Balancing having a family and young children when setting up a business and how Rebecca managed it. 
• The challenges Rebecca faced along the way, how she tackled them and the impact this has had on the children and how they have developed. 
• How Rebecca transfers what she did when setting up her business to the VAs (who Rebecca calls ‘Virtual Experts’) working in the business empowering them to also work around their families. 
• Lockdown and how nothing really changed for Rebecca during that time (except for having the children at home!) and how the authenticity of working from home has been made so much easier since then. 
• Work / life balance and whether there is such a thing for people running their own business. 
• The joy of WhatsApp!! 
• Empty Nesting, the children in your life and how that feels for Rebecca and other business owners. 
• Rebecca’s proud moments and 3 tips for parents setting up their own business! 
•  

Get Ahead VA (Rebecca’s company) - https://getaheadva.com/ 

Get Ahead VA on Instagram - getaheadva 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more)  

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Cate is a Senior Associate at Kingsley Napley and spoke to us about what’s involved when parents divorce.  

We covered: 

• The 3 strands to a divorce – the divorce itself, the finances, the children. 
• No fault divorce and what it is / what it means. 
• What happens when courts get involved in terms of making an order about how the children spend their time between parents and whether there is any flexibility. 
• Particular patterns of how to share the care of children that Cate would recommend to parents. 
• How long the divorce process can take particularly when children are involved. 
• Mediation and how that works as part of the process. 
• What happens if you aren’t married and have children but want to separate.  
• Whether there is such a thing as common law marriage in the UK. 
• Child maintenance, what it is and how it is calculated (link below). 
• Cate’s tips for communicating your breakup with your child/ren and managing the relationship going forward.  
• Cate’s tips for trying to avoid an acrimonious divorce including making sure you have lots of people and systems around to support you both. 
• Having goals in place for the future with your children and the importance of communicating these to your lawyer.  
• Pre-nups / post-nups – the law around these and how they work. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Kingsley Napley Family Law - https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/insights/blogs/family-law-blog 

About Cate - https://www.kingsleynapley.co.uk/our-people/cate-maguire 

Child maintenance calculator - https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance 

One of the Apps Cate recommends – Our Family Wizard   

Our co-parenting blog - https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/coparenting 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Laura was born and raised in Southern California and has been in London since 2021.  She is the daughter of an Occupational Therapist (OT) and now runs a private practice – Kid Kind Collective and works with children as a Paediatric OT. 

We spoke about: 

• What an OT actually does (Becks had no idea!) and why they do what they do in terms of outcomes for the children. 
• How OTs help people be adaptive with how they get to the end goal. 
• All about sensory processing – what this means and how an OT can help as a ‘sensory detective’ and getting the whole family involved with this.  
• How an OT can help when children just can’t sit still (more detective work!) 
• How you can get your child referred to an OT and what happens at their first appointment (often work can start before an ADHD or Autism diagnosis for example). 
• The link with emotional regulation and how the work that an OT does to support children can impact on this. 
• Laura’s top 3 things that she loves about being an OT. 
• What Laura’s childhood was like as the daughter of an OT and what she learnt. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

Laura’s website:  https://www.kid-kind.com/ 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

This is a topic close to Becks’s heart as she starts to prepare for both of her children leaving home for university. One of Becks’s friends asked us to record this episode – so here you are! 

We spoke about: 

• How it’s a different milestone to going to childcare / school for the first time. 
• The social media phenomenon of making the most of ‘18 summers with your children’...what we think! 
• The feelings and emotions that you have and the stages that you go through when your child/ren leave home. 
• How Claire felt sad for her parents when she left home for college and how it’s important to think about how you manage the situation as a parent. 
• Preparing for the empty nest and the importance of planning for you; what can you do that you have always wanted to?  
• Teaching your child/ren life skills and how key this is to prepare them! 
• How they will still need you (and the fact that they might come back..!!!!!)! 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Please note that Meriel was a surrogate in the US and rules in each country are very different – to find out more about surrogacy rules in the UK you can find them here and more information on surrogacy in the UK here. 

Meriel is a three times surrogate from the United States. She was blessed to help two families achieve the dream of completing their families through surrogacy. She currently works for an agency as a surrogacy journey coordinator, where she is passionate about helping to create families and supporting other women who wish to embark on the amazing and fulfilling journey of becoming surrogates.  

We spoke to Meriel about: 

• What made her decide to become a surrogate and how her family and others reacted (including some funny stories!). 
• What surrogacy is, who might use a surrogate and why that might be. 
• Some terminology and the process for both the family and the surrogate. 
• The contact that the surrogate has with the family throughout the pregnancy and beyond. 
• The labour experience and who shared the labour room with Meriel when she had the babies and how special she tried to make it for everyone involved. 
• What being a surrogate means to Meriel, the joy she took from it and how it has shaped her and her life as it is now as a surrogacy journey coordinator. 
• Some of the rules around surrogacy and being a surrogate as well as the support that there is for surrogates. 
• Keeping in touch with the families after the birth of their baby and whether that happens. 
• Who is on the birth certificate and legalities (spoiler it can be quite complicated – especially in the US!). 
• How research into the best surrogacy path is SO vital! 

https://www.collectivesurrogacy.com/ - the agency where Meriel works and where you can find her blogs 

Meriel on LinkedIn 

Read our blog where we talked to Simon Berney Edwards about his experience of surrogacy here. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily  

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

We spoke to Hayley and Becky from Paths to Parent Hub. We first came across Paths to Parent Hub when we listened to their podcast following a recommendation from a friend. 

We started with Hayley and Becky sharing their own stories with us. Hayley is a donor conceived person herself and is also a parent of twins through sperm donation. Becky was diagnosed with early menopause at 28 – she and her husband did 5 rounds of IVF and then decided to use an egg donor to have her 3 children. Both Hayley and Becky shared their stories on the internet and found each other there. 

Becky created Paths to Parent Hub (a membership platform) during lockdown to support people in similar situations to themselves and it now has over 1000 members. 

We also talked about: 

• When and how Hayley found out that she was a donor conceived person and the reasons she talks about her story now. 
• Talking with donor conceived children about how they came to be and dealing with their questions, and those from family and friends. 
• The laws around donor conception and the parallels with adoption. 
•  The experience that Becky had abroad in finding an egg donor and how she feels now about having chosen to have an anonymous donor.  
• Whether there is a limit on how many families one donor can produce and how this differs around the world. 
• The reasons someone might want / need to use a donor.  
• Hayley’s experience when finding her parent sperm donor. 
• Terminology around donor conception.  
• The information you get about a donor when choosing and how the matching works. 
• What Hayley and Becky would say to people considering donor conception. 
• About Paths to Parent Hub and the support, information and connection opportunities. 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily / @pathstoparenthub / @definingmum  @dcp_journey_2_rp 

Paths to Parent Hub website 

All things donor conception  - Hayley’s website 

Paths to Parent Hub podcast 

For information about a Bespoke Family Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

Lee is Becks’s ‘Boxing trainer’ - (well kind of 😉!) and a personal trainer (to real boxers!). He is also a stay-at-home dad looking after his little girl Beaux which started when she was 3 months old. 

We talked to Lee about: 

• As a couple how Lee and his wife came to the decision that Lee would be the main carer and how he felt about it. 
• The reaction from friends and family to Lee staying at home with his little one. 
• How he and his wife prepared for parenthood (reading blogs, books, listening to podcasts (ours) and talking to other parents) and how important routine and consistency was for them. 
• The importance of working together as a team, communicating about next steps and what might need to be changed etc. 
• How Lee fills his weeks with Beaux doing groups, dancing, swimming, crafts and play. Fitting in at baby and toddler groups and what it feels like to often be the only dad there.  
• How Lee feels really lucky to be able to spend this amount of time with his daughter. 
• Being an only child – the worries Lee has about Beaux being one (Claire is one too so no need to worry 😉). 
• Dads and daughters and the wonderful bond they can have! 
• What Lee would say to other stay at home / solo dads. 

Read our blogs about dads and supporting dads here -

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/gettingtoknowmarkwilliams?rq=dad

https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/blog/supportingdads?rq=dad 

Socials: Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily 

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations    

‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative 

You probably already know Susie Amy – perhaps from Footballer’s Wives or maybe from Hollyoaks or as a stage actress (we recently saw her in Fatal Attraction).  We do too, but we are also lucky to know Susie via a mutual friend who gave her a gift of some time with Claire when her first baby was born. Susie didn’t feel for a while that she was ready to use this gift straight away – she felt instead that her baby didn’t like / need sleep and was just a bit different! When Claire spent some time with Susie and her family a routine was introduced and they haven’t looked back! 

We talked to Susie about: 

• The importance of sleep (and how more sleep means better sleep)! 
• When Claire had worked with her and Raff to introduce a routine - they stuck to it like glue and responded to their baby’s sleep signals, Noa immediately responded! 
• How predictability is important to all of us and how Susie has found the children’s routine helpful for her as well. 
• The responsibility of having a baby feeling huge, but how just a few tweaks and a routine can help so much. 
• Trusting your instincts as a parent. 
• Being nap trapped and how it doesn’t have to be a negative thing! 
• Restorative naps and where these work best. 
• Morning, bedtime and bathtime routines and how important they are from the start. 
• How the best gift for a new parent is support! 

Instagram - @bespokefamily / Facebook - @bespokefamily 

 ‘Your Guide to...’ (our downloadable webinars including behaviour, toilet training, sleep and more) - get 25% off any guide with the code ‘PODCAST’     

For information about a Parent Consultation click here: https://www.bespokefamily.co.uk/parent-consultations     

This podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative