Lost Spaces: Memories from Gay Bars, Lesbian Clubs, and LGBTQ+ Parties – Details, episodes & analysis

So, I will readily admit that I was a bit naive when it came to the world of leather pageantry.

Obviously I knew that these leather competitions existed, and that they were loosely modelled on beauty pageants, but I kind of assumed that they weren't all that serious.

I just thought that people showed up, had a bit of a laugh, took a few pictures and then went home.

But, I was wrong.

And, I quickly learnt that when I sat down to talk about lost London space The Hoist with life coach and former stand up comedian John Pendal.

John also happens to be the International Mr Leather 2003, so you can rest assured he knows a thing or two about leather pageantry.

As well as excessive instances of me saying 'wow' you can expect to hear about John's sex spreadsheet, the effort he put in to preparing for the different categories of the pageant, and how he discovered his neurodiversity many years later.

Follow me

Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow my guest

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/johnpendal.coach/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Website: johnpendal.com

Website: https://www.leatherlondonguide.com

The lyric to that very famous 80s TV theme song is 'sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name'.

Whilst I think that's true I also think there are times where you want to go where nobody knows your name and where there's absolutely no risk of running in to anybody that you even vaguely know.

It's that type of space that gave this week's guest - scholar, therapist and host of the Gender Studies podcast Alex Iantaffi - the courage to actually go through the front door and start to explore their queerness for the first time.

And so, in this episode, Alex takes us back to the 90s and sits us down in a corner seat in London's First Out Cafe to show us the magical, open, friendly space that made them feel welcome.

Follow me

Instagram: ⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Sign up to the Queer Word newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠ https://queer-word.beehiiv.com/subscribe

Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/xtaffi

Podcast: https://episodes.fm/1353717550

I think what's so magical about a place like London is the promise of what the city represents rather than what it can actually meaningfully offer people...

And, that might sound like a strange distinction, but for me London was always the place that I was going to run away to in order to become the person that I was meant to be. And it was here that I was going to live out my dreams and have every success in the world.

And, in some ways it didn't matter that all of those things didn't happen to me, because the magic of the city still drew me to it.

For many it still holds this promise.

In fact, it was this way for this week's guest, the artist Recognition.

London gave him this vast city where he was anonymous and able to play around with his own concept of who he was.

He did that through dating apps (of course), but also through queer sports clubs, and the many bars and nightclubs in the city.

In our chat we talk about age-gap relationships, dark rooms, and taking your shirt off on the dancefloor of the lost space XXL...

Follow me

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lostspacespod

Facebook: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.facebook.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

Subscribe to the Queer Word newsletter: https://tinyurl.com/qwsignup

Support me

Buy Me A Coffee: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.buymeacoffee.com/lostspacespod⁠⁠⁠⁠

Follow my guest

Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/recognition.art/

Website: https://www.recognition-art.com/

Normally when I sit down to talk to my guests we have a bit of chit-chat to break the ice and ease us in before we get going. 

But, occasionally, the chit-chat turns in to something very interesting and I have to scrabble to press record whilst making sure we don't lose the rhythm of the conversation.

Which is what you will find with the start of this week's episode, where Mike, one half of the presenters of the Gayish podcast started to tell me about going out to the gay bar R Place in Seattle with his then wife... 

And, if the conversation is getting good before you've even started recording then you know you're in for a good episode!

I talk with Mike, and his co-host Kyle, all about how they first met, how to spot a Seattle gay, and we reminisce about standing on the pavement at the end of the night after you've been kicked out of the pub scouring around for someone to go home with....

Do you have any memories of R Place, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Mike and Kyle by visiting their website https://www.gayishpodcast.com/, following them on Twitter https://twitter.com/gayishpodcast or Instagram https://www.instagram.com/gayishpodcast/, or listening to their show wherever you find podcasts!

If you love episodes where I gasp a lot, you're going to love this week's show!

Now, I know you're not going to believe me when I say this, but the whole concept of cruising in bathrooms is totally foreign to me, and something that I thought it was high time I got a little lesson on. 

So, luckily for me, Mat Hawley, from Mat Tales Podcast, dropped by to talk me through the basics. 

And, I'm in good hands. His show, Mat Tales: 40 Years of Gay Adventures, is a show where he shares stories of his sexual experiences over the last 40 years... And, if he doesn't know about it then it's probably not worth knowing!

We talk all about growing up in a small town, the fine art of fuck buddies, and learning to amalgamate both the vanilla and slutty sides of yourself.

Do you have any memories of cruising, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Mat Tales by following him on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/mattalesgayadventures), visiting his website (https://www.mattales.com/), or.... just listening to his show wherever you stream podcasts!

* This episode is sponsored by Spaces, the new group chat app for queer communities - find out more at https://www.queerspaces.com/ (and, come join the Lost Queer Spaces Space after you've set up your profile! *

One of the things I love doing most about this show is, obviously, getting the chance to learn about different people's experiences and circumstances. 

But, within that, there's often a really nice reminder of how nobody's journey is the same. 

There are so many ways to come out, there are so many ways to fall in love, and there are all of these different ways in which a space can be important to you. 

Some of my guests have only been to a space once, some went religiously over a period of years (or decades)... and, then, there are some people who had breaks in-between, going at different periods of their life.

One such person is the Canadian writer, artist, historian, and host of the trans history podcast 'One From The Vaults', Morgan M Page. Morgan first went to Goodhandy's in Toronto as a fresh-faced 19 year old, but then had a few different periods where the space wove in and out of her life, each time offering something different...

We caught up to talk about call centre scams, conspiracy theories, and having warm and fuzzy feelings for someone who is supposed to be a friend...

Do you have any memories of Goodhandy's, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Morgan by visiting her website www.odofemi.com

* This episode is sponsored by Spaces, the new group chat app for queer communities - find out more at https://www.queerspaces.com/ (and, come join the Lost Queer Spaces Space after you've set up your profile! *

Picture it.

It's 1989. 

Maud's, one of the only lesbian bars in San Francisco, is about to close down permanently. 

And, in its last few days a plucky film crew sets up to document the final days of the bar, celebrate the women who went there, and mark the importance of such a space.

I know this is a really naive thing to say, but it blows my mind that as a community we were having these conversations about the importance of queer spaces and their preservation of our culture over 30 years ago! And we're still having them! 

The resulting documentary from these few days of filming, 'Last Call at Maud's' is a fascinating insight into not only the lesbian bar scene, but where we were culturally at that time.

So, why am I telling you all of this? Well, i was lucky enough to sit down with the film-makers Paris Poirier and Karen Kiss, to talk about them making the film, the reaction to it, and..... what San Francisco life was like back in the 70s and 80s....

Do you have any memories of Maud's, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Last Call at Maud's by visiting the website http://lastcallatmauds.com/

* This episode is sponsored by Spaces, the new group chat app for queer communities - find out more at https://www.queerspaces.com/ (and, come join the Lost Queer Spaces Space after you've set up your profile! * 

You know how when you were a baby gay and you had to someone pluck up every single shred of courage within you in order to make that first visit to your local queer bar, and how you had to go through the emotional acrobats just to make that first step through the front door?

Well.... my guest this week DIDN'T have that experience at all! 

In fact, bucking all trends and being in a long-term relationship that started when he was 16... Which means he was introduced to clubbing by his boyfriend, and didn't have to do all of that awkward small talk and flirting with strangers that made the rest of us want to shrivel up and disappear in to the beer-soaked carpet... 

So that means that this week's guest, Jonathan Marotto, from the Yaaas Bro podcast, has a really different perspective on his early days of clubbing and how they shaped him. 

We caught up to talk about the Miami under-age club 'Diskotekka', and along the way we discuss how Lady Gaga helped with his coming out, breaking up, getting back together, and then breaking up again.... and I get some tips on how to convince your classmates that you're totally, totally 'masc'... 

Do you have any memories of Diskoteka, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Jonathan by visiting  his website https://www.yaaasbro.com/,  or follow him on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yaaas.bro/

*Before we dive in to this week's episode - did you know that I also write a weekly newsletter? I'd love to spend a little time in your inbox! If you want some queer shit once a week sign up here - https://tinyurl.com/lostspacespod *

One of the perverse things about doing this podcast is that when I'm talking to a potential guest and they say that all of the bars that were ever significant in their life are still open, instead of me responding 'Yay! That's great news! Queer spaces are thriving', I'm like 'Damn! Now we have nothing to talk about!'  

Anyway, that's a long way of saying that that is exactly what happened when I first got in touch with this week's guest. J.P. Der Boghossian, the founder of Queer Armenian Library and the host of the podcast This Queer Book Saved My Life. 

The bar that he first went to when he started going out, Sidetrack in Northern Michigan, is still open. 

But, after a bit of back and forth we realised that one of the other spaces that he frequented at that time, the magical world of AOL chatrooms, no longer exist!

So, we're taking a trip back to the late 90s, in the very early days of the internet, to talk to random strangers and take grainy pictures of ourselves with our shitty webcams! 

Do you have any memories of AOL chat rooms, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about J.P. by visiting his website https://jpderboghossian.com/, the Queer Armenian Library https://queerarmenianlibrary.com/ website or the podcast This Queer Book Saved My Life https://thisqueerbook.com/

*Before we dive in to this week's episode - did you know that I also write a weekly newsletter? I'd love to spend a little time in your inbox! If you want some queer shit once a week sign up here - https://tinyurl.com/lostspacespod *

So, you're new to a city... You know no-one... The job you moved for has since disappeared, and you've got to start from scratch...

Where do you go to meet people? How do you make new friends?

Well, how about... Facebook? (You thought i was going to say your local gay bar, didn't you?)

For this week's guest, Maurice Smith from Category Is... Podcast, it was Facebook where he first made connections after he moved to Philadelphia in the late 00s.

But, when it was time to meet them in real life? That's where Bump came in to play.

We chat all about renaming the gaybourhood, learning to overcome shyness, and, I learn a new word - meetcute! Wanna know what it means? Well, you'll have to listen to the episode to find out....

Do you have any memories of Bump?, or clubbing from your own queer scene that you want to share? Well, if you have please get in touch - I want to create the biggest online record of people's memories and stories - go to www.lostspacespodcast.com and find the section 'Share a Lost Space' and tell me what you got up to! Bonus points for embarrassing photos!

You can also find me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/lostspacespod), Instagram (www.instagram.com/lostspacespod) and Twitter (www.twitter.com/lostspacespod)

Find out more about Maurice by following Category Is... on twitter (https://twitter.com/CategoryIsPod), or listen to the show wherever you stream podcasts!