EVOLVE with Dr. Tay: the podcast for parents of autistic kids – Details, episodes & analysis

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this episode, Dr. Tay speaks with Carrie Cariello, a mother of five, including an autistic young adult. Carrie shares her family's journey, advocacy work, and the unique challenges and triumphs of raising an autistic child. They discuss practical strategies for fostering independence, the importance of community, navigating the education system, and marital dynamics. Carrie also shares insights into the transition to young adulthood, including finding supportive college programs. This episode offers hope, practical advice, and a reminder that families are not alone in their journey.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Overview

02:09 Meet Carrie Cariello: A Journey Through Autism

03:00 Carrie's Family and Early Diagnosis

04:07 From Writing to Advocacy

06:40 Navigating Challenges and Safety Concerns

08:59 Parenting Strategies and Splinter Skills

17:50 Redefining Family Dynamics

27:48 Parenting Challenges and Triumphs

28:41 Navigating Discomfort and Fix-It Mode

29:16 Dinner Time Dilemmas

31:28 College Program Search

36:24 Balancing Marriage and Parenting

40:12 Encouraging Independence

45:48 Final Thoughts and Resources

RESOURCES

⚡️ connect with Carrie >>

Instagram @carrie_cariello 

Facebook @whatcolorismonday

Website Link: https://carriecariello.substack.com

⚡️ want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current services offered? visit drtaylorday.com

⚡️ learn from me and submit your questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

*please note: in this episode, many terminologies and phrases are used to describe autism. Dr. Tay honors what each child and family prefers, and intentionally chooses to use affirming and identity-first language after listening to autistic adults and their preferences. various guests on the podcast are likely to use the language that they have been exposed to the most.

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

In this episode, Dr. Tay hosts Maggie of Unfurling Littles and explores Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) from an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) lens. They discuss how to incorporate neurodiversity-affirming practices into ABA to create a compassionate, child-led approach. Maggie shares her journey into the field, her own lived experience as an autistic individual, and practical examples of how ACT principles can be applied within ABA for the benefit of both children and their families. The episode also addresses common concerns about traditional ABA and offers insights on fostering mindful play and regulation.

00:00 Introduction and Podcast Overview

00:46 Guest Introduction: Maggie from Unfurling Littles

02:33 Maggie's Journey into Early Childhood Special Education

03:43 Challenges and Criticisms of ABA

06:28 Maggie's Personal Neurodivergence Story

08:29 Founding Unfurling Littles and Professional Challenges

10:59 Navigating ABA and Neurodiversity Affirming Practices

14:38 Introduction to ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

16:39 Implementing ACT in Family and Child Goals

21:26 Balancing Family and Child Values in Therapy

27:08 Practical Applications of ACT in Therapy

29:25 Measuring Engagement and Joy in Child Interactions

29:59 Integrating Child-Led Approaches in Therapy

30:27 Present Moment Awareness and Neurodiversity Affirming Practices

32:04 Mindfulness in Neurodiversity Affirming Care

34:16 Handling Dysregulation with ACT Principles

36:32 The Importance of Validating Emotions

40:41 Healing Through Neurodiversity Affirming Practices

44:33 The Evolution and Future of ABA

50:49 Connecting with Families and Resources

52:45 Final Thoughts and Next Steps

RESOURCES

⚡️ connect with Maggie on Instagram @unfurling_littles and her website https://www.unfurlinglittles.com

⚡️ want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current services offered? visit drtaylorday.com

⚡️ join the Evolve Facebook community to participate in the episode Q+As >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

⚡️ learn from me and submit your questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

Note: PDA is a theorized profile of autism and not a clinical diagnosis. however, it has been a helpful conceptualization for many parents to learn about how their child's brain is wired. our knowledge of PDA is currently unfolding and I do my best to share up-to-date, balanced information. to learn more about PDA, please listen to episode 110

ABOUT THIS EPISODE (+ scroll for resources) 👇

Dr. Tay and Chandele Morris, an inclusive educational consultant and author, discuss the barriers in the educational system, the importance of understanding neurodiversity and tangible steps to be better advocates for autistic children. Chandele shares her experiences as a former educator and a parent of an autistic/ADHD child, emphasizing the need for inclusive education and the significance of updating educational training. The episode also highlights practical strategies for creating inclusive classrooms and the role of community and resources in supporting neurodivergent children.

00:00 Introduction to the Educational System and Advocacy

00:41 Meet Chandele Morris, an Inclusive Educational Consultant

02:25 Understanding Neurodiversity in Education

03:29 Challenges in Teacher Training and Awareness

05:45 The Need for Systemic Change in Education

09:24 Inclusion vs. Segregation in Classrooms

15:41 Real-Life Examples and Solutions for Inclusion

27:10 Fidgets and Sensory Breaks in Classrooms

28:01 Inclusive Classroom Practices

29:01 Understanding Neurodivergence in Families

29:38 AAC Devices and Communication

31:24 Teaching Empathy and Inclusion

36:25 Challenges in Changing Educational Systems

41:36 Finding Community and Support

44:06 The Role of Children's Books in Neurodiversity

46:38 Conclusion and Next Steps

RESOURCES

⚡️ connect with Chandele Morris

Instagram @Diversityofminds

TikTok @Diversityofminds  

Facebook @Diversityofminds

⚡️ check out Chandele's books

The Beauty of Us All

I'm Just a Kid: A Social Emotional Book about Self-Regulation

⚡️email Morrishousepublishers@gmail.com to schedule an author visit, professional development, or order bulk copies of books

⚡️ want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approach and current services offered? visit drtaylorday.com

⚡️ join the Evolve Facebook community to participate in the episode Q+As >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

⚡️ learn from me and submit your questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

*please note: in this episode, many terminologies and phrases are used to describe autism. Dr. Tay honors what each child and family prefers, and intentionally chooses to use affirming and identity-first language after listening to autistic adults and their preferences. various guests on the podcast are likely to use the language that they have been exposed to the most.

RESOURCES

⚡️ follow Kelsey on Instagram @kelseykerslake and learn more about the Aligned Business

⚡️ want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

⚡️ join the Evolve Facebook community to participate in the episode Q+As >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

⚡️ learn from me and submit your questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Dr. Tay had the pleasure of speaking with her business coach, Kelsey Kerslake, about her journey through the autism diagnosis process for her son, Carter. Kelsey shares her initial concerns about Carter's development and how she followed her instincts after being told by a speech-language therapist that Carter didn't have autism.

Listen in as Kelsey opens up about the emotional rollercoaster of the autism evaluation process, the struggles Carter faced with new situations, and the ultimate validation she felt after receiving the diagnosis. Also discussed is the impact of Kelsey's own ADHD diagnosis as well as how she created a business (and helps others too!) that allows her to prioritize Carter's needs without sacrificing success. Kelsey highlights the importance of trusting your instincts as a parent and seeking the right support for your child, and her experiences are a testament to the power of acceptance and hope in the autism journey.

CHAPTERS

0:04:50 - Navigating a speech delay

0:07:53 - Early signs of autism

0:12:28 - Seeking early intervention and an autism referral

0:22:29 - What an autism evaluation can look like

0:25:58 - Benefits of telehealth evaluations

0:34:50 - Navigating post-diagnosis and school supports

0:40:32 - Achieving balance as a business owner

in this mini episode inspired by "The Gap and the Gain" by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy, Dr. Tay addresses the struggles of finding joy that can arise as a parent of an autistic child. the key message revolves around shifting one's mindset from focusing on the gap, which is comparing a child's progress to neurotypical standards, to celebrating the child's progress and accomplishments.

RESOURCES

⚡️order "The Gap and The Gain" by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy

⚡️ join the Evolve Facebook community to participate in the episode Q+As >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

⚡️ learn from me and submit your questions [could be featured on a future episode] >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

⚡️ want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

DISCLAIMER >> anything shared on this podcast should not be considered clinical advice, and you should consult with your team of medical, mental health, and developmental providers if you need support.

in this mini episode, Dr. Tay explores the concept of embracing your gut instinct, announces an exciting change to the podcast format, and shares an important message for parents of autistic children on the importance of being present.

RESOURCES

⚡️join the Evolve Facebook community to participate in the episode Q+As >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

⚡️learn from me and ask me questions >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

⚡️want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

DISCLAIMER >> Anything shared on this podcast should not be considered clinical advice, and you should consult with your team of medical, mental health, and developmental providers if you need support.

join the evolve Facebook community to participate in the weekly Q+A >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

ABA or applied behavior analysis therapy has become a controversial topic in the autism community. as a provider, and after listening to an immense amount of feedback in the field on this subject, I think it's important for you to understand the controversy in order to decide what's best for your family.

in this episode, we deep dive into some of the concerns about ABA therapy. my ultimate goal is that you have informed consent as a parent. and then we discuss if you choose to pursue ABA, how you can advocate for ABA to be more aligned with neurodiversity-affirming care.

this episode will help you learn:

• what ABA therapy is
• how the autistic community feels about ABA therapy
• how you can make the best decision for your child, as well as alternatives to this method of therapy

resources mentioned in the episode to learn more >>

Start Here: A guide for parents of autistic kids

Autistic Self-Advocacy Network (ASAN)

want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? >> schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

other places you can learn from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

join the evolve Facebook community to participate in the weekly Q+A >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

I often see in my work as a child psychologist that parents don't understand what their rights are and what their autistic children should be receiving through the educational system.

in this episode, we dive into IDEA, specially designed instruction, IEPs, 504s, and more. we talk specifically about the history of special education and what as a parent you can advocate for. it's important to recognize that a clinical diagnosis isn't the same as an educational diagnosis, so we're going through that educational process with my expert guest, Ashley Barlow, an attorney and former teacher. Ashley also has experience navigating special education as a parent, as her 13-year-old son, Jack, has Down Syndrome.

this episode will help you learn:

• why the public education system has to provide support for your autistic child
• the differences between an IEP and a 504 plan
• interest-based negotiation and knowing your rights as a parent
• specific steps for how you can advocate for your autistic child

ways to connect with Ashley >>

learn more about her free and affordable resources at ashleybarlowco.com

follow her on Instagram @ashleybarlowco and Facebook Ashley Barlow Co

want to learn more about The Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered through Dr. Tay Concierge Clinical Care? >> schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

other places you can learn from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

join the evolve Facebook community to participate in the weekly Q+A >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

have you been considering an evaluation or are currently going through the diagnosis process? you may wonder if your child has autism or if there is another diagnosis that explains their behaviors.

in this episode, I describe the process of "differential diagnosis." this is when professionals consider all symptoms and determine what is the best explanation of your child's behaviors. I'm giving you a peek into my diagnostic process so you can better understand how autism is assessed and how final diagnostic determinations are made.

this episode will help you learn:

• what you should know going into an evaluation
• more about other disorders that are considered as part of the evaluation, like ADHD, ODD, SPD, and anxiety
• which diagnoses commonly overlap with autism

note: in the episode, I reference increased psychiatric medication use. the study I mentioned (Madden et al., 2017) indicated that autistic youth are nearly 11x more likely to be on psychiatric medication than their non-autistic peers.

want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? >> schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

other places you can learn from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay

join the evolve Facebook community to participate in the weekly Q+A >> facebook.com/groups/evolveautism

are you in obligation as a parent of an autistic child?

you deserve to not feel constant stress as a parent. yes, you have extra responsibilities as an autism parent but these don’t have to create a feeling of obligation.

in this episode, we're exploring the difference between obligation vs. responsibilities and how your thoughts about your to-do list affect the way you feel and therefore affect the way you take action.

this episode will help you learn:

• the steps and stages of the obligation cycle
• how you can start to make changes to get yourself out of the cycle
• three strategies you can implement on a day-to-day basis

want to learn more about Dr. Tay's Whole Family Approachᵀᴹ and current services offered? >> schedule a free consult call here or email admin@drtaylorday.com if you have questions.

other places you can learn from me >>

Instagram @the.dr.tay

TikTok @the.dr.tay

LinkedIn @the-dr-tay