The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.
I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself.
Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.
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399. Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Are Finally Going Well
lundi 21 septembre 2026 • Durée 35:47
You finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull back, or suddenly find something wrong that wasn't there last week. There are two very specific reasons you self-sabotage when things are finally going well, and today you'll learn both, plus effective tools so you can stop self-sabotaging and start enjoying your life.
Take the assessment: Are You Self-Handicapping or Self-Verifying? A 2-Minute Check-In if You’re Self-Sabotaging When Things are Good: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage
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398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix)
Saison 9 · Épisode 398
lundi 14 septembre 2026 • Durée 38:38
You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.
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397. Whose Voice Is Your Inner Critic, Really?
Saison 9 · Épisode 397
lundi 7 septembre 2026 • Durée 45:19
Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is you've been repeating it in your own head for so long you forgot it was someone else's way of thinking and not your own. It's time to choose what you say to yourself, so today I'm going to help you figure out who you are underneath that voice and my two-step process for getting it to stop running the show.
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396. The Mental Load: Why Helping Doesn’t Help
Saison 9 · Épisode 396
lundi 31 août 2026 • Durée 46:33
You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that chicken still good or does it have to get cooked tomorrow? Did the permission slip get signed for the field trip? And crap, I forgot to call mom back!
That’s the mental load, and it’s why you’re so tired. This isn’t about better sleep or having more downtime. It’s about the things you don’t realize you’re carrying. Today you’re going to learn what mental load really is, why it doesn’t get one bit lighter when somebody offers to help, and five things you can do about it.
👉 Pick up a copy of my new book, Boundaries Made Easy: Your Roadmap to Connection, Ease and Joy:
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395. Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child or Mascot: Which One Were You?
Saison 9 · Épisode 395
lundi 24 août 2026 • Durée 48:36
Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours.
👉 Buy my #1 bestselling book on Amazon, Be Happily Married: Even If Your Partner Won’t Do a Thing:
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394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love
lundi 17 août 2026 • Durée 28:03
You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you walked through your own front door and said something to the person you love most that you would never in a million years have said to either of those strangers. So, if you’ve ever thought, why am I so mean to the people I love, today’s episode is for you.
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393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way)
Saison 9 · Épisode 393
lundi 10 août 2026 • Durée 43:53
You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attachment; it's real, and researchers have been studying it for decades.
Today you'll learn what earned secure attachment really is, the three things earned secure attachment is not, and the five tools to start building it this week.
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Full blog and show note: https://abbymedcalf.com/earned-secure-attachment
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392. How Do You Actually Build Emotional Intimacy?
Saison 8 · Épisode 392
lundi 20 juillet 2026 • Durée 46:13
You can be married for thirty years and still feel lonely with the person sleeping next to you. If this is (or has been you), what you’ve actually been missing isn’t more time together, more sex, or more communication. You’re missing emotional intimacy. Today I’m walking you through what emotional intimacy actually is, the four things people confuse it with, why it’s so hard to build, the four building blocks that make it real, and exactly how to start practicing each one… starting today.
👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass:
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391. How Do You Know If You’re Really in Love?
Saison 8 · Épisode 391
lundi 13 juillet 2026 • Durée 47:29
Today I’m going to walk you through what “in love” really means at the brain level (spoiler: it’s not just chemistry), why fear sounds so much like love your nervous system can’t tell them apart, the four fear thoughts that masquerade as love and how to spot each one, what real love feels like in your body, and how this should look at different stages of a relationship so you can tell whether you’re in love at the beginning, the middle, or the long-haul phase you might be in right now.
Free Download: Am I in Love or Just Afraid? It’s a quick scorecard that’ll help you walk through this exact test on your own relationship: https://abbymedcalf.com/am-i-in-love
👉 Pick up The Workbook: Boundaries Made Easier to use as a companion to the book or as a standalone masterclass:
Our Sponsors:* Check out Quince and use my code quince.com/RME for a great deal: https://www.quince.com* Check out Upwork and use my code upwork.com for a great deal: https://www.upwork.comAdvertising Inquiries: Privacy & Opt-Out:
390. “But It Felt So Real”: Why Red Flags Don’t Look Like Red Flags
Saison 8 · Épisode 390
lundi 6 juillet 2026 • Durée 47:40
Today I’m not doing the standard “look for red flags” thing. Ugh, I hate that phrase. It puts the whole burden on you to spot something that, by its nature, doesn’t look like a flag at all. (And then when you don’t see it, somehow that’s your fault? Nope. Stop. We’re not doing that here.)
The reason red flags feel like green flags is that high-intensity behaviors mimic the outputs of real love, things like attention, certainty, and devotion, without including any of the inputs, things like time, consistency, and being actually known. So today I’m walking you through eight specific behaviors that consistently get mistaken for green flags, plus one tool, the Pace Test, that does the work of all of them at once. You’re going to leave with a real radar for this.
Free Download: Is This a Green Flag or Just a Fast Flag?: A Quick Self-Check for Early Dating. Use this tool the next time you’re in early dating, or to look back honestly at a past relationship and see what you might have been picking up on: https://abbymedcalf.com/green-flag-fast-flag
✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
✨ Community chats and live Q&A calls with Abby
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