The research says the key to a happy life is happy relationships. But how exactly do you make your relationships better? That’s what this show is all about.
I’m Dr. Abby Medcalf, psychologist, best-selling author, TEDx speaker, and (according to my kids) the bossy Jewish mom you didn’t know you needed. With decades of experience and millions of listeners in over 180 countries, I give you the no-fluff, research-backed strategies to make all your relationships better: with your partner, your family, your friends, and (most importantly) yourself.
Every week on the Relationships Made Easy podcast, I mix straight talk, humor, and science to help you communicate effectively, set healthy boundaries, and stop second-guessing yourself. Because great relationships aren’t built in a day. Great relationships are built daily.
402. Unrealistic Expectations in Relationships: Why You Can’t See Yours (and What to Do Instead)
Saison 9 · Épisode 402
lundi 12 octobre 2026 • Durée 51:38
If you’ve ever been disappointed or frustrated in a relationship, your expectations were too high. Think about it. Disappointment is what happens when you expect one thing and get another. Your own expectations don’t seem unrealistic to you, even though they often are, because you’re usually not aware you even have them. Most of them started out as preferences, you know, the way you like things done. But then, somewhere along the way, they turned into “shoulds” that are just facts everyone is supposed to follow.
Today you’ll learn why you don’t realize you’re setting expectations for other people, what happens when a preference turns into a “should,” and three steps to turn your expectations back into preferences you can ask for, let go of, or get met somewhere else.
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401. Triggered or Just Upset? How to Tell (And What to Do When Someone Says "I'm Triggered")
Saison 9 · Épisode 401
lundi 5 octobre 2026 • Durée 43:59
It seems like triggers are everywhere these days. Last week at my local coffee shop, I heard someone say they were triggered because they were out of the kind of tea they liked to drink. Maybe someone in your life says “I’m triggered” in the middle of an argument, and you have to stop the conversation even though you think they’re using it as a weapon. Or maybe you feel what you consider to be a true trigger when someone confronts you and your mind goes blank, and you feel numb. When is trigger the right word for what happened? Today you’re getting the real definition of a trigger, what to do if a real trigger comes up in conversation, and how to (finally) resolve communication issues when someone says they’re triggered.
✨ Worksheets, journal prompts, downloads, and guided visualizations
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400. Can One Person Really Change a Relationship? Here's What the Research Says
Saison 9 · Épisode 400
lundi 28 septembre 2026 • Durée 40:19
You've been waiting for someone else to change first - your partner, your mother, your business partner, whoever it is - because you think the relationship can't change until they do something different. Today you're going to learn why that wait was never necessary. One person, on their own, is enough to change the whole relationship.
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399. Why You Self-Sabotage When Things Are Finally Going Well
lundi 21 septembre 2026 • Durée 35:47
You finally get the good thing: the relationship that's steady, the promotion, the friendship that's truly reciprocal, and right when it's working, you pick a fight, or pull back, or suddenly find something wrong that wasn't there last week. There are two very specific reasons you self-sabotage when things are finally going well, and today you'll learn both, plus effective tools so you can stop self-sabotaging and start enjoying your life.
Take the assessment: Are You Self-Handicapping or Self-Verifying? A 2-Minute Check-In if You’re Self-Sabotaging When Things are Good: https://abbymedcalf.com/self-sabotage
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398. Why Your Conversations Keep Going in Circles (And the 2-Step Fix)
Saison 9 · Épisode 398
lundi 14 septembre 2026 • Durée 38:38
You’re stuck in an argument. Maybe it’s the same fight you have every few weeks. Maybe it’s a standoff where nobody budges. Maybe someone goes quiet and passive-aggressive instead of saying what’s wrong. All three have the same root cause. You’re arguing the facts, and no one’s talking about what’s happening underneath the words. Whatever’s happening emotionally is what’s keeping the conversation stuck. You’re arguing the facts, hoping that’ll help, but it doesn’t because you’re focusing on the wrong thing. We connect through feelings, not thoughts, and until someone names the feelings, the facts just keep circling. Today I’m giving you my two-step process to shift this dynamic, so you can start connecting instead of going around in circles.
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397. Whose Voice Is Your Inner Critic, Really?
Saison 9 · Épisode 397
lundi 7 septembre 2026 • Durée 45:19
Your inner critic isn't really your voice. Research says that voice almost always started out as someone else's, usually a parent or caregiver from way back. The problem is you've been repeating it in your own head for so long you forgot it was someone else's way of thinking and not your own. It's time to choose what you say to yourself, so today I'm going to help you figure out who you are underneath that voice and my two-step process for getting it to stop running the show.
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396. The Mental Load: Why Helping Doesn’t Help
Saison 9 · Épisode 396
lundi 31 août 2026 • Durée 46:33
You’re supposed to be sleeping, but what you’re doing is lying there in the dark thinking about all the things. Why did I say that stupid thing in the meeting today? Is that chicken still good or does it have to get cooked tomorrow? Did the permission slip get signed for the field trip? And crap, I forgot to call mom back!
That’s the mental load, and it’s why you’re so tired. This isn’t about better sleep or having more downtime. It’s about the things you don’t realize you’re carrying. Today you’re going to learn what mental load really is, why it doesn’t get one bit lighter when somebody offers to help, and five things you can do about it.
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395. Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child or Mascot: Which One Were You?
Saison 9 · Épisode 395
lundi 24 août 2026 • Durée 48:36
Which family role were you given? Dr. Abby Medcalf on the hero, scapegoat, lost child and mascot, what the research shows, and how to stop playing yours.
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394. Why You’re Nicer to Strangers Than to the People You Love
lundi 17 août 2026 • Durée 28:03
You were perfectly nice to the guy at the coffee counter this morning, and you were patient with the coworker who asked you the same question for the third time, and then you walked through your own front door and said something to the person you love most that you would never in a million years have said to either of those strangers. So, if you’ve ever thought, why am I so mean to the people I love, today’s episode is for you.
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393. You Can Become Securely Attached (Even If You Didn’t Start Out That Way)
Saison 9 · Épisode 393
lundi 10 août 2026 • Durée 43:53
You've taken the quiz and you've read the books, so you know your attachment style. But last night your partner said, "We need to talk," and your whole body went off like a car alarm. That anxiety or panic is an insecure attachment style doing its thing. So, the real question is: can you actually change it? And the real answer is yes, you can. It's called earned secure attachment; it's real, and researchers have been studying it for decades.
Today you'll learn what earned secure attachment really is, the three things earned secure attachment is not, and the five tools to start building it this week.
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Full blog and show note: https://abbymedcalf.com/earned-secure-attachment
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