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You Make Sense

You Make Sense

Sarah Baldwin

Health & Fitness
Society & Culture
Education

Frequency: 1 episode/7d. Total Eps: 89

Simplecast
You Make Sense is a manual to understanding your human experience, so that you can navigate the world with freedom, ease, and empowerment. Using the latest neuroscience and trauma research, this podcast will equip you with powerful somatic tools to help you get unstuck and create the life you desire. Sarah Baldwin, SEP, is an expert in trauma resolution, attachment, parts work, and nervous system regulation. But before she was a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner and trained in Polyvagal interventions, she first came to this work as someone struggling to find relief. It was through her own healing that led her to become a trained professional, now helping thousands of people across her programs, courses, and classes to do the same.
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How Your Nervous System Creates Your Entire Experience

Episode 1

mardi 24 septembre 2024Duration 01:08:41

In this first episode, Sarah dives deep into the foundation of all healing: nervous system regulation. She explains how your Autonomic Nervous System creates every sensation, feeling, and behavior you've ever experienced, from anxiety, worry, and depression to joy, presence, and flow, and how it influences your ability to connect with others and pursue your life’s purpose. By harnessing the power of your nervous system, you can begin to get unstuck and step toward your desires.

Sarah shares her own personal journey, having lived through chronic dysregulation and its associated struggles—panic attacks, depression, and even chronic illness. Through years of training and somatic healing work, she has not only transformed her life but also helped thousands do the same. 

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:16 The Foundation of All Healing

05:06 The Nervous System

06:40 Dysregulation and Stuckness

09:53 The Limitations of Talk Therapy

13:59 The Vehicle of Your Life

17:50 Autonomic Nervous System

22:18 You Are Not Broken

23:21 Dysregulation

25:09 Reasons Why We Become Dysregulated

29:01 The Special Ops Team

33:24 How the Threat Detector Works

38:39 Befriending Your Nervous System

41:24 Similarities in Human Experiences

43:40 How to Deal with Your Emotions

46:58 The Language of the Autonomic Nervous System

53:32 Confusion

01:00:16 Attachment Theory and Relationships

Free Workbook:
Want to learn more about your nervous system? Grab a FREE copy of Sarah’s trauma-informed workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel.”

This downloadable PDF will equip you with somatic tools to get into the driver’s seat of your experience so that you can step toward a life filled with more freedom and ease.

Click here to download your copy:
https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Understanding Why You’re Stuck: Using Polyvagal Theory to Unlock the Life You Desire

Episode 2

mardi 1 octobre 2024Duration 01:13:23

In this episode, Sarah takes you through the different states in your Autonomic Nervous System, likening it to a special ops team constantly working to protect you. She explains how, through a process called neuroception, the system is constantly monitoring for internal and external threats. Sarah then delves into the three states of dysregulation—Sympathetic, Dorsal, and Freeze—and how each state has brilliantly adapted to protect you, as well as your primary state of regulation—Ventral—which is where we experience much of the “good” in life.

You’ll also go through practical steps to begin creating a “toolbox for regulation” and learn about the importance of consistently engaging in neural exercises, which is the key to rewiring the nervous system and improving your overall quality of life. Whether you're dealing with anxiety, depression, or everyday stress, this episode is filled with actionable tools to help you get into the driver’s seat of your experience and gain control over how you feel.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:33 Neuroception - The Threat Detector

04:33 3 States of Dysregulation

11:46 Long-Term Dysregulation

13:21 Mirror Neurons - Nervous Systems Affect Each Other

15:58 #1: Sympathetic: Your Mobilized State of Fight/Flight

20:50 #2: Dorsal: Your Immobilized State of Shutdown

29:24 #3: Freeze: Your Blended State of Tonic Immobility

36:38 Ventral: Your Primary State of Regulation

40:51 Vagal Tone

46:35 The Connection Between Your Nervous System and Sleep

56:30 Your Pace is Exactly Right

01:04:10 Healing Shame 

Free Workbook:
Want to learn more about your nervous system? Grab a FREE copy of Sarah’s trauma-informed workbook, “How to Gain Control Over How You Feel.”

This downloadable PDF will equip you with somatic tools to get into the driver’s seat of your experience so that you can step toward a life filled with more freedom and ease.

Click here to download your copy:
https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

  • Autonomic Nervous System: The self-protective system within the body that is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, sensations, behaviors, and perception of self, others, and the world around us, as well as regulating involuntary functions, such as your heart rate and digestion, and playing a central role in how you react to stress or calm.
  • Neuroception: This is your threat detector, which looks out to the world (and within) to decide whether you are in safety, danger, or life-threatening danger. It does this by resourcing an internal database that holds all your past lived experiences.
  • Sympathetic Nervous System: This is your self-protective state of mobilization or fight/flight. This state is all about the “doing” and can be experienced as: anxiety, stress, worry, fear, terror, rage, agitation, frustration, or panic.
  • Dorsal Vagal Complex: This is your self-protective state of immobilization or shut down. This state is all about leaving our bodies and can be experienced as: depression, hopelessness, apathy, disinterest, disconnection, a general sense of “blah,” or dissociation.
  • Freeze: This is your self-protective blended state of tonic immobility, which is made up of equal parts Sympathetic and Dorsal. These equal and opposite forces come together to render us stuck and can be experienced as: feeling trapped, urgency met with the inability to take action, or a lot of energy in our bodies we can’t do anything about.
  • Ventral Vagal Complex: This is your primary state of regulation, which can be experienced as: connection, joy, ease, flow, relaxation, rest, or aliveness.

The Roadmap to Somatic Healing: Using Science to Heal in a Way That Works

Episode 3

mardi 8 octobre 2024Duration 01:05:49

Did you know there is an order to which we heal? When we use the right tools, in the right order, our systems respond and it expedites our healing. Sarah will guide you through the somatic roadmap necessary to facilitate deep, lasting change, using somatic modalities that speak directly to your nervous system. 

Discover how Polyvagal Theory, Attachment Theory, Parts Work, and more are all connected and play a crucial role in our healing. Whether you're just starting or well into your healing journey, this episode offers invaluable tools to help you cultivate the life you desire.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

05:01 The Roadmap for Holistic Healing

06:04 Phase #1: Nervous System Regulation

09:47 Phase #2: Somatic Attachment Theory

11:28 Phase #3: Parts Work (IFS)

18:51 Phase #4: Using Your Truth to Set Boundaries

21:57 Phase #5: Thoughts from a Somatic Vantage Point

24:07 Phase #6: Purpose and Manifestation

30:19 Q&A with Rachel Andrews

33:08 What to Do if A Younger Parts Reject Our Support

42:19 Anger Is Not a Bad Emotion

44:23 How Does Secondary Trauma Happen?

57:01 How Can I Tell if Someone Wants to Be a Genuine Friend or Has Hidden Motives?

1:03:37 How Manifestation Really Happens

Join Expansion:

Feeling stuck or stagnant? Join Sarah inside Expansion for 3 days of live support and science-backed tools. You’ll learn how to harness the power of your nervous system to take tangible steps toward the life you're desiring.

The first call starts on October 14th. Replays available through November 7.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-ee

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

  • Holistic Healing: A comprehensive approach to healing that addresses physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects to achieve overall well-being.
  • Somatic Healing Roadmap: The necessary approach that requires specific actions to be taken in a particular sequence for the best results in healing.
  • Nervous System Regulation: The process of calming and reshaping the nervous system to maintain a state of emotional and physical stability.
  • Trauma: Any overwhelming experience that exceeds an individual’s ability to cope and process what’s occurring, often resulting in long-term emotional and psychological effects.
  • Parts Work: A therapeutic approach that involves identifying and working with different aspects or "parts" of oneself, often representing different ages, experiences, or emotions.
  • Attachment: The way individuals connect and form relationships with others, which is influenced by early childhood experiences and affects how they relate to others throughout life.
  • Somatic Boundaries: Physical and energetic boundaries that protect one’s personal space, ensuring a sense of safety and autonomy in interactions with others.
  • Manifestation: The process of bringing one's desires or goals into reality by aligning thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, often requiring inner healing work.
  • Mirror Neurons: Specialized neurons that allow individuals to feel and experience what others are feeling, playing a key role in empathy and connection.
  • Polyvagal Theory: A theory that explains how the nervous system affects emotions, behavior, and social connections, emphasizing the role of the vagus nerve in regulating responses to stress and safety.

Resolving Trauma to Step Into the Life Meant for You

Episode 4

mardi 15 octobre 2024Duration 01:12:59

In this episode, Sarah explains how trauma is something we all experience to varying degrees and the impact it has on our lives. When we have yet to resolve past trauma, it actually gets stuck and stored in our bodies, meaning our system essentially thinks it is still happening or could happen again at any moment. For many of us, this unresolved trauma is what keeps us stuck in chronic dysregulation and unable to step toward the life we’re wanting.

Sarah is going to guide you through the latest neuroscience and trauma research in a way that’s easy to understand and applicable to our everyday lives. You’ll learn how we can teach our bodies to regulate again and gently begin releasing that stuck energy, so that you can heal in a way that lasts.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:48 What Causes Trauma?

06:25 Unprocessed Trauma Gets Stuck and Stored

08:01 Overcoupling or Over-Association

09:28 Undercoupling or Disconnection

11:33 What You Need to Understand About Trauma

17:04 Not All Clinicians and Therapists are Trauma Trained

20:53 Trauma Isn’t the Only Reason for Chronic Dysregulation

22:23 How Do You Facilitate Regulation in Your Life?

26:51 The Pendulation Process

32:10 Healing My Own Trauma

35:24 The Titration Process

38:27 The Eye of the Needle Work

42:33 Trauma Work is Complex

45:06 Do You Have to Resolve All Trauma?

54:01 The Starting Off Point in Life Isn’t Equal

56:32 There’s No Blueprint for Parenting

01:03:37 Internal Co-Regulation

01:08:52 The Desires of Our Soul Are Meant for Us

Take Sarah’s Free Quiz:

Want to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?” for a personalized guide with in-depth somatic tools to help you regulate your nervous system. 

Click here to get started:

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

  • Trauma: Not about the event itself but how an experience overwhelms our system's capacity to process what’s happening.
  • Regulation: Our state of safety, presence, and connection.
  • Attunement: Connecting with someone on an autonomic level, not just through words, to provide empathetic support.
  • Pendulation: The process of moving between dysregulation and regulation, helping the body to naturally discharge traumatic energy.
  • Titration: Taking small amounts of activation (traumatic energy) and supporting it to leave the body without overwhelming the nervous system.
  • Discharging Activation: The process of letting the traumatic energy leave the body, often through physical movement, such as shaking.
  • Healing: Resolving trauma by re-teaching the nervous system to process and release stored energy, allowing the past to truly be in the past.

How To Regulate Your Nervous System

Episode 5

mardi 22 octobre 2024Duration 56:20

Ready to start feeling better every day? Sarah is going to teach you the practical steps to regulating your nervous system, so that you can gain control over your experience and navigate life with more ease. Whether you’re feeling anxious, stuck, or overwhelmed, this science-backed process can help you make real, lasting change and improve your health, relationships, and overall sense of wellbeing.

This is not just a “magic pill” that works for some people. Everything in this episode is backed by the latest neuroscience and trauma research; engaging in consistent neural exercises is the key to reshaping your nervous system and spending more of your time in regulation (where we experience much of the “good” in life).

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

01:01 The Benefits of Regulating Your Nervous System

04:35 You Can Reshape Your Nervous System

09:43 Regulating Resources Versus Coping Strategies

15:52 How to Create a Regulating Toolbox

19:23 Tool: Setting Reminders in Your Phone For Regulation

25:53 The Power of Befriending Your Nervous System

29:48 The Expand/Contract Process 

32:28 How to Create Safe Connection

40:29 What are Energy Wells?

48:34 How Chronic Dysregulation Leads to Chronic Illness

Work With Sarah:

Want to go deeper into this work? Join a waitlist for one of Sarah’s programs to get limited-time reduced pricing and early access to enrollment. Click below to explore upcoming programs.

Navigating Your Nervous System: https://bit.ly/sp-nyns-waitlist

You Make Sense: https://bit.ly/sp-yms-waitlist

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Important Keywords:

  • Nervous System Regulation: The process of managing the body's stress response and guiding your self-protective system to experiencing and noticing safety in order to resolve trauma, promote balance and wellbeing, and help you navigate challenges with greater ease.
  • Coping Strategy: Temporary methods people use to cover up or numb underlying activation (dysregulation).
  • Regulating Resource: Tools or activities that actually discharge or get rid of activation in the body (rather than covering up), helping to bring our system back into safety, rest, and regulation.
  • Freeze: The blended state of tonic immobility, made up of equal parts mobilizing Sympathetic energy and immobilizing Dorsal energy, leading to feelings of being stuck or trapped.
  • Trauma Resolution: The process of healing from past trauma by addressing and releasing the stored emotional and incomplete physical responses from the body.
  • Embodiment: The practice of being fully present in and connected to your body and the sensations and feelings present within it, which is crucial for nervous system regulation and emotional healing.

Why We Choose the Partners We Choose

Episode 7

mardi 5 novembre 2024Duration 41:44

Ever wonder why you keep choosing the same kind of partners? Sarah breaks it all down in this episode. She’s going to teach you how your nervous system is the one doing the matchmaking, drawing on your early childhood experiences to inform the way you show up in your adult relationships. Whether it’s romantic partnerships, friendships, or work dynamics, you’ll learn how to begin changing old patterns that no longer serve you.

Many of us choose our partners out of a need for survival rather than from a place of choice. Sarah will give you powerful somatic tools to begin creating a new internal baseline for what love is, so that you can transform your relationships and step toward the secure attachments you’re desiring.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:17 Why We Choose the Partners that We Choose

03:30 Your Early Childhood Experiences Lay the Blueprint

07:30 The Threat Detector Picks Up On Subtle Cues

10:16 Love From Choice or Love From Survival?

14:39 Healthy Love Isn’t Infatuation

19:21 Creating an Internal Secure Attachment

21:25 Our Reactions Always Match Some Circumstance

27:29 Developing the Ability for Self-Regulation

31:43 We Can be a Combination of Different Attachment Styles

37:00 Building Connection When Feeling Isolated

Take Sarah’s FREE Quiz:

Ready to learn more about your nervous system specific to you? Take Sarah’s free quiz, “What’s Keeping You Stuck?”, for personalized tools to regulate your nervous system and step toward the life you’re desiring. Get started below.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-quiz

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Important Keywords:

  • Autonomic Nervous System - The body’s internal network that controls responses to stimuli and regulates our experiences of safety, fear, and connection. In the context of relationships, it drives automatic reactions based on past experiences stored in our internal "database."
  • Neuroception - A subconscious process through which the nervous system detects safety or threats in our environment. It plays a key role in determining who we are drawn to in relationships, often based on past relational patterns.
  • Attachment - Refers to the emotional bond we form with others, shaped by early relationships, particularly with caregivers. Our attachment style influences how we relate to others.
  • Parts Work - A therapeutic process focused on identifying and healing the different "parts" of ourselves that were wounded in the past. It helps us reparent those parts and create internal safety, allowing us to make healthier relationship choices.
  • Internal Safety - The feeling of security and stability that comes from within, rather than from external validation or relationships. Cultivating internal safety helps reduce anxiety and allows for more balanced, healthy relationships.
  • Healing Work - The ongoing process of addressing past traumas and emotional wounds to create lasting change in our relational patterns and lives.
  • Relationship Patterns - Recurring behaviors and dynamics that emerge in our relationships, often based on unresolved past experiences. Recognizing and changing these patterns is key to fostering healthier connections.

Understanding Your Relationships: The Connection Between Attachment Theory & Polyvagal Theory

Episode 6

mardi 29 octobre 2024Duration 01:07:31

Ready to take a deep dive into understanding your relationships? Sarah breaks down the connection between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory, explaining how your autonomic nervous system shapes the way you show up in your romantic partnerships, friendships, family, job, finances, and more. Healing attachment wounds isn’t something you can simply “talk” your way into—it must be addressed somatically at the nervous system level.

Through relatable examples, you’ll learn about the different attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how each one is a brilliant, adaptive response to our early childhood experiences. Whether you're stuck in difficult patterns or seeking a deeper understanding of your relationships, this episode is packed with actionable tools to guide you toward an earned secure attachment and healthier, more meaningful connections.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:15 The Connection Between Polyvagal Theory and Attachment Theory

03:53 The Origin of How We Relate to Others

09:44 Anxious Attachment Style

19:58 Avoidant Attachment Style

25:58 Disorganized Attachment Style

31:08 Secure Attachment Style

38:47 What Attachment Style Does the Flight Response Connect To?

44:19 How Do Somatic Practices Help in Healing Attachment Wounds?

49:03 Some Things Can Only Be Healed in a Relational Dynamic

56:04 Growing Up with Narcissistic Family Members

01:02:43 The Process of Healthy Aggression 

Download Sarah’s FREE Workbook:

Looking for tools to help you start feeling better? Download Sarah’s free workbook, “How To Gain Control Over How You Feel,” to learn more about trauma’s role in keeping you stuck and how to begin healing at the nervous system level.

Click here to download your copy:

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Important Keywords:

  • Polyvagal Theory - A scientific theory coined by Stephen Porges that explains how the autonomic nervous system controls our reactions to stress and connection.
  • Attachment Theory - A psychological model that explains how early relationships with caregivers shape our ability to form healthy emotional bonds.
  • Nervous System Regulation - The process of calming or balancing the nervous system to achieve emotional and physical stability. This is crucial for managing stress and maintaining healthy relationships.
  • Anxious Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we feel safer when others are close and less safe when we’re alone.
  • Avoidant Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where connection or closeness may feel overwhelming, even though a part of us deeply desires connection.
  • Disorganized Attachment Style - An “insecure” or adaptive attachment style where we may want people close, but when they are close, we will reflexively push them away and then desire closeness again.
  • Somatics - Therapeutic tools used to address emotional struggles and trauma by healing it in the body, aiming to restore balance to the nervous system.

Parts Work: How Different Parts of Us Show Up in Our Lives

Episode 8

mardi 12 novembre 2024Duration 01:11:27

Although we may look our numeric age on the outside, we actually have many different parts or versions of ourselves within us. Using somatic Parts Work, also known as IFS or inner child healing, Sarah is going to show you how these different parts can inhabit our experience to influence the way we show up in our daily lives.

When we come to the aid of these younger parts and give them the love, safety, attunement, and protection they didn’t receive in the past, it creates what Sarah calls internal co-regulation, so that we can begin spending more time moving through the world as our confident, capable adult self.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:23 What is Parts Work?

04:37 Holistic Healing is Like a Web

09:35 Each Part Has a Different Autonomic Tone

16:17 Vulnerable Parts and Protective Parts

22:44 Real Life Examples of Parts Show Up in Our Lives

28:21 The Difference Between Young Parts and Adult Self

33:34 How Do We Bring Together Fragmented Parts?

37:20 All Parts of You Make Sense

39:49 Focus on the Loudest Part First

43:11 How to Deal with Multiple Parts Without Feeling Overwhelmed

49:41 Two Ways to Create Internal Safety

01:00:12 A Common Misconception About Real Love

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

  • Parts Work - The therapeutic practice of differentiating from and coming to the aid of the younger parts of ourselves that fragment off of us and develop when we’ve experienced a trauma or overwhelm in the past. Under the umbrella of Parts Work, Internal Family Systems is the most well-known modality.
  • Younger Part - This is any part that is younger than what our current numeric age is now. It can be a vulnerable part or a protective part.
  • Most Vulnerable Part - This is a younger part that experienced a trauma or overwhelming event(s) where they were left helpless, unsupported and unsafe and remain stuck in the perpetual pain of that experience.
  • Protective Part - This is often a younger part of us that developed in order to protect the most vulnerable parts from that pain, and might look like being “the do-er,” perfectionism, procrastination, etc.
  • Nervous System Regulation - The process of managing the body's stress response and guiding your self-protective system to internal safety, which helps to resolve trauma, promote balance and wellbeing, and navigate life’s challenges with greater ease.
  • Regulating Resource: Tools or activities that discharge or get rid of activation in the body, helping to bring our system back into safety, rest, and regulation.
  • Trauma Resolution: The process of healing from past trauma by addressing and releasing trapped energy and incomplete physical responses from the body.
  • Embodiment: The practice of being fully present in and connected to your body and the sensations and feelings present within it, which is crucial for nervous system regulation and emotional healing.

How to Tangibly Step Toward Your Purpose

Episode 10

mardi 19 novembre 2024Duration 49:14

Ever feel like stepping into a bigger life is tougher than it should be? In this episode, Sarah breaks down why we get stuck in old patterns and how our nervous system shapes the life we’re currently living. You’ll learn why even good changes—like deeper relationships or exciting career moves—can feel overwhelming or lead to self-sabotage. 

Using science-backed concepts and tools, Sarah will teach you how to practically build your nervous system’s capacity to hold the life you’re really wanting. By taking small, tolerable steps and working at the rate of your most apprehensive part, it’s possible to work with your nervous system to move toward a life full of connection and joy.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:32 Living the Bigger Life

06:19 The Process of Building Our Capacity

13:42 Our Purpose Often Leads to Our Healing

17:39 What Lights You Up?

19:36 How to Begin Working with Your Nervous System

23:38 We Must Embody Where We Are Going

28:05 One Tolerable Step at a Time

30:49 There’s Always Room to Expand and Grow

36:45 What to do When Good Opportunities Overwhelm Us

41:29 Tangible Steps Toward Being Seen

Grab Sarah’s FREE Workbook:

Ready to gain control over your life? Click below to download Sarah’s free trauma-informed workbook. This in-depth guide will help you to harness the power of your nervous system and unlock your desires.

https://bit.ly/yms-sp-workbook

Connect with Sarah on:

Email Community - https://bit.ly/yms-sp-newsletter

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/sarahbcoaching/

Website - https://www.sarahbaldwincoaching.com/

Submit a Question: https://sarahbaldwin1.typeform.com/podcast

Important Keywords:

  • “Self-Sabotage” - This term can often feel shaming, but it is simply the nervous system’s way of protecting us from what it doesn’t yet know is safe by pushing away or leaving things we might actually deeply desire.
  • Building Capacity - The gradual process of training the nervous system to hold more of the “good” in life and tolerate changes or stressors without triggering overwhelm. This is done by gently stepping toward new, safe experiences of what was once dangerous or inhibited in the past (like: being seen, taking up space, making mistakes, etc.).
  • Nervous System Regulation - Techniques and strategies used to calm and stabilize the nervous system. Regulation helps move the body out of a fight/flight, freeze, or shut down responses and into a balanced state of presence and connection.
  • “The Invisible Wall” - A term coined by Sarah used to describe what it feels like when we try to step toward what we’re wanting but are met with resistance and dysregulation within our nervous system.
  • Parts Work - This approach seeks to integrate the fragmented younger parts of ourselves by coming to their aid and giving them love, safety, attunement, and connection. Under the umbrella of Parts Work, Internal Family Systems is the most well-known modality.
  • Tolerable Steps - Small, bite-sized actions taken to gradually introduce new experiences and reduce the nervous system's stress response. These steps are essential for building internal safety and making sustainable progress toward larger goals.

Family Systems and the Roles We Play

Episode 11

mardi 26 novembre 2024Duration 01:00:03

This episode uncovers the hidden roles we carry in relationships—roles that often date back to our earliest experiences and shape how we connect with others. From being the “caretaker” to the “perfectionist,” these familiar patterns tend to influence our choices and interactions long after childhood, even if that role no longer serves us.

With tools grounded in neuroscience and practical guidance, this conversation dives into what it takes to rewrite those outdated scripts. Listeners will learn simple steps to heal the past, break free from conditioned reactions, and start building relationships that align with who they truly are. It’s absolutely possible to embody a new role and make room for the connections that genuinely feel right.

Episode Highlights

00:00 Intro

00:33 Why Do We Play the Roles We Play?

02:19 Family Systems & the Origin of Our Roles

07:13 Secure Attachment & Healthy Family Plays

10:19 Many of Us Did Not Have a Healthy Family System

13:57 Choosing Partners & “Compatability” 

17:21 Healing Allows us to Write a New Role

21:45 The Bumpy Road of Healing

27:59 “How Can You Get Comfortable in Receiving When You’re a Giver?”

39:06 Being of Service vs. Being of Sacrifice

46:44 Why We Disconnect from Our Emotions

54:16 “How Do You Forgive?”

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Important Keywords:

  • Nervous System - The nervous system is central to understanding our emotional and relational patterns. It holds the embodied experience of past memories and influences how we respond to others, shaping the roles we play in our lives.
  • Roles - The patterns we adopt in relationships, often influenced by early family dynamics. Common roles include caretaker, perfectionist, scapegoat, and the helpless one, which define how we interact with others. Changing these roles allows us to step out of limiting patterns and embrace more fulfilling connections.
  • Family System - The family system is the foundation of our relational blueprint. It establishes our initial roles and influences how we navigate social dynamics, often carrying over into adult relationships.
  • Attachment - Attachment refers to the emotional bonds formed with primary caregivers, impacting how we relate to others. Secure attachment fosters healthier relationships, while insecure attachment can lead to self-protective behaviors and dynamics. Healing attachment wounds enables us to build stable, supportive connections.
  • Healing - Healing is the process of releasing old roles and expanding the nervous system’s capacity for change. It involves recognizing and shedding survival patterns and replacing them with practices that honor our true selves. Healing is an empowering journey toward self-discovery and authentic relationships.
  • Patterns - Patterns are recurring behaviors that shape how we interact with others. These automatic responses often stem from unresolved past experiences and can hold us back. Using a somatic approach to transform these patterns is key to stepping into new roles and fostering growth.

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