You Love & You Learn Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

This week, I'm joined by Tori Lutz, a spinal energetics practitioner and a transformational mindset & somatic coach who spent two decades in talk therapy before discovering that healing her anxiety required getting out of her head and into her body.

We talk about why so many of us get stuck intellectualizing our experiences, what it actually means to "feel it to heal it," and the difference between identifying as an anxious person versus simply having moments of anxiety (a shift that has been completely transformative for both of us).

This conversation is for anyone who has ever felt like they *know* all the things but nothing is actually changing - and is ready to explore a different way in 🤍

Mentioned in the episode: 

• Follow Tori on Instagram

• Tori’s Website

Additional resources:

• FREE Resource: Breathwork Basics

• Sign up for Private Coaching & Breathwork Package

• Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here

• Visit my website

• Connect with me on Instagram
  

Welcome back!!! 💓 It feels really meaningful to be here again after taking some time away.

In this episode, I’m sharing a bit of a life and identity update: what’s been shifting for me over the past year, why I stepped away from the podcast for a period of time, and the honest answer to a question I’ve been getting a lot lately:

Do I still experience relationship anxiety?

The answer surprised me… and it might surprise you too.

In this conversation, I open up about what it actually looks like for me to still have moments of anxiety, while no longer identifying as someone who has relationship anxiety. I talk about the difference between experiencing anxious thoughts and being defined by them, and how my relationship to those moments has completely changed over time.

Additional resources:

• Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here

• Sign up for private coaching

• Visit my website

• Connect with me on Instagram
  

In this episode, I’m joined by Clinical Life Coach & Consultant and former therapist Mollie Birney to discuss the role identity plays in all aspects of our lives. We talk about why letting go of the labels we put on ourselves is often the scariest (and most freeing) thing we can do. Molly shares her personal journey from licensed therapist to coach, the concept of “freedom work,” and how we can stop trying to fix ourselves and instead be in relationship with the parts of us we’ve tried to avoid.

Mentioned in the episode: 

Mollie’s Website

Get The Freedom Coursebook

Connect with Mollie on Instagram

Additional resources:

• Get the Relationship Anxiety Toolkit here! (instant + lifetime access)
• Join the You Love and You Learn Patreon community 
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

Transitions and change can bring up a lot of emotion. Whether it’s moving in together, getting engaged, moving to a new city (or country), or changing jobs…there are stages we go through in times of transition.

In this episode, I sat down with Ela Topcuoglu, a transformational Life Coach who works with people to make the most of life transitions by helping them become more aware of the psychological, emotional, and spiritual aspects of those changes.

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Check out more of Ela’s work here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elavatecoaching/

Life Transition Quiz: https://www.tryinteract.com/share/quiz/6426bf1ef9c520001499a365

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

“Is it relationship anxiety…or are we incompatible?” is the #1 question I am asked as a relationship anxiety coach.

In this episode, I share 2 frameworks to consider when answering this question, why answering this question can be so challenging, and important reminders to keep in mind if this question brings up a lot of fear for you.

To explore this topic further:

Check out the “is it anxiety or incompatibility?” webinar + Q&A replay. Get it here for $27.

Or, apply for private coaching here.

Here is the Mel Robbins Dr. Spirit clip referenced in the podcast

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

Relationship anxiety has so many parallels with what it means to be human.

It’s an invitation to lean into uncertainty, discomfort, and change.

It’s an invitation to build more self-trust, acceptance, and contentment (peaceful happiness).

It’s an invitation to practice releasing expectations, taking responsibility, and explore our values.

All of these are not only part of relationship, but part of LIFE, and that’s what I explore in this week’s episode.

I have a few private coaching spots open to begin in August + September:

Apply for private coaching here.

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

Have you ever judged your partner for making small mistakes like leaving their towel on the floor, or not doing something the way you asked? It doesn’t feel great (I’ve been there, too). In today’s episode, I sat down with Ivy Miller, a certified Mindset & Relationship Coach, to discuss:

• why we don’t tolerate mistakes in others
• how nitpicking small mistakes can affect our relationships
• the antidote to criticism and nitpicking 
• how to build a more loving relationship with ourselves
• how to feel our feelings

…and more.

Check out more of Ivy’s work here:

Website: https://www.ivymiller.coach/

Group Coaching Waitlist: https://ivyannemiller.mykajabi.com/loving-leaders-waitlist

Instagram and TikTok Accounts: @ivyannemiller

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

Is it wrong to find someone else besides your partner attractive? In today’s episode, I explore:

• the impacts of religion and romanticism on the message of “only having eyes for our partner”
• the shame and guilt that can come up from finding someone else attractive
• my new beliefs on attraction that feel helpful, not anxiety inducing
• an exercise you can do after the episode to help you determine if your beliefs on attraction are helpful…or not

I have 2 private coaching spots opening up to begin in August or September…here is the link for more information and to apply.

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

Have you ever nitpicked your partner’s physical appearance and felt so guilty for it? You are NOT ALONE! In this episode I address a community-submitted topic: hyper-fixation on “small, superficial, or physical traits about my partner, like teeth, hair, posture, or mannerisms.”

Hyper-focus on our partner’s physical appearance can cause us to feel shame, so I discuss how to shift out of the shame and into more self-compassion.

I also address the question of “if they were exactly the person they are right now, but looked different or to my ideal standard, then would all the questions around it go away?”

DM me @youloveandyoulearn on Instagram with your takeaways!

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram

In this episode, I sat down with Dr. Russell Kennedy, author of award-winning book Anxiety Rx. We talk about how our emotional wounding (which he calls alarm) affects anxiety and what to do about it. We cover:

• the difference between anxiety of the mind and alarm of the body
• where our anxiety and alarm stems from
• if you need to know what’s happened in your past in order to manage anxiety and alarm
• what anxiety is distracting us from doing and how to change this pattern
• how to show up for yourself before, during, and after triggering moments

Check out more of Dr. Kennedy’s work here:

Website + Instagram

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Additional resources:

• Join Deconstruct the Doubts digital course here (instant + lifetime access)
• Click here to join the waitlist for the next cohort of Beyond the Doubts group coaching
• Download the free video training: The Single Most Important Lesson in Healing Relationship Anxiety
• Visit my website
• Connect with me on Instagram