When the Fuck Did I Become Old? is the no-holds-barred podcast for everyone over 55 who is done being invisible. Co-hosted by Jo Parker and her partner Kev Stockbridge, this is real talk about ageing from 55 onwards. With humour, honesty and a healthy dose of profanity, Jo and Kev tackle everything from hot flushes and shit sleep to grief, reinvention, sex after 55 and dating in later life. Plus menopause, loneliness, retirement, mental health and the art of staying visible when society wants you to disappear.
If you’re over 55 and feel like life is shifting fast physically, emotionally, financially and nobody’s talking about it properly, this is your podcast. Each episode blends Jo and Kev’s raw reflections with unfiltered conversations from guests who have lived a little (and learned a lot).
Jo and Kev’s mission? To break the silence around ageing, smash the stereotypes and make getting older something we can laugh at, cry through and fully own….together.
It’s ageing, without the airbrushing
Season 1 - The Journney Begins...
Season 2 - The Search for a Co-Host
Season 3 - A new Co-Host; my partner Kev Stockbridge
Subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
Why Everything in Your Wardrobe Is Ageing You (And How to Fix It After 50)
Friday, May 29, 2026 • Duration 39:29
We sit down with personal stylist Emma Davison to tackle one of midlife's most overlooked confidence boosters: knowing how to dress for the body and skin tone you have now, not the one you had 20 years ago. Emma brings refreshingly honest advice on colour, capsule wardrobes, wardrobe edits and why getting dressed in the morning doesn't have to feel like a crisis.
Key Takeaways
Black isn't always your friend. As skin softens with age, black absorbs light and creates shadows around the face, accelerating the appearance of aging. Navy blue is the universal alternative that works for virtually everyone.
Know your undertone. The key question is whether your skin tone is warm or cool, which determines whether you reach for ivory or pure white, olive green or teal, warm reds or cool blues.
A capsule wardrobe is simpler than you think. Aim for 25 to 40 core pieces built around 4 to 5 investment colours that all work together, then layer in statement pieces on top.
About 70% of most people's wardrobes go unworn. A wardrobe edit cuts the noise, reveals what you actually have, and often generates more outfits from fewer pieces.
Smart casual is where people struggle most. Most people can do formal and casual, but the middle ground is where a stylist adds the most value.
Fit and fabric matter more than trends. As men age cut and quality of fabric become the priority. A well-tailored classic piece will outlast any trend.
Clothes are a confidence tool, not a vanity project. Particularly through menopause and major life transitions, what you wear directly affects how you carry yourself and how others respond to you.
Start with the basics, literally. Underwear, bra fit and t-shirt weight are the foundation everything else is built on.
Timestamps
00:11 Introduction and why we all love black
02:32 The ageing effect of black and why navy wins
04:47 How knowing your colours shortcuts the shopping experience
07:09 Starting a wardrobe edit: body shape, underwear, and investment pieces
09:29 Kevin's colours, warm vs cool skin tones, and the role of hair colour
11:54 Jo's colour palette and why navy is the most versatile neutral
13:30 How clothes transform confidence, especially post-menopause
16:35 Dressing your age vs dressing for your body now
18:29 Common mistakes men make and where style tends to slip
20:49 Smart casual as the trickiest category and how to nail it
23:10 How a wardrobe edit actually works, start to finish
27:47 The emotional weight of clothes and how Emma handles it
32:19 The ripple effect of a style transformation on those around you
33:30 How many pieces make a capsule wardrobe
34:45 Go-to high street brands for men and women
37:09 Why shopping in person still matters and where to find Emma
Mental Health Awareness Week - WTF Does That Have To Do With Snowboarding & Motorbikes?
Thursday, May 21, 2026 • Duration 29:01
We mark Mental Health Awareness Week (11–17 May, UK) by sharing our own very on-brand actions: a black-tie charity ball in London, donations to two youth mental health charities, and a group ride with near-strangers for the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride in Guildford. Along the way we get honest about male friendship, vulnerability, and why it's weirdly hard to make mates in your 50s and 60s. We close out with the Mental Health Foundation's Top 10 practical tips and score ourselves on how many we're actually doing.
Key Takeaways
Activity creates connection; men in particular open up when united around something physical
Making friends as an older adult is awkward, and that's normal; push through it anyway
The Top 10 aren't a checklist; pick what works for you, and use them to support others too
Shared experience > proximity; it's not having friends, it's actually spending time with them
Timestamps
00:09 — Welcome & intro: Mental Health Awareness Week 2025 theme is Action
00:45 — The charity ball: Stop Breathe Think; free, instant counselling for under-21s who can't afford it
02:10 — Snow Camp: using skiing & snowboarding to build life skills and support young people's mental health
02:36 — What is the Distinguished Gentleman's Ride? Retro bikes, vintage threads, raising funds for prostate cancer research and men's mental health (Movember)
04:53 — The Guildford ride by numbers: 1,392 riders, ~£100k raised, second biggest ride in the world this year
06:00 — The friendship backstory: why socialising with people your own age gets complicated over the decades
09:40 — Making new friends in your 60s: the vulnerability of putting yourself out there and why it's worth it
13:00 — What the ride unlocked: deep conversations, a WhatsApp group, and plans for future rides together
14:30 — Top 10 Mental Health Foundation tips begin
It's Not Your Knees…It's Your Head: Conquering Ski Anxiety in Midlife
Season 3 · Episode 15
Friday, March 20, 2026 • Duration 30:50
Skiing, Anxiety & the Power of Mindset — with Louise Pode, Ski Mindset Coach
Episode Description
Jo sits down with Louise Pode, a ski mindset coach based in the UK, for a frank and funny conversation about why so many women over 45 quietly stop doing the things they love and what it actually takes to get back out there. Louise shares her own journey from chronically anxious skier with two replaced hips to leading an international coaching practice and explains how psychology plays a far bigger role on the slopes than most people realise. If skiing has ever terrified you, made you feel like the oldest, slowest person on the mountain or left you questioning why you even bothered, this one's for you.
Key Takeaways
• Your 'why' is everything. Before technique or training, Louise asks every client why they want to ski. That emotional anchor is what gets you through fear on the mountain.
• Women over 45 are more likely to step back than step forward and it's not just about menopause. Decades of prioritising others, cultural expectations and internalised self-doubt all play a role.
• Anxiety physically changes how you ski. Rigidity, leaning back, bracing; fear creates the very instability you're trying to avoid.
• Learning to ski as an adult is genuinely hard. Expecting to crack it in a week sets you up to feel like a failure. Feeling comfortable on skis after a few days is already a win.
• Environment matters enormously. Busy Christmas resorts with packed slopes are the worst place to learn or relearn. A quiet Italian resort beats Courchevel every time.
• Men have anxiety too, they're just less likely to ask for help. Louise's one-to-one clients are almost exclusively women, but men do turn up at group masterclasses.
• Overcoming anxiety is liberating beyond the slopes. Being able to look at a scary run and walk away with your head held high…that's the real goal.
TimestampsFind Louise
Mother's Day, The Never Empty Nest & The Challenge of Post -Parenthood
Season 3 · Episode 15
Friday, March 13, 2026 • Duration 30:40
Mother's Day, it's more complicated than a card and some flowers. This week we dig into the real origins of Mothering Sunday (16th century, religious, nothing to do with Hallmark), why mums feel the need to be celebrated and the uncomfortable truth about how much of our identity as parents we've wrapped up in our kids.
We also get into delayed adult development, why young adults are struggling to launch, how we might be making it worse and why letting go is the kindest thing you can do. For them AND for you. Plus: the love letter that made Jo emotional, the Mother's Day plan that backfired spectacularly and what David Beckham got right about letting your kids fail.
Timestamps
• 00:45 — The real origins of Mother's Day
• 02:12— Why mums need to feel valued
• 04:20 — The love letter from Jo’s daughter
• 06:34 — Delayed adult development & the stats
• 09:54 — How our generation parents differently
• 10:48 — Tying our self-worth to our kids' outcomes
• 14:14 — Mother’s Day isn’t good for everyone
• 17:11 — The case for a day to yourself and Kev’s plan backfired
• 19:42 — Expectations vs reality
• 21:40 — Letting them fail…David Beckham
• 23:00 — Why you can't control the outcome
• 25:30 — How to detach without losing the relationship
• 26:45 — Finding your third chapter – the beginning of your post-parenthood
Key Takeaways
• Mother's Day started as a 16th-century religious festival; the commercial version is a modern invention
You Probably Can't Afford to Retire. Here's What to Do About It.
Season 3 · Episode 14
Friday, March 6, 2026 • Duration 32:00
Kev gets brutally honest about retirement, what it actually means, whether you can afford it and what to do if you can't. With guest Richard Squire of My Finance Future, they dig into the financial realities facing people in their 50s & 60s: from FIRE movements to the PLSA's benchmark figures, legacy planning and why your first retirement budget will probably be laughed at. Spoiler: Jo laughed at Kev's.
Key Takeaways
• Second & third careers, partial work & financial independence
• FIRE movement (Financial Independence, Retire Early) is reshaping how people think about work & money
• The PLSA estimates that a comfortable retirement in UK £60K pa after tax
• Build your retirement budget from the bottom up.
• Keeping mentally active matters
• Helping kids is a newer, growing part of strategy
• Start checking your pension now
Timestamps
• 00:45 — 4 stages of retirement, what it brought up for Kev
• 02:20 — Mortality reality check: losing parents, becoming head of family
• 03:10 — Triggers: empty nest, mortgage renewal, the oldest at work
• 04:30 — Introducing Richard Squire
• 04:59 — What does retirement mean today
• 06:09 — FIRE movement: Financial Independence, Retire Early explained
• 07:15 — Final salary pensions vs. modern approaches
• 08:09 — Keeping your brain active, why Kev worries about doing sod all
• 09:08 — Leaving a legacy vs spending it all
Can You Learn To Ski or Snowboard After 50? Spoiler ...Yes You Can
Season 3 · Episode 14
Friday, February 27, 2026 • Duration 30:52
Inspired by the Winter Olympics, we dive into whether it's ever too late to hit the slopes and what to do when your partner just isn't that into it.
Kev is a seasoned snowboarder heading to Méribel in his 60s. Jo learned to ski at 57... under protest. We share our honest, sometimes hilarious experiences, plus practical advice for midlifers considering winter sports for the first time (or for the first time in a while).
Key Takeaways
· Why the 2025 Winter Olympics felt so inspiring for older viewers
· The 2030 Winter Olympics in France: 7 centres including Nice, Courchevel & Méribel
· Why the average age of a new ski school student in Canada is 45
· The real reason older beginners struggle; it's psychological, not physical
· The physical and social benefits of skiing and boarding in midlife
· Ski trips designed specifically for the over-50s
· What to do when one partner loves it and the other... really doesn't
· The rules: never teach your partner yourself
· How to sweeten the deal and find the right resort for mixed-ability couples
· Jo's ongoing negotiations about whether she'll ever ski again
Coming up: Jo talks to a coach who specialises in helping women over 45 rebuild their confidence on the slopes.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:44 – The Winter Olympics were inspiring
03:15 – What makes the 2026 Milan-Cortina Olympics different; multiple locations
04:25 – The 2030 Winter Olympics in France: 7-centre breakdown
07:00 – Kev heads to Méribel; two men over 60 on the mountain
Retirement Coach Reveals: The 4 Stages of Retirement and Why 6 Months In Everything Changes
Season 3 · Episode 13
Friday, February 20, 2026 • Duration 31:48
Think retirement is all about having enough money saved? Think again. In this eye-opening conversation, retirement coach Dawn Marcotte reveals the hidden challenges that hit six months after you leave work - the anxiety, the boredom, the loss of identity. Dawn breaks down the four stages of retirement and shares practical strategies for building a fulfilling post-work life, from creating your "curiosity list" to joining industry associations where your expertise still matters. This episode tackles the emotional and social aspects of retirement that nobody prepares you for, with honest discussion about depression and invisibility. disappear.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
· Retirement coaching focuses on the emotional, social, and psychological changes - not finances
· The first 6 months feel amazing, then many people experience anxiety and depression
· Without planning, it takes 2 years on average to figure out retirement happiness
· The four stages: Honeymoon → Lost → Exploration → Reinvention
· You need to replace: routine, intellectual stimulation, purpose and social connections
· Create a "curiosity list" of things to explore without judging if you'll be good at them
· Join industry associations to mentor others
· Quality of relationships is the #1 predictor of happiness
· Society tells retirees to "be small"
TIMESTAMPS
00:52 - What is a Retirement Coach? Dawn explains the non-financial side of retirement coaching and why it's needed
01:40 - Why the first six months of retirement feel fantastic
02:03 - The "Now What?" Moment. When boredom and anxiety set in
03:13 – Why am I not having the time of my life?
Brat-ults, Beckham Drama & What Happens When Your Kid Gets Married
Season 3 · Episode 12
Friday, February 13, 2026 • Duration 29:40
When your adult children get married, you're not just gaining an in-law you're potentially entering a minefield of power struggles, boundary conflicts and family drama. This week, we unpack "brat-ults (privileged young adults publicly cancelling parents) through the lens of celebrity wedding wars, then dig into what happens when your first child ties the knot. From Brooklyn Beckham's 6 page Instagram manifesto to the universal challenges of dealing with your kids' partners, wedding ceremonies and prenup conversation.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
The "Brat-ult" Phenomenon: Privileged young adults publicly cancelling parents
Entitlement vs. Legitimate Conflict: The difference between healthy boundaries and entitled behaviour
1st Marriage Milestone: Parents in their mid-50s/early-60s typically experience their first child's wedding
The Partner Question: Do you express concerns about your child's relationship
Power Struggles Are Real: Wedding planning can become a battleground between families
"Us" Matters: Supporting your adult child's relationship means accepting their partner is their priority
Prenup: Best done when couples are in love and with wealth inequality
Grandchildren Pressure: Being obsessive about grandchildren
Independence Is Healthy: Teaching children self-sufficiency early creates better boundaries
The Divorce Reality: With a 48% divorce rate, statistical concerns about marriage are valid but tricky
Let Them Make Mistakes: Adult children need to make their own choices
TIMESTAMPS
00:30 Brat-ults, cancelling parents and wedding conflicts
00:59 - What are "brat-ults"? Dr. Elizabeth McCain's article on privileged young adults in conflict with their parents
Dating Over 50: What Really Matters (It's Not What You Think) & Valentine's Day
Season 3 · Episode 11
Friday, February 6, 2026 • Duration 26:52
We celebrate our podcast's 1st anniversary on Valentine's Day by diving into dating after 50, relationship maintenance and why this made-up holiday matters more than we thought.
Forget just celebrating Valentine's Day, we're celebrating a full year of podcasting! In this milestone episode, we reflect on our journey from starting with different co-hosts to building an audience (slower than expected!), going viral with 200K views and even getting nominated for a Pro-Ageing Podcast Award.
But the heart of this episode is about love after 50. We explore the three types of people on Valentine's Day (singles, established couples, and newly dating), confess how we nearly let Valentine's Day slide after 8 years together and share what people actually prioritise when dating post-50: intelligence, humour, honesty and kindness.
We get brutally honest about the challenges of dating later in life, the baggage everyone brings, financial compatibility conversations, health considerations and the reality that 35-40 years of habits won't change. From joint bank accounts (we don't have one) to understanding your partner's "money language," we cover the conversations you need to have before fully committing.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Podcasting reality check: We overestimated Year 1 success and learned listeners dip in and out rather than following.
Valentine's serves as a reminder to invest effort in your relationship, not just celebrate on one specific date.
Post-50 dating priorities shift: Intelligence, humour, honesty and kindness matter most (men add facial attractiveness; women add dependability).
Everyone over 50 has baggage; we think it's actually a red flag if they don't.
The comfort zone trap is real: Cohabitation can lead to taking each other for granted if you're not careful
Money means different things: Safety, control, freedom, or love, understanding your partner's "money language" is crucial
The Midlife Crisis Gets a Makeover: 5 New Stereotypes Which One Are YOU?
Season 3 · Episode 10
Friday, January 30, 2026 • Duration 31:11
The midlife crisis isn't dead… it's had a makeover! We explore 5 new stereotypes replacing the old motorbike-and-affair cliché, confess which ones we fit and reveal shocking stats about sex after 50. Nothing is off the table!
Forget the leather jacket and motorcycle stereotype! The Times Magazine has declared the traditional midlife crisis dead and replaced it with FIVE new archetypes. Join us hilariously dissect each one;from the LinkedIn Thought Leader to the Midlife Clubber and (reluctantly) admit which stereotypes we have fallen into.
But this episode goes deeper than stereotypes. We break the taboo around sex after 50 with eye-opening statistics: 85% of men aged 60-69 are sexually active, 45% of over-50s are having the best sex of their lives, and 1 in 8 are doing it at least 5 times a week!
Inspired by the BBC series "Riot Women" and our own midlife experiences, we explore why society doesn't want to see older people as sexual beings, what happens when the kids leave home and the surprising kinks dominating the over-50s bedroom.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
The old midlife crisis stereotype (motorbike, affair, leather jacket) has been replaced by 5 new archetypes
The Midlife Clubber is real and we are living proof (daytime clubbing, anyone?)
45% of people over 50 report having the best sex of their lives RIGHT NOW
Media representation of sex after 50 is virtually non-existent (67% say it's rarely/never shown)
Empty nesters experience significant improvements in their sex lives (48% report better intimacy)
33% of over-50s are open to multiple sexual partners
Confidence and self-acceptance increase with age, leading to more sexual exploration
TIMESTAMPS
00:43 - The Times redefines the Old Midlife Crisis Stereotype and a look at the 5 new stereotypes 02:20 - Kev's Confession: Living the Stereotype Early 04:04 - Stereotype #1: The Thought Leader (Kyle with his LinkedIn insights) 06:20 - Stereotype #2: The Psychedelic Dabbler (Emma's mushroom journey) 08:05 - Stereotype #3: The Camper Van Fan (Kath's van life obsession) 09:54 - Stereotype #4: The Midlife Clubber – We could be guilty! 12:57 - Stereotype #5: The Open Relationship Advocate (Polyamorous Debs) 14:30 - Sex After 50: Breaking the Taboo 16:07 - Shocking Statistics: Sex Lives of Over-50s 20:16 - The Lelo Survey: Best Sex of Their Lives 23:12 - The Great British Sex Experiment Discussion 25:27 - Top 5 Kinks for Over-50s Revealed 26:20 – Do We Need to Re-do Our Bucket List?26:33 - Which Stereotype Do We Relate to? 30:17 - Creating Their Own Stereotype & Next Episode Preview
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14:30 1. Plan something to look forward to
16:45 2. Eat well, avoiding sugar spikes and cortisol crashes
18:00 3. Get closer to nature, daily walks, woods vs pavements
19:13 4. Get good sleep, told straight
20:00 5. Get creative, a guitar deadline and a hired drummer at the ball
12:22 – Stats: average age of new skiers is 45 and cognitive ability at 50+
13:10 – The fear of falling problem
14:01 – Physical & social benefits of skiing in midlife
15:22 – Jo admits her fears of falling and her blocks
16:28 – Over-50s ski organisations & group holidays
19:00 – Club Med do social skiing for adults in term time, could this be the answer?
20:33 – Options when partners have different enthusiasm and skill levels
21:55 – Choices for going to a ski resort, rules and Golden rules: don't teach your partner; be back for après
25:25 – The infamous lost children incident in Méribel
28:45 – Will Jo ever ski again? Watch this space
RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Ski Gathering | Snow Camps Europe | Ski World Over 50s | Ski Club of Great Britain – Fresh Tracks (over 60s) | AARP 50+ Ski Club | Club Med social skiing
04:02 - Key Elements for Retirement Success
04:33 - Dawn compares retirement boredom to the end of summer holidays as a kid
05:40 - DIY Jo discusses people who think they'll paint the house repeatedly (the Severn Bridge analogy)
06:45 - Most people feel lost 6 months to a year after retiring
07:56 - The Four Stages of Retirement
08:22 - The Reinvention Stage
08:43 - Giving Back Through Your Passions
09:44 - Why some people never reach the reinvention stage
10:02 - When grandchildren grow up and don't need you anymore - then what?
11:45 - UK retirement age is rising to 67-70, meaning 15-20 years to fill
13:00 - How removing structure without replacement can cause depression
14:20 - Baby Boomers & The Retirement Crisis
15:04 - The Introvert-Extrovert Marriage Challenge
16:00 - Why men particularly struggle when all their friends were at work
16:44 - Kev's Retirement Plans, he is considering snowboard instructor training to manage the transition
18:32 - The Need for Intellectual Stimulation
19:09 - Dawn's coaching technique: brainstorm things you're curious about
19:42 - Using your career expertise to mentor others after retirement
22:00 - Dawn recommends public speaking to share expertise
23:45 - Culture "be small" in retirement
24:17 - Tony Robbins' Six Human Needs
25:19 - Research shows relationship quality is the #1 indicator of happiness at any age
27:19 - Joining Organizations, finding people who enjoy what you enjoy to build new social connections
28:09 - Dawn's Book: "Filling the Blank Page"- practical guide to building a retirement of passion and purpose
30:30 - Dawn offers to help UK listeners find coaches i
01:53 - Celebrity examples: Brooklyn Beckham and Prince Harry
03:00 - Jo's frustration with Brooklyn’s entitled behaviour and public family feuds
04:38 - The psychology of spoiled children and parental guilt
06:43 - Social media's role in normalising parent cancellation, by the rich and famous
07:08 - The immaturity of public family conflicts
08:22 - Brooklyn Beckham's wedding as the catalyst
09:26 - Plot twist: When did the Spice Girls get old?
09:52 - Parents in their 50s/60s experiencing their first child's wedding
10:24 - Power struggles behind the scenes at the Beckham wedding
10:57 - The new family dynamic: Your kid is no longer a kid
12:06 - Do you like your child's partner? What if you think it won’t last?
13:30 - The importance of "the us" in relationships
14:15 -Jo's take on not being married herself
15:05 - Mother's sense of loss when a child marries
16:43 - Jo's parenting style: Independence from an early age
17:23 - Single parenting and teaching self-sufficiency
18:33 - In-law relationships: Does it really matter if you don't click?
19:20 - Power struggles over the wedding ceremony itself
19:35 - Mumzilla vs. bridezilla: Jo's prom dress experience
20:33 - Making mistakes and learning independence
20:52 - The grandchildren pressure problem
22:11 - Kev's statistical approach to marriage advice for his boys
23:01 - The prenup debate: When does it make sense?
23:47 - Deed of trust: Jo's experience with wealth protection
24:33 - Wealth inequality and prenup timing
25:20 - Kev - Would you tell your child you don't like their partner?
26:06 - Malevolence vs. minor annoyances
27:17 - Wedding planning involvement
28:52 - Final thoughts: Freedom, boundaries and respecting choices
We took 4.5 years before moving in together, there's no rush when you're building something real
TIMESTAMPS
00:27 - Introduction & First Anniversary 01:54 - Year One Highlights and Surprises: Viral Posts & Award Nominations
02:49 – Lessons Learnt from Our First Year 04:10 - The Three Categories of Dating for People over 50 on Valentine's Day
05:41 – The Evolution of Our Valentine’s Day 06:18 - The Comfort Zone Trap: How We Nearly Let Valentine's Slide 10:15 - What People Over 50 Actually Look For in Partners 11:29 - The Baggage Factor: Everyone Has a History 14:07 - Blended Families & Why We Had It Easier
14:55 – Our Primary Motivation When We Started Dating Each Other in Our Mid 50s 16:21 - Health & Wealth: The Delicate Conversations – Do you want to be a nursemaid?
17:19 - It Is Important to do Things Together 19:00 - Financial Compatibility: Joint Accounts vs. Independence 21:21 - Emotional Transparency, Past Relationship Trauma & Understanding Your Own “Money Language” 23:34 - Our Relationship Journey & Philosophies to Dating 25:53 - Our Opinion on Dating post 50
RESOURCES MENTIONED
• Anthony Robbins quote on Year 1 vs. Year 5 expectations • Sunday papers article on dating characteristics post-50 • Research on financial compatibility in couples • Love languages and attachment styles theory • Previous viral episode: Should Adult Children Spend Christmas With Us?
CONNECT WITH US
Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube Instagram: @whenthefuckdididbecomeold
RESOURCES MENTIONED
• BBC Series: Riot Women • Times Magazine Article on midlife crisis stereotypes • Lelo Survey: Sex Lives of Over-50s • Previous guests: Suzanne Noble (sex advice for seniors)and Dr. Elliott Justin • Previous episode: The Happiness Curve & Midlife Malaise
