Unparenting – Details, episodes & analysis

Hello hello!

I’ve renamed my pod and we’re embarking on a new season!

The title, Unparenting, is somewhat provocative - this pod is aiming to do social commentary on parenting trends & discourses around childhood from a lens of children’s rights and child liberation. It’s going to be fun/harrowing - buckle up!

In this episode, I talk to Caroline J Sumlin about the worrying tradwife movement and its political implications, and of course, the white supremacy of it all.

There is a transcript you can access, but pls not that I don’t edit it for errors, etc.

A little bit about Caroline: Caroline J. Sumlin is a writer and speaker dedicated to inspiring others to break free from societal expectations and reclaim their authentic lives. Through her work, she challenges cultural norms and highlights the intersections of self-worth, identity, and systemic oppression. Caroline is the author of We'll All Be Free, How a Culture of White Supremacy Devalues Us and How We Can Reclaim Our True Worth. You can also find her as a contributing writer at The Everygirl. Caroline received her Bachelor of Arts in Journalism from Howard University in Washington, DC.

I hope you enjoy the show! Comment below with your thoughts and please share, rate and review on whatever app you’re listening on - it really helps!

Fran x

Some links from the show:

This pod now has a Patreon

You can follow me on IG @radical.mothering, and follow Caroline @carolinejsumlin.

Find the pod on Youtube.

Caroline’s piece on tradwives:

My piece on tradwives:

The article I quoted from: Sykes, S., & Hopner, V. (2024). Tradwives: Right-Wing Social Media Influencers. Journal of Contemporary Ethnography, 53(4), 453-487. https://doi.org/10.1177/08912416241246273

I’m thrilled to be sharing this conversation with you. I am a long-time follower and fan of Adele’s writing, and in this podcast we discuss her piece Homeschool mum hustle culture is giving MLM vibes, and all of our many thoughts about it.

It was a beautiful, rambly (in all the good ways!) conversation that went so many places.

We talk about:

* working while homeschooling and the very specific challenge of that

* why we don’t see HOW people make it work, even while we’re often told we can do it, too!

* home education as a win-win lifestyle choice

* how we are part of the decision-making around how to craft a life unschooled

* the danger of online promises that you too, can have it all by following these easy steps (and paying for this workshop!)

And so much more!!

I would love to know your thoughts too. Do you homeschool and work for pay? What is tough about it, and what is wonderful? Why do we shy away from talking about the significant downsides of homeschooling, or the realities behind how people actually make it work?

Fran x

More about Adele:

Adele Jarrett-Kerr is a Trinidadian mother of three who lives in Cornwall, UK. She home educated her kids until they were 13, 10 and 7 and founded Soulcraft, a learning community for home educated tweens and teens. She also works as a freelance writer. If you follow her online you'll get some thoughts on self direction and consent-based parenting. 

You can find Adele on instagram, and here on Substack.

The transcript for this conversation is available here! Just be aware that I don’t edit it, so it probably won’t be fully accurate!

I had such a great conversation with Susan Gray over the weekend, and I’m excited to share it with you!

We talked about working full-time while unschooling, letting go of control, and how education doesn’t have to look one way only (and much much more!).

Susan Gray (she/her) is an unschooling mom to 5-year-old twins, living with her family occupied Duwamish Land (also known as Seattle).  Susan has spent the last 20+ years in education and mental health fields as a former special education teacher, turned therapist, turned teacher educator who now trains K-12 teachers at the university level.  She also provides educational consulting, parent coaching, and homeschool support to families wanting connect with kids more deeply around issues of social justice and social emotional learning. As an aspiring co-conspirator for justice and collective liberation, Susan’s work is focused on helping adults trust children, to learn from them, and to co-create humanizing, consent-based, identity-affirming spaces with kids at home, in school, and in other community settings.  

Connect with Susan:

* IG: @growingtowardliberation

* FB: Growing Toward Liberation

* Website (includes FREE homeschooling & parenting resources): www.growingtowardliberation.com 

I chat to Ieishah Clelland Lange, writer, unschooling parent and Masters student of Indigenous studies. We talk about Indigeneity, Indigenous ways of knowing, the impacts of Western culture on consent and relationships, and 'embodied relational learning' and so much more!! You can follow Ieishah @ieishah_on_earth on instagram.

Fran chats to Iris Chen, author of the book Untigering, writer, and unschooled. They chat about building consent-based relationships with our children and our family members, creating a family culture, and cultural expectations and how we navigate them. They also speak about doing the inner work of parenting our children without coercion and domination, about unschooling and how to break free from dogma, and how you don't have to be the perfect parenting or excel at unschooling! (in fact both of those things comes from schoolishness!).

A bit about Iris:

Iris Chen is an author, intersectional unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After recognizing the negative effects of authoritarian tiger parenting in her own life, she now empowers others to untiger by advocating for peaceful parenting, self-directed learning, mental health, and decolonization. Her mission is to inspire generational and cultural transformation, especially among Asian communities. She spent 16 years living overseas in China but now resides in her native California with her husband and two sons. You can read more about her adventures in her book Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent and on her blog at untigering.com

Find Iris on instagram @untigering and on Facebook @untigering

Fran chats to Nikolai about centering literacy in our homes and taking back the tools to support our children with learning to read and write. We talk about perceptions around literacy in both unschooling and schooling spaces, and Nikolai speaks to literacy as a tool for liberation. We also talk about the importance of relationship and trust, of non-coercion, and of decentering school as a movement for all families (unschooled, homeschooled and schooled!).

More about Nikolai:

For over 10 years, Nikolai Pizarro, has worked to empower predominantly Black and Brown parents and caregivers, particularly segments further marginalized by socioeconomic factors, with science based frameworks of early brain development, literacy instruction, non-violent discipline, and self-directed education. Her book, Ring the Alarm, has been used by programs sponsored by Brooklyn Kindergarten Society and the Department of Health. She has facilitated workshops at hundreds of preschools and private early childhood centers, including over 300 Early Start and Head Start Centers. 

Over the past 8 years, as her own unschooling journey with her son has unfolded, her work has increasingly included private and small group coaching and collaboration with families looking to transition from conventional schooling to self-directed models and just as importantly, a commitment to reconnect with our assignment to children rather than the school system. "Open source, self-directed, and intersectional education is not just a model for our children. It is the model. But this is bigger than schooling models. This work is in defense of childhood and our divine assignment. " she shares. 

As a response to COVID19, she has started the facebook group BIPOC-led pandemic pods and microschools, for BIPOC families and non-white book co-conspirators committed to Black and Brown liberation with now over 2,600 members, launched an early literacy system, and has initated a project to turn her own home into a self-directed, forest school and permaculture, mixed age coop

Find Nikolai on instagram @raisingreaders

And also here: fromhighchairtofreedom.com

and here:  homeasepicenter.com

Fran chats to John Wall about giving children the vote! We discuss barriers and preconceptions about children's suffrage, how it's actually not such a scary idea, and the sorts of repercussions it might have. We touch upon the potential shifts in politics and political engagement that expanding the suffrage to children might bring, and how it might all work in practice. We talk about children's rights, childism, adult bias and adult fears and worries around giving children the vote, and more!

John Wall is a professor of philosophy, religion, and childhood studies at Rutgers University Camden in the United States. He is author or editor of nine books in political philosophy and children’s rights, including most recently Give Children the Vote: On Democratizing Democracy. He founded and directs the Childism Institute, an international research and activist organization dedicated to making societies responsive to children’s lives, as well as the Children’s Voting Colloquium, a group working to eliminate all voting ages worldwide.

Academic Page: https://johnwall.camden.rutgers.edu/

Childism Instiute: https://www.childism.org/

Children’s Voting Colloquium: https://www.childrenvoting.org/ 

Fran chats to Dr. Sophia Graham about all things Self-consent: what it is, why it matters and how do we even do it? We talk about all the various aspects of being in a consent-based relationship with ourselves, including interoception (what on earth is that? find out here!), sociocratic decision-making, healthy self-trust and healthy self-doubt, and so much more!

A bit about Sophia:

Dr Sophia Graham is a recovering academic who has become a coach after completing therapy training in the UK. Self Consent is her passion project – and the work she finds most personally challenging, too. A wise friend once told her “your mess is your message” and she is living proof of concept (thanks Meg John Barker). She is a settled, white, queer, disabled, consensually non monogamous, survivor presently living on unceded Massachusett land. Most of her work revolves around teaching and learning about DBT skills, gender and sexual diversity, consensual non-monogamy, consent, sex work and neurodiversity.

Links:

The Love Uncommon Blog

https://loveuncommon.com/ 

The Self-Consent Wheel: https://loveuncommon.com/2022/02/24/learning-self-consent-by-building-skills/

Sophia's self consent course: https://loveuncommon.com/self-consent-courses/

Fran chats to Sara about all things living and learning without school, including the ways we see children, how we respect consent when things need to get done, "non-negotiable", building community and of course the every-present question of: how will they learn if we don't force them? ;)

Sara is a Mum of four girls from Brisbane, Australia. Her children have never been to school and instead live an unschooling life where they live and learn naturally from the world around them, with her help and support. Sara started sharing her family's experience with unschooling, as well as other thoughts on parenting and children's rights, 8 years ago on her blog, 'Happiness is Here'. Her goal was to spread the word about this alternative lifestyle and show people it was an awesome way to educate children, and that there are more cohesive and respectful ways to live with children. Happiness is Here continues to gain many new readers daily, and is now the largest unschooling blog in the world.

Find Sara on Instagram here.

Read Sara's blog here.

Follow Fran on insta here.

Fran chats to Rosalia Rivera about talking to children about consent as a way to educate them about their bodies and their right to safety and bodily autonomy. They chat about what this might look like, how it's a gradual process, how to chat to other adults in our lives about consent-based parenting and why creating a culture that is anti-abuse matters. They also talk about creating consent cultures within schools and other institutions, online safety, and changes that are happening on a wider scale.

About Rosalia:

Rosalia Rivera ia a passionate consent educator, child sexual abuse prevention expert, sexual literacy advocate, TEDx speaker, change agent, and survivor turned thriver. She's also the host of AboutCONSENT™ Podcast, the founder of CONSENTparenting™ and creatrix of CONSENTwear™.

The Brave Movement: https://www.bravemovement.org/

CONSENTparenting™: http://www.consentparenting.com

Instagram: http://Instagram.com/consentparenting

Facebook: http://Facebook.com/consentparenting