The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce – Details, episodes & analysis
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The Stay or Go Podcast for Women Considering Divorce
Britta Jo
Frequency: 1 episode/8d. Total Eps: 111
stayorgo.substack.com
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What Every Woman Deserves to Know with Quinn Otrera
Episode 110
mardi 9 juin 2026 • Duration 01:32:41
Episode 110: Hello, hello, babes! 💕 Oh my goodness, my heart is so incredibly full because the beautiful Yin to my Yang—the gorgeous, brilliant Quinn—is officially BACK! 🥰 It feels just like the good old days, vibing out together and diving straight into the deep end.
For this episode, Quinn and I really took one for the team. We spent weeks digging into the meaty, mind-blowing work of historian Gerda Lerner’s The Creation of Patriarchy, and let me tell you... once you see the matrix, you cannot unsee it. 😲
If you are sitting there considering divorce, feeling psychologically exhausted, or constantly wondering, "Am I the crazy one?"—please take a deep breath right now. 😮💨 This episode is your permission slip to stop blaming yourself. We are breaking down how the world was artificially engineered by men, for men, and why we internalize these thousands-of-years-old systems as personal failures.
Quinn and I are tracking the whole trajectory, from ancient Mother Goddess worship to the "Genesis hit job" that flipped the script on our power. 🐍 Here is what we are unpacking:
- The Neolithic Team: How early tribes relied on true mutuality, and why the "trad-wife" illusion is anything but natural. 🌾
- The Agricultural Shift: How shifting to farming turned the sacred female body into a commodity to be owned and controlled. 🚜
- The Patriarchal Bargain: How systemic hierarchies strategically divided women from each other to keep the play running. 🎭
- Rewriting the Divine: How men conscripted God into their own image to justify dominating half the population. 👑
This isn't about doing to men what they did to us—it’s about waking up to true mutuality and stepping off the stage of a play we didn't write. 🛑 When we band together in true sisterhood and refuse to play our assigned, supportive roles, the patriarch's play finally comes to an end. 👭💥
Please send this episode to your sisters, your besties, and your moms. We need to know our history so we don't fall for the ploy again!
If you are looking for your ultimate "girls' girls" community to hold you through this fog, we are waiting for you! ✨ Text "stay or go community" to 33777 to join us. Plus, Quinn is back doing her legendary tarot readings in the community this summer (jaws are dropping, babes, so don't ask what you don't want to know! 🔮). 1:1 90-minute coaching links are below.
I love you, I see you, and we will see you next week! Sending so much love. 💖🛋️
Show Notes:
Extra ✨bonus✨ material can be found on Substack for my paid subscribers.
Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨
Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️
Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
The Creation of Patriarchy PDF - Gerda Lerner
The Creation of Patriarchy - Gerda Lerner
The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner
When Life Takes Us Places We Didn’t Expect: The Hard Truth of Admitting It’s Not Working
Episode 109
mardi 2 juin 2026 • Duration 01:34:09
Episode 109: Hello, my loves. Welcome back. Today’s episode is a deeply personal, vulnerable, and ultimately liberating one for me.
For the past eight months, I have been spinning in a messy internal loop, trying to force a business model that just wasn’t working. Instead of looking at the numbers cleanly, my conditioning told me I just needed to try harder, surrender more, and carry the entire weight of the world on my shoulders.
If you are currently considering divorce, this loop probably sounds incredibly familiar. So often, we look inward and blame ourselves for a failing marriage, believing that walking away means we can’t trust our own judgment or that we have failed as the emotional anchors of our families.
After a beautifully raw reality check with my coach, Quinn, I finally embraced a truth I want to hand to you today: it is not a sin, it is just data. In this episode, I’m sharing the messy journey behind my major decision to remove the paywall and return the podcast to a completely free, open resource for everyone, permanently. We are diving into the trap of hyper-independence, shedding old conditioning, and learning how to pivot in a rebellious act of self-love. ✨
Paid subscribers, listen in for the exciting details on how your investment is shifting into monthly live coaching and deep-dive resources straight from The Vault! ❤️
Show Notes:
The "Click Clack Symphony" Video
The Human Design Episode with Deanna
The Creation of Patriarchy - Gerda Lerner
The Creation of Feminist Consciousness - Gerda Lerner
The Light Seers Tarot Deck - Eight of Cups
Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨
Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️
Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
100th Episode Milestone & Why We Pass Pain Forward (and How to Stop)
Episode 100
mardi 24 mars 2026 • Duration 01:23:00
Episode 100: This 100th episode is a celebration, yes, but it is also something deeper.
In it I reflect on what it means to reach this milestone and on the woman I have become in the process of creating this podcast. What started as a small spark during one of the hardest seasons of my life has grown into something that has not only supported other women, but has changed me too.
At the heart of this episode is also a question I have been sitting with lately. What do we do with the pain we have lived through? Do we let it harden us, or do we let it deepen us?
Through two very different experiences, one painful and one tender, I talk about what it means to be with our own fear, grief, and hurt instead of projecting it onto everyone around us. I talk about emotional maturity, self-resourcing, and the kind of self-love that is not performative, but rooted in staying with ourselves in the hardest places.
If you are considering divorce, this matters. Because so much of what keeps us stuck is not just the relationship itself, but the emotional patterns underneath it. And so much of healing is learning how to hold your own inner world with honesty and care.
This episode is really about transmuting darkness. About choosing, again and again, to let what has hurt you become a source of compassion, clarity, and truth rather than something you pass on.
And in that way, this episode feels like the heart of what these 100 episodes have always been about.
Show Notes:
Subscribe to Stay or Go on Substack
For Better or For Worse: Divorce Reconsidered - E. Mavis Hetherington Ph.D
Script for Jungian dream interpretation:
Hello Claude! I've done Jungian dream interpretation with a psychiatrist before who took me step-by-step through each aspect of the dream, one at one at a time, asking questions and getting details along the way and really slowing the process down. I'd like to have you do the same with me and the dream I'm about to share with you please. (copy and paste dream here and then submit )
The Muse Tarot - Chris-Anne
Text 90MIN to 33777 to book a 90-Minute Session with me. ✨
Text STAYORGOCOMMUNITY to 33777 to join the community. ⚡️
Text EMAILME to 33777 for the free tarot guide using ChatGPT. 💫
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Unmanaged Complex PTSD: How It Affects Your Life & Relationships
mardi 27 février 2024 • Duration 52:21
Episode 11: Hey loves! 🥰 Just me and Jake, chilling at home today, feeling so refreshed after the sweetest birthday getaway in Deep Ellum, Dallas. (Side note: thrift shopping with someone you're dating? 10/10 recommend — cuteness overload! 🛍️✨)
But here’s the real magic I really want to share with you…
This episode is all about Complex PTSD — why accepting that I have it has been the most profound gift I’ve given myself this year. It’s the book that opened my eyes: Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker—if you resonate with anything I share today, go get it. Trust. 🚀
Here's What We're Unpacking:
- What is Complex PTSD?
Pete Walker breaks it down into five core parts: emotional flashbacks, toxic shame, self-abandonment, a brutal inner critic, and social anxiety. If you're nodding along to any of these — welcome, you're in powerful company. 👯♀️ - Emotional Flashbacks
Have you ever suddenly felt like a scared, helpless child? Like Thanksgiving dinner turned terror? I’ve been there. It’s disorienting—but once labeled, you can begin to heal. 🧠❤️ - Toxic Shame
That gut-wrenching shame that says you're “ugly” or “broken”? That's trauma, not truth. I’ll tell you about the time I felt utterly annihilated by my mom’s contempt, and how learning this changed everything. 😔✊ - Passive Suicidal Ideation
Wish the car would just swerve and end it all? You’re not alone—and you’re absolutely not “crazy.” This might be a sign of an emotional flashback—not a sign of your worth. It’s intense, but normal—for those of us who’ve hidden this for too long. 🌌🆙 - Why It Matters:
Understanding CPTSD means realizing: this pain isn’t who you are—it’s a result of trauma. Recognizing this shifts everything. It’s like managing diabetes—a lifelong condition, yes—but one you can live with beautifully. 💉→🌿 - The Healing Power of Acceptance:
Letting go of the “salvation fantasy” (“I’ll heal and be done forever”) was one of the hardest things…yet so liberating. Now, when flashbacks show up, I pause, breathe, and walk through them—loving myself through it. That shift? It’s total life change. 💫
Silver Linings and Sacred Shifts:
- I’m so much kinder to myself—and to others.
- Dating? Now I know to choose people who understand trauma, who are anchored—and hella supportive. Loving him, loving me, healing together. 🥂
- With my kids? I’ve learned to say, “Hey sweethearts, my nervous system’s feeling off right now. I need a moment to come back.” It’s parenting with awareness—and modeling compassionate self-care. 👩👧👦❣️
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Repressed Memories and Childhood Trauma
mardi 20 février 2024 • Duration 53:24
Episode 10: In this episode I'll share my journey with repressed memories and how unveiling these anhis episode is one of the hardest—and most important—I’ve ever recorded. 💔 Today, I’m sharing something deeply personal: my experience with repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse, how those memories resurfaced, and the journey that followed as I began to piece together the truth about my past. This is a raw, real, and sacred conversation about trauma, silence, and what it means to believe yourself when the world tries to gaslight you. 💬🔥
I want to say this clearly: this episode comes with a strong content consideration. If you’ve experienced childhood abuse or are in the process of trauma healing, please go gently with yourself while listening. Pause when you need. Feel into your body. You are not alone. You are not crazy. And you are deeply loved. 💞
In this episode, I share:
🧠 What repressed memories are—and how they showed up for me
📉 The emotional fallout and how my mental health was impacted
📚 How a false cultural narrative (thank you, “False Memory Syndrome Foundation” 🙄) has kept so many survivors silent
🛑 Why “it didn’t happen if you don’t remember it” is a deeply harmful myth
🔍 Why your body knows the truth—even when your conscious mind doesn’t
I also get into how childhood trauma shaped my nervous system, why complex PTSD (CPTSD) has been such a breakthrough in understanding myself, and how reclaiming my own truth led me to one of the most defining moments of my life—testifying against my father in court. ⚖️
This episode isn’t easy, but it’s honest. It’s for the woman who needs to know she’s not imagining things. For the woman who remembers something but isn’t sure what it means. For the one who’s been told she’s “making it up.” I see you. And I believe you. 🫶
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Own Your Story
mardi 6 février 2024 • Duration 33:57
Episode 9: This episode… wow. It’s tender, it’s raw, and it might just be the thing you didn’t know you needed. 💗 I’m sharing the power of storytelling—not the kind you read in books, but the kind you live and breathe every day. The kind that defines who you believe yourself to be. Because here’s the truth: if you’re not the one writing your story, someone else will try to do it for you. 🖊️
This idea came alive during a beautiful coaching session with a dear friend and former client. She’s walking through one of the hardest seasons of her life—a journey with cancer—and yet the way she’s reframed her experience using the “mindset of storytelling” completely blew me away. 🌿
In this episode, I share:
💡 Why storytelling is your most powerful tool for reclaiming your life
🧠 How the lens you choose—victim, heroine, survivor, chain-breaker—shapes everything
⛔ Why you must stop letting other people (and systems) write your narrative
🔥 What happens when we choose to tell stories that center love, agency, and self-trust
💔 The cautionary tale of a woman who let one chapter define her whole life—and how not to repeat that
I also get super real about my own journey—how I grew up in a religious system that handed me a life script I didn’t question until I was falling apart. How I believed being a “good wife” was the ultimate success... and how breaking that story was both painful and absolutely necessary. 🧩
This episode is for any woman who’s stuck in a story that no longer fits. Maybe it was handed to you by religion, culture, family, or fear. Maybe it’s a story that tells you you're bad, broken, or selfish for wanting more. I'm here to tell you—you get to rewrite that. Not someday. Right now. 🪞
You have the right to choose a story that lifts you, heals you, and reflects who you truly are—not who someone else needed you to be.
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Embrace Your One-of-a-Kind Journey
mardi 30 janvier 2024 • Duration 28:43
Episode 8: This episode hit me right in the heart, y’all. 💖 It was born from one of those real-life, late-night scroll moments (you know the kind). One second I’m chilling, decompressing... and the next, I’m spiraling into comparison. The shame storm was real. 😔
But then, a thought dropped in like a whisper from the universe: "Okay, you want her success? Then you also get her life." That flipped everything. It reminded me that behind every seemingly perfect feed is a life I don’t actually know—and one I probably wouldn’t trade for my own if I really had the choice. 💡
In this episode, we talk about:
✨ How social comparison messes with our joy
🌎 Why your journey is completely unrepeatable and uniquely yours
🧠 The sneaky programming we’ve inherited from religion, culture, and childhood
🙅🏽♀️ Why letting go of comparison is essential if you want to find your real soul tribe
🔥 The deep, sacred power in choosing yourself over and over again
I share the truth about what it's been like building my life from the inside out—not always glamorous, not always visible—but full of hard-won joy, expanded worldview, and soul-level growth. This isn’t about pretending your life is perfect. It’s about recognizing that it’s yours, and that’s what makes it beautiful. 🌸
Plus, I offer tangible ways you can reconnect with your own sacred path, including some of my most treasured resources like Sarah Blondin (hello soul medicine) and Women Who Run With the Wolves (life-changing doesn’t even cover it). 📚✨
So if you’ve been stuck in compare-and-despair or questioning your worth because of what someone else’s highlight reel looks like—this episode is here to bring you home to yourself. 💕
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Guilt Keeps You Trapped in Indecision. Let It Go.
mardi 23 janvier 2024 • Duration 25:11
Episode 7: Whew, this one goes deep, y’all. 💥 If you’re an empathic, heart-centered woman (hello, most of us!) who’s staying in a marriage because you don’t want to hurt your partner… this episode is a loving wake-up call. 💔✨
I’m breaking down how guilt—especially the guilt we’ve been trained to carry—keeps us spinning in confusion and stuck in marriages that no longer align with our truth. And let’s be honest: most of us were raised in patriarchal systems that taught us to prioritize everyone else’s comfort over our own clarity. 😩
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
🔁 Why guilt feels so heavy (and how patriarchy planted that seed)
🧠 The coaching principle that changed everything for me: you are not responsible for other people’s feelings
👀 What to watch for when a partner is guilting or manipulating you to stay
🚫 Why emotional protest behavior isn't love—it’s control dressed up in “I miss you”
🔥 What real, mature love sounds like (and why you deserve that kind of partnership)
🌱 How to reclaim your power, set boundaries, and stop contorting yourself to keep the peace
I’ll also share my own personal stories (including some seriously ✨Taylor Swift “Blank Space” vibes✨ from my dating life) to show how this stuff plays out in real time—and why it’s so freeing to stop carrying responsibility for other people’s reactions.
Here’s your permission slip, friend: you get to make the right choice for YOU, even if it disappoints someone else. You are not selfish. You are sovereign. 💪💫
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Why I Am a "Stay or Go Coach" Rather Than a Divorce Coach
mardi 16 janvier 2024 • Duration 25:00
Episode 6: Let’s clear something up, loves. 💬 If you’ve been listening to the first few episodes and thinking, “Wait… is Britta just Team Divorce?” — this one’s for you. 💡
In this episode, I share the real reason I call myself a Stay or Go coach—not a divorce coach—and why that distinction is everything. Because here’s the truth: I’m not here to tell you what to do. I’m here to help you find your own truth, without pressure, fear, or someone else’s agenda. 🔍✨
We talk about:
🌱 Why true empowerment means learning to trust yourself (not outsourcing big decisions)
⚖️ The dangerous seduction of letting others choose for us—and why it doesn’t end well
🧠 How “just getting divorced” won’t fix what hasn’t been healed
🛑 What makes emotional or narcissistic abuse a totally different ballgame—and when leaving is the only sane next step
🌀 How transforming you can shift your marriage (yes, even the one that feels stuck)
I also share a client story that had me cheering from the sidelines 🙌—a reminder that staying can work when you’ve done the inner work and built a marriage that actually supports your thriving.
Whether you're leaning toward staying, going, or feel like you’re just trying to breathe… this episode is an invitation to come home to yourself, slow down, and choose with clarity—not fear. 💖
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
Considering Divorce? Understand the Life-Death-Life Cycle First
mardi 9 janvier 2024 • Duration 44:33
Episode 5: This episode is one for your soul, babe. It’s a cozy, late-night chat straight from my heart to yours—and it might just be the perspective shift you didn’t know you needed. 💫
We're diving deep into a truth that changed everything for me: the Life-Death-Life Cycle, inspired by Clarissa Pinkola Estés’ iconic Women Who Run With the Wolves. 🌑🌱 If you’re sitting in the messy middle of your marriage, wrestling with grief, fear, or the unknown… this one’s for you.
Here’s what we explore:
🌬️ What it means to let things die—relationships, roles, dreams—and how that opens space for new life
💔 Why grief and rebirth are not opposites, but sacred dance partners
🪞 The truth that YOU remain—beyond all the identities, titles, and expectations
We talk gardens, burning man, breakups, soul awakenings, intuitive knowing—and why surrendering to death is actually the beginning of your next becoming. 🔥
If you've been holding on to something that no longer fits… a relationship, a belief, a way of life… this episode will help you loosen your grip and start trusting the part of you that already knows what’s next. 🌕✨
The Deep Dive - 3 Month One-on-One Coaching Intensive
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stayorgo.substack.com/subscribe
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