The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style – Details, episodes & analysis

When we think of the term hero in its typical circumstance, we think of someone saving the day, making everything better, and restoring the peace, security and joy to those or what had momentarily been in peril. Now fashion or our personal style is not a life or death situation, I will acknowledge this upfront, but for the purposes of today's conversation, the hero pieces in our wardrobe are, as defined by The Ethical Brand Directory, "the ultimate item of clothing that completes any wardrobe. Hero pieces can be dressed up, dressed down and just become an ‘essential piece’’ that you can’t live without". 

Another definition identifying 'hero' pieces comes from a recent article from the WSJ titled "Think This Looks 'Effortless'? stating "[They are] pieces you can always rely on to deliver a feeling of insouciance." In other words, enable you to relax in your clothing and pay no mind to your clothes or outfit because you know you look fabulous.

The beautiful breadth of Hero pieces is that they stretch from clothing to accessories to shoes to just about anything that pulls your wardrobe together with the snap of the fingers simply by selecting it to be part of your ensemble.

For each individual, the specific Hero pieces will be different to look at them or list them, but how we identify a Hero piece adheres to core concepts that I want to share with you today to give you an idea of what to look for when it comes to finding the Heroes in your closet and trusting that they are worth the investment due to the power of completion and confidence they bring to just about any outfit you will wear.

Find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast387 

The learning continues, and the French language continues to become clearer and clearer with each word I hear. Granted, it is a slow journey of progress, but indeed progress has been made.

As I sat watching both the Opening and Closing Ceremonies of the Jeux Paris, I found myself for the first time actually wishing there were no translations as I found I could understand most of what was being said in French (admittedly, I may have paused and rewound a time or two ;)). To recognize words that previously were absolutely babbel to me in years past found me celebrating seemingly small, but, to me, grand progress.

With that said, I am not proficient yet, and I have had frustrations, but I have continued forward and I am grateful I have. Part of the reason I want to share my French language journey with you is to encourage and reassure you that the journey will be long, but the progress will be great, and here is the paradox, only if we both run up against frustrations and keep at it. We can do it!

I shared in the first post to kick off this year's French Week (the 9th!) that international language institutes have found it takes approximately 600 hours of regular learning of a new language to become proficient (this is for the easier to learn languages, of which French is high on that list, being one of the simpler language to learn - yes, it is true believe it or not ;)). And when you break down how long it takes an average student to cover 600 hours, it looks to be about 2-3 years. Knowing this has eased my mind and reminded me to be patient and remain consistently engaged and surrounded by the language - through taking my courses, doing my homework, studying even when I don't have homework and attempting to speak French in class whenever I have the opportunity.

Having concluded FR 202 this past June, two years of online study through Washington D.C. Alliance de Française are behind me and have found me much improved in both my breadth of vocabularly, pronunciation as well as comprehension and yes, even confidence in formulating sentences (however, simple) to carry on a conversation.

The last post/episode in this ongoing series was shared back in February - episode #347, when I wrapped up the 100 level, so now I am back to share with you what I have learned during FR 201 and 202. On y va !

Find the Show Notes for episode #386 here - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast386 

Author and professor of computer science at Georgetown University Cal Newport's latest book Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment without Burnout details exactly how and where in our daily lives and throughout the year we can apply the Slow Productivity approach and why it works.

In today's episode I will be sharing with you 10 takeaways that caught my eye as areas of interest that I thought would interest TSLL readers/podcast listeners, and if what you discover here speaks to you, I encourage you to pick up the book as far more detail and information is shared. Throughout the discussion today, I will be dovetailing the ideas Newport suggests with how it overlaps with living simply luxuriously because as is made clear from the name given to his approach, the concept of quality versus quantity is the key thread that runs through Slow Productivity, something that TSLL Community is all too familiar as we individually cultivate our simply luxurious lives.

Check out the detailed Show Notes - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast377 

"The thread of all good cooking: the right ingredients, fresh and the way they should be - not fancy or expensive." —Anne Willan, author of Women in the Kitchen and founder of La Varenne Cooking School in Paris

One of the world's preeminent authors on French cooking, a James Beard Award-winning author and the founder of La Varenne Cooking School in Paris, Anne Willan joins me on the podcast today to talk about her new book Women in the Kitchen: Twelve Essential cookbook Writers Who Defined the Way We Eat, from 1661 to Today.

In today's episode we will talk about seven of the women featured in the book, as well as talk about Anne's time managing and founding La Varenne and much more.

The Atlantic recently posted an article asserting there won't be a clear end to the pandemic. Rather, the end for each of us will be as unique and differentiated as each one of us and occur on a different timeline.

Frequently, the yearning for "returning to normal" may be voiced by those around us, strangers or intimate relations, or we may be simply thinking such thoughts, constantly, as we grieve the parts of our lives we enjoyed that are no longer readily available or available at all.

However, even before the pandemic introduced itself and in what seemed for many to change our lives much like a light-switch, the psychological experts have been talking about this word that seems to roll off our tongues more often than ever before in recent times - normal. Writing in 2009 on Pyschology Today, "The fate of normality is very much in the balance," wrote Peter Kramer.

While speaking about individuals as to their neurosis or so-called normal behaviors and the perameters of what constitutes "normal", he shared a final thought which may help reframe how we strive forward in our current times as we are more broadly looking at an entire world, culture, etc. and what "normal", the new normal, may be:

Normality may be a myth we have allowed ourselves to enjoy for decades, sacrificed now to the increasing recognition of differences. The awareness that we all bear flaws is humbling. But it could lead us to a new sense of inclusiveness and tolerance, recognition that imperfection is the condition of every life.

—Peter Kramer, psychatrist at Brown Medical School

"We are born with a capacity to dance together but not with the necessary training."

—David Richo

As soon as I read the first line in chapter one shown above, the analogy made crystal clear sense of my ignorance about relationships and how to navigate past it: I needed to learn HOW to love, not just want to love and want to be loved.

Love, as the oft mentioned quote reminds is a verb, but even if we accept this truth, we have to learn how to exercise this action, and we have to be willing to let go of so much incorrect and unhelpful advice in order to find the peace and contentment we seek.

Today's episode can help in all relationships you are engaged in. Fundamentally, the book was written in 2002 for readers trying to improve their romantic relationships, but indirectly, the skills and concepts shared will foster healthy relationships platonically from close friends and family members to acquaintances, neighbors and strangers we bump into along our travels and life journey.

Recommended by my counselor, my copy of David Richo's book is annotated in detail, and I have referred back and reread different sections since my first reading. I have chosen to work with a counselor since nearly four years ago, but it did take time to find the right one. Meeting regularly, primarily for preventative and skill strengthening purposes in areas I wish to improve, the opportunity to meet with a professional, trained in the area of expertise we do not have is helpful to make sense of what we learn not only about ourselves but how our minds and emotions work.

With all of that said, as soon as I read the book, lightbulbs went off repeatedly in my mind. Ahas occurred frequently and I found an ease I had never felt before regarding my approach to interacting with others in a variety of different relationship scenarios.

While I highly recommend you pick up your own copy and read it closely, I wanted to share with you the primary component that underlies everything about being an adult in life and love.

The world we live in would rather have us feel insecure and lacking, even though it blatantly argues the contrary (when you purchase their product, create [enter lifestyle and accoutrements] for all to see and witness, or behave in a certain way), so it is no wonder we are confused about what we should or shouldn't be doing when it comes to relationships. And even if we eventually do figure it out, trying to understand what it is that worked if we don't know ourselves leaves us struggling to explain to others why it works if they inquire, don't understand or have not been introduced to the fundamentals shared below.

The good news is, this intangible unknown need not be unknown any more. Knowledge is key, and this practice is essential to cultivate habits that will heal you and then strengthen your ability to connect as an adult with adults to build a life of social harmony and contentment.

First, we need to let go of some unhelpful and often destructive habits.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” ― Mark Twain

The thief of joy, if Mark Twain is right, is of our own making.

The good news in this revelation reveals each of us can take back our joy.

Comparing ourselves to others occurs consciously and unconsciously. Consciously, we may be acutely aware that we follow certain people on social media to see how we are doing in relation; unconsciously, when we choose not to speak up to set a boundary, when we set a checklist for our life delineating what should happen by what age.

Each of these three are examples of many more of unhelpful comparison, and while comparison is a primal instinct for survival, the good news evolution and civil society have provided the opportunity and arguably the necessity for each of us of to offer the world our unique talents rather than limiting ourselves to remain part of the herd or tribe.

The habit of comparison is a learned skill, and therefore, it can be unlearned; however, it must be a conscious choice to do so. Fundamentally, when we compare ourselves with others, some part of us believes we are not enough or needs to be reassured that we are enough just as we are.

Today, I will be examining five areas of our lives in which comparison can creep in and become destructive to contentment and living a fulfilling life, and then share how to let go of such comparing with the outside world.

In three weeks the seventh season of The Simple Sophisticate will begin. With 285 episodes already shared, I am excited to explore new books, welcome guests that speak to what living simply luxuriously is all about and sharing motivating and inspiring ways to continue to live a life of quality over quantity.

I have shared the full calendar for Season 7 which spans the next 12 months. You will notice that 2021 has a handful fewer episodes than last season. The reason for this is to give me time to hopefully bring a second season of the cooking show during the spring season.

Keep in mind that every Monday that a new episode does not go live, a brand new Motivational Monday post will be available to read here on the blog, just as there is today.

I want to thank listeners again for sharing the show with their friends and family either by word-of-mouth or on their social media feeds, and for leaving positive reviews that share specifically what they enjoy about the show so that new potential listeners know exactly what they will discover when they tune in.

This September look for topics on building healthy relationships, listen to my conversation with a guest from the cooking world who has worked with the most well-known people in the industry, tips on how to make the most of this incredibly challenging time, and many more topics that are relevant and relatable as well as offering concrete ideas to apply to your own life journey.

Join me on Monday September 7th for a brand new episode wherever you listen to podcasts. Subscribe below in order to always have the latest episode ready to download and enjoy.

Author and blogger and American living in Paris Lindsey Tramuta joins me on podcast today to talk about her new book The New Parisienne: The Women & Ideas Shaping Paris (purchase on Bookshop.org). Having called Paris home for nearly 15 years, Tramuta explores the true Parisienne woman, looking past the myth and confining superficial stereotype that has been perpetuated for centuries through introducing readers to 40 Parisiennes in all of their diverse life journeys and talents and passions.

Joining me from Paris, our conversation covers where the myth of the Parisienne woman began, who benefitted from it and how we can shift the narrative to reflect the truth. We also talk about her happy place in Paris, the difference between universal feminism vs. intersectional feminism and with diverse individual profiled, what they all have in common. I do hope you will tune in and have a listen.

Lindsey's first book The New Paris (2017) is another wonderful Francophile resource to keep on hand as an introduction to new people, places and ideas in the City of Light.

Download and Listen to the full episode here or listen on the following podcast platforms:

~The TEDTalk mentioned during our conversation, The Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Lindsey's Petit Plaisir links:

• Order Lindsey Tramuta's books:
  • The New Parisienne (2020)
  • The New Paris (2017)
• French and Belgium chocolates
  • Plaq
  • La Maison du Chocolat 
    • purchase on Amazon
  • Pierre Marcolini 
  • Michel Cluizel (not mentioned on the show, but also recommended by Lindsey)
  • Read Lindsey's post detailing all of her favorite Macarons et Chocolates in Paris

• Find Lindsey Tramuta's online:
  • her blog - Lost in Cheeseland
  • her podcast: The New Paris
  • Instagram - @lostNcheeseland
  • Facebook - @lostincheeseland
• Lindsey's Happy Place is mine as well, and maybe yours too:
  • Palais-Royal

Images: (1) author pic courtesy of author, taken by Joann Pai

PREVIOUS POSTS from TSLL’s 5th Annual French Week

TSLL's Boutique Sale! In Celebration of French Week

Let's Talk About Wine & 8 Books About Wine Worth Exploring

Welcome to TSLL's 5th Annual French Week & The First Giveaway

Desired change in our lives can be seemingly elusive when so much of what needs to happen requires more energy, more time, more focus. With already full lives, the desired change remains just that - desired.

However, what if you set aside just one month. Why not for only one month institute the change you seek, and then should if it does not work out, you can return to your old ways? Part of this approach is a bit of a trick of the mind, but the other part is to reduce the stress on your schedule as you can shift your priorities temporarily and only permanently if you choose to at the month's end.

In today's episode, the top episode which kicked off Season #5 of the podcast, discover specific ideas for welcoming simplicity into your everyday life.

You can view the full Show Notes for episode #224 here.