Brilliant, articulate fellow therapist Sarah Ann Saeger is here to help us learn to navigate what it means to be the first generation breaking free from the unhealthy and unhelpful ways we were parented, while also parenting and reparenting.
This rich episode touches on the impact of childhood trauma on our parenting, understanding the inner child, attachment styles and healing our own attachment to Self, how to practice inner attunement, how to navigate the moving target of holding boundaries with our parents and why she is no longer referring to families as dysfunctional.
Sarah's training is in Internal Family Systems, and we both share our wisdom earned and passion shared for supporting adults in reclaiming what was lost in childhood.
Sarah Ann Saeger is a trauma-informed licensed counselor, writer and somatic practitioner, and fellow traveler. She helps individuals become the healthy adult their inner child needs after attachment trauma and discover healing in relationship.
Takeaways
- Childhood trauma can impact our parenting by triggering unresolved issues and unmet needs from our own childhood.
- Understanding and healing our own attachment patterns is crucial for creating secure attachments with our children.
- Finding balance in boundaries allows us to be authentic and connected while also maintaining a sense of self.
- The truth teller in the family system plays a vital role in bringing attention to harmful dynamics and promoting healing.
- Emotional weather in the family can impact children's emotional well-being and behavior.
- Codependency can hinder our ability to meet our own needs and can be addressed through self-attunement and internalized safety. Inner attunement and external support are crucial for healing and personal growth.
- Navigating uncertainty and anxiety requires self-compassion and external resources.
- Understanding the impact of environment and experience is essential in reframing family dysfunction.
- Empathy and understanding are key in working with families and healing intergenerational trauma.
- Forgiveness is a complex process that requires self-validation and setting boundaries is important for self-protection.
Chapters
03:13The Impact of Childhood Trauma on Parenting
05:33 Understanding the Inner Child
08:07 Attachment Styles and Insecure Attachment
09:35 The Impact of Socially Sanctioned Parenting Methods
12:28 Finding Balance in Boundaries
13:59 The Importance of Secure Attachment
16:20 Healing Our Own Attachment Patterns
21:28 The Impact of Emotional Weather on Children
25:03 Codependency and Recovery
32:29 Choosing Self and Internalized Safety
34:21 The Emergence of Inner Attunement
35:17 The Importance of Community Support
36:13 Balancing Inner Validation and External Support
37:21 Navigating Uncertainty and Anxiety
38:06 The Need for Human Connection and Touch
38:33 Reframing Family Dysfunction
39:30 Understanding the Impact of Environment and Experience
40:27 Empathy and Understanding for Parents
41:22 Compassion for Our Family System
42:00 The Impact of Trauma on Development
42:30 Cynicism vs Understanding in Working with Families
43:23 Trusting Intuition and Making Connections
44:16 Exploring Connections and Creativity
44:28 The Power of Symbolic Imagery
45:17 The Complexity of Forgiveness
46:13 Working with Parts and Setting Boundaries
47:11 Being Present for Inner Child Healing
48:32 Navigating Relationships with Parents
50:12 Accessing Inner Strength and Protection
52:08 The Importance of Self-Compassion
53:38 Moving from the Brain to the Body
55:16 The Lifelong Process of Healing
56:00 Radical Acceptance and Setting Boundaries
57:36 Being Gentle with Ourselves
59:07 Learning from Life's Unfolding Experiences
01:00:37 Curiosity, Creativity, and Compassion
01:02:46 Releasing Energy and Moving Energetically
01:03:16 Gentleness and Understanding for Parents
You can connect with her, her wisdom and offerings at her Instagram account: https://www.instagram.com/sarahanntherapy/
