The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast ~ Hosted by Laurie Ellington ~ Poly-Coach – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with evolutionary guide Blake Zealear for a dynamic and expansive conversation on masculinity, feminism, queerness, and the future of love.

Blake shares his journey as a queer, pansexual practitioner working at the intersection of men's work, sacred sexuality, and non-traditional relationship design. Together, he and Laurie explore what it means to move beyond rigid identity boxes and into relational sovereignty.

They discuss shadow work, polarity, new-paradigm masculinity, and how healing our personal wounds contributes to cultural evolution. Blake speaks to the necessity of integrating feminism into men's work, dismantling shame around desire, and cultivating embodied leadership rooted in integrity rather than dominance.

This episode is an invitation to transmute suffering into power, reclaim erotic aliveness, and participate consciously in the emergence of a new culture of love.

• Two-spirit and queer perspectives in men's work

• Integrating feminism into masculinity work

• Sacred sexuality beyond labels

• Shadow work and relational sovereignty

• Non-traditional relationship design

• Polarity and embodied leadership

• Transmuting shame into power

• Evolving love beyond old paradigms
  
  

Blake Zealear is an evolutionary guide working at the intersection of men's work, feminism, sacred sexuality, and new-paradigm relating. Identifying as two-spirit, queer, and pansexual, Blake brings a multi-faceted perspective to his teaching that invites empowerment, permission, and playfulness.

His multidisciplinary background includes embodiment, NLP, Radical Honesty, Landmark technology, tantric and yogic practices, breathwork, shamanic sexuality, shadow work, polarity work, and Spiral Dynamics. Blake is devoted to the emergence of a new culture of love and the healing of our relationships to ourselves, one another, and the Earth.

• Website: https://blakezealear.com/

• Men's work and new-paradigm relating programs
  
  

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with sacred sexuality pioneer Laurie Handlers for a candid, powerful conversation about embodied legacy, erotic vitality, and living what you teach.

With over four decades of experience guiding people through sexuality, shame, and consciousness work, Laurie reflects on her early curiosity about the body, her first encounters with tantra in the 1990s, and the radical life transformation that followed. What began as a personal search became a lifelong devotion to embodiment, emotional release, and ecstatic living.

Together, they explore what it truly means to hold power responsibly as a facilitator, why integrity and repair matter in community spaces, and how living in alignment creates a natural legacy. Laurie shares how sexual energy is creative life force, why emotional release is foundational, and how tantra is both spiritual practice and chemistry.

The conversation also touches on aging, menopause, biohacking, erotic renaissance, and the myth of "happily ever after." Laurie reminds listeners that walking this path will disrupt your life, and that once body, mind, and spirit are integrated, you cannot unsee that truth.

• Discovering tantra and transforming an entire life

• Embodied legacy as living your truth consistently

• Why facilitators must live what they teach

• Repair, accountability, and community healing

• Sexual energy as creative life force

• Emotional release as a non-negotiable foundation

• Ecstasy as daily practice, not peak performance

• Aging, menopause, and erotic renaissance

• The myth of happily ever after

• "I come with a surgeon general's warning. I will disrupt your life."

Laurie Handlers, MA, is an international speaker, bestselling author, and world-renowned teacher of sacred sexuality. For more than 40 years, she has guided people to release sexual shame, reclaim pleasure, and live in embodied truth.

She is the author of Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy and Sex & Happiness: It Gets Better with Age, both Amazon international bestsellers. A senior facilitator with the International School of Temple Arts (ISTA), Laurie has led retreats and trainings in over 50 countries.

With humor, candor, and fierce compassion, she invites people into a world where erotic freedom is essential, not optional.

• Laurie Handlers: https://lauriehandlers.com

• Free Boundaries Workbook (via her website)

• Sex & Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy: https://lauriehandlers.com/sex-and-happiness-order 

• Sex & Happiness: It Gets Better with Age book: https://lauriehandlers.com/sex-and-happiness-book-new

• Inner Circle Membership : https://lauriehandlers.com/inner-circle?utm_source=Instagram&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=Inner+Circle 

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie talks with sex educator and consent pioneer Reid Mihalko about navigating group social sexual spaces with more confidence and care. They explore how to prepare for play parties and retreats, understand different party cultures, and have clearer safer sex conversations.

Reid shares practical tools for staying grounded, finding the right community for your nervous system, and using humor and consent to create connection instead of pressure. This episode is for anyone curious about or already exploring group erotic spaces.

• Preparing for play parties and group spaces
• Understanding different play party cultures
• Consent practices and welcome circles
• Safer sex conversations that build trust
• Staying grounded in high-energy environments
• Humor as a tool for easing awkwardness
• Aftercare and integration after events
• The Embrace the Awkward approach to initiation

As seen on NETFLIX' "Chelsea Does..." alongside Chelsea Handler, Reid Mihalko (he/him) of ReidAboutSex.com is an internationally known sex and relationship geek who threw an orgy for Oprah's OWN Network on Lisa Ling's "Our America." He has led thousands of workshops and play parties, and his work has been covered by media outlets across 7 continents. His charisma and easy to understand, pragmatic advice has helped people at virtual and in-person events. His workshops and college lectures have been attended by over 60,000 people from across the globe.

Reid would also like you to know that, in early 2018, some very brave people came forward during #MeToo sharing harms that Reid had caused them. Reid stepped down from teaching and initiated a transformative justice-based accountability process to address his misconduct and make amends if and where possible. The formal, year-long process along with Reid's apology and resources were shared publicly and can be found at TinyURL.com/reidaccountability.

Follow @ReidAboutSex on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.

• Reid Mihalko's Play Party Resources: https://www.reidaboutsex.com/playparty 

• Sex Geek Summer Camp

• Consent and communication education by Reid Mihalko

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie: Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with modern tantra teacher Shawn Roop, founder of Tantra Quest, for a grounded and expansive conversation on presence as a lived practice, and not a performance.

Shawn shares his unconventional path into tantra and how his work, rooted in Mahamudra Tantra, focuses on removing what's in the way rather than adding more techniques. Together, they explore why pleasure is impossible without presence, how maturity creates safety in open and non-traditional relationships, and why designing relationships from inner truth matters more than following external blueprints.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, return to the body's intelligence, and let presence guide intimacy, sexuality, and relationship choice.

• Tantra as something you remember, not something you learn
• Presence as the foundation of pleasure and intimacy
• Removing obstacles instead of adding techniques
• Maturity vs. "safety" in open and polyamorous relationships
• Designing relationships from inner truth
• Embodiment as awareness, feeling, and action
• Why pacing and sobriety of mind create sustainability

Shawn Roop is the founder of Tantra Quest and a modern tantra teacher with over 25 years of embodied experience. Rooted in Mahamudra Tantra, his work is direct, grounded, and practical, supporting people in reconnecting with the intelligence of their body, energy, and awareness.

Shawn works with individuals, couples, and teachers through classes, private sessions, and immersive programs. His teaching emphasizes presence over performance, empowerment over dependency, and removing what's in the way so people can access their own inner wisdom and live more truth-aligned lives.

• Tantra Quest: https://tantraquest.com/

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

Free Resource:
Inspired by this conversation about presence? Download The Pause Method, Laurie's free guide to slowing down, clearing what's in the way, and meeting relationship moments with embodied awareness.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie speaks with Dr. Betty Martin, creator of the Wheel of Consent and founder of the School of Consent, about what it truly means to practice consent with clarity, presence, and integrity.

Dr. Martin shares the origin of the Wheel of Consent and the Three Minute Game, offering a grounded framework for understanding desire, choice, and responsibility. Together, they explore the difference between consent and permission, why receiving can be more challenging than giving, and how learning who an interaction is for can transform sex, relationships, kink, tantra, and everyday life.

This episode is a foundational conversation for anyone wanting to relate more honestly to desire, boundaries, and embodied truth.

• The origin story of the Wheel of Consent

• The Three Minute Game and why it is more than a simple exercise

• Why consent and permission are not the same thing

• Learning to recognize who an interaction is actually for

• Why receiving can be harder than giving

• Asking for what you want as a vulnerable and essential skill

• Erotic integrity as telling the truth about desire

• Applications of the Wheel of Consent beyond sexuality, including business and social systems

• Why slowing down and tracking sensation creates depth and presence

Dr. Betty Martin has worked hands-on with people professionally for over 40 years. Her background includes 30 years as a chiropractor and practitioner of other body-based modalities, followed by 15 years as a somatic sex educator and surrogate partner therapist. Her work is also informed by Contact Improvisation and embodied play practices.

She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a groundbreaking model of receiving and giving that began with touch and now extends far beyond it into relationships, leadership, sexuality, and everyday life. Dr. Martin is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent.

Betty spent years traveling internationally teaching a five-day Wheel of Consent training for practitioners, later training others to teach the work so she could step back from full-time instruction. She now mentors helping professionals across many fields, including psychotherapists, sex workers, and hands-on practitioners of all kinds.

• School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org

• Free educational videos by Dr. Betty Martin

• The Art of Receiving and Giving by Dr. Betty Martin

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoachingWork with Laurie: Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with psychologist and somatic practitioner Dr. Stacy Ellis for a rich conversation about trauma, embodiment, nervous system regulation, and what it takes to create real, lasting change.

Together, they explore how healing happens beyond talk therapy, why working with the body is essential for transformation, and how alternative relationship structures, sexuality, and conscious practices intersect with trauma-informed care. Dr. Ellis shares insights from her clinical work, group facilitation, and immersive workshops that help people move out of old patterns and into embodied presence.

This episode is an invitation to slow down, reconnect with the body, and approach healing as an integrated, whole-person experience.

• Why embodiment is essential for trauma healing

• Moving beyond talk therapy into somatic change

• Nervous system regulation and childhood conditioning

• Integrating psychology with body-based practices

• Supporting authentic expression and relational health

• Creating sustainable change through immersive work

• Healing as a present-moment, embodied process

Dr. Stacy Ellis is a Doctor of Psychology, somatic practitioner, and international facilitator devoted to supporting deep personal transformation. With over fifteen years of clinical experience and a decade of leading ongoing groups, her work weaves together psychology, nervous system regulation, and embodied practices.

Dr. Ellis is trauma-informed and trained in modalities including EMDR, IFS, TRE, EFT, NLP, somatic therapies, breathwork, and sound healing. She specializes in trauma, inner child work, LGBTQIA+ care, addiction medicine, alternative relationship styles, and cultivating a healthy nervous system. Her workshops and immersive experiences support people in moving out of old conditioning and into authentic, embodied living.

• Liberation Workshops: https://liberationworkshops.com/

• Website: https://drstacyellis.com/

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this opening episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie invites you into a raw and embodied exploration of why we are drawn to the edges of love, desire, and power. Through her personal journey with polyamory, tantra, conscious kink, plant medicine, and nervous system wisdom, she reflects on how "playing with fire" becomes a path of truth, liberation, and deep self-return.

Laurie shares how years in ethical non-monogamy, periods of intentional solitude, and immersive experiences in tantra, BDSM, and ceremony shaped her relationship to intimacy, safety, and surrender. This episode sets the foundation for the season, opening a conversation about sacred sexuality, conscious relationships, and learning to meet intensity with presence rather than control.

• Why desire often leads us to the edges of growth

• Fire as a metaphor for truth, transformation, and intimacy

• Lessons from ethical non-monogamy and conscious uncoupling

• Tantra and kink as practices of presence and nervous system safety

• Learning to surrender without losing yourself

• Integration as the bridge between insight and embodied change

Laurie Ellington is a trauma-informed poly coach, intimacy guide, and educator devoted to conscious relating, sacred sexuality, and embodied transformation. With over a decade of experience in polyamory, tantra, and kink-aware coaching, her work supports people in navigating desire, attachment, power, and nervous system regulation with honesty and care.

Laurie's approach weaves together somatic awareness, relational skills, and spiritual inquiry to help clients meet intensity without bypassing, suppressing, or self-abandoning. She works with individuals and couples exploring ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, tantra, and conscious kink, offering a grounded path toward deeper trust, freedom, and connection.

Website: https://poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with sex educator, activist, and author Kitty Stryker for a powerful conversation about consent culture, accountability, and building collective care that is actually sustainable.

Kitty shares how her early activism shaped her worldview and how repeated burnout led her to rethink what community truly means. Together, Laurie and Kitty explore how consent culture extends far beyond sexual spaces into workplaces, organizing spaces, polyamory, and everyday power dynamics.

They discuss why saying no is an act of trust, how to hold conflict without collapsing into punishment or exile, and why accountability must include pathways for repair. Kitty also introduces the concept of scrupulosity, a compulsive drive to prove moral righteousness, and how recognizing it can reduce anxiety and create more grounded activism.

This episode invites listeners to reconsider individualism, redefine community as mutual investment, and build systems that honor capacity, consent, and shared responsibility.

• From childhood activism to consent culture work

• Burnout and choosing sustainable lanes of impact

• Consent culture beyond sex and kink

• Reframing no as an affirmation of autonomy

• Collective care as self-care

• Healthy conflict vs. conflict avoidance

• Accountability without exile or endless punishment

• Scrupulosity and anxiety-driven righteousness

• Redefining community as shared investment and mutual responsibility
  
  

Kitty Stryker has been working to define and build consent culture for over a decade. Based in Berkeley, CA, she focuses on bringing conversations about consent, critical thinking, disability justice, and sustainable activism into everyday life.

She is the author of Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook and Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out, published by Thornapple Press. Kitty is an anarchist street medic, community organizer, and long-time advocate for trauma-aware accountability practices.

• Follow Kitty on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kitty_stryker/ and on BlueSky

• Love Rebels: How I Learned to Burn It Down Without Burning Out
  

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with tantra pioneer and Urban Tantra founder Barbara Carrellas for a powerful conversation on queer tantra, erotic inclusivity, and ecstatic possibility.

Barbara shares how her work was born during the AIDS crisis in New York City alongside Annie Sprinkle and Joseph Kramer, and how that moment shaped her lifelong commitment to inclusive erotic spirituality. Together, Laurie and Barbara explore what it means to create brave spaces for all bodies, genders, orientations, and abilities, and how curiosity is the foundation of authentic connection.

They discuss breath and energy orgasms, the orgasm spectrum, leadership and power dynamics in teaching, the intersection of safety and risk, and why joy and humor are gateways to spirit. Barbara also shares insights from her upcoming book, The Book of Ecstasy, and offers listeners access to her guided breath and energy orgasm practice.

This episode is a reminder that ecstasy is available to anybody with breath and a beating heart, and that desire can be sacred without being sanitized.

• The origins of Urban Tantra during the AIDS crisis

• Classical tantra vs. contemporary neo-tantra

• Queer as curiosity and invitation

• Creating brave spaces through agreements and consent

• The "Oops/Ouch" and WAIT leadership principles

• The orgasm spectrum beyond genital release

• Breath and energy orgasms as accessible ecstatic practice

• Why ecstasy lives at the intersection of safety and risk

• Values, needs, and desire in polyamorous relationships

Barbara Carrellas is the author of the first LGBTQ+-inclusive tantric sex guide, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty First Century. She has also written Ecstasy is Necessary and Luxurious Loving.

Barbara is the founder of Urban Tantra®, an all-gender, all-sexual-preferences-welcome approach to sacred sexuality that blends practices from Tantra to BDSM. She has been named Best Tantric Sex Seminar Leader in New York City by Time Out/NY and received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Sexual Freedom Awards in London.

• Barbara Carrellas: https://barbaracarrellas.com

• Guided Breath & Energy Orgasm Meditation (audio practice)

• Urban Tantra by Barbara Carrellas on Amazon

• The Book of Ecstasy (releasing August 2026)

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.

In this episode of The Poly Tantra Kink Podcast, Laurie Ellington sits down with educator and writer Om Rupani for a provocative and unfiltered conversation about erotic polarity, power dynamics, and the true nature of eros in modern relationships.

Together, they explore how desire, dominance, submission, and containment function beyond ideology and polite conversation. Om challenges common narratives around feminism, empowerment, and modern man–woman relating, offering a perspective rooted in what he has observed actually works in real bodies and real relationships.

This conversation dives into the transformative potential of BDSM and tantric containers when approached with integrity, humility, and responsibility. Laurie and Om discuss why eros cannot be used as a bargaining chip, how catharsis and healing can emerge through properly held erotic experiences, and what both men and women must reclaim to restore sustainable polarity and intimacy.

• Erotic polarity and the nature of eros

• Power, dominance, and submission beyond performance

• Why eros cannot be used as a means to an end

• Containment and responsibility in BDSM and tantra

• Catharsis, trauma release, and erotic healing

• Modern masculinity, femininity, and relational exhaustion

• Why respect and polarity are essential for desire

• Letting go of agendas to allow transformation

Om Rupani is an educator and writer specializing in eros, power dynamics, and man–woman relating. He teaches internationally on intimacy, BDSM, and polarity, and is known for his direct, provocative approach to subjects many people avoid.

Om's work focuses on how desire, dominance, receptivity, and erotic integrity actually function in lived relationships. His teachings invite people to move beyond ideology and surface-level empowerment into deeper responsibility, embodiment, and truth within erotic and relational dynamics.

• Website: https://omrupani.com

• Om Rupani (essays, videos, courses): https://omrupani.org

Website: poly-coach.com
Instagram: @polycoaching

Work with Laurie:
Explore coaching for polyamory, open relationships, tantra, sacred sexuality, and conscious kink.