The Coaching Leader - by IntelliCoach – Details, episodes & analysis

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In this episode, I’m sharing a pattern I’ve noticed among leaders over the years—the tendency to copy routines of high-profile CEOs, hoping it will lead to success. Imagine a new team lead like Maria, trying out productivity apps, waking up at 4:30 a.m., and reading a book every week, all because she saw her favorite CEO do it. After a few weeks, she’s exhausted and feeling like a failure. What Maria doesn’t realize is that these habits reflect the CEOs' current lifestyles, not what helped them get there in the first place.

Main Ideas:

●        Why copying senior leaders’ habits can set you up for frustration.

●        How “empathy gaps” make it hard for top leaders to remember the struggles of early roles.

●        The power of "next-level mentoring"—learning from people who’ve just overcome the challenges you’re facing.

●        Practical ways to connect with mentors who can share relevant, real-time advice.

I’ve found that getting guidance from someone just a step ahead—someone who has recently dealt with similar hurdles—often makes a bigger impact. These mentors can offer advice that’s fresher, more practical, and in tune with your current reality.

If you’re curious about finding the right mentors who truly understand your journey, I think you’ll find this episode especially helpful.

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In this episode, I’m sharing something I’ve been reflecting on lately—how being in a leadership position can sometimes create a tricky dynamic when it comes to giving advice. When I was a compliance manager, my team often came to me for guidance. I used to think I was helping by sharing my thoughts, but now I wonder if I might have been unintentionally influencing their decisions.

 

Main Ideas:

●        The hidden dynamics when team members seek advice from managers.

●        Why sharing your thoughts as a leader might create a conflict of interest.

●        How adopting a "ask first, share later" approach can transform your leadership style.

●        Practical examples and strategies to encourage independent thinking and decision-making within your team.

 

I’ve noticed that when I’ve taken a step back and asked my team for their thoughts first, it seems to open up more opportunities for growth and ownership. This approach feels like a good way to support them without unintentionally leading them in a particular direction.

 

If you’re curious about how asking first could change your interactions with your team, I think you’ll find this episode insightful.

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In this episode, I'll share my personal experience on the power of using a strength-based approach to leadership. Initially, I treated each person in my team equally, then I discovered the value of leveraging individual talents and strengths to better help my team succeed. From this, came The Personal SWOT Model of assessing individual strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. This model helps managers understand each team member better and support individuals in their development while building up the entire team. By focusing on strengths and mitigating weaknesses, we can help individuals excel and our team to achieve more.    Main ideas: ●        Understanding that strengths and weaknesses are internal factors, while opportunities and threats are external. ●        Focusing on strengths to help individuals excel and mitigate weaknesses. ●        Asking specific questions to uncover strengths and weaknesses in team members. ●        Leveraging opportunities with strengths and mitigating threats by addressing weaknesses. ●        Using the Personal SWOT model to structure conversations and guide team members' development effectively. ●        Allowing team members to use their strengths in problem-solving to help them shine.   Take charge of your team's success today! Start by asking about their natural strengths and enjoyable aspects of work to uncover valuable insights. Identify tasks for delegation and address challenges with relevant skills to fuel growth.   Learn how the Personal SWOT model can transform your team's performance and drive success. Listen in and empower your team for a brighter future!

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Podcast show notes: I often see Leaders wanting to go full in right away when they learned some fundamental executing skills. Of course, coaching has incredible value. But most people get disappointed about the impact of their first steps. Instead of pulling off perfect coaching conversations right out of the gate (which no one really can), I suggest that we instead focus on small concrete steps that can be built right into our existing conversations. Introducing coaching in our Leader day is more likely to succeed if our first steps build on what is already there and
don't change elements too radically. Coach first, then Advise (rather than the other way around) One of the simplest methods to introduce the idea of coaching is to change the order of the typical conversation elements we have in meetings and 1-1s. When asked for our opinion, we often tell what we think and only then remember to ask what their opinion and recommendation might be. I recommend to simply reverse that order. It will instantly turn that moment in a coaching moment.  Yes, we might lose our position in the limelight and give up control of the conversation. We might also (if we really admit it) feel the lost opportunity of shining in the limelight, especially if our team member coincidentally comes up with the same idea we had. However, don't this reversal will be a big contributor to motivation if they follow through on their own ideas. For most of us, this means to focus our attention on the exact moment when we are being asked for advice. If we give in to our reflexes, we will simply say what comes to mind for us...which is typically some dose of well-meant advice. If we manage to wait just a few seconds (count to 5) instead, you should be able to have your prefrontal cortex back in control. You will be able to step back a little and ask at least one question to buy you more time to think: 'What do you recommend?' After all, you don't want to waste time giving advice that your team member has already considered and knows does not work. You want to make sure you focus the conversation use the available time really well. The question on recommendation is very powerful to achieve that. Enjoy the experimentation!

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Today's podcast is a background toolkit that aims to bring you into a position where you can answer the question: Is Coaching a proven way to help? Why do I include this? Coaching is often still seen as a technique that is 'soft' and optional; as a Leader who starts using coaching skills, you will often get into the situation where you might have to 'win over' someone to give it a try. In these situations, it is helpful to have a few powerful arguments ready why coaching is so useful and practically made to help the typical human mind execute faster and with more conviction. So what are those three points?
(1) Coaching follows exactly the way Neuroscience describes Learning. It is also effective as it is aligned to agreed adult learning principles. Sustainable Learnings happens when the Learner/Coachee construct their own solution
(2) Coaching is designed to build and expand internal motivation. It supports that by giving people autonomy, a chance of mastery and seeing purpose in their way of proceeding.
(3) Expectation: The mindset of the Leader Coach plays a major role. If I expect nothing much from my coachee, nothing much is likely to happen. If I am in the mindset of seeing them capable, I act differently. Our mindset helps create our reality. (1) Learning (1A) The Neuroscience of Learning supports Coaching as a way to help people generate something new
Coaching in designed to ignite an insight in the person we talk to. We can call this a learning moment. One Neuroscience describes Learning through the AGES model (Source: David Rock's Popular Neuroscience Book: Your Brain at Work) A - Attention
G - Generate a mental map
E - Emotion
S - Spaced Repetition This way, coaching serves the so-called three H's:
- Head: What we need to know
- Heart: What we want to feel
- Hands: What we should do (1B) Adult Learning: Coaching fits snugly into the accepted ways how adults learn - also called andragogy (vs pedagogy).
- Self-Concept: Adult Learners are more self-directed in their Learning
- Experience: Adults have experience and accumulated resources. Learning that taps and builds on what is there, is likely to 'stick' better and longer.
- Readiness to Learn: Adults are likely to be ready for learning in respect to their social roles; Coaching is highly related to this. 
- Orientation to Learn: Adults usually look for Learning that can be applied in their actual environment. Adults usually learn better when it is scenario-focused and almost immediately applicable, rather than postponed.
- Motivation to Learn: When people mature, their motivation to learn becomes increasingly internal. (1C) Constructivism (I know..5000$ word. don't run away yet!)
- It simply means that we know that reality is constructed in every individual
- even if the person you talk to seems on the wrong path to you, whatever they do makes sense to them in the very moment. Otherwise they would not act the way they do
- when we coach, we have to accept that fundamental reality of the other person as true.
- this requires us to perceive it without judgement, even though it might be different to our own opinion.
- it also means that any change that the other person should own with conviction also must make complete sense to them.
- to have the highest chance for success in making a change, we should help people 'construct' their own solution as much as possible. This is exactly what coaching is designed to do really well. (2) Motivation Theory
Dan Pink in is his great book 'Drive' brings it home well:
- External drivers for motivation are simply outdated. Carrot and Stick can only bring us so far in helping people unlock all the potential in them. 
- To be motivated to walk their own path and find their own solutions, they need to have Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose.
- When we use coaching skills as a Leader, we specifically think about where we can give autonomy to our team member. (3) Expectation Biases
- The Pygmalion effect: high expectations lead to higher performance
- The complementary Golem effect: low expectations lead to lower performance
- Self-fulfilling prophecy: That's why the coaching mindset is so central. The way we show up as a Leader makes a huge difference in the way to come across. 
- this is compounded and increased further through confirmation biases. Once we made up our mind what to expect, we automatically look for it and find evidence that supports our belief Enjoy!

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Today is our very first 'Great Question' episode. These are small skill-based episode sprinkled in every now and then. They dive deeper into one powerful question, how and why it works and it what context we can use it. This time we ask the question "What will make this conversation useful to you?". It is a simple, yet powerful way to help to direct and to sharpen the focus of the conversation we are about to have. It is also a great way to hand over ownership and trust to the other person to tell us what they have in mind. Counterintuitively maybe, asking this question becomes more useful, the less time we have for a conversation. Value is in the eye of the receiver, and it is important that we give focus on that.

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This is the second part of a two-part series on solving. In the first part (check out Episode 3) we looked at why we love solving so much. In this episode, we talk about what the downside of solving might be. Now, solving has its valid place; there are situations when it is simply appropriate to tell people what to do, i.e. in a case of training someone, or if there is really high urgency or risk. However, if we solve when we have to, there is opportunity cost...and this is what we will discuss here. What do we miss out when it could be a coachable moment, but we don't coach? What is the downside of solving? 1. We create a dependency on us, sabotaging our intent to have team members perform more independently 2. People learn very little when given a solution on a silver plate. 3. Ownership. When we advise, the solution is 'owned' by the person who gave the advice. There is not much space for the advisee to develop provide over the solution
Advising often leads to more advising, because of the dependency that exists. The flipside of that coin is those team members who were given advice may come back again and again, asking for more, costing us more time. 4. Incomplete information leading to a poor solution. Very likely, when we solve for team members as a Leader, we solve from a point of incomplete information. Up until now, we simply assumed that a solution from a Leader would be a sound one. However, given the nature of the situation, we usually provide advise, based on what worked in the past and accept that we don't have full oversight. However, this can lead to premature decisions...when the most knowledgeable person sits right in front of us! 5. Solving the wrong problem. Very often we solve well as a Leader, but while we do so, we don't actually address the actual challenge that the person in front of us has. Rule of thumb: Whatever is brought to you first is likely not the real challenge that the person has. We can find out by asking the very powerful question: what's the real challenge here for you? 6. Adding too much value. Sometimes, our solution is good, but by providing it to help improve someone else's ideas, we might reduce their ownership of it. This is especially important for Leader Coaches. Given their positional power, adding too much value is a constant danger. 7. By providing a solution first, you automatically set a solution 'anchor' for them. So what can we do? Here is a little experiment: Let's not focus on becoming a perfect coach in that next question. Instead, let's ask ourselves the question: how can I be a little more 'coach-like' in my next conversation?

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This episode is part 1 of a 2 part series on the question why we love solving problems so much. We explore some very interesting basic human tendencies that are well-meant but have less than a positive result. A perfect example of positive intent that leads to a negative impact. Why are often so quick to tell other people what they are supposed to do? 1. We genuinely want to help! It's instinctive.
2. It helps us rely on our knowledge and expertise; we tap into our resources and the reasons for our seniority
3. It helps us to feel valued and appreciated and accepted.
4. We feel the need to help the person in front of us right away! They need help NOW! There is no time to ask questions.
5. Giving advise keeps us in control of the conversation.
6. Solving something right away gives us a feeling of closure. No more open ends.
7. Solving right away feels fast! Listen in to hear all that and more!

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Before we move into any actual coaching skills on this podcast, we have to talk about the very foundation without which our entire effort would backfire: The Coaching Mindset.
Don't get carried away by the apparent 'softness' that the term mindset implies. The Coaching mindset is absolutely essential. Without it, we will come across as inauthentic, false or even deceptive, even if we do our best to ask powerful questions and listen. Why? If we don't believe that the person in front of us can figure things out, we should not coach. We should rather examine what holds us back from that belief and potentially as a Leader move into a different kind of conversation that is not coaching. Listen in to learn more!


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In this very first episode of the Coaching Leader Podcast, Maik looks at the question why anyone would want to coach! We especially fill the term itself with life. We learn that there is a very special and powerful place for coaching in organizations. If Leaders know how to coach well, they will have an outsized effect in getting access to the ideas and motivations of their people. Tip: Stay until the end..there might be a little extra content after the outro music!

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