Struggle Care – Details, episodes & analysis

Join us for today’s interesting conversation about ethics, boundaries, suffering, bullying, and being online/offline. There are many facets to these topics as they intertwine with morality, and we are diving into a discussion with Ellie Rushton,  Show Highlights: Ellie’s background, work, and TikTok content about “cultivating bold spaces” Ellie’s definition of bullying: “doing something harmful several times on purpose for the sake of someone’s suffering” Thoughts on bullying and why people do it Holding someone accountable vs. bullying—what’s the difference? Ellie’s perspective on online comments to others’ content Thoughts on the roots of inequality, oppression, and suffering—and the problem with categorizing “good” and “bad” people People are afraid of embodying compassion. What is effective in online spaces Thoughts about boundaries, revenge, and retribution Standing up for what you believe while holding yourself accountable Resources and Links: Connect with Ellie: TikTok Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🌟 Taking a Break! 🌟 Hey everyone! I am taking a short break for August to recharge and prepare exciting new content for you. I’ll be back in September with fresh episodes and engaging conversations. Thanks for your support and patience. Stay tuned for what’s coming next! Today, we are covering an important topic today, but maybe not in the way you expect. I’m joined by Rachel Mulholland (aka Shug CM), a therapist whom I met on TikTok because of her incredible content around sex education for children. Today’s focus is on how our lives as adults are impacted if we don’t get comprehensive sex education as children. Join us for the conversation! Show Highlights: How KC’s story from her teenage years illustrates the gaps that most people have in their education about sex and the fact that sex ed is NOT a one-time conversation How “purity culture” is impacting teenagers in certain places in the US in damaging ways How even most comprehensive sex ed doesn’t address the pleasurable side of sex–and (for females) that the pleasure doesn’t have to come from another person How sexual predators take advantage of the lack of information in sex ed from SAFE places Why parents have real fear about talking to their kids about sex ed The effects of NOT educating kids that sex and pleasure don’t always go together Rachel’s Four Pillars of Safe Sex: confirmation, communication, lubrication, and enthusiastic participation Why parents should be aware when their kids are ready to hear and learn–and begin at the most basic level appropriate for their age How to answer those first little-kid questions around, “Where do babies come from?” Why curiosity is a foundational part of body talk for kids–not just around sexuality How parents can work through their own feelings around sex ed with their children Why Rachel’s next project is a book about body talk Resources: Connect with Rachel: TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, and Website (coming soon!) Recommended by Rachel: How Do You Make A Baby by Anna Fiske Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Website  Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, you’ll hear from three guests about their autism experience and their perspectives on common stereotypes about autism around communication, relationships, and more. This is a bonus follow-up to our most recent episode about autism with Kaelynn Partlow. Join us as we explore autism further with Syd, Atlas, and Sapphire. I’m happy to have them here to share their insights.  Show Highlights: Meet Syd, a 22-year-old post-grad student who is self-diagnosed as autistic and ADHD: Thoughts on relationships, unmasking, and “quality over quantity”  Being yourself in a world that isn’t always welcoming to your kind Cultivating a special (and rare!) interest in learning and education Meet Atlas, who was self-diagnosed at age 16: Identifying with autistic characters on a favorite TV show What it’s like to pick up on other people’s perceptions of your weirdness Autistic traits that Atlas recognized from childhood about obsessive routines Meet Sapphire, who was identified as autistic in 5th grade but not diagnosed until age 19: Nuances around communication, conversations, and awkward silences The common misunderstandings about what a relationship with an autistic person can be like Using an “Excel spreadsheet in my brain” to catalog each person Relationships and the need for “alone time” to decompress Sapphire’s advice to parents who are hesitant to have their child tested/diagnosed Resources and Links: Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I have the perfect person to answer a question about “trauma cleaning” as a result of being raised by a parent who was emotionally and verbally abusive about keeping a clean house. This question came from Maria, a TikTok follower, and I’m jumping into this topic in today’s episode with my guest, Amanda Dodson. Join us! Show Highlights: Why this is a common feeling for many people when they sense barriers around care tasks A good first step: Try to separate the behavioral home care task from the interpersonal problem with the parent Why you have to decide how YOU want your home to be for your own comfort and safety–not how your parent would want it to be Why it’s important to have compassion for yourself and awareness of what you need in your space to function well How to identify what you need from your space and use a triage approach to get there How to have your environment and emotions “meet” at a halfway point How to take small steps toward organizing that work for you and your family Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you joined us for Episode 7, you heard the beginning of my series with Kate. If not, you can listen to Part 1 on the Restoring Relationships Podcast. Kate and I met because of our differing viewpoints as we interacted through TikTok videos. We have since taken the time for discussion, proving that disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life that should be approached with mutual respect and understanding.  I’m continuing the conversation with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore   relationships. Even though our relationship didn’t begin well, we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. The ability to gain a fresh perspective and engage with another person in the face of disagreement is an important topic in today’s world! Listen in and be the “fly on the wall” as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look! Show Highlights: Why KC’s initial reaction to Kate was aggravation The idea behind KC’s context: “How people treat you when they are angry is more revealing than how they treat you when they are happy.” The idea behind Kate’s context: “Anger isn’t necessarily the issue, but the lack of repair after the anger is the issue.” What our backgrounds and upbringings teach us about anger, hurt, abuse, relationships, and our worthiness Why it’s different trying to communicate to the masses, like online, rather than on a one-to-one basis in a relationship What Kate wishes she had done differently in her initial exchange with KC Why we should be able to expect creators, especially those with expertise, to be accountable for their words Why it’s tricky to make mental health content on social media Why therapy content can’t replace in-person therapy Thoughts on relationship boundaries, “gray areas,” and why “people are not disposable” The difference in “Setting boundaries” vs. “Being boundaried” Resources: Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, Podcast Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m offering up an appetizer–because today’s show is a teaser for an upcoming two-part episode. Disagreements, conflicts, and drama are part of normal life, but there CAN be mutual respect and understanding at the same time.  I’m talking with Kate Leggett, a student in her final semester of graduate school to be a Marriage and Family Therapist. Kate uses her TikTok channel to help restore relationships, and we became aware of each other because of a video exchange on TikTok. Our relationship certainly didn’t begin well, but we are making strides in communicating with respect and understanding around disagreements and conflicts. Come along as we model real-life conflict, relationships, and reconciliation. Join us for a closer look! Show Highlights: How Kate felt the need to fill in the gray area in relationships around boundaries and toxic relationships How online interactions can be transactional, personal, and very different with someone with whom you have a prior relationship A look at the TikTok videos that started the interaction between Kate and KC–and the thoughts behind the comments How people hold conflict in different and vulnerable ways How KC and Kate made space for deeper conversations around their conflict The difficulties around communication and conflict in the social media space An overview of Kate’s podcast, RR The Podcast, which you can find on YouTube and Spotify (Part 1 of Kate and KC’s conversation is up now!) Kate’s perspective on the much-used phrase, “You teach people how to treat you.” How to listen to the rest of our “respectful drama” Resources: Connect with Kate: Website, TikTok, Podcast Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss self-compassion. Is it a bad thing to have TOO MUCH self-compassion? Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you have too much stuff? As you look around your home, is it crowded and cluttered? Does your space make you feel burdened, unhappy, and frustrated? If you said–or shouted–YES, you can’t miss today’s show. Join me to learn more about gentle organizing.  Alison Lush is a Certified Professional Organizer, Certified Virtual Organizer, and Master Trainer. After a 20-year catering career, Alison knew she needed better organization and management skills for her home and personal comfort. She learned to live and shop intentionally, creating and protecting the space in her home. Now she puts her expertise to work in helping others by empowering them and teaching them to put themselves at the center of their organization efforts.  Show Highlights: How Alison became an organizer with a gentle spirit Why our interactions with our home, space, time, and belongings form the foundations of our lives Why Alison’s focus is on “organic organizing” Alison’s answer to a question sent in by Samantha about dealing with clutter, letting things go, and the functionality of her space How to organize your space by using Zone 1, Zone 2, and Zone 3—and consider the frequency of access for each item Ways to keep, honor, and display memorabilia by identifying the risk level in letting items go How to consider the purpose of items in our lives in deciding to keep them or let them go Alison’s answer to a question from Kitty about decorating, a sense of style, and learning to feel good about her space How to reframe what might look crappy and rundown to you as a life well-lived, meaningful, and full of love Why your decor should fuel you and recharge your batteries Alison’s answer to a question from Aria about separating and managing work life and home life How to legitimize, categorize, and systemize your space for the best functionality Why the professional organizing industry has the reputation of telling people to “just get rid of your stuff” Resources: Connect with Alison: www.alisonlush.ca and TikTok    Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, we start with my take on a question that I get asked almost every day about how to keep from losing motivation to complete tasks, especially those simple ones like cleaning a room. If you’ve beaten yourself up over this struggle, then join me for a fresh perspective on cleaning your space!  Show Highlights: Why losing motivation to clean a room comes down to not realizing that tidying, organizing, and cleaning are three different projects What is required to “tidy a room”: a five-step method How organizing differs from tidying and cleaning What the cleaning process entails Why there’s nothing wrong with being a neat or messy person, but a functional level of organization is essential How the tasks of tidying, organizing, and cleaning bring emotional barriers, especially for those with executive function disorders Why we need to remember that these care tasks are morally neutral–and the only reason to do them is so we can function better Resources: Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to another episode of Struggle Care! In our first episode, you heard my conversation with Dr. Lesley Cook about executive functioning. Because she has so much great information and wisdom to share, I decided to bring her back to discuss how to navigate care tasks specifically for ADHD adults and kids. Join us for the conversation with Dr. Lesley! Dr. Lesley Cook is a psychologist who does a lot of work with ADHD and other neurodivergencies. Born and raised in Hawaii, she now lives in Virginia and works with children, adolescents, adults, couples, and families.  Show Highlights: How to find the balance between the message of self-compassion and the need for better life management and progress A basic understanding of self-compassion from Dr. Kristin Neff’s writings A closer look at shame and how we experience it in relation to self-compassion How to gently shift shame into self-compassion How self-compassion can become a learned behavior that we pass down to our children Resources:  Connect with Dr. Lesley: TikTok and Instagram Connect with KC: TikTok and Instagram Get KC's Book, How to Keep House While Drowning Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices