Securely Attached – Details, episodes & analysis

Joining me this week is Dr. Peter Vermeulen, psychologist, author, and founder of Autism in Context. Peter has spent more than 35 years helping families, educators, and clinicians better understand autism and what it truly means to live a happy, meaningful life.

Together we explore:

- Why happiness and well-being deserve as much attention as therapies or interventions for autistic individuals - and what we can learn from autistic people who are thriving.

- How reframing "stereotyped interests" as passions and talents can open doors to meaning, confidence, and even careers.

- Why predictability is so essential for autistic children's sense of safety and how parents can build that into daily routines and relationships to foster a secure attachment bond.

- Just like you feed your child before they get hangry, how parents can "pre-regulate" their child's nervous system throughout the day to prevent overload, meltdowns, and dysregulation.

- Why autistic children absolutely do form attachments — and how differences in communication and perception can lead to misunderstandings in connection, not an absence of it.

- Practical ways to nurture love and security (Spoiler: things like creating predictable rituals, using concrete symbols, establishing shared routines to strengthen your bond, and more!)

Peter's message is both deeply compassionate and hopeful: autistic individuals are capable of happiness, love, and purpose — and when we meet them with curiosity and respect for how their brains see the world, we can help them build lives filled with meaning and joy.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://petervermeulen.be/ 

🔗 Good Feeling Questionnaire

📚 Autism as Context Blindness

📚 Autism and The Predictive Brain

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@pedrovermeulen

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported — and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options for you and your child.

🔗 Leo Kanner and autism: a 75-year perspective

🔗Attachment and Autism Spectrum Disorder (Without Intellectual Disability) During Middle Childhood: In Search of the Missing Piece

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about neurodiverse brains and sleep with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about determining if a neuropsych evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episodes about Resources for Infant educarers with Deborah Carlisle Solomon

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode I talk about...

• How to handle Halloween candy without guilt, power struggles, or micromanaging.
• Strategies for finding that balance between restricting sweets while also allowing your child to enjoy the fun of the holiday.
• Why your own food anxieties might be showing up more than you realize — and how not to pass them on.
• How to use this as an opportunity to build trust, awareness, and healthy boundaries.
• Practical ways to help kids build awareness, self-control, and a healthy relationship with food that lasts long after Halloween.

If your feeling overwhelmed about just how you're going to approach trick-or-treating this year, this episode will help you cut through the noise, manage your own worries, and approach this holiday with more confidence.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

1. Check out my website: drsarahbren.com 

2. Follow me on Instagram: @drsarahbren 

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense by Ellyn Satter

🎧 Collaboration over control: Using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

🔗Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I help your child feel less scared of Halloween?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if you're giving in too much and becoming permissive

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if you have a kid who would never stop eating if you don't restrict their food intake 

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this episode, OT and interoception expert Kelly Mahler uncovers the 8th sense and dives into how interoception plays such a foundational role in children's ability to regulate their bodies, emotions, and behaviors.

Together, we discuss:

- What interoception is and how it impacts everything from toileting and eating to emotional regulation and social connection.

- Why some kids struggle to notice or interpret their body's signals and how this can show up as meltdowns, anxiety, or difficulties with attention.

- Practical, relational strategies parents can use at home to help kids strengthen interoceptive awareness through play, modeling, and curiosity.

- How occupational therapy can support children's sensory and emotional development beyond (spoiler: it's more than improving just handwriting or fine motor skills).

If you've ever wondered why your child seems to go from 0 to 100 in seconds, or why calming strategies don't always seem to "stick," this conversation will give you new insights and tools to help your child build lifelong regulation skills from the inside out.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 https://www.kelly-mahler.com/ 

📚 The Interoception Curriculum 

📱 Join the Interoception: The Eighth Sensory System Facebook Group

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱 @kelly_mahler

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages!

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about emotion regulation during the middle years with Alyssa Blask Campbell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sensory sensitivity with  The OT Butterfly Laura Petix 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about polyvagal theory with Seth Porges

Kim Mishkin is here to shed light on Project-Based Learning, an education model that encourages kids to explore, problem-solve, and collaborate in ways that tap into their natural curiosity and interests.

In this episode we explore:

- What Project-Based Learning (PBL) is and how it differs from the standard American education model.

- The origins of the PBL model and what current research reveals about its efficacy for educating kids? 

- Why allowing children to help shape the direction of their curriculum reinforces their motivation to learn and fosters curiosity.

- How core academic subjects like reading, writing, and math are covered with a PBL approach.

- Will kids who have been educated in a PBL elementary and middle-school be able to successfully transition to a standard American academic high-school or college environment?

- Ways parents can integrate elements of the PBL approach into everyday life, helping to build critical thinking and curiosity in their children, even outside a PBL school.

If you're curious about alternative education models or looking for ways to inspire a love of learning in your child, this conversation is packed with insights you won't want to miss!

LEARN MORE ABOUT HUDSON LAB SCHOOL:

https://www.hudsonlabschool.com/

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 PBL Works

📚 Project Based Learning (PBL) Starter Kit

🎥 Most Likely to Succeed

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Fostering independent play and a love of learning with Lizzie Assa

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

- Is it developmentally appropriate for my 3-year-old to start to mimic their friends' behaviors?

- How to approach differences when our kid's friends or our family friends have different rules and limits than we do.

- A conversation you can have with your child after they spend time with their friend and you start to see behaviors that you do not allow in your house - and how these can lead to larger conversations about peer pressure as they get older.

- Zooming back to determine what your larger goals are will help you know what to focus on and what to let go of.

- If you've ever wondered, "How can I get my kid to listen to me, especially in a highly exciting situation?" we'll give you a precursor that you may be skipping that could help!

- Dr. Rebecca shares her #1 golden rule of all child playdates.

- Dr. Sarah shares her 4 S's for how to make playdates most successful.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about appropriate consequences when your child doesn't listen to you

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using consequences intended teach, not punish your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.

Tune in to hear:

- What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life's ups and downs.

- The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.

- Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.

- How attachment affects a child's development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.

This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!

SHOW NOTES:

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INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Unpacking what you consider to be a "chore" versus what is just an expectation of your child as a member of the household.

- How do you teach your child to do chores (and why you may need to remind them to do it over and over and over again!)

- At what age is it appropriate to expect your child to be able to accomplish tasks like chores?

- How to take advantage of routines when it comes to setting expectations and creating habits with your child.

- Being intentional about looking for opportunities where your child can help out that are aligned with your family values.

- Will giving chores decrease your child's intrinsic motivation? (And why it's not so black and white)

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about unlocking motivation with Dr. Ellen Braaten

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about balancing the load of parenthood with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode that busts positive parenting myths with Tracy Gillett

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Get science-backed strategies to raise kids who are compassionate, kind, and successful in today's chaotic world with Melinda Wenner Moyer.

In this episode, we explore:

- How becoming a parent shifted Melinda's attention to applying science and research to answer her most pressing parenting questions

- One of the most surprising and counterintuitive things Melinda learned when she started to dig into the research on parenting.

- How to approach challenging topics, like race, authentically and in age-appropriate ways without needing a "script."

- Diving into Carol Dweck's research study using fixed vs growth mindset language with kids and how it affected their perseverance (Spoiler: Kids who were given fixed mindset messaging showed less resilience.) 

- Why kids lie, the best ways we can respond when they do, and how this can impact how likely they are to be open with us as they get older.

- How attachment security impacts our kid's ability to be confident, curious, flexible, and compassionate 

If you're looking to raise kind, resilient kids who feel safe being honest with you, this conversation is filled with insights to help you make that happen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT MELINDA:

https://www.melindawennermoyer.com/

READ MELINDA'S BOOKS:

📚 How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Assholes: Science-Based Strategies for Better Parenting--from Tots to Teens

📚 Hello, Cruel World!: Science-Based Strategies for Raising Terrific Kids in Terrifying Times

JOIN MELINDA'S SUBSTACK:

📖 Is My Kid the Asshole?

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@melindawmoyer and @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE:

1. Read more about Carol Dweck

2. Watch the Instagram reel we talk about: Teaching my boomer mom about gentle parenting 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Raising conscious kids: A thoughtful exploration of bias, cultural identity, and diversity with Dr. Dana E. Crawford

🎧 The hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace

🎧 Raising emotionally intelligent sons: Parenting boys to combat "toxic masculinity" with Ruth Whippman

🎧 Debunking the myth of learning styles: What the research actually says are the best ways to teach our children with Dr. Dan Willingham

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

- Unpacking what "shy" really means and exploring the space between shyness and social anxiety.

- When to encourage your child and push them out of their comfort zone versus when it's better to respect their boundaries.

- Thinking of shyness as a feeling and not a character trait - plus a script for how to articulate that distinction to your child.

- Why young children may act more shy around other kids, especially in environments like a playground.

- The different levels of support you can use to stretch your child with specific real-world examples of how this may sound and play out.

- Saying hello is a common struggle many "shy kids" face. We're discussing whether or not you should force them to say hello.

- Different parenting approaches and strategies to try based on your child's age.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why birthday parties may be challenging for your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In honor of ADHD Awareness Month, we're talking about how mindfulness can reduce symptoms of ADHD with Dr. Lidia Zylowska.

In this episode we explore:

- Does having ADHD make it harder to engage in mindfulness and meditation practices? (Spoiler: Yes, but there are things we can do about that!)

- What the research reveals about mindfulness in teens and adults with ADHD and the science of how a mindfulness practice strengthens neurological deficits in the brain.

- Parenthood requires so much executive functioning, sensory stimulation, and stress, so often this is when the strategies we've been using to manage symptoms of ADHD fall apart.

- Concrete strategies, like the best time of day, introducing aspects of physicality, and logistical considerations for how to incorporate mindfulness practice into your life when sitting still feels too difficult or daunting.

- Tips for identifying what helps you personally feel less flooded that can serve as your go-to's when things start to feel scattered, stuck, or overwhelming.

- The importance of self-compassion in mindfulness and how this is an often overlooked, yet key piece of mindfulness practices.

If you're curious about how mindfulness can make a real difference for those with ADHD, this episode is a must-listen!

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. LIDIA:

https://lidiazylowska.com/

READ LIDIA'S BOOKS:

📚 The Mindfulness Prescription for Adult ADHD: An 8-Step Program for Strengthening Attention, Managing Emotions, and Achieving Your Goals

📚 Mindfulness for Adult ADHD: A Clinician's Guide

WATCH LIDIA'S YOUTUBE VIDEOS:

💻 MindfulRxADHD

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉🏻 ADDitude

👉🏻 Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD)

👉🏻 Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA)

GET MORE SUPPORT:

👉🏻 Go to upshurbren.com if you're interested in resources for you or your child with ADHD, including individual, group, parenting support, and neuropsychological evaluation services tailored to your unique needs.

CHECK ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 The benefits of mindfulness: How to use this practice for ourselves and our children with Diana Winston

🎧 The science of "mom-rage" and how to use mindfulness as a as a tool for being less reactive with Diana Winston

🎧 ADHD and attachment security: How to connect with and support your neurodiverse child with Dr. Norrine Russell

🎧 How do I help my child with ADHD utilize school support systems without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious?