Securely Attached is your go-to parenting podcast, supporting moms and dads from pregnancy all the way through their child's adolescence and every stage in between.
Join us every Tuesday as clinical psychologist and mom of two Dr. Sarah Bren shares her expertise and interviews top experts in the field, simplifying complicated concepts and pulling back the curtain on the brain science and psychology that drives and shapes the parent-child relationship.
And now, every Thursday, Dr. Sarah Bren is joined by Dr. Emily Upshur and Dr. Rebecca Hershberg for a special segment, Beyond The Sessions. We're answering YOUR parenting questions from the perspective of clinical psychologists highly trained in developmental science and real-life moms who get that parenting is messy, and sometimes we have to laugh, cry, and throw out the "rules."
From toddler tantrums, to effective discipline strategies, to leaning into the principles of respectful parenting, and to managing your own mental wellness as a parent—this podcast is your ultimate resource for judgment-free, research-backed information you know you can trust.
About Sarah Bren, PhD
Dr. Sarah Bren is a licensed clinical psychologist and mom of two who helps parents understand the building blocks of child development and how secure relationships form and thrive. Her work is focused on helping parents find their inner confidence so they can respond to any parenting problem that comes along and raise kids who are healthy, resilient, and kind.
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Back by Popular Demand: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele
Episode 440
Tuesday, August 25, 2026 • Duration 50:06
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most meaningful and foundational conversations in Securely Attached history.
Many parents worry that if they didn't experience a secure attachment in their own childhood, they'll unknowingly repeat those same patterns with their children. But one of the most hopeful findings in attachment research is that our past does not have to determine our children's future.
In this conversation, I sit down with renowned attachment researcher Dr. Miriam Steele to explore how secure attachment develops, how insecure attachment patterns are passed from one generation to the next, and, most importantly, how we can break those cycles.
Together we discuss:
What secure and insecure attachment really mean, and some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding attachment theory.
How children develop different attachment strategies in response to their early caregiving experiences.
Why secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness, not perfect parenting.
The surprising research showing that parents don't need to be attuned all the time for children to develop secure attachment.
What reflective functioning is and how it helps parents interrupt intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment.
Why understanding your own childhood experiences can transform the way you parent your children.
The difference between attachment science and popular "attachment parenting."
Why repair matters more than getting it right every time.
Practical ways to strengthen your relationship with your child, even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment yourself.
The hopeful message that it is never too late to create a more secure future for your family.
This conversation is a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not about perfection, nor is it determined by the childhood you had. It is built through thousands of ordinary moments of connection, curiosity, repair, and reflection. Dr. Steele's research offers tremendous hope that when we become more aware of our own patterns and learn to respond with greater understanding, we have the power to change the trajectory not only of our own lives, but of future generations.
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
Q&A: What should I do if my child has intrusive thoughts?
Episode 439
Thursday, August 20, 2026 • Duration 33:50
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
What intrusive thoughts actually are.
How to recognize when a repetitive question or worry is more than ordinary curiosity, and the subtle clues that can help you tell the difference.
The types of topics (like private parts, germs, or order) that are most common in intrusive thinking.
The simple shift that can help your child stop identifying with the thought and begin seeing it as something separate from who he or she is.
Why reassurance often brings only temporary relief, and what tends to work better in the long run.
Practical, child-friendly strategies that can help kids feel more in control when their brains get "stuck" on a thought.
How to respond in ways that reduce shame, build confidence, and help your child develop the skills to cope with intrusive thoughts over time.
Whether your child is experiencing intrusive thoughts because of anxiety, OCD, PANS/PANDAS, or you're simply wondering if what you're seeing is developmentally typical, this episode will help you better understand what's happening inside your child's mind and give you practical tools to respond with confidence and compassion.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety, OCD, or intrusive thoughts? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers evidence-based treatment for children and families, including SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and a combination of approaches tailored to your child's unique needs. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation with our care team. We'll listen carefully, answer your questions, and help you determine the best next step for your family.
Q&A: How can I get my child to be potty trained at night?
Episode 437
Thursday, August 13, 2026 • Duration 18:02
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
Why staying dry overnight is very different from daytime potty training, and what many potty training books get wrong.
The surprising reason some children simply aren't biologically ready, no matter how motivated they or their parents are.
How to recognize the difference between a child who needs more practice and one who simply needs more time.
The low-pressure approach that can actually make nighttime potty training feel easier for everyone.
Small ways to build your child's confidence and independence, even if they're still waking up wet.
Why paying attention to your child's internal body signals may matter more than sticker charts or rewards.
When bedwetting is still completely within the range of typical development, and when it's worth bringing it up with your pediatrician.
If your child is still wearing pull-ups at night or nighttime potty training hasn't gone the way you expected, this episode will help you better understand the biology behind nighttime dryness and offer practical, compassionate strategies to support the process without adding unnecessary pressure.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
Q&A: Does my child have anxiety or are they just highly sensitive?
Episode 435
Thursday, August 6, 2026 • Duration 22:18
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters under the bed, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
How to tell the difference between anxiety, a highly sensitive temperament, and a nervous system that's simply taking in the world more intensely.
Why your response to your child's fears may matter more than finding the perfect explanation or reassurance.
The subtle ways parents can accidentally strengthen anxiety, and what to do instead.
What behaviors like lip picking, nail biting, or constantly chewing on things may actually be communicating.
Simple ways to help your child's nervous system feel calmer without making anxiety the center of attention.
When it's worth seeking professional guidance, and why getting support early doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.
If your preschooler seems to worry about everyday things, startles easily, or always seems to be on high alert, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those behaviors and give you practical, compassionate strategies to help them feel safer, more regulated, and more confident.
👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? to learn more about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or to see if it's the right fit for your family.
Back by Popular Demand: What to do when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I hate myself," or "I'm a bad kid"
Episode 434
Tuesday, August 4, 2026 • Duration 40:49
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.
Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," "I hate myself," or even, "I wish I wasn't here." Our instinct is often to reassure them, convince them they're wrong, or make those painful feelings disappear as quickly as possible. But what if those words are actually your child's way of communicating something much deeper?
In this conversation, Dr. Emily Upshur joins me to explore what negative self-talk is really telling us, how to respond in the moment, and how to help children build resilience, confidence, and a healthier inner voice over time.
Together we discuss:
What children are often trying to communicate when they use harsh or self-critical language.
Why our first instinct to reassure or correct may not be the most helpful response.
What to say in the moment when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," or "I hate myself."
How to respond differently with preschoolers, school-age children, and older kids.
Why it's important to look beneath the words to the feelings driving them.
How to recognize when negative self-talk is becoming a repeated pattern.
Why calm, connected debriefs are often more effective than trying to solve everything in the moment.
Practical ways to build resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset in everyday life.
How to model healthy self-talk and coping skills for your child.
Why these moments, while unsettling, can become powerful opportunities for connection and emotional growth.
Q&A: What do I do when my child says "no" to everything?
Episode 433
Thursday, July 30, 2026 • Duration 19:31
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests.
What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself.
A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle.
Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters.
How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance.
The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment.
Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.
If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit to get instant access to this workshop.
Q&A: Is my 3-year-old being rude or just acting their age?
Episode 431
Thursday, July 23, 2026 • Duration 18:32
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...
Why toddlers often sound rude or demanding without actually intending to be.
The developmental reason young children focus on getting their needs met rather than how their words affect others.
When to gently teach manners in the moment and when it's better to focus on connection instead.
How to model polite language without creating shame or turning every interaction into a correction.
Why understanding what's underneath your child's words can help you respond with more patience and less frustration.
How to tell the difference between a child who is simply being direct and one who is becoming overwhelmed or dysregulated.
Simple ways to encourage respectful communication through modeling, playfulness, and everyday practice.
Whether your toddler barks orders, interrupts constantly, or seems to demand things instead of asking politely, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those moments and show you how to teach respectful communication in a way that supports your child's development while strengthening your relationship.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.
Back by Popular Demand: The neuroscience of sleep training, bed sharing, and baby sleep with Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum
Episode 430
Tuesday, July 21, 2026 • Duration 01:08:06
As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.
Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.
Together we discuss:
Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep.
What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep.
What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep.
The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare.
The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing.
How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt.
Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own.
How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure.
Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.
This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.
Q&A: How can I get my toddler to brush their teeth without a power struggle?
Episode 429
Thursday, July 16, 2026 • Duration 24:07
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.
The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.
How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.
Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.
Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.
Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.
Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.
Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.
REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:
💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.
Q&A: How can I support my child with PANS or PANDAS through anxiety and OCD?
Episode 427
Thursday, July 9, 2026 • Duration 23:15
Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...
Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare.
How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety.
Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy.
Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress.
How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life.
Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood.
Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.
Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.
👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to to learn more or with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
This conversation offers a compassionate framework for responding to some of the most difficult things a child can say. Rather than reacting from fear or rushing to make the feelings disappear, we remind you that these moments are invitations to connect, understand what your child is really experiencing, and help them develop the emotional skills they'll carry with them for years to come.
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐
If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.
CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:
Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!
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