Explore every episode of the podcast Securely Attached

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most meaningful and foundational conversations in Securely Attached history.

Many parents worry that if they didn't experience a secure attachment in their own childhood, they'll unknowingly repeat those same patterns with their children. But one of the most hopeful findings in attachment research is that our past does not have to determine our children's future.

In this conversation, I sit down with renowned attachment researcher Dr. Miriam Steele to explore how secure attachment develops, how insecure attachment patterns are passed from one generation to the next, and, most importantly, how we can break those cycles.

Together we discuss:

• What secure and insecure attachment really mean, and some of the biggest misconceptions surrounding attachment theory.

• How children develop different attachment strategies in response to their early caregiving experiences.

• Why secure attachment is built through consistent responsiveness, not perfect parenting.

• The surprising research showing that parents don't need to be attuned all the time for children to develop secure attachment.

• What reflective functioning is and how it helps parents interrupt intergenerational cycles of insecure attachment.

• Why understanding your own childhood experiences can transform the way you parent your children.

• The difference between attachment science and popular "attachment parenting."

• Why repair matters more than getting it right every time.

• Practical ways to strengthen your relationship with your child, even if you didn't grow up with secure attachment yourself.

• The hopeful message that it is never too late to create a more secure future for your family.

This conversation is a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not about perfection, nor is it determined by the childhood you had. It is built through thousands of ordinary moments of connection, curiosity, repair, and reflection. Dr. Steele's research offers tremendous hope that when we become more aware of our own patterns and learn to respond with greater understanding, we have the power to change the trajectory not only of our own lives, but of future generations.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• What intrusive thoughts actually are.
• How to recognize when a repetitive question or worry is more than ordinary curiosity, and the subtle clues that can help you tell the difference.
• The types of topics (like private parts, germs, or order) that are most common in intrusive thinking.
• The simple shift that can help your child stop identifying with the thought and begin seeing it as something separate from who he or she is.
• Why reassurance often brings only temporary relief, and what tends to work better in the long run.
• Practical, child-friendly strategies that can help kids feel more in control when their brains get "stuck" on a thought.
• How to respond in ways that reduce shame, build confidence, and help your child develop the skills to cope with intrusive thoughts over time.

Whether your child is experiencing intrusive thoughts because of anxiety, OCD, PANS/PANDAS, or you're simply wondering if what you're seeing is developmentally typical, this episode will help you better understand what's happening inside your child's mind and give you practical tools to respond with confidence and compassion.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety, OCD, or intrusive thoughts? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers evidence-based treatment for children and families, including SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and a combination of approaches tailored to your child's unique needs. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation with our care team. We'll listen carefully, answer your questions, and help you determine the best next step for your family.

📚 What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: A Kid's Guide to Overcoming OCD by Dawn Huebner

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS and PANDAS and why some children develop sudden OCD, anxiety, or tics after illness with Dr. Nancy O'Hara

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know when your child's anxiety requires a mental health intervention

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why staying dry overnight is very different from daytime potty training, and what many potty training books get wrong.

• The surprising reason some children simply aren't biologically ready, no matter how motivated they or their parents are.

• How to recognize the difference between a child who needs more practice and one who simply needs more time.

• The low-pressure approach that can actually make nighttime potty training feel easier for everyone.

• Small ways to build your child's confidence and independence, even if they're still waking up wet.

• Why paying attention to your child's internal body signals may matter more than sticker charts or rewards.

• When bedwetting is still completely within the range of typical development, and when it's worth bringing it up with your pediatrician.

If your child is still wearing pull-ups at night or nighttime potty training hasn't gone the way you expected, this episode will help you better understand the biology behind nighttime dryness and offer practical, compassionate strategies to support the process without adding unnecessary pressure.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with everything you need to know to successfully potty train your child

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about potty training, bed wetting, constipation and pediatric pelvic health with Quiara Smith

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why some children seem to worry about everything, from strange noises to monsters under the bed, even when nothing dangerous is happening.

• How to tell the difference between anxiety, a highly sensitive temperament, and a nervous system that's simply taking in the world more intensely.

• Why your response to your child's fears may matter more than finding the perfect explanation or reassurance.

• The subtle ways parents can accidentally strengthen anxiety, and what to do instead.

• What behaviors like lip picking, nail biting, or constantly chewing on things may actually be communicating.

• Simple ways to help your child's nervous system feel calmer without making anxiety the center of attention.

• When it's worth seeking professional guidance, and why getting support early doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong.

If your preschooler seems to worry about everyday things, startles easily, or always seems to be on high alert, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those behaviors and give you practical, compassionate strategies to help them feel safer, more regulated, and more confident.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

👉🏻 Are you parenting a child with anxiety or OCD and looking for tools to support them? CLICK HERE to learn more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) program or SCHEDULE A FREE CALL to see if it's the right fit for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most impactful parenting conversations in Securely Attached history.

Few moments are more heartbreaking than hearing your child say, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," "I hate myself," or even, "I wish I wasn't here." Our instinct is often to reassure them, convince them they're wrong, or make those painful feelings disappear as quickly as possible. But what if those words are actually your child's way of communicating something much deeper?

In this conversation, Dr. Emily Upshur joins me to explore what negative self-talk is really telling us, how to respond in the moment, and how to help children build resilience, confidence, and a healthier inner voice over time.

Together we discuss:

• What children are often trying to communicate when they use harsh or self-critical language.

• Why our first instinct to reassure or correct may not be the most helpful response.

• What to say in the moment when your child says, "I'm stupid," "I'm a bad kid," or "I hate myself."

• How to respond differently with preschoolers, school-age children, and older kids.

• Why it's important to look beneath the words to the feelings driving them.

• How to recognize when negative self-talk is becoming a repeated pattern.

• Why calm, connected debriefs are often more effective than trying to solve everything in the moment.

• Practical ways to build resilience, confidence, and a growth mindset in everyday life.

• How to model healthy self-talk and coping skills for your child.

• Why these moments, while unsettling, can become powerful opportunities for connection and emotional growth.

This conversation offers a compassionate framework for responding to some of the most difficult things a child can say. Rather than reacting from fear or rushing to make the feelings disappear, we remind you that these moments are invitations to connect, understand what your child is really experiencing, and help them develop the emotional skills they'll carry with them for years to come.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why children who are loving, sweet, and cooperative in many moments can still get stuck saying "no" to the smallest requests.

• What your child's resistance may actually be communicating, and why it often has very little to do with the task itself.

• A simple shift that can help break the cycle when every request seems to turn into a power struggle.

• Why giving your child more opportunities for independence can actually make them more willing to cooperate when it really matters.

• How to approach recurring battles, like tooth brushing, in a way that invites collaboration instead of more resistance.

• The one conversation to have before trying another consequence, reward, or punishment.

• Why sometimes the fastest way forward is to slow down and reset the relationship first.

If your child keeps saying "no" or seems to turn everyday routines into a battle of wills, this episode will help you understand what's really driving the behavior and give you practical strategies to build more cooperation without getting pulled into constant power struggles.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

Dr. Ross Greene and Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand parenting styles and the benefits of an authoritative approach with Dr. Emily Upshur

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to move out of power struggles and into cooperation with Jen Lumanlan

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why toddlers often sound rude or demanding without actually intending to be.

• The developmental reason young children focus on getting their needs met rather than how their words affect others.

• When to gently teach manners in the moment and when it's better to focus on connection instead.

• How to model polite language without creating shame or turning every interaction into a correction.

• Why understanding what's underneath your child's words can help you respond with more patience and less frustration.

• How to tell the difference between a child who is simply being direct and one who is becoming overwhelmed or dysregulated.

• Simple ways to encourage respectful communication through modeling, playfulness, and everyday practice.

Whether your toddler barks orders, interrupts constantly, or seems to demand things instead of asking politely, this episode will help you better understand what's driving those moments and show you how to teach respectful communication in a way that supports your child's development while strengthening your relationship.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child learn to be patient when they wants my attention immediately

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence with Devon Kuntzman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child says "I hate you"

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most downloaded and talked-about episodes in Securely Attached history.

Few parenting topics generate as much confusion, anxiety, and conflicting advice as sleep. In this conversation, neuroscientist, doula, and author of The Nurture Revolution, Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum, joins me to explore what the science actually tells us about infant sleep, sleep training, bed sharing, contact sleep, and the role responsiveness plays in early brain development.

Together we discuss:

• Whether night waking is a normal and developmentally expected part of infant sleep.

• What neuroscience tells us about how babies learn to feel safe during sleep.

• What sleep training does and does not change about infant sleep.

• The different approaches to sleep training and how they compare.

• The science behind contact sleep, room sharing, and bed sharing.

• How societal expectations around sleep can contribute to parental anxiety and guilt.

• Ways to support your baby's sleep while honoring both your child's needs and your own.

• How to think about sleep decisions without shame, fear, or pressure.

• Why it is never too late to strengthen connection and secure attachment, regardless of the sleep choices you've made in the past.

This conversation offers a compassionate, science-backed perspective on one of parenting's most emotionally charged topics. Rather than telling parents what they should or should not do, Dr. Kirshenbaum empowers families with the information they need to make informed decisions that feel right for their unique child, their mental health, and their family. Most importantly, this episode reminds us that parenting is not about perfection. It is about understanding our children, responding with intention, and building connection one moment at a time.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why trying harder often makes tooth brushing harder, and what to focus on instead.

• The surprising reason lowering your expectations in the short term can actually lead to better long-term habits.

• How to tell whether your child is resisting because of autonomy, sensory sensitivities, or something else entirely.

• Why treating tooth brushing like learning a brand-new skill, no matter your child's age, can completely change your approach.

• Simple ways to use play, exposure, and curiosity to help your child feel more comfortable with brushing.

• Small changes to your routine that can dramatically reduce bedtime power struggles.

• Creative ideas to make tooth brushing feel less threatening and more engaging, even for children who have fought it every step of the way.

Whether your child refuses to open their mouth, insists on brushing independently, or runs away the moment the toothbrush comes out, this episode will help you move away from daily battles and toward a calmer, more connected approach that builds cooperation over time.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can teach your toddler to clean up their toys without power struggles

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to set limits, support independence, and reduce meltdowns with Devon Kuntzman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help your child fall asleep with Eileen Henry

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Whether parents should wait to address anxiety or OCD symptoms while their child is in a PANS or PANDAS flare.

• How to tell the difference between supporting your child and unintentionally strengthening anxiety.

• Why the SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approach helps parents create lasting change without requiring their child to participate in therapy.

• Why you don't have to start with the biggest or hardest challenge to see meaningful progress.

• How reducing just a few anxiety-driven routines can lead to improvements across many different areas of your child's life.

• Practical ways to help your child build confidence in handling anxiety while feeling deeply supported and understood.

• Resources for parents who want to learn more about SPACE therapy and find trained providers.

Whether your child has PANS, PANDAS, OCD, or anxiety more broadly, this episode will help you better understand your role in the treatment process and give you practical, evidence-based strategies for supporting your child with confidence, compassion, and hope.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast with Nancy O'Hara MD 

👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about PANS/PANDAS with Dr. Nancy O'Hara

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the line between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

As part of our 5-Year Anniversary Summer Series, we're bringing back one of the most popular and foundational episodes in Securely Attached history.

When children are overwhelmed by big feelings, many parents wonder how to help them calm down, listen, or use the coping skills they've been taught. But before children can regulate themselves, they first need to experience regulation through relationships.

In this conversation, I sit down with early childhood specialist Dana Rosenbloom, founder of Dana's Kids, to explore the powerful role co-regulation plays in helping children develop emotional regulation skills, resilience, and self-awareness.

Together we discuss:

• What co-regulation is and why it is the foundation of emotional development.

• Why emotional dysregulation is often contagious for both parents and children.

• How to stay grounded when your child is overwhelmed by big feelings.

• Why the goal is not to be perfectly calm all the time.

• How children learn emotional regulation through our modeling and presence.

• Why getting comfortable with your child's discomfort can be one of the most important parenting skills.

• The difference between being a detective and being a teacher during challenging moments.

• How to respond when your child is upset about a limit you've set.

• Why a child's rejection of a boundary is not a reflection of your effectiveness as a parent.

• The role repair plays in building resilience, confidence, and connection.

This conversation offers a compassionate and practical framework for understanding children's behavior through the lens of regulation rather than compliance. Dana reminds us that emotional outbursts are not signs that we've failed as parents or that our children are failing. They are opportunities for connection, learning, and growth. Most importantly, this episode is a powerful reminder that before we can co-regulate with our children, we must first learn how to regulate ourselves.

⭐ Celebrating 5 Years of Securely Attached ⭐

If you've enjoyed the podcast over the years, we'd love your help celebrating this milestone. Our birthday wish is simple: five stars for five years. If these conversations have supported you and your family, please consider leaving a five-star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Your support helps more parents discover the show and allows us to continue bringing these conversations to families around the world.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• The best way parents can tell their children that they are planning to separate or get divorced.
• How to approach this conversation in a way that helps children feel safe, supported, and loved.
• What parents should share, what they should avoid sharing, and why it's important to focus on what you know rather than what you don't know yet.
• The key reassurances every child needs to hear, even if they never ask the questions out loud.
• Why children of different ages may react very differently to the news and how to tailor your approach to your child's developmental stage.
• How to respond when children react with sadness, anger, blame, resistance, or seemingly no reaction at all.
• Practical ways to help children adjust to changes in the family while maintaining a sense of stability and connection.
• When it may be helpful to involve a therapist or family professional for additional support.

This episode will help you approach one of the most difficult conversations a family can face with greater confidence, compassion, and clarity while supporting your child's emotional well-being through the transition.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children with Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating divorce or separation through a family systems approach with Una Archer

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce better for your kids?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• How to support a child who struggles with separation anxiety, even at home.
• Why some kids follow their parents from room to room and constantly want to stay close.
• How to respond when your child says "I miss you" without accidentally reinforcing anxiety.
• Why validating your child's feelings is important, but rescuing them from distress can sometimes make separation harder over time.
• Simple ways to help children build confidence tolerating small separations through play, connection, and gradual stretching.
• How to figure out your child's "stretch point" so you can support growth without overwhelming them.
• Creative ways to use timers, playfulness, collaboration, and connection to help kids practice independence.
• How parents can reduce accommodations around anxiety while still staying warm, supportive, and emotionally attuned.

This episode will help you better understand what may be driving your child's clinginess or separation struggles and give you practical, compassionate strategies for helping them build confidence and independence over time.

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can have a smoother daycare or school drop-off

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping preschool parents prepare for drop-off, separation anxiety, and the development of social skills with Meredith Gary

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about where the line is between supporting your child and feeding their anxiety

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Jacob Ham, licensed clinical psychologist and Director of the Center for Trauma and Resilience at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, joins me for a profound conversation about trauma, attachment, presence, and the relational experiences that help us heal.

Together we explore:

• Why trauma is not defined solely by what happened to us, but by how those experiences continue to shape the way we relate to ourselves and others.
• The difference between living from a state of survival and living from a state of presence.
• How trauma can disrupt our natural capacity to move fluidly between connection, protection, openness, and autonomy.
• Why healing does not happen through insight alone, but through relationships that allow us to experience safety, reflection, and connection.
• The concept of reflective functioning and why it is one of the strongest predictors of secure attachment across generations.
• How becoming aware of our internal "chatter" can help us respond with greater compassion toward ourselves and our children.
• Why rupture and repair are a normal and necessary part of healthy relationships.
• How parents can begin breaking intergenerational cycles by cultivating curiosity, awareness, and presence.

This conversation offers a powerful reminder that secure attachment is not built through perfection. It is built through our willingness to stay present, remain open to reflection, and continually return to connection with ourselves and the people we love. Dr. Ham shares a deeply hopeful perspective on how healing happens and how even small moments of awareness can begin to transform the patterns we pass on to the next generation.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• How to prepare young children for a big move without overwhelming them.
• Why moving can feel surprisingly emotional and disorienting for kids, even when the change is positive.
• Simple ways to help children understand what's changing, what's staying the same, and what they can expect in their new home.
• Why visual supports, transitional objects, and goodbye rituals can help kids feel more grounded during major transitions.
• How to help children stay connected to important relationships after moving away from friends, teachers, and familiar places.
• Why making new friends can feel especially stressful for some kids, and how parents can help them feel more confident socially.
• Practical ways parents can create emotional continuity, safety, and connection before, during, and after a move.

This episode will help you better understand how children experience major transitions and give you thoughtful, practical ways to support your child emotionally through a move.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using design and organization to support your child's nervous system with Rachel Melvald

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping our children form strong friendship bonds with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• Why it is completely normal for young children to explore their bodies and engage in self-soothing behaviors.
• How parents can respond to self-touching in a calm, shame-free, developmentally appropriate way.
• The difference between setting healthy boundaries and unintentionally communicating shame around bodies or pleasure.
• Why some children may use self-touching as a form of sensory input, comfort, or emotional regulation, especially at bedtime.
• How to teach children about privacy and body boundaries using neutral, age-appropriate language.
• What to do when self-touching is happening in a shared bedroom or around siblings.
• Ways to help children expand their self-soothing toolbox with other calming sensory and bedtime supports.
• Why parents' own discomfort or cultural messaging around sexuality can sometimes shape how these moments feel.
• How to navigate sibling questions or reactions without making the behavior feel scary or secretive.
• The importance of helping children feel safe, accepted, and connected to their bodies while still maintaining appropriate boundaries.

This episode will help you feel more confident responding to common childhood self-soothing and body exploration behaviors with calm, clarity, and compassion.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your son always has his hands down his pants

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with how developmentally appropriate expectations, boundaries, body autonomy, and consent with sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to get your 3-year-old to do things they don't want to do

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Collaborative divorce attorney and positive psychology practitioner Andrea Vacca joins me to talk about something many families don't realize is possible: a way to move through divorce without escalating conflict or damaging long-term relationships.

For many people, divorce is synonymous with battle. It's something to survive, something to win, or something to endure at all costs. But as Andrea explains, that model often makes an already painful experience even harder for both parents and children.

In this conversation, we explore how a more intentional, team-based approach can help families navigate divorce in a way that supports emotional well-being, preserves dignity, and sets the foundation for healthier co-parenting moving forward.

Together, we discuss:

• What collaborative divorce is and how it differs from traditional litigation.
• Why you don't need strong communication skills to start this process, just a willingness to try.
• How a team-based approach (including mental health and financial professionals) supports the whole family.
• The biggest myths about collaborative divorce, especially for high-conflict couples.
• How positive psychology can help shift your mindset from survival to growth during divorce.
• The concept of a "good enough" agreement and how it can reduce unnecessary conflict.
• How emotional regulation impacts decision-making during divorce.
• What it actually looks like to create a thoughtful, durable co-parenting plan.
• How to revisit and improve parenting plans, even after a divorce is finalized.
• How parents can protect their child's sense of stability during a major family transition.

This conversation is about more than divorce. It's about how we navigate major life transitions, how we stay grounded in our values under stress, and how we make decisions that support not just short-term relief, but long-term well-being for ourselves and our children.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Vacca Family Law Firm 

🎧 A Better Divorce Podcast

📱@vaccafamilylawgroup 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/ 

📱 @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.

https://www.collaborativepractice.com/ 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about divorcing with less conflict with Katherine Miller

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating high-conflict divorce while prioritizing your own needs and attachment relationships with Karen McMahon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce is better for your kids

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• How to support a sensitive, gentle child in becoming more confident using his voice with peers.
• The difference between helping your child build self-advocacy skills and trying to change their temperament.
• How to teach kids simple, effective boundary-setting tools that actually work in fast-paced peer interactions.
• Why "old soul" kids may naturally learn polite, sophisticated communication, but still need help practicing more direct forms of assertiveness.
• Playful ways to practice boundary-setting and self-advocacy skills at home through games and role play.
• How to know when to step in as a parent and when to allow kids space to navigate social challenges on their own.
• Why it's important to match a child's communication tools to the intensity and energy of the situation they're in.
• The importance of checking whether a child is actually distressed before assuming a social interaction is a major problem.

This episode will help you feel more confident supporting your child's self-advocacy skills while still honoring their unique temperament, sensitivity, and personality.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can encourage your shy child without making them feel like being shy is bad?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament, personality, and parenting with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can parent your child to not be a people pleaser

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

In this deep dive episode, I explore how secure attachment evolves across development and what children are really needing from us emotionally at each stage of childhood and adolescence. Using Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development as a framework, we look at the core emotional tasks kids are navigating from infancy through young adulthood, and how our role as parents shifts alongside them.

Together, we explore:

• What secure attachment looks like at different developmental stages.
• How to stay connected to your child as their needs evolve over time.
• Why toddlers push for independence and what they need from us in those moments.
• How play, boredom, and curiosity support emotional development in early childhood
• Why school-age kids become more focused on achievement, perfectionism, and peer comparison.
• How social media can intensify insecurity during key developmental windows.
• Why adolescence can suddenly feel so emotionally intense and unpredictable.
• How to stay a secure base for your teen without escalating power struggles.
• What today's loneliness epidemic can teach us about raising emotionally connected kids.
• Why repair matters more than perfection in secure relationships.
• How understanding your child's developmental task can completely shift the way you respond to behavior.

This episode is ultimately about learning to zoom out. Not to parent each stage perfectly, but to better understand what your child is actually working through underneath the behaviors, emotions, and developmental shifts that can sometimes leave us feeling confused or disconnected. Because when we understand the developmental needs driving our child's behavior, we can respond with more clarity, compassion, and connection.

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 

📱IG: @drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 02. Attachment Theory and Fostering Secure Attachment Relationships

🎧 102. Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it, with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 103. Secure attachment vs. social media: Navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 76. Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think: A conversation with attachment researcher Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 139. BTS: Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Whether co-sleeping is actually a problem, or simply a parenting choice that works for some families.
• How to tell the difference between connection-based co-sleeping and anxiety-driven sleep struggles.
• Why independent sleep is a skill that develops over time through practice, not pressure.
• How to support your child's growing independence without making them feel rejected.
• What it can look like when children naturally begin transitioning out of their parents' bed on their own.
• How to approach sleep transitions gently if co-sleeping stops working for your family.
• Why there is no one "right" way to handle sleep arrangements, and how to focus on what works best for your child, your relationship, and your family as a whole.
• The importance of safe co-sleeping practices and understanding how to co-sleep safely with young children.

This episode will help you feel more confident navigating co-sleeping, independent sleep, and nighttime connection in a way that feels aligned with your family's needs, values, and stage of life.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Stay up to date on the latest podcast episode, tips and tricks, and parenting resources by joining my newsletter. Go to drsarahbren.com, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Join my community" to get weekly emails from me.

🎧 Tune into the original question that this episode is a follow up to: Is letting my anxious child sleep in my bed helping or making their anxiety worse?

🔗American Academy of Pediatrics: Safe Sleep

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Why toddler sleep is different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep with Eileen Henry

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Jennifer Wallace joins the podcast to explore a powerful but often overlooked foundation of mental health and resilience: the human need to feel like we matter. While so much of parenting focuses on what we do for our kids, this conversation invites us to look inward, because a child's sense of mattering is deeply shaped by how much their parents feel valued, seen, and significant in their own lives.

Drawing from research and real-life stories, we unpack why so many adults today feel invisible, overwhelmed, or defined by achievement, and how that shapes the way we show up in our relationships with our children.

Together we explore:

• What it actually means to "matter" and why it's different from self-esteem or a sense of purpose.
• Why parents today are at risk of feeling like they don't matter, and how that impacts their kids.
• The connection between mattering, anxiety, burnout, and loneliness.
• A simple framework for building deeper, more meaningful relationships.
• Why "delight" is a critical ingredient in helping children feel secure and valued.
• How to model a healthy sense of self so your child doesn't feel pressure to be your "everything."
• Practical ways to help kids both feel valued and add value in their families and communities.
• How showing others they matter can actually be the fastest way to feel like you matter too.

This conversation is a reminder that parenting doesn't happen in a vacuum. When we feel grounded in our own worth, supported by meaningful relationships and a sense of connection, we create the conditions for our children to internalize that same belief: you matter, just as you are.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Jennifer Wallace 

📚Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose

📱IG: @jenniferbrehenywallace

🎧 Listen to Jennie's first Securely Attached podcast about the hidden dangers of an achievement centric approach

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 

📱IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how play could be the key to mental health and well-being with Dr. Mike Rucker

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why it's important to tell your child that they are starting therapy (and why many parents avoid it).
• How to explain therapy in simple, developmentally appropriate language your child will actually understand.
• Why using your child's own words for their struggles, like "worry" or "big feelings," matters.
• What to call a therapist and how to describe what they do in a way that makes sense to kids.
• What to do if your child asks, "Is something wrong with me?"
• Why getting your child's buy-in matters and how to help them feel invested.
• How to frame therapy as something the whole family is working on together.

This episode will help you feel more confident in how to approach this conversation, reduce anxiety around starting therapy, and support your child in a way that builds trust, openness, and emotional resilience.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚 Want to learn more about talking to your child about going to therapy? Read Upshur Bren Psychology Group's blog article: How to Tell Your Child You're Taking Them to Therapy: A Compassionate, Practical Guide for Parents

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if your child is too young for therapy

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to know if group therapy would be a good fit for your child

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Jay Belsky joins the podcast to explore one of the most important and often misunderstood truths in parenting: the same environment does not affect every child the same way. Drawing from decades of research on nature and nurture, this conversation looks at how biology and experience work together to shape development, and why some kids are more sensitive to their environments while others are more resilient.

Together, we explore:

• Why some children are more affected by parenting, stress, and environment than others.
• The difference between sensitivity and susceptibility, and why it matters for long-term development.
• What "developmental plasticity" is and how it shapes the way kids respond to their experiences.
• Why resilience is not always a good thing and sensitivity is not always a problem.
• How nature and nurture work together to shape each child in unique ways.
• The one thing within a parent's control that can help protect children from adversity.
• How to shift from trying to control outcomes to supporting the child you have.
• The difference between "carpenter" parenting and "gardener" parenting, and why it changes everything.
• How to set realistic expectations for yourself and your child without lowering the bar.

This conversation offers a powerful reframe for parents who feel confused, overwhelmed, or frustrated when what works for one child doesn't work for another. It is about understanding your child as an individual, letting go of the pressure to get it exactly right, and focusing on what truly supports healthy development over time.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Dr. Jay Belsky

📚The Nature of Nurture: Rethinking Why and How Childhood Adversity Shapes Development 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 

📱IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

📚The Gardener and the Carpenter: What the New Science of Child Development Tells Us About the Relationship Between Parents and Children by Alison Gopnik 

📚 The Nurture Assumption: Why Children Turn Out the Way They Do by Judith Rich Harris

👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about orchid and dandelion children with Dr. W. Thomas Boyce

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support your sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you have a sensitive child

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• What the research actually says about attachment and why one strong, secure relationship is enough for healthy development.
• Why your child asking for the other parent may actually be a sign of a secure attachment, not a problem.
• How toddler development (around age 2) shapes their awareness of family structure and separation.
• How to talk about an absent parent in a way that is simple, neutral, and developmentally appropriate.
• The importance of naming and validating your child's feelings, like sadness, curiosity, or confusion.
• How your own emotional responses can influence how often your child brings this topic up.
• Why these questions often show up at bedtime and how to respond while still holding bedtime boundaries.

This episode will help you feel more grounded and reassured in your role as a parent, and more confident in how to support your child through big feelings, hard questions, and family differences in a way that strengthens your connection.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to support children experiencing abandonment or separation from a parent

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• What to do when your toddler refuses the potty and fights diaper changes, leaving you stuck in a frustrating in-between stage.
• Why diaper changes and potty training resistance is often less about the potty and more about control and autonomy.
• Common ways power struggles often show up during diaper changes and potty training.
• Simple and practical strategies to give your child more agency without losing necessary boundaries to reduce tension and make diaper changes feel less like a battle.
• Creative strategies to build positive associations with the bathroom.
• What it looks like to go slower with potty training, and why that can be more effective.

This episode will help you approach diaper changes and potty training with less pressure, more clarity, and practical strategies to reduce the daily struggles while supporting your child's growing independence.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with a deep dive into potty training

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how pediatric pelvic health can impact potty training, bed wetting and constipation with Quiara Smith

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your toddler is otherwise potty trained, but still won't poop on the potty

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in older children

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Catherine Price returns to the podcast to talk about one of the biggest challenges facing parents today: how to help kids build a healthier relationship with screens. Drawing from her new book, The Amazing Generation (co-authored with Jonathan Haidt), this conversation explores how to move from power struggles and fear-based messaging to approaches that build insight, agency, and real buy-in from kids themselves.

Together, we explore:

• Why simply telling kids to "get off screens" often backfires.
• What kids are actually getting from screens (and what they're missing).
• How to explain to kids that tech companies are designed to capture attention in a way that makes them feel empowered.
• Why "real world" experiences are critical for development and how screens can crowd them out.
• Practical ways to support connection and independence without defaulting to smartphones.
• How to have conversations about screens that don't lead to shutdown or conflict.
• Simple shifts that can help your child become more aware, reflective, and intentional with technology.
• Why building a full, engaging life offline naturally reduces screen time.

This conversation is about more than just screen time. It's about helping kids develop the awareness, confidence, and agency to make choices that align with the kind of life they actually want to live, and how we, as parents, can support that process.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Catherine Price

📚 The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World

🔗 Free Guide: The Family Guide to Screen/Life Balance: Your 7-Day Plan for Fewer Fights and More Fun

📚 How to Break Up with Your Phone, Revised Edition: The 30-Day Digital Detox Plan

📚 The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again

📱 IG: @catherinepriceofficial 

🎧 242. Have phones displaced our ability to play and have fun? How to be intentional with your tech use with Catherine Price 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

🔗 Upshur Bren Psychology Group

📱IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉  Whether it's screen time battles, feeling stuck in constant pushback, or trying to help your child make healthier choices without power struggles, these patterns can be hard to shift on your own. Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and parent coaching to help you build insight, strengthen connection, and create meaningful, lasting change. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why screens and ultra-processed foods keep kids wanting more (but never satisfied) with Michaeleen Doucleff

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why kids remember more when they write by hand with Dr. Audrey van der Meer

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about how to support a child who is struggling to communicate with their peers.

Together we explore:

• The difference between scaffolding and helicopter parenting, and how to find the right balance.
• How your goals for a playdate can shape how much you step in.
• The role of context, including the child your kid is playing with and how familiar they are with each other.
• What scaffolding can actually look like in the moment, beyond just helping with words.
• How narrating and "sportscasting" interactions can support both kids without taking over.
• How to tune into your child's cues to determine whether something is truly a problem.
• The trap of overthinking and how to recognize when things might actually be going just fine.

This episode will help you feel more confident in knowing when to step in, when to step back, and how to support your child's social and communication skills in a way that builds both competence and connection.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping a child who struggles with perfectionism 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do if your child is reading below their grade level, but resistant to going to tutoring 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachments in peer relationships

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Nurse and founder of My Lice Advice, Theresa, joins me to talk about one of the most common (and surprisingly emotional) parenting challenges: lice. While lice is something most families will encounter at some point, it often brings a wave of panic, shame, and overwhelm. But as Theresa explains, it doesn't have to.

Together, we explore:

• Why lice has become so stigmatized and what's actually driving the shame parents feel.
• The biggest myths about lice (including cleanliness and how it spreads).
• What lice actually is and how it's passed from child to child.
• How to talk to your child about lice in a way that is calm, clear, and shame-free.
• What you do not need to clean (and how to avoid unnecessary overwhelm).
• The most effective ways to treat lice based on current research.
• What to look for to know a treatment has actually worked.
• Simple prevention strategies that can reduce the likelihood of future cases.
• How to stay regulated and approach lice as something manageable, not catastrophic.

This conversation is about more than just lice. It's about how we respond to the unexpected moments in parenting, how we manage our own anxiety, and how we model calm, capable problem-solving for our kids.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 My Lice Advice 

💻 My Life Advice on YouTube 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

🔗 Check out my group practice, Upshur Bren Psychology Group, offering therapy and coaching for individuals, children, parents, and families 

📱IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Nit Free Terminator Lice Comb

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to ease your child's anxiety for doctors visits with pediatrician Dr. Rachel Geronemus

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social anxiety in parenthood with Justine Carino

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about what to do when your child goes from calm to meltdown in what feels like seconds, especially during everyday moments like turning off the TV, leaving the park, or cleaning up.

Together we explore:

• Why going from "0 to 60" is actually more common than you think, especially for sensitive kids.
• How setting and holding limits can still be the right thing to do, even when it leads to a meltdown.
• The mindset shift that can help you feel less frustrated when big reactions happen.
• The role of transitions and why they can feel so much harder for kids than they do for adults.
• Practical ways to anticipate and soften tough moments before they escalate.
• How things like hunger, fatigue, and overwhelm can make reactions bigger and faster.
• Simple strategies like giving warnings, breaking tasks into smaller steps, and joining your child in the process.
• Why slowing down and pausing can sometimes be more effective than escalating your response.

This episode will help you better understand why your child's reactions can feel so sudden and intense, and how to respond in a way that keeps you grounded, holds your boundaries, and supports your child through those big feelings.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again

👉Click HERE for my workshop, Be the Calm in Your Child's Storm: How to Keep Your Cool When Your Child Loses Theirs, to get the exact therapeutic interventions I use with my patients that can change the way your brain and body interprets your child's dysregulation to help you stay cool in the heat of the moment.

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visitdrsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Collaborative Problem Solving to navigate power struggles, tantrums, and challenging behaviors with Dr. Stuart Ablon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the difference between a tantrum and a meltdown

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Katherine Miller, author of The Emotionally Savvy Divorce and collaborative law professional, joins me to talk about what it actually means to navigate divorce in a way that reduces conflict, supports your well-being, and protects your children.

Together, we explore:

• The difference between reacting and responding, and how this shift can change the outcome of conflict.
• Why most divorce conflict is not actually about what you're fighting about, but what's underneath it.
• The concept of the "conflict trap" and why the same arguments repeat over and over.
• Simple strategies to pause in heated moments.
• How to communicate more effectively with a co-parent, even when they are not being collaborative.
• What collaborative divorce is and how it helps families reduce conflict and make more thoughtful decisions.
• Why "winning" in divorce often backfires, especially when children are involved.
• How to shift the dynamic with a high-conflict partner without escalating the situation.

This conversation is not just about divorce. It's about learning how to use your emotions as information, stay grounded under pressure, and respond in ways that align with your long-term goals.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Miller Law Group  

📚 The Emotionally Savvy Divorce: Smart Negotiations for a Clean Break

📱 IG: @millerlaw_ny FB: Miller Law Group NY 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/ 

📱 IG: @drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.

🔗 International Academy of Collaborative Professionals 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about busting divorce myths and breaking down the true effect it has on children Michelle Dempsey-Multack

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the legal considerations parents need to know with matrimonial attorney Lisa Zeiderman

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating high-conflict divorce while prioritizing your own needs and attachment relationships with Karen McMahon

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether "nesting" during a divorce is better for your kids

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• Why many parents worry that using the word "autism" might make their child feel different or labeled, and how to think about that fear.
• What research and clinical experience suggest about telling your child sooner rather than later.
• How giving a diagnosis a name can actually feel empowering and help your child make sense of their experiences.
• What it looks like to take a neuroaffirming, strengths-based approach when talking about autism.
• How to explain autism to a young child in developmentally appropriate, non-pathologizing language.Why this doesn't have to be one big, serious conversation and how to follow your child's lead over time.
• The value of being the one who defines what autism means for your child, before the world does.
• Simple ways to normalize and support your child through representation, stories, and everyday conversations.

This episode will help you understand how to talk about neurodiversity in a way that feels simple, affirming, and age-appropriate, so your child can better understand their brain, their strengths, and the ways they experience the world.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Every child deserves to feel safe, understood, and supported, and every parent deserves a place to turn. At Upshur Bren Psychology Group, we offer a full continuum of autism services: diagnostic testing, individual therapy, and parent support groups for families raising children and young adults on the spectrum. Visit upshurbren.com or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more about support options for you and your child.

📚 Different Thinkers: Autism by Katia Fredriksen PhD and Yael Rothman PhD

📚 Wonderfully Wired Brains: An Introduction to the World of Neurodiversity

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about treating autism with a strength based approach with Dr. Lynn Kern Koegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether a neuropsych Evaluation is right for your child with Dr. Yael Rothman & Dr. Katia Fredriksen

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to modify traditional sleep strategies for neurodiverse brains with Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

I'm joined by doula, childbirth educator, and founder of Baby To Go, Sarah Ludwig, to talk about what it actually means to prepare for birth and why so many parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, or like they have to "get it right."

Together, we explore:

• What a doula actually does and how they support families during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum.
• Why pregnancy can increase anxiety, and how to work with it instead of against it.
• The difference between what you can control and what you can't during birth.
• How to think about birth plans as flexible "preferences" rather than fixed outcomes.
• Why trying to control every detail can sometimes make anxiety worse.
• How to build confidence in your ability to cope, even when things don't go as planned.
• The role of postpartum planning and why it's often overlooked.
• How to recognize when anxiety is within a normal range and when it might need more support.

Instead of focusing on creating the perfect plan, this conversation is about building your ability to cope with uncertainty and feel more confident in the process.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗https://www.baby-to-go.com/ 

🔗Hudson Valley Birth Network 

📱IG: @baby_to_go FB: Baby To Go 

LEARN MORE ABOUT ME:

🔗 https://drsarahbren.com/ 

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Click HERE to sign up for my FREE workshop, Confident Parenting from the Start, to get tools and strategies that you can put into practice right away to challenge self-doubt, put an end to your panic-Googling, and finally find the ease and enjoyment in early parenthood!

👉 Click HERE to download my free interactive workbook, My Mental Health Postpartum Checklist, that will help you create a personalized mental health support system for yourself allowing you to feel more confident and relaxed, knowing you have a plan for whatever your unique postpartum experience may be.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to create a plan with your OB/GYN that supports resilience and reduces anxiety during and after pregnancy with Dr. Shieva Ghofrany

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about processing birth trauma with Dr. Sterling 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to read your child's cues, build routines, and trust your instincts with pediatrician Dr. Golly

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• Why the expectation that toddlers should already know how to regulate themselves is a common parenting myth.
• What's actually happening in a child's brain and body when their emotional "gas tank" is empty.
• Why your child's big reaction to a limit doesn't mean you've done something wrong.
• The difference between holding a boundary and trying to solve your child's feelings.
• What to do when your child's behavior is physically aggressive, like hitting or hair pulling.
• Why your own triggers matter and how understanding them can help you respond differently.
• The foundational factors (like sleep, fresh air, movement, and connection) that often drive behavior more than discipline strategies.

If you've ever felt powerless, guilty, or overwhelmed in the face of your child's big emotions, this episode will help you zoom out, reset unrealistic expectations, and approach these moments with more clarity and compassion—for both your child and yourself.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what to do when your child is hitting

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to identify and manage your triggers with Dr. Amber Thornton

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using the attachment relationship to help your toddler fall asleep, with Eileen Henry

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy are everywhere right now. But behind the headlines and social media debates are real people navigating complicated questions about body image, health, and how to talk about these changes with their families.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Rachel Goldman joins me to unpack the psychology behind GLP-1 medications, the concept of "food noise," and how parents can thoughtfully talk to their children about changes in their own bodies.

Together we explore:

• Why obesity is now understood as a chronic, multifactorial disease rather than a simple issue of willpower.
• What "food noise" is and why GLP-1 medications can dramatically quiet the constant mental chatter around food.
• The biggest misconceptions about GLP-1 medications and why they're not simply "weight loss drugs."
• Why significant body changes can bring up complicated identity and emotional shifts.
• How parents can talk to kids about weight loss or body changes without reinforcing shame or diet culture.
• The difference between body positivity and body neutrality and why neutrality may be more realistic and helpful for many families.
• Small language shifts that help children focus on what their bodies do, rather than how they look.
• Why it's never too late for parents to shift the way they talk about bodies and health.

This conversation will help you understand the science and psychology behind GLP-1 medications and give you practical tools and language to navigate your own health journey and talk about it with your kids in thoughtful, supportive ways.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Dr. Rachel 

📚 When Life Happens: The Mindset Shift You Need to Manage Stress, Build Confidence, and Break Free

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@drrachelnyc

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parenting coaching to help you feel more grounded and confident as you support your child's emotional development and navigate challenges like body image, big emotions, anxiety, and family dynamics. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating their effects on body image from early childhood to teen years with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about empowering girls to navigate media, body image, and societal pressures with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about youth sports and body image with Zoë Bisbing

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• What a time-in actually is and how it's different from a time-out.
• How to tell if your child's behavior is coming from dysregulation, a skill gap, or deliberate behavior.
• How to know which discipline tools will work best in each unique situation.
• The difference between co-regulating during a meltdown and teaching a behavioral boundary (and how to know when to use each).
• How to use time-outs as a teaching tool, not a punishment.
• How developmental stages affect behaviors like hitting, tantrums, and defiance—and what realistic expectations to set.
• Why trying to find the "perfect parenting script" often makes discipline harder.
• The one question to ask yourself that will help you decide what to do in the moment.

If you've ever found yourself wondering whether you should comfort your child, correct the behavior, or step away entirely, this episode will help you zoom out, understand what's really going on underneath the behavior, and respond more intentionally.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

🔗 Longitudinal Relationship Between Time-Out and Child Emotional and Behavioral Functioning

👉 Feeling confused about discipline strategies like time-ins, time-outs, and consequences? Visit drsarahbren.com/timeout to download my ✨FREE✨ Discipline Guide to learn when and how to use these tools in a way that actually supports your child's development while reducing power struggles at home. This guide breaks down how to respond to common behaviors like tantrums, hitting, and defiance so you can feel more confident in the moment. 

📚The Tantrum Survival Guide: Tune In to Your Toddler's Mind (and Your Own) to Calm the Craziness and Make Family Fun Again by Rebecca Schrag Hershberg, PhD

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using your child's brain, body and nervous system to guide your parenting Dr. Mona Delahooke

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the psychology behind dysregulation with founder of Parenting Translator Cara Goodwin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to integrate effective discipline that prioritizes emotional and mental health with Sarah R. Moore

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Let's revisit the foundation of raising securely attached kids! I'm bringing back one of my first ever episodes to help parents understand the basics of how a secure attachment bond impacts children's resilience, confidence, and overall well-being.

Tune in to hear:

• What secure attachment is and how it plays a key role in nurturing a child's confidence, curiosity, and ability to handle life's ups and downs.
• The powerful influence of feeling safe and seen on a child's ability to be honest, adaptable, and resilient.
• Practical strategies for fostering secure attachment, no matter the age of your child.
• How attachment affects a child's development into a compassionate, kind individual who can build meaningful relationships throughout their life.

This episode offers science-backed insights and actionable tips and is a must-listen for all parents!

INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT ATTACHMENT SCIENCE?

Click HERE to download my free guide, The Four Pillars of Fostering Secure Attachment, helping you parent with a focus on attunement and trust.

LEARN MORE ABOUT DR. SARAH:

https://drsarahbren.com/

FOLLOW DR. SARAH ON INSTAGRAM:

https://www.instagram.com/drsarahbren/

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Breaking the cycle of insecure attachment: How to support your child's secure attachment even if you didn't grow up with it with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Secure attachment is optimal, but insecure attachment may not be as bad as we think with Dr. Or Dagan

🎧 Can my kid be securely attached to me if I'm insecurely attached in my adult relationships?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• Whether it's developmentally realistic to expect a baby and a toddler to "work together" during play.
• If separating siblings in certain moments is helpful parenting… or something we're supposed to avoid.
• The concept of "territory" in child development and why young children often need spaces and projects that feel protected.
• Why pushing young children to share too early can sometimes make cooperation harder later on.
• How helping a toddler trust that their creations and belongings will be respected can actually reduce sibling rivalry over time.
• The difference between communal family spaces and personal spaces for kids' toys and projects.
• Simple ways to set boundaries that support both children's needs without turning every moment into a negotiation.
• Where kids actually learn to get along with siblings — so you can focus on the moments that matter and release some of the pressure around the rest.

If you're parenting siblings close in age and feel like you're constantly refereeing fights over toys, this episode will help you better understand what's developmentally normal and give you practical ways to support both children without feeling like you have to force sharing or cooperation before they're ready.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about encouraging sibling empathy without making them responsible for each other's feelings

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to get your toddler to share

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about soothing your baby and encouraging a closed sibling bond with Dr. Golly

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Audrey van der Meer, developmental neuroscientist and Professor of Neuropsychology at NTNU, joins me to talk about what's happening inside our children's brains when they write by hand versus type on a keyboard and what the shift toward fully digital classrooms may be costing their learning, memory, and focus.

Together we explore:

• What gross motor development is and why its sequential nature is so essential for a child's development.
• The research that illustrated that handwriting activates larger neural networks linked to memory, attention, and deeper learning compared to typing.
• Why taking notes by hand improves memory retention and comprehension.
• The "use it or lose it" principle of brain development and what that means for cognitive growth.
• What studies reveal about reading on paper versus reading on screens.
• How screens can be beneficial too, so you can make informed, intentional decisions about when to incorporate technology and when to set limits.
• Practical, realistic ways parents can strengthen brain development at home without banning screens or rejecting technology altogether.

This conversation isn't about rejecting technology or going back to the Stone Age. It's about being intentional. And when we understand how the brain evolved to learn, we can make small shifts that serve to strengthen our children's development.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Dr. Audrey van der Meer 

🔗NuLab 

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@audreyvandermeer

📱@drsarahbren

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to keep your child safe in a world of AI, algorithms, and social media with Imran Ahmed

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting with the "whole-brain" with Dr. Dan Siegel

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Why cleanup time can be surprisingly hard for young children.
• What's really happening in your toddler's brain and body when they are resisting transitions.
• Is repeating yourself over and over again a normal part of parenting young kids? And how do you know when it's part of the learning process versus something that needs a different approach?
• How motor planning, executive functioning, and task initiation can make something like "clean up your toys" feel overwhelming to a child.
• Why you might still be doing 90% of the cleanup work at this age (and why that can actually be part of the learning process.)
• Practical strategies to make cleanup easier, including breaking tasks into smaller steps, planning ahead for transitions, and using cues like songs and routines.
• How to shift your expectations so you can stay calm and connected instead of getting pulled into power struggles.

If you find yourself repeating the same requests over and over while trying to stay patient and regulated, this episode will help you understand what's developmentally normal for young children and give you practical tools to make cleanup time and transitions feel more manageable for both you and your child.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry

🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?

🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Jett Stone, clinical psychologist and author of Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide, joins me to talk about paternal mental health and the invisible emotional load modern fathers are carrying, many without language, models, or permission to talk about it.

Together we explore:

• Why millennial dads often feel like they're parenting without a blueprint.
• How intergenerational patterns and "boyhood rules" shape the way men show up as fathers.
• Why so many dads feel like the "secondary parent" and how mothers can invite fathers in without diminishing their own needs or experiencing resentment.
• The tension between wanting authority and wanting connection with your child (and how to hold both).
• Why secure attachment with dads doesn't have to look exactly like secure attachment with moms.
• How doing your own reflective work as a parent can transform the entire family system.

This conversation will help you understand the emotional lives of fathers with more compassion and clarity. Because when dads feel supported, included, and emotionally resourced, the whole family benefits.

Whether you're a parent, a partner, or a therapist working with families, this episode will expand the way you think about modern fatherhood.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Dr. Jett Stone 

📚Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide: Practical Techniques to Stop Overthinking and Take Charge of Your Life

💻 Psychology Today 

🎧 No Man's an Island podcast

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@drjettstone 

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Looking for extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching for moms, dads, and families who want to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and support their child's development. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering deep and meaningful relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about what it means to be a father with Kendall Smith

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about becoming a team with your partner-in-parenting with Lauren A. Tetenbaum

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering a secure attachment relationship

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• Whether letting your anxious child sleep in your bed reinforces anxiety or supports emotional security.
• The difference between attachment needs and anxiety accommodations.
• Why distress tolerance and secure attachment are not competing goals.
• How SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) approaches sleep struggles.
• What it actually means to "stop an accommodation" — and why sleep isn't always the first place to start.
• How to know if your child can't sleep alone or simply prefers not to.
• Why bedtime feels so loaded for parents and how to zoom out and look at the bigger picture.
• The research on attachment (including why you don't have to get it right 100% of the time).
• How to reduce anxiety without damaging your relationship with your child.

If your child struggles with separation anxiety at night, frequently climbs into your bed, or says he's too scared to sleep alone, this episode will help you step back from the all-or-nothing messaging and make a thoughtful, individualized decision that fits your family.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

😴 Struggling with toddler bedtime battles? Download my ✨FREE✨ Toddler Sleep Guide with 7 concrete strategies backed by peer-reviewed research and anecdotally tested in my own practice, that you can implement with your children today to turn your bedtime struggles into solutions.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode with practical solutions for getting your child to stay in their own bed with Eileen Henry

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you understand the basics of attachment theory and fostering your child's secure attachment bond

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep strategies 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz 

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Michaeleen Doucleff, science journalist and author of Dopamine Kids, joins me to talk about what's really happening in our children's brains when it comes to screens, social media, and ultra-processed foods and why so many kids (and adults) feel stuck in cycles of constant wanting without real satisfaction.

Together we explore:

• What dopamine actually does in the brain and why it's not simply the "pleasure chemical."
• How screens and ultra-processed foods are engineered to tap into our children's seeking systems.
• Why today's kids may be experiencing more craving and less true gratification.
• Why simply taking screens away often backfires and what to replace them with instead.
• How small, sustainable environmental shifts (not massive overhauls) can recalibrate your child's motivation system.
• Practical ways to reduce screen use in the evenings, during transitions, and "on the go."
• How involving your child in the process can increase autonomy, buy-in, and long-term success.

This conversation isn't about fear, shame, or unrealistic detoxes. It's about understanding the science of motivation so we can make thoughtful changes that bring more color, pleasure, and peace back into our homes.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Michaeleen Doucleff

📚Dopamine Kids: A Science-Based Plan to Rewire Your Child's Brain and Take Back Your Family in the Age of Screens and Ultraprocessed Foods

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY ME:

🔗 Dr. Sarah Bren 

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Dr. Kent Berridge

🔗 Dr. Wolfram Schultz

📚 Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg, PhD

📄 From Tobacco to Ultraprocessed Food: How Industry Engineering Fuels the Epidemic of Preventable Disease 

🔗 Read Montague, Ph.D. 

📄 Sign‐tracking modulates reward‐related neural activation to reward cues, but not reward feedback 

🔗​​ Brick 

👉 Whether it's screens, power struggles, reactivity, or habits that are hard to shift, it can be incredibly difficult to see and change these cycles on your own. Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers in-person and virtual therapy and parent coaching to help you create meaningful, lasting change. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services or schedule a free 30-minute consultation to find the right support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of raising emotionally resilient kids with Dr. Kristen Lindquist

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating tantrums, big feelings, screen time and more with Dr. Laura Markham

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about reclaiming your focus and navigating distractions and screen time to become more present with Nir Eyal

🎧Listen to my podcast episode about stress, screens, shifting hormones, and early puberty with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about...

• What "kindergarten readiness" actually means (and what it doesn't).
• Dr. Upshur and Dr. Bren share their personal experiences - with one choosing to send her child to kindergarten and the other deciding to hold her son back - and why.
• The pros and cons of redshirting, and whether being one of the youngest in the class really leads to long-term struggles.
• Why social-emotional readiness may matter less than you think.
• How family logistics, finances, community norms, local school culture, and sibling dynamics can influence your decision.
• What research says about long-term academic and life outcomes.
• How to take the pressure off yourself so you can make a thoughtful, "good enough" choice.

If you're going back and forth about whether to send your child to kindergarten or wait another year, wondering if they're too sensitive or overwhelmed to start, or worried about making the "wrong" decision, this episode will help you zoom out, gather the right information, and move forward with more clarity and confidence.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping kids cope with stress and become self-driven with Dr. William Stixrud

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child success in preschool with Meredith Gary

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your toddler learn to share

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Devon Kuntzman, toddler expert and author of Transforming Toddlerhood, joins me to explain why the toddler years feel so intense and how understanding development can change everything.

Together we explore:

• How toddlerhood is defined by contradictory needs for independence and attachment and why this creates so much emotional volatility.
• How rapid cognitive, motor, and language development can leave toddlers feeling disoriented and overwhelmed.
• How to slow down power struggles using developmentally informed tools like asking "What's your plan?" and turning "no" into "not yet."
• Why helping toddlers organize their thinking supports regulation, impulse control, and cooperation.
• How parents can stay flexible, grounded, and confident while navigating a stage that naturally pushes everyone's limits.
• How to  grab your free spot in Devon's 9th Annual Transforming Toddlerhood Conference being held live virtually from March 11th-15th.

This episode is designed to help parents make sense of toddler behavior through a developmental lens, reduce self-blame, and walk away with practical strategies for setting limits while still supporting independence, emotional growth, and secure attachment.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗 Transforming Toddlerhood

🔗 Reserve your FREE spot in the Transforming Toddlerhood Conference 

🎧Listen to Devon's first Securely Attached podcast episode about how to effectively set limits, stay calm, and parent with confidence in toddlerhood

📚 Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@transformingtoddlerhood

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 94. Toddler sleep: Why it's different than infant sleep and how to use the attachment relationship to help them fall asleep, with Eileen Henry

🎧 90. Seeing the world through your toddler's eyes: Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series

🎧 209. How can I get my toddler to share and play nicely with other kids?

🎧231. BTS: How can I build my toddler's assertiveness skills?

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

- Whether it's okay to have different rules for different kids under the same roof in a blended family.

- How developmental differences and co-parenting agreements can shape household expectations.

- What to do when step-siblings notice (and protest) differences in discipline.

- How to align parenting styles in a blended family without creating resentment.

- Why transparency and age-appropriate conversations can actually strengthen family trust.

- How to approach your spouse when you feel protective, defensive, or out of sync.

If you're navigating parenting post-divorce in a blended family with different parenting plans and complex co-parenting relationships, struggling with fairness between step-siblings, or feeling unsure how to handle different rules in the same house, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and practical next steps.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉🏻 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best way to approach introducing your kids to your new significant other after a divorce

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering a mom who wondered if there was something she can do to strengthen her child's relationship with her ex 

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting on the same page with your partner in parenthood 

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Imran Ahmed, founder and CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, joins me to talk about how social media platforms, algorithms, and AI systems are designed and what that means for our children's mental health and safety.

Together we explore:

• How social media algorithms are built to maximize attention, and why emotionally extreme content is often amplified.
• What research reveals about how quickly self-harm and eating disorder content can be served to young users.
• How AI platforms can respond dangerously to vulnerable teens when guardrails are not properly in place.
• Why this is not just a "screen time" issue, but a systemic design and accountability issue.
• The difference between pulling the "emergency brake" and creating meaningful long-term change.
• What parents can realistically do at home to build digital resilience, foster trust, and partner with their children in navigating online spaces.

This episode isn't meant to create more fear, but to offer greater clarity. My hope is that parents walk away feeling informed, empowered, and better equipped to both advocate for safer systems and strengthen the relationship that ultimately protects kids most: the one they have with you.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Center for Countering Digital Hate 

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱IG: @counterhate  FB: Center for Countering Digital Hate  Youtube: @CCDHate 

📱IG: @drsarahbren Youtube: Securely Attached 

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

💻 Protecting Kids Online - Download the guide for parents

🔗 Deadly by Design: TikTok pushes harmful content promoting eating disorders and self-harm into young users' feeds 

🔗 Fake Friend: How ChatGPT betrays vulnerable teens by encouraging dangerous behavior 

🔗 Resist and unsubscribe - Scott Galloway 

👉 Parenting in the age of AI, algorithms, and constant connectivity can feel like a lot. If you're feeling unsure, reactive, or overwhelmed, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching to help you feel grounded, clear, and confident as you support your child and manage your own stress. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation or go to upshurbren.com to learn more and find the right support for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment vs. social media with Dr. Miriam Steele

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the do's and don'ts for introducing screens to your toddler

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about...

• First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise? 
• Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this. 
• What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group.
• How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly.
• "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'"
• Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Nancy O'Hara, pediatrician and leading expert in PANS and PANDAS, joins me to unpack why some children experience sudden, dramatic changes in behavior, anxiety, OCD, tics, sleep, or emotional regulation following illness. For many families, these symptoms appear almost overnight and are often misdiagnosed as "just anxiety," behavioral issues, or psychiatric disorders, leaving parents confused, dismissed, and unsure how to help their child.

Together we explore:

• What PANS and PANDAS are, and how infections like strep, viruses, or tick-borne illness can trigger sudden neuropsychiatric symptoms in children.
• What to assess to help you determine if your child has a generalized anxiety disorder or if it may be PANS/PANDAS that is the root cause of their symptoms.
• Why PANS/PANDAS is often missed or misunderstood in both medical and mental health settings.
• The three-pronged approach to treatment: Addressing the trigger, the immune system, and the child's emotional and behavioral symptoms.
• How therapy, both for parents and children, can support recovery, even when symptoms have a medical origin.
• Understanding that there is real hope for healing and that it's never too late to identify and address PANS or PANDAS.

This episode is designed to help parents and clinicians feel more informed, less alone, and more confident in recognizing when a child's behavior may be signaling something deeper. PANS and PANDAS are real, treatable conditions that deserve compassionate, comprehensive care.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Dr. Nancy O'Hara 

📚Demystifying PANS/PANDAS: A Functional Medicine Desktop Reference on Basal Ganglia Encephalitis

🎧 Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast 

FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA:

📱IG: @nhoharamd FB: Nancy O'Hara MD, MPH, FAAP 

📱IG: @drsarahbren 

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family.

🔗 Dr. O'Hara's mentor, Sidney M. Baker, MD 

🔗 Susan Swedo, MD, who created the acronym and coined the terms of PANS and PANDAS 

📚 Super Sam and the Battle Against PANS/PANDAS by Dr. Lindsey Wells 

🔗 Practitioner directories and community support: Aspire and  Look Foundation 

🔗 For practitioners: PANDAS Physicians Network

🔗 A helpful resource you can bring to your pediatrician: The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry - February 2017 

📚 The Comprehensive Physicians' Guide to the Management of PANS and PANDAS: An Evidence-Based Approach to Diagnosis, Testing, and Effective Treatment by Dr. Scott Antoine 

🔗 Autism and PANS PANDAS

🔗 The Medical Academy of Pediatrics and Special Needs

🔗 Ilads 

🔗 Psychiatry Redefined 

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with integrative pediatrician Dr. Pejman Katiraei

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in your older child?

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) can be an effective treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about...

• The subtle but important difference between encouraging empathy and unintentionally parentifying a child.
• What reflective functioning is and why helping your child develop this skill may be one of the most important things you can do as a parent.
• What helps empathy develop naturally in children without pressure or responsibility.
• Ways to navigate mismatched messages from extended family while staying grounded in your own parenting values.
• What parents can do to foster healthy sibling dynamics.

If you have ever worried about asking too much of your older child, felt activated by comments about siblings taking care of each other, or wondered how to support healthy sibling relationships without repeating old patterns, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and a calmer way forward.

REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES:

👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sibling rivalry and jealousy

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking the cycle of insecure attachment with Dr. Miriam Steele

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU:

Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or

Eli Weinstein, couples therapist and author of the upcoming book From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in Parenting Years, joins me to talk about what really happens to a relationship after kids.

Together we explore:

- Why parenthood doesn't just add stress, it reactivates attachment patterns and old wounds in both partners.

- What's really happening when you keep having the same fight on repeat, and how to begin spotting the deeper need beneath it.

- How mental load, feeling unseen, and constant "downloading" logistics quietly erode connection and build resentment.

- The difference between "we made up" and actually repairing what keeps breaking.

- How couples get stuck in "gridlock arguments" and what helps uncover what's really driving the conflict.

- The role overstimulation and nervous system overload play in reactivity at home.

- Practical ways couples can reset and regrow in this new season, without waiting for more time, sleep, or perfect circumstances

This episode is designed to help you feel less alone in the mess of marriage after kids, and more confident about what actually helps couples stay connected, communicate better, and find their way back to each other.

LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:

🔗Eli Weinstein 

📚From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in the Parenting Years

🎧The Dude Therapist Podcast

🎧 Listen to Eli's last Securely Attached episode about busting parenting gender stereotypes with Eli Weinstein 

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

📱@eliweinstein_lcsw

📱@drsarahbren

ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES:

🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services for individuals, couples, parents and kids and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family.

CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE:

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho

🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child can be securely attached to you if you are insecurely attached in your adult relationships