Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work.
You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.
Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
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I know how intensely we want a checklist. Do this, this, and this, and the dysregulation will end, and your kid will be OK. This episode is the story of chasing exactly that list (Dr. Sears' Attachment Parenting checklist that I worked to check off one by one) and finding something else entirely in Dan Siegel's Parenting From the Inside Out. He didn’t give a checklist at all, just a way of being.
So, I can’t give you a checklist, but this episode is the closest thing I can give you: a stance to hold as your foundation, and three relational moves that cycle on top of it, out of order, again and again.
In this episode you will learn:
Why attachment (and regulation, and connection) resist a tidy checklist, and what to reach for instead when the flowchart doesn't exist
The difference between the stance underneath everything (curiosity, compassion, non-judgment, staying with uncertainty) and the three moves that sit on top of it: noticing me, noticing you, noticing we
Why losing the stance in a hard moment doesn't mean anything failed; actually, noticing you've lost it is itself the stance
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
EP 285: Triggers & Beliefs Only Parenting Seems to Activate
Episode 285
Tuesday, September 22, 2026 • Duration 44:15
Sometimes it’s the little moments that overwhelm us more than the big, scary ones. The "whatever" muttered under their breath, the stash of snack wrappers under the bed, or they flatly deny something you're 99% sure they did. Sure, these things are frustrating, and it makes sense you’d have a reaction- but for some reason, you find yourself in zero to fury before you even had a chance to think.
It can feel so perplexing. There was no meltdown, no real crisis- why is the reaction oh so big? This episode digs into why…and what those $5-reaction, 50-cent-problem moments are actually pointing to.
In this episode, you will learn:
Why implicit memory isn't just about never forgetting to ride a bike. It's also somatic, relational, and emotional, impacting the reactions we have to all the things that are happening
How old beliefs (mental models) don't just interpret what's happening; they actually predict it and sometimes even help create it
A closer look at the specific mental models - some from parenting, some from being parented - that might be connected to some of your biggest reactions
Curious which of these beliefs might be yours? Chapter 10 of the new Guided Journal walks through the Discovering Our Fears process, with a companion worksheet available as a free download. And if you’re a Club member, you don’t need to go searching for the free download- it’s stored in the Club resource library!
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
EP 284: Wherever You Are is Exactly Right (me too)
Episode 284
Monday, September 21, 2026 • Duration 39:49
I know you are working so, so, so hard to hold onto your owl brain.
Maybe you're at the stage where you don't even notice you've flipped your lid until hours later.
Maybe you're at the stage where you can see it happening and still can't stop it.
Either way, there's probably an old, familiar voice telling you that you should be further along than you are by now.
I was once exactly there, too. Hollering- literally - at my own therapist for the reality that I wasn’t changing faster. I was MAD.
I finally finally, finally had to consider believing what she was offering me- that I was exactly where I needed to be in that moment, and I was shifting and changing as fast as I could.
I have had the experience on both sides of the couch- the person who was so angry I wasn’t changing faster AND the therapist who believed with my whole being that my client was exactly where they needed to be- even if that truth was extremely painful.
I wrote the Guided Journal from that space between.
In this episode you will learn:
Why hearing "you're exactly where you need to be" from my own therapist once felt more like a threat than comfort
What made a therapist's steady presence more powerful than any of the tools she had, even all her training in about five bajillion techniques
Why the guided journal was crafted with no agenda, no required order, and nowhere you have to arrive by the last page
The Guided Journal is out today, September 21 — grab it wherever you love to buy books, or catch a signed copy through Schuler Books. Details on tonight's Grand Rapids signing, the Richmond events, and the October 1st online celebration are all at robyngobbel.com.
EP 283: What if I'm too burned out to do any of these things?
Episode 283
Tuesday, September 15, 2026 • Duration 42:35
Almost always when I’m teaching or presenting, a parent is finally brave enough to ask: “What if I'm too burned out to do any of this?”
And then at least half the other parents in the room look expectantly at me because they, too, are wondering how they could possibly conjure up enough energy to use playfulness. They aren’t even sure they like their kid enough to offer enough cues of safety.
This episode looks at the physiology of burn out, why the strategies you already know feel completely out of reach when you're this depleted, and what's actually possible from here.
In this episode, you will learn:
Why it takes a lot more than pushing through burnout to shift out of it
Why rest (not more effort) is the first real step toward healing
How teeny tiny drops of safety, not big sweeping changes, are what actually start tipping the scale back toward connection
If you’re looking for a place to start accumulating cues of safety for yourself, come join us in The Club the next time we are welcoming new members!
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
EP 282: Parents & Practitioners Need the Same Thing- and it's not more tools
Episode 282
Tuesday, September 8, 2026 • Duration 46:02
You've called every therapist in town and heard the same thing back: not taking new clients. Or you're the one on the other end of that call, staring at a kid whose behavior you can't make sense of, wondering if you're just not cut out for this.
I get it. I intimately understand both sides of this struggle.
In this episode, you'll learn:
Why a dysregulated parent needs the same thing from their practitioner that a child needs from their parent
What actually changes behavior long-term (hint: unfortunately, it’s not a tool. That would be this easy!)
Why this nested process — professional, parent, child — is the core framework that makes the Immersion Program unique. And, what makes it work.
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
EP 281: What I Wanted Every Kid in My Office to Know
Tuesday, September 1, 2026 • Duration 38:28
My guiding north star when I was a therapist working with kids (and grown-ups) was always helping them not just get to know their brain and how it works, but actually to develop a relationship with the parts of themselves that seemed to always be getting into trouble. It's not really just brain facts that are helpful to kids. Teaching them about their brain creates the possibility that they can develop a new relationship with their brain- and that’s where the real magic starts to happen.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why understanding your kid's brain matters less than helping them build an actual relationship with it — one held by compassion and curiosity instead of judgment
What integration of consciousness and state integration mean, and why flexibility between an owl, watchdog, and possum state (or whatever your family calls them) is the real marker of change
Why modeling this with your own watchdog and possum first gives your kid permission to risk doing the same
I’m teaching a live webinar on how to actually do this with your own kids on September 8 — and if you're already part of The Club, it's included, no extra registration needed.
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
EP 280: Either You Co-Regulate or You De-Escalate: An Interview with Chrissy D’Agostino
Episode 280
Tuesday, August 25, 2026 • Duration 57:19
You've probably heard "a dysregulated adult can't co-regulate a child" a hundred times. But if you've ever been stuck in a store with a screaming kid — or a classroom with 17 screaming kids — and zero bandwidth left, you know how useless that advice can feel in the moment. This episode is a conversation with Chrissy D'Agostino, co-author of the new Early Years Guidebook from the Regulated Classroom, about what to do when you're with a dysregulated child, and you're dysregulated too. You’ll hear practical ideas that are actually helpful for a stressed and tapped-out grown-up.
In this episode, you will learn:
Why relying so heavily on your voice and your words all day is quietly wearing down your nervous system
The four practices (connectors, activators, settlers, affirmations) that help widen everyone's window of tolerance, at home or in the classroom
Why "meet the moment" is a more useful goal than "manage the outcome"
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
EP 279: Is There a Behavior Intervention Flowchart??
Episode 279
Tuesday, August 18, 2026 • Duration 42:32
You want the flowchart. Of course you do! If X, then Y would be something to follow when there's no bandwidth left to think it through in the moment. But there isn't a flowchart, and this episode gets into why: stress capacity shifts by the hour, different nervous system states pull different memory networks online, and two nervous systems are shaping each other in real time, not just one. What there is instead is a map. Knowing both how to read it and how to adjust when something unexpected happens is crucial.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why a flowchart for dysregulated behavior is neurobiologically impossible
Why the strategy that worked yesterday isn't working today
Why the goal isn't figuring out the exact reason behind a behavior; it's staying curious instead of certain
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
OT on Tuesday, a speech eval callback on Wednesday, play therapy on Thursday, a school meeting on Friday that's really just another appointment in disguise. When the calendar starts looking like a second job, the question that actually matters isn't a number — it's whether all of it is moving your family toward regulation, connection, and felt safety, or quietly draining it. This episode walks through how to prioritize when everything's been recommended, and nothing fits, when it's genuinely okay to pause the therapy someone called non-negotiable, and why supporting your own nervous system might be the highest-leverage intervention in the whole house.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to tell whether your family's current appointment load is building felt safety or quietly working against it
A framework for prioritizing between recommended therapies when you can't do all of them, including what to weigh beyond which one "sounds" most important
Why pausing or delaying a therapy you've been told is essential isn't neglect
Why your own support sometimes needs to move to the top of the list
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to
Ep 277: This Kind of Shame Doesn't Heal Alone: A Parent Guest
Tuesday, August 4, 2026 • Duration 54:13
So many struggling and overwhelmed parents feel like their biggest problems are their kids' behaviors and the chaos that's taking over their family. This week's guest, a longtime Club member, talks about how she slowly came to realize that what she really needed to focus on wasn't strategies to change her kids' behavior, but experiences that would soften the shame she was carrying.
This guest bravely shares that her shame didn't soften on her own. It took showing up in community with other parents who were honest about their own mess and who received her without judgment, over and over, before she could start offering herself that same compassion.
In this episode you'll learn:
Why self-compassion is almost impossible to build alone
How this mom's own regulation changed before her kids' behavior did
What it sounds like when your kids start offering that same compassion back to you — and to themselves
Read the full transcript at:URL goes here
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Order a copy of the new Guided Journal wherever you love to buy books online or head to RobynGobbel.com/GuidedJournal
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Once you order, head to RobynGobbel.com/MAP and register for the FREE online workshop exclusively for everyone who orders the new Guided Journal. Map Your Child's Nervous System LIVE, online October 1- PLUS you'll get the recording
We are waiting to read your application for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals!
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
Sign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/Immersion
