Renew You with Quinn Kelly – Details, episodes & analysis

Anxiety is on the rise in teens and young adults. But what is causing it to rise and how to stop it is something many parents want to know. So today’s episode, which is part one of a two-week series, outlines what parents can do to rescue anxiety in their homes. 

In the episode, Quin teaches parents: 

1. The need for risk and responsibility in the lives of our children
2. The four rules for phones recommended by Jonathan Haidt
3. The power of failure in creating resilience against hardship 

 Mind Renewal Tip:
“Parents are overprotecting children in the real world and underprotecting them online. 

Scripture Renewal Tip:
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God”. Philippians 4:6-7

Anxiety is on the rise in teens and young adults. But what is causing it to rise and how to stop it is something many parents want to know. So today’s episode, which is part one of a two-week series, outlines what parents can do to rescue anxiety in their homes. 

In the episode, Quin teaches parents:

       1. The importance of identity in reducing anxiety
2. The power of belonging in your maintains your child’s well being
3. The reason goals are needed even in children and teens  

Mind Renewal Tip:
Our goal is parents isn’t to prevent all anxiety from being a part of our children’s lives, but instead to equip them with the right tools with how to handle it when it hits! 

Scripture Renewal Tip:
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2 

In today’s episode, Quin discusses the unhealthy pattern of trying to express yourself and your needs toward someone you love and feeling like that person consistently receives your needs as an attack on them.   

In response to that, Quinn teaches listeners how to break that pattern by: 

     1. Understanding the difference between attack versus communication
2. Disarming statements to use to help a discussion go well
3. Tips by Dr. John Gottman for creating soft start up in a conversation 

Mind Renewal Tip:
Focusing on what you need someone to do versus what someone did wrong disarms a person’s defensiveness.  

Scripture Renewal Tip:
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15
7 Ways to Soften Start Up by John Gottman 

     1. Take responsibility
2. Complain without blame
3. Start with “I” Statements
4. Describe what is happening
5. Be polite
6. Be Appreciative
7. Don’t let things build up 

In today’s episode, Quinn explores forgiveness and how to practice it in your own life so that you can move forward in peace instead of holding onto hurt by exploring: 

1) Why we are hardwired to hold a grudge and why we find it so hard to forgive.

2) What God says about forgiveness 

3) How to look at hurt in a new way and stop it from hurting us so deeply.  

Then Quinn teaches three steps to help listeners move into forgiveness:  

1. Accept the feelings instead of hurt and then identify what dream was taken. 

2. Do not personalize and rewrite the story where the offender’s intent wasn’t to harm you. 

3. Learn self regulation through gratitude. 

References:  

“Forgiveness is supernatural” Jon Stikl –Valley Creek Church 

Article on How to Forgive

No one likes a bad habit, but we often don’t know how to stop them. In today’s episode, Quinn addresses some common bad habits many people have and how to stop engaging in them by understanding why they exist and what we can do to stop them. 

In the episode, Quinn specifically addresses: 

• What neurotransmitters causes us to have bad habits and why we have them. 
• The three parts to every bad habit. 
• And how we can use emotional tolerance to break a habit.  

Mind Renewal Tip:

Bad habits often cause us to feel more of the negative emotion we are trying to avoid. 

Scriptural Renewal Tip:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. 1 Corinthians 10:13 

Have you ever felt like you are fighting off a negative voice in your head that condemns you and makes you not feel good enough in different scenarios? In today’s episode, Quinn is helping you dive into your thought life, understand why your thoughts matter and to take control of those negative thoughts so you can fill your mind with truth.   

In this episode, Quinn teaches listeners these three tips to help renew their minds: 

1. Outline our thoughts and Identify lies and truths 

2. Talk to yourself in third person in a kind and compassionate way 

3. Share negative thoughts with a friend and let them offer feedback 

Resources: 

Cognitive Distortions: Source Therapist Aid 

1. Black and white thinking/polarized thinking: Thinking in absolutes such as “always”, “never”, or “every”. “I never do a good enough job on anything. 

2. Mental filtering – discount the positives / forgetting the bad 

3. Catastrophizing- we take on small scenario and go worst  case scenario 

4. Magnification and Minimization 

5. Exaggerating or minimizing the importance of events. One might believe their own achievements are unimportant, or that their mistakes are excessively important.  

6. Overgeneralization: Making broad interpretations from a single or few events. “I felt awkward during my job interview. I am always so awkward.” 

7. Magical Thinking: The belief that acts will influence unrelated situations. “I am a good person—bad things shouldn’t happen to me.”  

8. Personalization: The belief that one is responsible for events outside of their own control. “My mom is always upset. She would be fine if I did more to help her.”  

9. Jumping to Conclusions: Interpreting the meaning of a situation with little or no evidence.  

10. Mind Reading: Interpreting the thoughts and beliefs of others without adequate evidence. “She would not go on a date with me. She probably thinks I’m ugly.”  

11. Fortune Telling: The expectation that a situation will turn out badly without adequate evidence.  

12. Emotional Reasoning: The assumption that emotions reflect the way things really are. “I feel like a bad friend, therefore I must be a bad friend.” 

13. Disqualifying the Positive: Recognizing only the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positive. One might receive many compliments on an evaluation, but focus on the single piece of negative feedback. 

14. “Should” Statements: The belief that things should be a certain way. “I should always be friendly.”  

In today’s episode, Quinn shares how to help balance roles and responsibilities in marriage — like laundry, dishes, yard work, parenting duties and more — so that partners feel respected and seen instead of resentful and annoyed.

As a part of this episode, Quinn teaches listeners some practical techniques that will help them: 

• Understand assumptions around household duties that are dangerous in marriage.
• Know what questions you and your partner need to ask one another in order to reduce resentment.
• Understand what spouse should focus on in marriage (and hint — it isn’t what their partner isn’t doing around the house!) in order to build appreciation.

So if you’re a person who has ever felt yourself getting resentful at a sink full of dishes...this episode is for you! New episodes come out every Tuesday, so be sure to subscribe so you never miss one!

Has someone ever asked you how you are doing and all you can say is: Busy? Or do you ever feel like you lay your head on your pillow at night and feel like you’ve been busy all day but don’t know what you’ve even done?! If you relate to feeling like your life is always busy but you’re not sure it’s been spent on the things that matter most to you, then this episode is for you.  

In it, Quinn talks about where the pressure to be busy comes from, how to separate out the things in your life that are necessary and urgent and the things that can be eliminated or delegated to someone else and then teaches listeners a deep breathing exercise that you can use to relax.  

Resources:  

eisenhower.me/eisenhower-matrix/ 

Welcome to RENEW YOU! A podcast about honestly, authentically and exploring what renewed faith looks like in every area of your life from the perspective of Quinn Kelly, a Jesus-loving wife, mom and marriage and family therapist.

Our Mission is to help you with “renewed” ways of approaching relationships and day-to-day life in a practical and fresh way through the thoughtful and genuine application of God’s word interwoven with helpful therapeutic strategies.

From marriage to parenting to friendships to diving into the Bible and everything in between, the RENEW YOU podcast will give you something to think about in a renewed way each week! Subscribe now and lets RENEW YOU!