Relationship Truth: Unfiltered – Details, episodes & analysis

Resources: Leslie's Quick Start Guide "She Deserves Better" by Sheila Gregoire "The Great Sex Rescue" by Sheila Gregoire Questions answered in this episode Can Women Offer Affection Without It Being Interpreted as a Sexual Invitation?

• Women may hesitate to show physical affection due to fear of it being seen as an invitation for sex.
• It’s important to communicate intentions clearly when offering hugs, kisses, or other forms of affection.
• An effective way to set boundaries: “I love being close to you, but I don’t always want it to lead to sex.”
• Men should understand that affectionate gestures are not always signals for sex; ongoing dialogue is key.

Is It Wrong for a Woman to Fake Orgasms?

• Faking orgasms can erode trust and intimacy in a relationship.
• Honest communication about sexual desires and experiences is essential.
• If a woman is not in the mood for orgasm, she should express this openly: “I want to be close to you but don’t expect me to reach orgasm.”
• Focus on connection and mutual pleasure rather than performance.

Are There Biblical Boundaries for Sexual Practices?

• Certain practices, such as extramarital sex and harmful activities, are considered off-limits.
• Biblical teachings emphasize respect, mutual consent, and preserving the sanctity of sexual relationships.
• Open dialogue about preferences and boundaries helps maintain a healthy relationship.

What About Covert Forms of Marital Rape and Coercion?

• Covert marital rape can involve emotional or spiritual coercion, where consent is not freely given.
• True consent involves the ability to express desires and boundaries without fear of negative consequences.
• If coerced into compliance, seek professional help and support to address these issues.

Is Masturbation a Concern in a Marriage?

• There is disagreement in the church on this topic. 
• Masturbation can be a natural part of sexuality and may not necessarily indicate problems in a relationship. 
• It’s important to discuss personal needs and expectations about masturbation within the context of the marriage.
• Addressing how masturbation affects the relationship openly and respectfully can lead to greater understanding and alignment.

My Wife Never Liked Sex but She Married Me—What Should I Do?

• Feeling deceived when a partner’s sexual preferences or desires differ from expectations can be challenging.
• It’s important to address these concerns openly with your partner and seek to understand each other’s needs and boundaries.
• Consider couples counseling to explore these issues in a safe, guided environment.
• Building a supportive relationship where both partners feel heard and valued is crucial, even if sexual desires do not align perfectly.

How Should We Handle Long-Term Relationship Repair and Growth?

• Long-term relationships, like homes, require regular maintenance and repair.
• Addressing emotional, physical, or relational damage is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship.
• Prioritize well-being and safety; if a partner’s behavior consistently harms the relationship, consider seeking therapy or reevaluating the relationship.

Final Thoughts

• Marriage and intimate relationships involve navigating various challenges and dynamics.
• Clear communication, mutual respect, and honest dialogue are essential for a fulfilling and healthy relationship.
• Seek support and resources to address issues and build a stronger partnership

RESOURCES: Resources: Kobe’s book: Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith Dwell Bible App 

In this episode, Kobe explores the intersection of prayer, therapy, and setting boundaries in the journey of healing from relational wounds and trauma. Drawing from personal and professional experiences, Kobe shares insights and practical tools to empower listeners in their healing journey.

Prayer as a Healing Practice:

• Importance of Prayer: Prayer serves as a foundational practice in connecting with God and seeking emotional and spiritual healing.
• Prayer in Daily Life: Kobe shares personal experiences where prayer has been pivotal in navigating challenges and finding peace amidst turmoil.

Spiritual Insights and Healing:

• Learning from Elijah: Elijah's journey in 1 Kings 19, is where God provided resources for endurance rather than immediate escape from suffering.
• Price of Righteousness: Doing the right thing does not always lead to immediate positive outcomes, yet God provides strength and resources for those who persevere.

Benefits of Therapy and Coaching:

• Perspective Beyond Pain: Therapy and coaching offer insights outside one's immediate suffering, essential for moving beyond trauma.
• Healing Responsibility: While not responsible for the initial wounds, individuals are accountable for their healing journey.
• Questioning for Growth: Asking oneself questions is pivotal for healing, acknowledging there are answers beyond current understanding.

Setting Boundaries and Biblical Perspective:

• Importance of Boundaries: Setting boundaries is biblical and mirrors God's design for relationships, fostering mutual respect and safety.
• Misconceptions: Boundaries are not about punishment but safeguarding conditions for personal thriving and mutual respect.

Breath Prayer for Healing:

• Kobe shares a breath prayer exercise as a contemplative practice, combining deep breathing with a prayerful connection to God's presence.

 

Join Moving Beyond People Pleasing! leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse

 

In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko talks with Jill, a woman navigating the complex journey of staying well in a challenging marriage. Jill shares her story of setting boundaries, seeking therapy, and balancing hope with vigilance. Her experiences provide valuable insights for anyone facing similar marital struggles. Tune in to hear Jill's candid account of the ongoing battle to maintain wellness in her relationship.

 

Introduction to Jill's Story:

• Jill's background and the challenges she faced in her marriage.
• Early signs of an emotionally unhealthy marriage.

Navigating Family Influences:

• Impact of Jill's mother-in-law on her marriage.
• Establishing boundaries with extended family.

Steps Towards Healing:

• Seeking counseling and church community support.
• Building a business together and navigating financial struggles with faith.

Challenges of Staying Well:

• The constant effort required to maintain healthy boundaries.
• Handling emotional triggers and setting consistent limits.
• The difficulty of not reverting to old patterns of behavior.
• Balancing hope for improvement with vigilance against setbacks.
• Navigating emotional health within the family and maintaining stability for her children.
• Recognizing and addressing codependency and manipulation in relationships.

Behavioral Changes in Marriage:

• Positive changes in her husband's behavior and their communication patterns.
• Significance of transparency and trust-building.

Final Thoughts and Advice:

• Jill’s advice for women in similar situations.
• Emphasizing the language of behavior and the importance of reflecting on personal responses.

 

 

This is a special audio version of a workshop Leslie conducted where she answers the questions, "How Long Do I Keep Trying?" and "How Do I Know if This Relationship is Dead?" 

CLICK HERE for a free handout to take notes as you listen: leslievernick.com/webinarhandout

You'll also get a roadmap to rebuilding broken safety and trust. 

Conquer doors are open for new members...but just for a short time. If you'd like to join Conquer, go to www.leslievernick.com/jointoday.

In this episode Leslie introduces you to a powerful member of her coaching team. Elise Berryhill shares, vulnerably, about her experience with grief and dealing with a family member entrenched in addiction. 

In this episode Leslie shares stories you haven’t heard before about her personal experience with emotional abuse and the impact it had on her, even into adulthood. 

Hear how Leslie dealt with her destructive mother, even into adulthood. And, learn how she found healing and the real, practical steps you can implement in your own healing journey. 

Healing from Emotional Abuse: Three Practical Steps

1. “I’m lost. Where am I?” Re-educate yourself on what is healthy. Learn to identify your emotions so you can address them.
2. “What is my problem with their problem?” Identify and take responsibility for your problem, not your abuser’s problem. This will show you the work you need to do.
3. Recognize your limiting beliefs

“You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending.” - C.S. Lewis

Join us for a free, private webinar on September 29th. Register at www.leslievernick.com/webinar

 

Leslie’s website: www.leslievernick.com  

Leslie’s Blog: https://leslievernick.com/blog

 

In this episode you'll meet Suzanne, a woman who didn't even recognize many of her habits as being the result of her destructive marriage. The product of an abusive home, she found it easy to believe her husband's behavior was her fault. 

Four children and several decades later an event happened that opened Suzanne's eyes and set her on a course of real healing. You'll hear specific things she did and tips she has for you in finding healing from a destructive relationship.

Today’s guest is Joy Forrest, founder and Executive Director of Called to Peace Ministries and author of, “Called to Peace: A Survivor's Guide to Finding Peace and Healing After Domestic Abuse.” 

 

To become an advocate, request a church partnership liaison or find personal support, go to www.calledtopeace.org

How do you know when you're ready to date again?

Hannah is the daughter of Maureen from Episode 3, "Free After 41 Years." Hear Hannah describe what life was like growing up with her destructive father and how it impacted her as an adult.