Real You, Real Money with Ray Dodd – Details, episodes & analysis

Get ready, cause this one’s a deep dive! Doctor Asher Larmie joins me in this episode of Real You Real Money to talk through the intricacies of gender identity, gender conditioning, and what it all means not only when you’re navigating your business, but the world.

Asher is a transmasculine doctor now working independently with clients to combat weight stigma and promote weight-inclusive care. Together, we dive into the complicated nuances between the very personal side of gender identity, and how it relates to the larger social conditioning and often arbitrary expectations we place on people based on the gender they’re born into. Bringing both of our experiences to the table, this conversation is mainly about what it means to be socially conditioned as female.

You can find out more about Asher at https://www.fatdoctor.co.uk/

This week I’m welcoming Joeli Caparco to the podcast! Joeli is a brilliant coach who helps people reconnect with their needs, wants, and desires so that they can have happier, healthier relationships.

Together we unpack the complexities of how money-making plays into, and sometimes determines the dynamics of our marriages and relationships. Fair warning, it’s a maze of conditioning, a healthy dose of grey area, and a whole lot of self (re)discovery!

Stay tuned as Joeli shares her own story of a dysfunctional money dynamic within her previous marriage, and how she created a new family balance that made room for the work that she’s passionate about and the moneymaking possibilities that come with it.

You can find out more about Joeli’s work at

queercyclecoach.com

@joelicaparco

I’m returning after a little hiatus, and with me is the brilliant Lauren Currie!

Lauren is the Founder of UPFRONT, and is on a mission to change confidence for 1 million women. An all-around powerhouse, Lauren has been awarded an OBE for her services to design and diversity.

Together we look at visibility from all angles, especially the ones that are trickier to navigate. From the positives of learning to own your work and show up as yourself, to the less explored complexity of privacy, safety, and pressure, we break down what it really means for people from all walks of life to show up online.

Ever notice how visibility is an ‘obligation’ that seems to fall on female business owners? Then this episode is for you…

You can find out more about Lauren here:

https://laurencurrie.co/

https://www.weareupfront.com/

QUOTES

“You can be private and authentic at the same time.”

“I think with female founders, the world wants to know everything about you. It's like: I'm going to decide if I'm your customer or not based on where you live, who you're in a relationship with, how you parent. I think it’s risky and we're only just starting to scratch the surface of what the consequences are for the women in these positions.”

“When you end up with a life that's so different to  the life that you came from, how do you  keep progressing?”

“Why do I need to be camera ready every day when I'm trying to actually build a business?  I look at male founders in the same position as me and they are not doing that.”

Today I’m taking a look back at the journey from the start of my business to where I am today. I’m currently revamping my own messaging and funnels, which has turned out to be a great chance to reflect on all of the experiences, inspirations, and even pitfalls that that are at the heart of my offers.

Listen in to hear about how and why I started my business, the circumstances that led me to the self-trust I needed to jump in with both feet, and how you can do the same no matter where you’re at.

If you caught the shoutout at the beginning of the episode, the undeniably brilliant Tamu Thomas just released her first book ‘Women Who Work Too Much’. Check it out here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Women-Who-Work-Too-Much/dp/1837820740

And if you’re interested in the upcoming round of Plenty, be sure to get on the waitlist: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty

QUOTES

“I realised how much easier it was for me to make money when I decided to trust myself. When I decided to do things in ways that felt good to me,  that is when it worked.

“I don't care what people think of me being visible. I need to feed my family.  That was a far more pressing concern than: what does so and so think of me being visible? Am I annoying these people?”

“I don't want you to have to hit a rock bottom experience in order to be able to act on your zones of genius or your deep desires. That was my story, but it doesn't need to be your story”

I’ve had a breakthrough around how I manage my days, and ultimately how I manage my business... so of course I wanted to share it with you!

There is so much focus on starting out in your business, but what happens once the excitement, the adrenaline, and even a little bit of fear has worn off? 

In a counterproductive way, I realised that I started replicating the very corporate structures that I started a business to get away from - things like equating being at my desk to productivity. These habits felt safe as they are familiar, but they certainly weren't productive or healthy.

Tune in for advice on how to break out and run your business and time in a way that works for you.

QUOTES

“We talk a lot about starting up, but we don't really talk about the ebbs and flows of running a business for a long time.”   “I was trying to replicate the working habits of being in an office…when part of the point of having my own business is not working within a system that doesn’t work for me!"

"I’ve found new ways of splitting my day up so I get more done, and don’t feel obligated to be tied to my desk...I am so much happier because I don't feel like I'm having to sacrifice one part of my life for the other.”

Today, we’re chatting about safety, familiarity, trust, and how all of these things come together to build the foundation of your business.

Running your own business means that you are likely reinventing typical structures, whether it’s in your sales, your offers, or even your day to day. You are at the centre of it all, and while that is super freeing in theory, it can be a challenge in times of doubt.

When we have to make big decisions or take risks, our brain’s instinct is to search for safety in the familiar. So what happens when we enter the uncharted territory of our new, play-by-our-own-rules business? Tune in for a discussion on how to avoid outsourcing your trust, and making decisions based on what you know instead of what you fear.

Interested in joining Plenty? Get on the waitlist here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/plenty

QUOTES  

“We are so worried about drowning – about it all going wrong – that we are like squirming with our legs, working frantically to stop drowning, when actually we can just put our feet on the floor.”

“The role of your subconscious is to make sure that you are safe. So it is asking without you consciously being aware of it in every situation: is this familiar? If it's familiar, I'll read it as safe.”

“I have to look at what is true, what I know, what I can touch. Not what I fear is true.”

Today we’re talking about how the people around you impact the kind of money you can make. From the influences you absorbed growing up, to clients’ opinions on affordability, to the type of businesses you aspire toward, it seems like you can’t turn a corner without someone else’s money beliefs jumping out to inform or challenge your own.

So how do we surround ourselves with money beliefs that will build us up and help us make the money we desire? Tune in for insight on the importance of a supportive money community, plus more on the unique inherited challenges that those of us historically left out of moneymaking face.

QUOTES

“I do think making money is harder for people who've traditionally been left out of money making. Imagine the people not in the cigar room drinking the brandy. The mental gymnastics that we have to do, the unravelling of the conditioning is broader and louder.”

“One of the reasons communities are so impactful is we share power.  We share power in communities. We share information, we share mistakes and failures. We share wins, we share wobbles,

“Making more money is vulnerable. It's so vulnerable. And you do not need to hold that alone.”

In this episode, I’m breaking down why your money mindset is directly linked to your sales. You may not realise it when you’re writing that sales email or editing that reel, but how you show up and sell in your business is directly related to how you feel about money, your potential to make it, and the role it plays in your life… not to mention in the world.

Tune in for insights on how improving your money mindset can help you meet your sales goals, plus lots more on taking up space and giving ourselves permission to sell.

And remember, Sell That Thing starts on February 12! Here’s the link with all the info: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/sell-that-thing

QUOTES

“My view on selling is that you are inviting people into your world, and yes there's an exchange of money in there, but the exchange of money is not the thing.”

“You're also gonna want to figure out how to sell without compromising who you are so that the whole of you gets to show up in selling. When you do that, you are going to attract the best fit people for you.”

“We often conflate selling and unkindness. People feel like the more they go out and sell, somehow they're adding more bad to the world... You are adding good to the world, really falling in love with what you do in terms of making the world a better place.”

In this episode, I’m jumping into some sticky money territory… even for this podcast!

I work with so many clients that are incredibly conscious of the ethics of their money making. If you’re a listener, it’s likely that you fall into this category of beautifully big-hearted business owners!

While there’s obviously so many good things about striving for an ethical business, there are moments where your conditioning around money can masquerade as kindness and keep you from entering that big moneymaking space that you long to fill.

Tune in for the sideways lessons we can learn from ‘unethical money makers’, and how we can embrace the many definitions of an asset that don’t have to do with ownership.

QUOTES

“Sometimes I think our worry, our moralizing, our over commitment to what's ethical and what's not ethical is holding us back in ways it does not need to.”

“We need to put a little more thought in than ‘this feels not right’. We need to think more critically than that.  Sometimes the ick is legit, and sometimes the ick is social conditioning in disguise, and it's keeping us broke.”

“The way that we've been conditioned is to believe that what money touches becomes bad or unkind is super interesting, because if we were just talking about community and we weren't thinking about what that community paying us, we wouldn't have these same thoughts.  When we introduce selling (to a community), our footing becomes unstable and we don't really know what's okay anymore.”

The idea of selling is one of the most common points of anxiety for coaches and independent business owners – who do we approach? How do we share our offers? How hard do we push? How do we deal with rejection? With a maybe?

Sales consultant Leah Gregory joins me to hash out these questions and more. We talk through those moments where sales get sticky, and the steps we can take to make selling less pressured and more about connection.

Leah works with 6 & 7 figure coaches to sell high ticket offers, lead and train their sales teams, and help them make more sales and help more people. You can find out more about Leah on IG at @iamleah.co.uk

Interested in joining me for a whole course on getting comfortable with selling? Read all about Sell That Thing here: https://www.raydodd.co.uk/sell-that-thing

QUOTES

“People write themselves off or they discount themselves from ever being the kind of person that can sell because they're like identity currently feels so far away from that… (instead) I believe we’ve unlearned the ability to sell ourselves.”

‘Sometimes “I can't afford it” is the easiest way to say no without saying no. It can be “I don't want to hurt your feelings because you're lovely, but I don't really understand how this offer fits into the context of my life.’

‘When it comes to sales, we want to get down to the granular. It's having this particular problem with this particular aspect of self-worth. So when I make an invitation, it's going to be based on that.’