Mastermind Parenting Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

Disappointment. Rejection. Failing to meet their goals. It’s so tough to watch our kids struggle when they’re feeling the discomfort of disappointment. 

I often call myself “a fixer in recovery that QUITE often relapses”. I have a joy agenda for the people I love.  

Sometimes my own discomfort over their discomfort leads to a relapse. I jump into full on fixer mode and forget that the growth mostly happens because of the messy human moments. 

Pain and uncertainty are as much a part of the human experience as success and happiness. It’s called the Law of Polarity. Life involves both the good and the bad. 

What if the real goal of parenting is to help our kiddos build resilience, so they can handle the hard things without losing hope?

My guest this time thinks so, and I think she’s onto something huge. Dr. Kate Lund is an expert on how to build resilience in ourselves and our kids. Her experience of growing up in a supportive family helped her deal with a painful chronic illness. Now, she teaches parents how to model resilience and prepare kids to navigate the world with confidence.

Something clicked while listening?

We’d love to talk with you if you want to dig deeper into your family’s specific situation. If you’re ready to stop guessing and start knowing what works, it might be worth a conversation. https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ 

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-329

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein coaches parents raising strong-willed kids. Randi searched endlessly to find the magical resource that would help her own highly sensitive, strong-willed child. (He’s now in his 20’s, healthy and happy-ish:). She’s been passionate about helping other “cycle-breaker”  parents like herself for almost two decades.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Dr. Lund

Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, author, and host of The Optimized Mind podcast. With specialized training from three Harvard Medical School–affiliated hospitals and more than two decades of clinical practice, she helps parents, athletes, students, and entrepreneurs thrive within their own unique contexts. Dr. Lund is the author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life, and Step Away: The Keys to Resilient Parenting. Through her writing, speaking, and clinical work, she empowers people to build resilience, manage stress, and unlock their potential.

Dr. Lund’s Web and Social Links

Website: http://www.katelundspeaks.com/ 

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_kate_lund/

Step Away e-book: https://www.amazon.com/Step-Away-Keys-Resilient-Parenting-ebook/dp/B0FN8D4KBT

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now...

Every time I learn more about Attachment Theory, it feels so eye-opening. It explains so much about me and my Mastermind moms. I hear it when we talk about how we were raised, how we relate to our parents, and how we’ve tried to fill the spaces we feel in our hearts. 

Building a secure attachment style is so important for who our kids will become in the future. But many of us are out here trying to figure out our own - let’s say “less than ideal”- attachment issues. How can we do even better for them?

My fave sage of attachment and healing, Kirby, is back to help us break it down and build it up. He says the key to security is an environment where kids feel safe to feel and express themselves, and he’s going to help us figure out how to create that space for our kids. You don’t want to miss this one!

Something clicked while listening?

We’d love to talk with you if you want to dig deeper into your family’s specific situation. If you’re ready to stop guessing and start knowing what works, it might be worth a conversation. https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/ 

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-328

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein coaches parents raising strong-willed kids. Randi searched endlessly to find the magical resource that would help her own highly sensitive, strong-willed child. (He’s now in his 20’s, healthy and happy-ish:). She’s been passionate about helping other “cycle-breaker”  parents like herself for almost two decades.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

About Kirby Fling

Kirby is the creator of the Two Mind Method, a practical, heart-centered approach to healing attachment wounds and reshaping nervous system patterns. Drawing on years of deep personal research, lived experience, and work with clients, Kirby specializes in helping people build healthier relationships with themselves and others. His work is grounded, accessible, and refreshingly real, offering tools that truly work in the messiness of real life. Kirby brings a unique blend of neurophysiology, trauma awareness, and emotional attunement to the table, empowering people to transform their inner world and their closest connections.

Kirby’s Web and Social Links

Website: https://TwoMindMethod.com

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TwoMindMethod

Instagram: https://instagram.com/TwoMindMethod

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@twomindmethod

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TwoMindMethod

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

You want to help your kids succeed in school - that’s a given. 

School success is a big area of anxiety and worry I often see with parents I coach. Many well-intentioned parents get more and more involved in their kids’ homework - but more involvement often leads to more long term struggles.

Becoming the homework helpline might help get your kids’ grades up temporarily. But it also teaches them to rely on you instead of learning how to figure things out for themselves. 

There’s no opportunity for your kid to develop agency.

Without your constant concierge-level concern, the kid finds themselves flailing and potentially feeling like a failure. Obviously, this is the polar opposite of how you want them to feel. 

Avery is back and joining me this week to share her experiences with my less-than-obsessed attitude toward homework, and how it helped and possibly hindered her too! 

As always, thanks for listening. Head over to Facebook, where you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community. We post tips and tools and do pop-up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

Get all the links, resources, and transcripts here: https://mastermindparenting.com/podcast-319

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein coaches parents raising strong-willed kids. Randi searched endlessly to find the magical resource that would help her own highly sensitive, strong-willed child. (He’s now 26, healthy and happy-ish:). She’s been passionate about helping other “cycle-breaker”  parents like herself for almost two decades.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources Discussed/Links

Our 12-week Basics Bootcamp program is now available as a 100% online self-study course! https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters/

Live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

Contrarian Kids are often moody, negative, and can have after school restraint collapse. They may be trying to tell us that they are feeling overwhelmed, and their negative attitude has been a way to get attention. Jillian, a medical professional, was stumped by her contrarian kid and spoke with Lindsay who helped her shift her relationship and her daughter. She realized she was focusing on her daughter being strong-willed without acknowledging that she was being strong-willed too, and that’s why they were constantly butting heads and her daughter would win every time. You may relate to Jillian's story as this conversation between Jillian and Lindsay provides an insightful resource to help those in similar situations.

"The reason that the contrarian pattern is in our lives is because there really is something to figure out. We must figure out what is causing my kid to have this blown nervous system so much of the time. Where are they putting so much energy out and using their bandwidth that it's just too much for them?"

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. What is the contrarian kid, and what do they want to tell us?

2. How can we help our contrarian children regulate their nervous system?

3. What is the story of Randi Rubenstein's formerly strong-willed child, and how did their relationship change?

And much more! The biggest thing Jillian has learned through this process of learning our N.I.C.E. framework to transform her strong-willed kid is that Jillian herself is a highly sensitive person. This is why I say parenting is the ultimate personal development journey. When we are open to coaching and seeing things differently, we learn so much not only about our kids but about ourselves as well. 

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters

• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/swc-quiz

• Book...

How often are we accidentally pouring gasoline on our fiery kids and fanning the flames rather than helping to extinguish the fiery outbursts? Today I have a mom who shares a story about her 10-year-old daughter beginning to spiral on an airplane because she was super thirsty.

She modeled for her daughter how to ask for what she needs in a polite way and allowed the flight attendant to help her get her basic need met. This helped to create a team atmosphere with her daughter and avoid a World War Three meltdown. I also share experiences that when I notice other parents struggling, I can provide positive attention to the child instead of judging the parent.

"Ask for what you need, let people support you, and appreciate it when they show up for you - it's not a big deal."

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How often are we making small deals into big deals in our minds?

2. What can we do when we see parents doing it wrong?

3. How can we create positive moments with strangers that can lead to powerful conversations?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters

• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/do-you-have-a-strong-willed-child/

• Book your FREE Solutions Session live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

• Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

"Transform your relationship into a healthy, mindful and conscious home for your children - learn to mend, not end."

Karen McMahon is a certified relationship and divorce coach and founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. She has been helping men and women around the world to become calm, clear, and confident as they navigate divorce since 2010.

Karen experienced the difficulty of navigating a divorce and parenting when her own marriage ended. She came to understand that the conversation was never about the relationship, but instead, it was the relationship itself. With the support of professionals, Karen realized that she had an equal part in the conflict, and she needed to take responsibility for that. She was able to build her self-confidence, find the resources and support she needed, and ultimately make the best decision for her and her children. Karen emerged from her divorce experience empowered and stronger, and now encourages others to take the same journey.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How can you know when it's time to mend or end your marriage?

2. What can you do to ensure you are making an empowered decision about your marriage?

3. How can you learn to navigate a high conflict divorce in an emotionally regulated way?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Karen McMahon, Divorce & Relationship Coach

Karen’s passion is to help men and women navigate the emotional difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. Your work together will open up the possibility that your current relationship challenges can lead to a rewarding voyage of self-discovery and an immensely more pleasing life experience.

Karen founded Journey Beyond Divorce in 2010, after discovering that the pain of dissolving her marriage had been the very stimulus for her personal transformation.

During her three and a half year tumultuous divorce, Karen’s life began to improve exponentially. With much hard work, she embraced her new life, created healthy friendships, found her true voice, and learned to set suitable boundaries and let go of what she could not control.

Learning to live a healthy enlivened life is something that we can share with our children creating thriving relationships with them while helping them grow emotionally strong and healthy.

Karen is the mother of two emerging adults, a graduate of the world’s leading coaching institute, Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and a Certified Member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

Karen’s other accomplishments include work as a NYS Lobbyist, Health Advocate, Community Organizer, and Chairperson of a NYS non-profit organization, Director of Sales and Marketing, and successful small business owner.

Karen’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/journeybeyonddivorce/

• LinkedIn:

Today I introduce you to the “E” in the N.I.C.E. Framework, the final step in this roadmap to teach kids the skills they don't have to manage their nervous systems and to turn around difficult behaviors. “E” stands for Enforce and it’s where we begin navigating the difficult task of balancing firmness and empathy while enforcing consequences sparingly.

We want to enforce consequences sparingly, as part of the N.I.C.E. Framework, which involves assessing basic needs, investigating behaviors, and communicating as a firm and loving “pack leader.” Consequences should be discussed out of the moment and should be logical and related. Following through on consequences can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it is a necessary part of disrupting old patterns and teaching children new skills. For more information on the N.I.C.E. Framework, please visit MastermindParenting.com for a self-study course or a twelve-week hybrid group and personalized coaching program.

"Disrupting a pattern by following through on a consequence that you discussed ahead of time and now you're actually having to follow through on it pretty much always blows, but you can mentally prepare to lean into the suckage and do the hard things."

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How can understanding the N.I.C.E. Framework help transform strong-willed kids?

2. What strategies can be used to effectively enforce consequences while still being a "nice" parent?

3. How can the N.I.C.E. Framework help parents learn to communicate with their children in a language they can comprehend?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters

• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/do-you-have-a-strong-willed-child/

• Book your FREE Solutions Session...

Today I introduce you to the “C” in the N.I.C.E. Framework, a roadmap to teach kids the skills they don't have to manage their nervous systems and to turn around difficult behaviors. “C” stands for Communication and it’s where we learn to communicate with our children in a language they can comprehend.

This N.I.C.E. Framework series teaches parents how to speak to strong-willed kids in order to help them stop living in a dysregulated state. During this episode, I discussed how it is important to communicate with our strong-willed, highly sensitive kids in a language they can understand, utilizing empathy and pack leadership. This style of communication allows us to assess basic needs, investigate behavior, and establish rules and boundaries without arguing or making excuses. It also involves actively listening and mirroring back what our kids say to show we believe them. Finally, if the same problematic behavior continues, we can establish a consequence in the E wing of the N.I.C.E. Framework. (Next episode, stay tuned!)

"When you learn how to communicate with our kids in this way, where we see their perspective and we really hear them. When we really listen to them, they feel heard and listened to, and then we can problem solve together."

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. Uncovering why our kids are not doing well and how to effectively communicate with them in a productive way.

2. Understanding the 77% of communication that is nonverbal and the language our kids can truly comprehend.

3. Discovering how to establish rules, boundaries and teach new skills with a combination of empathy and pack leadership.

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters

• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/do-you-have-a-strong-willed-child/

• Book your FREE...

Today I introduce you to the “I” in the NICE framework, a roadmap to teach kids the skills they don't have to manage their nervous systems and to turn around difficult behaviors. “I” stands for Investigation and it’s where we dive deeper to figure out what is causing our children to behave the way they do.

This NICE Framework series teaches parents how to speak to strong-willed kids in order to help them stop living in a dysregulated state. Last episode we focused on assessing basic needs like sleep and food. If the behavior continues, we move to the “I,” and we dig deeper and become a detective to uncover the root of the strong-willed behavior.

All behavior is a form of communication. A mom had a son who was getting in trouble at school, but it was discovered that he had a dyslexia diagnosis. Through investigating, it was also discovered that he was not getting enough sleep.

"Kids do well if they can. As Dr. Ross Green says. I love that quote. It just says it all."

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. What is the secret behind transforming strong-willed child behavior?

2. What is the QTIP tool for dealing with challenging child behavior?

3. How can a parent uncover the root cause of disruptive child behavior?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters

• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/do-you-have-a-strong-willed-child/

• Book your FREE Solutions Session live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/

• Join our Free Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/mastermindparenting

Today I introduce you to the “N” in the NICE framework, a roadmap to teach kids the skills they don't have to manage their nervous systems and to turn around difficult behaviors. “N” stands for Needs and it’s where we begin to figure out what is causing our children to behave the way they do.

This NICE Framework series teaches parents how to speak to strong-willed kids in order to help them stop living in a dysregulated state. We must assess basic needs like sleep, food, and connection before communicating and enforcing boundaries and consequences. A mom came to me after her daughter was using the “I’m scared” excuse to avoid tasks. I use this common challenge and unpack what the root issue is, then recommend looking at basic needs first and found that the connection between mother and daughter was the solution. We must take time to diagnose real problems and look for the solution in basic needs.

"Kids are designed to be magical thinkers and to experience a whole lot of joy and to get lost in play. So, if we have a kid that's not doing that, the majority of the time, we know we have a problem. We know we have a problem. It's just a matter of how do we fix the problem? What is the solution?"

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How can understanding basic needs help to transform a strong-willed child's behavior?
2. What are the components of the NICE Framework and how can it be used to communicate effectively with strong-willed kids?
3. How can pausing to assess basic needs interrupt the cycle of dysregulation in strong-willed children?

And much more!

As always, thanks for listening, and be sure and head over to Facebook and you can join my free group Mastermind Parenting Community, where we post tips and tools and do pop up Live conversations where I do extra teaching and coaching to support you in helping your strong-willed children so that they can FEEL better and DO better. If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it!

About Randi Rubenstein

Randi Rubenstein helps parents with a strong-willed kiddo become a happier family and enjoy the simple things again like bike rides and beach vacays.

She’s the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap. Randi works with parents across the U.S.

At Mastermind Parenting, we believe every human deserves to have a family that gets along.

Randi’s Web and Social Links

• Website: https://mastermindparenting.com/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mastermindparenting
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mastermind_parenting/

Resources and Links

• MiniMasters Self-Study Program for Parents of Strong-Willed Kids: https://mastermindparenting.com/minimasters
• Take the "Is My Child Strong Willed Quiz,” it’s free! Just go to: https://mastermindparenting.com/do-you-have-a-strong-willed-child/
• Book your FREE Solutions Session live assessment: https://mastermindparenting.com/live-assessment/
• Join our Free Facebook Group: