Living Out Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

So far in this series we’ve talked about why we need friendships and the difference Jesus makes to them, but what does that look like in reality? Adam and Ashleigh each sit down with a friend to talk about how their friendship has brought them closer to God and taught them more about him, and share their reflections on what has helped their friendships to thrive. Why not share this episode with a friend and let them know how much you appreciate them? 

Resources mentioned and related 

• The Radiant Dawn Tom Parsons 
• From Glory Into Glory Tom Parsons 
• Three or More Andrew Bunt  
• Friendship and Intimacy (Friendship #3) 

Isn’t intimacy all about sex? How and why should we pursue intimacy in our friendships? We’re joined by Katherine (Kaleidoscope contributor and part of the Being Human team at the Evangelical Alliance) for a conversation about different kinds of intimacy, how we can practically cultivate deeper and more intimate friendships, and how to navigate some of the risks inherent to pursuing intimacy in friendships.   

Resources mentioned and related 

• Kaleidoscope 
• Relationships Matter Evangelical Alliance 
• Have You Been Intimate With Anyone Recently? Andrew Bunt 
• Emotional Dependency Andrew Bunt 
• Simon: Intimacy and Emotional Dependency (Different Stories #4) 
• In Praise of Awkward Conversations Andrew Bunt 
• Navigating Physical Touch Andrew Bunt  
• Made for Friendship Drew Hunter 
• Upcoming Living Out Events 
• Stop Looking for the Perfect Friend Andrew Bunt 
• Power in the Mundane Andrew Bunt 

This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Sometimes God breaks into our lives in the most unlikely circumstances. Robert was sexually abused by a teacher at school, forced into becoming a Christian, and went on to marry a woman and lead a church – all while being same-sex attracted and not truly knowing Jesus. From there things fell apart, and Robert began living as an out gay man. Only later would he come to know the love of God for the first time, and give his life to Christ.  

Resources mentioned and related 

If you’re affected by any of the issues raised in this episode, please reach out to someone you trust. In the UK, you can also contact Samaritans for support – call 116 123 free, 24 hours a day. 

Samaritans also provide a full list of organisations you can contact for advice on a range of issues, including abuse and mental health. You can find that here. 

This week we're chatting with Sean Doherty who works in theological education and teaches Christian Ethics. He realised he was gay/same-sex attracted in his late teens but to his surprise he ended up married to Gaby, who is currently a curate.

Sean talks about his experiences of marriage as someone who is same-sex attracted, and explores more generally what godly sexual attraction looks like. We also discuss how the church can respond in a helpful way when a gay couple become Christians and we talk about what healthy committed friendship looks like.

Resources mentioned

• Sean and Gaby's story
• Is It Ever Responsible for People With Same-same Attraction to Get Married? Sean Doherty

This week we're chatting with Jeanette Howard - author, speaker, gardener and pet-sitter. We explore her story of growing up with gender confusion, developing same-sex attraction and coming to faith in the 1980s through her then-girlfriend.

She explains how she left a gay lifestyle behind and shares what has helped her to grow in her love of Jesus. She also challenges the church to support others like her by being real family to one another.

We also talk about her latest writing project - Betrothed: Wooed By a Greater Love.

Resources mentioned

• Jeanette's story
• Out of Egypt Jeanette Howard
• Into the Promised Land Jeanette Howard
• Dwelling in the Land Jeanette Howard

In this episode, we’re talking to Vaughan Roberts. Vaughan is a pastor at St Ebbe’s Church Oxford, where he has been for 30 years. Here he shares his experiences of coming out as same-sex attracted and what he’s learned about sharing personal experiences with others. He explores whether it’s wise for all same-sex attracted Christians to come out, and some things to think about when we do share with others. We also discuss friendship and what Song of Songs can teach us about intimacy with Christ.

Resources mentioned

• Should All Same-Sex Attracted Christians Come Out? Vaughan Roberts
• True Friendship Vaughan Roberts
• Song of Songs 1:1-2:7 – “Better than wine” Vaughan Roberts
• Song of Songs 2:8-3:5 – “The season of singing” Vaughan Roberts
• Song of Songs 3:6-5:1 – “You have stolen my heart” Vaughan Roberts
• Song of Songs 5:2-6:3 – “Faint with love” Vaughan Roberts
• Song of Songs 6:4-8:14 – “Come away, my beloved” Vaughan Roberts

In this episode, we’re talking to Sam Allberry who works as a pastor and an apologist, and was part of the team that founded Living Out. Here Sam talks to us about how the church is supporting same-sex attracted Christians, which bits of the Bible he focuses on when he teaches about sexuality and why it is a gospel issue. We also chat about his recent books about singleness and sexual ethics and explore themes of consent, Christian community and the purpose of marriage.

Resources mentioned

• What Does the Bible Say About Homosexuality? Sam Allberry
• Why Can't Christians Agree to Differ? Sam Allberry
• 7 Myths about Singleness Sam Allberry
• Why does God care who I sleep with? Sam Allberry
• The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
• From Shame to Sin: The Christian Transformation of Sexual Morality in Late Antiquity Kyle Harper
• Faithful: A Theology of Sex Beth Felker Jones

In this episode, we’re talking to Dani Treweek who is the chair of singlemindedconference.com and has recently completed PhD research into a theological ethic of singleness. Dani explains about her research into singleness in the church and unpacks some of the issues that we all need to think about in order to value and include single people in church life. She talks about how we can learn from historical Christian thinking that challenges our contemporary cultural blind spots and leads us into a richer understanding of God’s design for singleness, marriage and our sexualities.

Resources mentioned

·      Single Minded Conference

·      Liberty Sydney

·      On ‘Old Books’ and the Single Christian Life Dani Treweek

·      7 Myths about Singleness Sam Allberry

·      Breaking the Marriage Idol: Reconstructing Our Cultural and Spiritual Norms Kutter Callaway

In this episode, we have a fascinating conversation with Adam Curtis. Adam is a Curate in Sidcup and oversees evangelism at his church. In this interview Adam gives an honest, warm and hopeful account of how he came to terms with his same-sex attraction and applied the truths of the gospel to his sexuality. We also discuss his research on Queer Theology and the sexuality of Jesus.

Resources mentioned

• What is Queer Theology? Adam Curtis
• The Sexuality of Jesus Adam Curtis 
• Intimate Jesus: A Review Adam Curtis

For this episode, we’re chatting to Andrew Bunt. Andrew is part of the leadership team at King’s Church Hastings and Bexhill and is also a speaker and writer with Living Out. In this interview we explore his story as he sought to reconcile his faith and his sexuality. He covers coming out, forming views on what the Bible says about homosexuality, wrestling with the implications of biblical teaching, issues of identity and emotional dependency and advice on how we can do better to nuture godly intimacy.

Resources mentioned

• 'Who in Heaven’s Name Do You Think You Are?' Andrew Bunt 
• ‘Is My Sexuality Who I Am?’ Andrew Bunt 
• ‘Emotional Dependency’ Andrew Bunt
•  ‘Identity in Christ’ conference talks