Jim's Take – Details, episodes & analysis

As we have put a wrap on 2019, it’s now time to focus on the possibility and opportunity that looms in 2020. Each December I set out to create my goals for the next year - and align my focus on what’s important to me and where I want to go over the next 365 days. It’s one of my favorite things to do - unbridled imagination of what’s possible and dreaming.  I’ve never been a fan of creating resolutions - simply because they don’t work. They live and die within a moment of hope, and when the rubber has to meet the road, we drop off. Gym memberships go unused, books unread, misaligned priorities failed. And the reason they fail is because they don’t align with our priorities and our values. If the resolutions were that important to us, we would be doing them already.  But that’s not to say a resolution doesn’t have value. Resolutions are generally a recognition that something needs to change. And when we are creating our goals for the next year, it could be a good place to start. Last week I talked about how we have changed over the past twelve months. The person you are today is not the person who kicked off the year. And it’s a good place to start as you plan your goals for twelve months from today. Who is the person you are looking to become?  Vision … Priority … Action Once we define our vision of who we want to be, it’s time to prioritize and take action. And that’s an important step to remember. An annual goal or resolution is ultimately a reflection of your priorities. Which priorities need adjustment? It’s an exercise in identifying what you can control and how you can implement the change you wish to see.  It takes levels of thought and reflection. Goals like hitting the gym or spending more time with family are nice, but you need to ask yourself why. What is the deeper desire driving it? How does it align with your values? How will these goals and priorities help you become the person you want to be come next December? Using Gratitude to Help The holidays are a busy time, for sure, but it’s also a time where people tend to be gracious, grateful, reflective and open. It’s a great time to meet new people and to effect change. There is a science to gratitude that shows a relationship between a “gratitude mindset” and goal setting. When we are in a “gratitude mindset,” it’s a time when our values and the things most meaningful to us are most prevalent.  So as I think forward to next year - I encourage you to challenge yourself with good questions on what’s possible. Think through those values and priorities that will help you get to where you want to be in a year. No matter how frivolous or odd your goals are - they are your goals.  Adversity will be there, but it’s easier to overcome when our goals and priorities are aligned with our values. You have the capability; you have the desire. Now you just need to prioritize.  And - bonus point - if you get this done early enough, you can share it with those people closest to you that you see around the holidays - their support will make it that much easier. Happy holidays, best wishes for a kick ass 2020, and I look forward to hearing about all you accomplish!

It’s almost time that we put a wrap on 2019, toss it into the memory bin and focus on going forward. We have evolved another year, which is long or short depending on how you look at it. At the end of a year, it’s a good pivot point to ask yourself the important questions of where you are and where you want to be on your journey. If we are lucky, we get about 80 or so of these pivot points, and considering that many of us are at least half way there, it’s important to take it seriously.  When we look back on the year, there are two buckets of questions that we should be asking. The first bucket is reflective (what did I do?) and the second bucket is forward looking (how do I build on this and go forward?).  Annual questions are big ones. They allow us to take bigger stock of what we are doing and accomplishing and separate the forest from the trees. How much have you evolved in the past year, when you think back to the person you were in January? The evolution gets bigger and bigger the more I think about it. When I started my list of things for 2019, I found I kept going back to it a week later to add more.  The reason is that we forget all that we do. And we forget the reasons why we didn’t do some of the things we set out to. It comes down to priority. And our priorities change. The person you are today is going to be making very different choices than the person you were a year ago. And that’s a good thing. My year was incredible - I turned 40, completed an Ironman, launched Bellwether and the podcast, gave up drinking, served with the Irish Business Organization, had my best business year and had great family moments (among many other things). I’m super proud of all of that. But behind the surface, there were a lot of  things that I didn’t accomplish this year that I had wanted to. I’m now in the process of reflecting on their priority and seeing if they should be on my list for 2020. The question of why they didn’t get done leads to important decision thoughts for later. Again, priorities. Here are just some of the questions I ask myself at the end of each year:  Was I the person I wanted to be? What did I accomplish that I set out to do? What didn’t I accomplish that I set out to do? How come?How do I build on both of these for next year?Is there any priority that comes off my list?What did I learn this year? What do I need to adjust going forward?How can I take all of this information and improve going forward?  It’s a lot of reflection. It’s a lot of work. But when you sit on the train, or commute to the office, or sit in the doctor’s office - noodle these around. You’ll be surprised with what you learned and how much you have changed in just 365 days. It’s exciting to think about. Next week, I’ll cover how to take what you learned and use them to prepare your 2020 goals (don’t make resolutions - they don’t work). More to come in the future … so stay tuned!

I feel like a zen master with that title.  We are coming up on the end of the year; the time to be reflective, take stock of what we have accomplished, and plan for all that we hope to accomplish in the coming year. And in order to make this time truly effective, there is one primary area on which we should focus: the questions we are asking.  We don’t think about questions. They just exist - like nouns, verbs and Pauly Shore. When I ask my clients to define what a question is, they give a variety of answers that don’t quite ecompass the purpose of questioning. A question, to define it, is a request for information where you legitimately don’t know the answer. This year I’ve spoken often about the value of learning and entering situations with a “learning mindset.” It’s not my unique idea; there’s plenty of information out there on it. But, from what I have experienced over the years, there is no better way to get past any challenge that comes my way.  And in order to have a learning mindset, we need to eliminate assumptions. A tall order, for sure, but the way to do that is to ask a good question. I think back to corporate life and how often people were told to work on “listening skills.” That’s nice, but they are irrelevant if we are not asking the right questions. I think also of all the questions people did ask during meetings or over e-mail, dripping with sarcasm, agenda or snark. These aren’t questions - they are judgmental statements. We do it in our home life as well. Over time, we create assumptions. Due to the Principle of Least Effort, we know that our brains will take every opportunity to work as lightly as possible. So it jumps over details. Those details become assumptions, and in doing so, we fill the gaps with our own perspective, and that affects how we interact with people.  The questions we are asking ourselves are impactful to our own learning about ourselves. Over the next two weeks I’ll cover the questions to ask yourself to recap your year and to plan for the new year. Your capability, your growth, your levels of accomplishment and happiness and joy and sparkles are all a reflection of the questions you ask yourself.  No judgment, pure curiosity. You’ll be shocked at what you can learn about yourself. If I can recommend some books on the topic, I’d say the two best on questions that I have read are: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams and The Art of the Focused Conversation by The Institute of Cultural Affairs. Happy reading!

Last week we talked about the value and purpose of a network. The point of networking is to build a community; a group of people who best represent who you are and can help you grow as an individual.  Our network should be designed to motivate us, get us moving and help us be successful.  We all have a network in place. And a good network is powerful. Each person we know in turn knows many others. Each person in our network is in a position to recommend us to other people. They are our personal PR team - focused on laying the groundwork for a good introduction.  You’d be amazed at who your network knows. When I chat with my network, I learn that they know professional athletes, actors, senior business executives and entrepreneurs. Think for a moment about the most impressive people you know. Now think about how each of them can help each other.  Knowing people is “nice.” But what about when you need something? How do you leverage the expertise in your network to help you get to another level? The details are simple: focus on being both intentional and specific.  In order to make a request of anyone in our network, we have to be intentional in laying the “groundwork” for the ask. Leveraging any relationship requires equity. Don’t expect people to move mountains for you when you just meet them. There needs to be a mutual respect and understanding of how people can help you. We like to help people if they can help us as well.  When making your ask, be specific. Your network needs to understand how to help you. Have you properly articulated to others the details of what you are looking for? Your growth, and accomplishment, is significantly easier if other people can speak for you. Eliminate your acronyms, speak in plain detail, and most of your work will be done for you.  Finally, be open to new ways of thinking. Again - your network is a phenomenal representation of who you are. And you need people who think differently to challenge your best self. If your network isn’t getting you to think differently about your business, or who you are, then work needs to be done in finding those different perspectives. Why include anyone in your network that doesn’t challenge the way you think?  We are a result of the people closest to us. We want to help other people. Pick your network well, and they will make your life, business, choices and growth that much easier.  Happy week - enjoy it. For those in the States - have a tremendous Thanksgiving. And if there is anyone I can help network - just reach out!

Welcome to the holiday season. With Halloween behind us, and Costco selling Christmas trees, it’s important to think about doing something for yourself during the holidays: Networking. The holidays are the perfect time to network. There are plenty of opportunities for parties and meetups, uber amounts of people getting together in one place, and everyone feels generous and wants to help out. The table is set.  The challenge is that most people don’t like networking. They don’t like it because it tends to be anxiety-inducing and a massive chore. However, with a recession looming and the need for solid relationships growing, people can skip networking at their peril. What is refreshing, though, is that networking can be simple if we think about it in the right way.  People make two big mistakes when networking - which is what’s driving the anxiety. First, people wait to network until they need something. Second, they try to sell to the people standing in front of them.  Network on a High Your network is about relationships, and building good, long-term ones. To hold off networking until you need something doesn’t allow you to build the relationship equity you need in order to have someone help you. Those networking when it’s “too late,” (lost a job, need new clients) give off a desperation air that will make potential contacts uncomfortable. Much of the advice you get when trying to learn how to network is that you should do so with confidence. Much easier said than done. But when you think about it, we are most confident when things are going well. That makes it the perfect time to meet new people. It gives us the best reflection of ourselves, and gives other people the confidence to refer you for a job or new client. Don’t Sell to the People In Front of You The other big mistake people make is trying to sell to the people in front of them, or ignoring people that don’t fit their “sales mode.” It’s extremely short-sighted. If a sale comes up in the moment - that’s fine, great, added bonus. But the real focus of adding someone to your network is to meet the people that they know.  I met a liquor salesperson at a networking event once. We chatted briefly, and he cut it short because “he couldn’t sell to an executive coach” and went looking for a potential sale. But if we had continued the conversation, he would have known that I know more than a few bar owners, and have lots of friends and relatives in the liquor distribution business (that means bartender, FYI). I’m Irish in New York, for the sake of Pete. Everyone knows at least a thousand people. And for each person you add to your list, they know a thousand people. So if you met five new people at a networking event, they could potentially introduce you to five thousand people. Those are the people you want to meet and sell to, and it makes it much easier when you have an introduction.  We put too much pressure on ourselves when we network. I found it cathartic when all of this started to make sense - that I can now go into a networking event with no pressure; just the desire to meet new people and learn about what they are looking for. I’m happy to make introductions when I can, because what good is a network if you can’t use it to help other people? Next week I’ll be covering how to make an ask of your network … so I’ll put up more then! Have a great week! 

This past weekend I took the plunge and made the psychotic attempt to run an Ironman. I finished (over 14 hours later), and am thrilled that the anxiety of an unknown mountain is behind me. I’m happy I did it, more happy it's over, and further details on my experience are in the podcast (player below). That said, here are a few of the big learnings I took away from the weekend.  First, Anyone can do it. Training and preparing for an Ironman takes a ton of work, but anyone can do it. Completion takes commitment and desire; that’s it. I saw some people doing it with prosthetic legs; others were all kinds of ages and shapes and sizes. Everyone is different, and everyone has their own time.  But that’s part of the secret to finishing an Ironman - it’s “your” time, not anyone else’s. Focusing on you, and what you need to finish the race, is the only thing that matters as people whiz by you. Which brings me to learning number two.  It’s a mental event. People talk about the physical challenges of completing an Ironman, but it’s really a mental game, on two fronts. One, and this is fundamental, in order to complete an Ironman you have to believe that you can do it. You are drawing on your capability, your belief that you can put one more step in front of the other. That’s what you build on to complete the race Second, you have to stay in your lane. Once you believe you can do it, you have to block out everyone else. Everyone is running their own race in their own time. They have different backgrounds, did different training. One person may be on their first Ironman, another on their fiftieth. If someone blows by you on the bike, good for them. Recognizing what you need, and not anyone else, is what gets you to the finish line.  These mental items are the same for everything else, whether you are starting a business, writing a book, or trying out a new initiative. By focusing on you, and what you need, and recognizing that you are capable of great and crazy things, you are able to take the steps needed to accomplish anything.  It’s not a peak. Philosophically speaking, an Ironman isn’t “who you are,” it’s a step along the way. It’s a part of your evolution. We can all set crazy goals, accomplish them, and that becomes part of the person who moves on to the next item.  And when I think of Ironman like that, it’s now a part of me, and a part of the person who will try some other outrageous item (A book? New business? Who knows?). That, to me, is what’s most exciting.  We can all make crazy goals, but what’s thrilling and most astounding to me is that we are capable of reaching them. It’s an exciting prospect to challenge ourselves, fight through a bit of pain, and come out the other end as a finisher. I’ll be using this high to make the remainder of the year a bit more productive, and I hope to encourage you to challenge yourself in 2020! Note: If you are thinking of doing an Ironman (or other smaller event), feel free to reach out and I’m happy to share my training program, or just chat through the random questions people may have. With my buddy Larry at the end ...

At Bellwether, we prefer to learn from the best.  And when it comes to mindfulness, focus and performing under pressure, you find the best on one of the most intimidating stages in the world: the New York Philharmonic. Richard Deane, Principal French Horn for the NY Phil, executes with graceful detail in front of one of the most fastidious and discriminating audiences that exist (classical music fans). And he does so with one of the most challenging instruments you can play. Getting to his seat is an arduous journey. Some would argue that staying in that seat is even more challenging.  It takes focus. It takes meditation and mindfulness. It takes humility and grace and all of those other really nice words we wish people used about us.  Richard shares his story - of what got him to where he is, and how he remains focused while playing exquisite music on a grand scale. Most importantly, and this was the question I could hardly wait to ask, is how to get your focus back after making a mistake. The metaphors are solid and the advice is tangible. I loved learning from Richard, and I know you will, too.  You can learn more about Richard on his website: www.richarddeane.com You can learn more about the New York Philharmonic here: www.nyphil.org