Intimate Interactions – Details, episodes & analysis

Talking about flirting and creepiness with men can be challenging sometimes. I’ve heard folks literally say you can’t even flirt anymore because it could lead to negative consequences. Today, I’m going to chat about the difference between flirting and creepiness. Spoilers: it’s all about the dynamic between two people, not about what one person is communicating.

Our guest today is Andre Lazarus, an Intimacy and Sex coach, a Surrogate Partner, and a Sacred Intimate with over 10 years of experience in non monogamy. His new project is the Open to More: How to Navigate Consensual Non-monogamy course at https://coming-closer.com/. You can find him @comingcloserwithandre on social media. Now let’s talk about fragility, defensiveness, and creepiness - and best of all, how to do your best to avoid them and channel accountability, consent, and nurturance here on Intimate Interactions.

Today I’m interviewing Roy Biancalana, a 62 year old white guy who was once a TV analyst from Florida. I know you’re probably not sure where this is going - usually when someone says man from Florida, you’re expecting to to be like a “man from Alberta” story but bigger, crazier, Americaner. In this case, I’m interviewing a Chicago-based relationship coach of 15 years who self-describes as having made almost every relationship mistake a cis heterosexual man can make.

This episode we’ll get to know each other a little and talk about accountability.

Site: https://coachingwithroy.com/

Book: Relationship Bootcamp

Podcast: The Attracting, Lasting Love Podcast

I’m excited to introduce my guest today, Mahima. She grew up in apartheid zimbabwe, married a swiss man at 21, divorced at 22, and is focused on cultivating peace, connection to self, to soul, and to sexual expression. Content warning for abuse, racism, body image, weight loss, self loathing, and apartheid. If I had to sum Mahima up in two words, it would be “love yourself.” Let’s go to the session.

We’ve all probably heard the phrase “new normal” multiple times with respect to COVID-19. It can be daunting, upsetting, and even panic inducing. Adapting to a new normal is something that many chronically ill or disabled folks already understand though. The knowledge is out there in how to care for yourself and how to support yourself and build connected networks of folks who can support one another.

Sapphire is exactly such a chronically ill person and we talk about grief and loss. Grieving is a tremendously important skill and hearing from someone who has had cancer before and who has cancer now and has lived as chronically ill seems appropriate.

Life sucks right now. All we can do is self care and remind each other how much we love each other.

Jazz Goldman is currently living in Mexico during the 2020 coronavirus pandemic. They are saving rent money, getting more sun to help with mental health, and staying further away from folks than they could do in New York. So it’s having physical, mental, and financial health benefits. Of course, depression is still hard to kick for most of us during this pandemic; and it’s always hard to be a refugee even if you’re living more like an expat.

Content warning: we talk a fair amount about pandemic benefits

Kathy from the podcast Friends in Your Ears talks about why she got into podcasting. We had a fun diversion about small, fuzzy animals.

Accessing healthcare can be a challenge if you don’t have a condition that fits neatly into a box. You can be accused of being drug seeking, especially common if you’re a BIPOC person. Doctors often don’t know what to do with you and bounce you around to other professionals hoping they’ll figure it out instead. It’s helpful to have an advocate and super important to stay organized and be the coordinator between doctors and medical professionals. Sapphire shares their experience with the healthcare system as a person fighting cancer.

Welcome to the two and a half year celebration of Intimate Interactions. We’ve been around almost three years now! Wow! I couldn’t have imagined this. Thank you for all your support on Patreon!

We often think about friends and family during the cold and dark winter months, focusing on what we can control over what we can’t. We organize celebrations that hold rituals of significance for us. However this year instead of a history lesson on Winter Solstice, Yuletide, Christmas, Kwanza, or Chanukah, I decided to simply ask: how do dolphins mark important occasions? What does an orca celebration look like?

Now, my laptop started bluescreen looping and needed to be recycled so I bought a refurbished laptop which is currently stuck in a boot loop so I’m recording without my usual microphone. Thanks for your patience! Also, deepest apologies for being late on this one. I had intended to release it Christmas morning but got a severe and debilitating migraine that lasted a day and a half, so instead, I’m releasing it now ^.^

Enough of that though - let’s talk about Billie, our resident cetacean expert. She talks to us today about super pods, orca penis displays, and family reunions - and disturbingly, all three can happen at the same time - but I’ll let Billie fill us in on that one.

When I say dominatrix, what’s the first thing you think of?

In my experiences, dominatrices are just people. Most of the ones I know are moms, for example. Many have partners. Many have partners. Sure, sometimes those partners are sexually submissive but not always. Most of the ones I know are fun people to hang out with.  Some are married to cis men and some are queer.

We chat about how dominating men for money interacts with family life, partnerships, sex, and doing sex work. We talk about risks and costs a little. Mostly we’re just two people talking about jobs we’ve had.

Sex work is just work - no matter how dangerous or safe the specific version takes, sex work is real work and is rarely ever just for fun - though most providers have had moments that haven’t felt like work, and that’s true of most people who have gone to work in any job. Most of us have had those rare days where we can’t believe we’re getting paid to do what we do for work.

Sapphire is a non binary friend who has cancer. They have four children and a husband, and are kind enough to give us their time to chat about their experience in the medical system as well as their experiences beating thyroid cancer and what treatment for that was like as well as their effective treatment so far with triple negative breast cancer. I learned stuff and hope you will as well. Content warning: if you’re American and free healthcare bothers you, we will talk about free healthcare and more to the point: we will be a couple of sick Canadians complaining about our free healthcare. This may enrage you. You have been warned. Enjoy the session y’all.