The no-bullshit sex and relationship podcast where sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) says everything you're too afraid to.
Stop having mediocre sex and level up your game!
🎧 New episodes every week.
Site
RSS
Apple
Data updated on 06/11/2026
Recent rankings
Latest chart positions across Apple Podcasts and Spotify rankings.
Shared links between episodes and podcasts
Links found in episode descriptions and other podcasts that share them.
What Happens to Your Vulva as You Age? Menopause, Hormones & Sexual Health (ft. Dr. Maria Sophocles)
Season 8 · Episode 7
Thursday, October 29, 2026 • Duration 51:29
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Dr. Maria Sophocles, gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, women’s health advocate, and author of The Bedroom Gap, for a conversation about women’s sexual health, hormones, menopause, aging, and pleasure.
What really happens to your vulva as you age? How do estrogen and testosterone affect your libido, energy, memory, vaginal health, and ability to enjoy sex? And why are so many women still struggling to get answers about their own bodies?
In this episode of In Bed With Alexa, Alexa and Dr. Maria unpack the science, misinformation, and often-overlooked realities of female sexual health: from changes in the vulva and vagina to hormone therapy, pelvic floor health, and why your sex life can actually get better with age.
TOPICS DISCUSSED:
Vulva anatomy and what’s normal: Labia asymmetry, vulva diversity, body image, cosmetic labiaplasty, and how unrealistic porn standards can shape insecurities about genital appearance.
The clitoris and sexual education: The internal anatomy of the clitoris, its nerve endings, why it has been overlooked in medical education, and the lack of research into women’s sexual health.
Sexual health stigma and patient questions: Common concerns about genital anatomy
How the vulva changes with age: Collagen breakdown, loss of fat, changes in pubic hair, reduced sensation, diminished blood flow, and changes in the appearance of the labia.
Vaginal dryness and vaginal atrophy: How declining estrogen affects blood vessels, tissue elasticity, natural lubrication, and comfort during sex.
Vaginal and vulvar treatments: Vaginal estrogen, vaginal testosterone, DHEA, CO2 laser treatments, vulvar serums, barrier creams, and fillers for vulvar volume.
Labia minora shrinkage after menopause: Why the labia can become thinner over time, how this may affect sexual sensation
Menopause and hot flashes: Why hot flashes happen and hormonal and nonhormonal approaches
Muscle mass, strength, and sexual function: Why strength training, flexibility, mobility, and balance matter for sexual activity, healthy aging, and longevity.
Menopause and cholesterol: Why LDL cholesterol can rise during menopause
Testosterone in women: its potential roles in libido, energy, memory, spatial recognition, mitochondrial health, and lean muscle mass.
Testosterone treatment and potential side effects: Off-label treatment, monitoring hormone levels, acne, unwanted facial or body hair, mood changes, voice deepening, and clitoral enlargement
Hormone replacement therapy (HRT): Systemic versus topical estrogen, the role of progesterone
Hormones and cancer misinformation: Breast cancer risk, estrogen-related concerns, the difference between correlation and causation
Osteoporosis and the long-term effects of menopause: Bone health, delayed treatment, and why women should discuss their options rather than dismissing hormone therapy based on fear
HPV, cancer prevention, and vaccination: HPV’s links to cervical, anal, and throat cancers, HPV vaccination
Sex and intimacy as you age: Why sexual satisfaction can improve with age, letting go of performance pressure, and embracing intimacy and pleasure at every stage of life.
Rethinking pleasure and productivity: Why sexual pleasure deserves a place in your life
Disclaimer: This episode is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice. Discuss hormone therapy, medications, supplements, and treatment options with a qualified healthcare professional.
Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/alexa
Your Dating Standards Are Keeping You Single (ft. Todd Baratz, LMHC)
Season 8 · Episode 6
Thursday, October 15, 2026 • Duration 01:02:42
Are our dating standards keeping us single? Are we too quick to label people toxic, narcissistic, or full of red flags? Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and author Todd Baratz for a conversation about modern dating, sex, intimacy, relationship anxiety, and why finding a healthy relationship might require us to rethink everything we’ve been taught about love.
Does a healthy relationship mean never having doubts or never going to bed angry? Todd challenges popular relationship advice and explains why real connection requires vulnerability, curiosity, discomfort, and the willingness to do the work.
Topics discussed:
• Modern dating and disconnection: How social media and wider cultural changes influence connection, intimacy, and the way we relate to each other.
• Vulnerability and emotional intimacy: Why opening up feels so difficult, how our defenses protect us from rejection, and why emotional closeness requires ongoing self-work.
• Dating standards and the search for the perfect partner: How unrealistic expectations and the pursuit of an ideal relationship can shrink your dating pool.
• Red flags, dealbreakers, and dating anxiety: Whether political differences, wanting children, lifestyle preferences, and other incompatibilities should determine who gets a chance.
• Entitlement, self-worth, and reciprocity: What we deserve in relationships and why healthy relationships require collaboration rather than one-sided demands.
• Couples therapy and emotional labor: What happens when one partner is ready to work on the relationship and the other resists.
• Relationship doubts and the fear of commitment: Why doubt is a normal part of making choices and why you don't need to feel 100% certain about your partner.
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot.
What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single.
Topic discussed:
Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealing
Cheating and relationship agreements
Whether you should tell someone their partner is cheating
The “what you don't know can't hurt you” debate
The ethics of being the other person in an affair
Married people cheating with single people
Why people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationships
The idea of financial compensation in an affair
Esther Perel and The State of Affairs
Cheating in abusive or neglectful relationships
Cheating when a partner is sick or disabled
Sexual needs within long-term relationships
Sexual incompatibility
Sex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheating
Defining what “cheating” means in a relationship
Porn as a potential form of cheating
Open relationships and the possibility of cheating within them
Public sex/public play
The thrill and risk of getting caught
Sex in semi-public places
Privacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behavior
Being walked in on during sex
Consensual/role-play affairs
The fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayal
Can Pleasure Heal Trauma? Sex, Intimacy & Reclaiming Your Power (ft. Lauren Elise Rogers)
Season 8 · Episode 4
Thursday, September 24, 2026 • Duration 01:11:34
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sexuality educator and embodied intimacy & relationship coach Lauren Elise Rogers for a deeply honest conversation about sexual trauma, healing, pleasure, intimacy, consent, and reclaiming your relationship with your body.
In this episode:
Sexual trauma and sexual assault
Consent and coercion
Why sexual trauma can be underreported
Shame and sex-negative culture
Rape culture and normalizing sexual harm
Victim vs. survivor language
Why healing is not linear
Trauma, fear and helplessness
Processing an experience after it happens
Talking to a safe person after trauma
Trauma and the body
Accountability and taking responsibility
Apologies and relationship repair
Defensiveness and ego after causing harm
Listening to impact instead of defending intent
Asking curious questions
Communication and empathy
Sex educators and trauma therapists working together
Pleasure as part of healing
Reclaiming intimacy after sexual trauma
Sex after sexual assault
Pelvic-floor responses and sexual tension
Triggers and nervous-system responses
Neural pathways and creating new experiences of safety
Somatic healing and body-based responses
Shaking, movement, dancing and laughter
Orgasm and pleasure
Play as a healing modality
Trauma becoming connected to erotic arousal
Forgiveness vs. reconciliation
Boundaries after harm
Self-forgiveness
Healing within healthy relationships
Time, memory and healing
Why healing doesn't necessarily mean never being triggered
Reclaiming pleasure, agency and identity
Building a life beyond simply “surviving”
Follow Lauren:Instagram:
You’re Not as “Freaky” as You Think: Kinks, Fetishes & Fantasies (ft. Niki Davis)
Season 8 · Episode 3
Thursday, September 17, 2026 • Duration 51:19
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, event planner and author Niki Davis for a conversation about sexual shame, uncommon desires, kinks, fetishes, fantasies, self-pleasure, relationships and the psychology of arousal.
Why do so many people feel ashamed of what turns them on? Niki Davis shares what she has learned from working with people with uncommon desires and explains the difference between shame and guilt, how shame can create a spiral of negative thoughts, and why people can feel like they have a “fetish self” and a separate identity.
Topics discussed: • Sexual shame and how to recognize it• Shame vs. guilt• Uncommon sexual desires• Kinks vs. fetishes• Sexual fantasies• How the brain influences arousal• Whether desires can change or evolve• Exposure and developing new desires• Partner acceptance and exploring a partner’s kink• Balloon fetishes (poppers vs non-poppers)• Wet floor sign fetishes• Foot fetish• Carpet fetishism and Giorgio Carpet• Vore and being swallowed fantasies• Fantasy vs. real-life sexual experiences• Threesomes as fantasy vs. reality• Scat play• Disgust and arousal• Finding community around uncommon desires• Shame spirals and negative thought loops• Identifying sexual and emotional triggers• Keeping a thought log• Exploring kinks independently• Using imagination as part of erotic experiences
The Bedroom Gap: Painful Sex, Low Desire & Vaginal Health (ft. Dr. Sophocles)
Season 8 · Episode 2
Thursday, September 10, 2026 • Duration 55:45
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with gynecologist, sexual medicine expert, and author Dr. Maria Sophocles to talk openly about painful sex, vaginal health, sexual pleasure, menopause, low desire, and everything in between.
Topics discussed:
Why does sex hurt? How common is painful sex, and when should you see a doctor? Dr. Maria Sophocles breaks down the most common causes of sexual pain, including vaginal dryness and inadequate lubrication, lack of arousal, vaginismus and a hypertonic pelvic floor, dermatologic conditions such as lichen sclerosus, STIs including herpes, chlamydia and gonorrhea, and internal causes such as endometriosis, ovarian cysts, fibroids and scarring.
Alexa and Dr. Sophocles also get into why lubrication isn't the same thing as arousal, the importance of taking time before penetration, sexual scripting, communication with your partner, the orgasm gap, faking orgasms, low libido and desire differences, and why treating pain can sometimes bring sexual desire back.
They discuss estrogen, genitourinary syndrome of menopause, perimenopause, postpartum and breastfeeding-related changes, surgical menopause, chemotherapy, vaginal estrogen, systemic estrogen, birth control and its potential effects on dryness and libido, as well as pelvic floor physical therapy, Kegels and pelvic floor relaxation.
The conversation also covers PMS and period symptoms, breast tenderness, mood changes, back pain, exercise, sleep, meditation, mindfulness, magnesium, ibuprofen, vitamin E and evening primrose oil.
Pap smears, trauma during gynecological exams, pediatric speculums, lubricant during Pap testing, and the future of at-home HPV/Pap sample collection.
They also play fact vs.fiction on cotton underwear, synthetic underwear, thongs, tight leggings, sweating after workouts, panty liners, vaginal discharge, vulva washing, soap, feminine washes, vaginal pH, normal genital odor, BV, boric acid, antibiotics, the vaginal microbiome, diet, fermented foods, probiotics/microbiome testing, vulvar irritation, pubic hair and friction.
Having Sex or Performing It: Pleasure, Body Image & Sex Trends (ft. Jill Lissner)
Season 8 · Episode 1
Thursday, September 3, 2026 • Duration 01:01:48
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Jill Lissner, aka @sexedprincesss, forconversation about performative sex, pleasure, body image, consent, communication, and the weird sex trends taking over the internet.
Topics covered:
Performative sex and what it means
Pleasure vs. performance
Authentic/non-performative sex
Gendered expectations around appearance
Penis size, erections and stamina
Moaning and performing sounds
Staying quiet because of shame or expectations
Soft penises and body acceptance
Decentering penetration
Mutual masturbation and vulnerability
Porn as a performance
Being perceived and worrying how you look
Likeability, acceptance and social performance
Reducing performance anxiety through exposure
“Spectatoring” during sex
Advocating for your needs during sex
Defaulting to giving as a performance
Preference vs. performance
Orgasm faces
“Cracked” and modern sexual terminology
Active participation in sex
Riding/on-top positions and performing for appearance
Recording sexual experiences
Penetration as a performance expectation
Critical thinking about sexual norms
Internet sex trends
Ball maxing/scrotum maxing
Scrotum size and attraction
How sexual trends spread online
The need for more scientific research on emerging sex trends
Rough Sex, Kink, Fantasies & What Women Really Want (ft. Small Hands)
Season 7 · Episode 17
Thursday, August 27, 2026 • Duration 01:02:09
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Small Hands (Aaron Thompson) to talk about what really creates sexual attraction, the difference between confidence and competence, rough sex, kink, consent, boundaries, and the fantasies people don't always know how to talk about.
In this episode:
Non-sexual turn-ons and how they become sexual turn-ons
Hands, feet, scent and other physical turn-ons
Acts of service, chores, cleaning and thoughtfulness as turn ons
Appreciation, validation and keeping long-term relationships connected
Boundary talks before professional collaborations
Reading someone's comfort level and adjusting in the moment
Sexual toys, magic wands, lube and taking initiative
Confidence vs. competence
Why competence may be more attractive than confidence
Humility, ego and letting actions speak for themselves
Sexual performance anxiety and the pressure to “deliver”
Small Hands' first gangbang and early experiences in porn
CNC (consensual non-consent) fantasies
Dark fantasies and the importance of genuine desire and safety
Kink, trauma and how life experiences can shape sexual interests
Reclaiming autonomy through fantasy
The unexpected origins of a foot fetish
What “rough sex” actually means
Physical, verbal and psychological elements of rough sex
Why rough sex requires context, intent and communication
Rough sex vs. disrespect
Consent, boundaries and negotiating BDSM/kink
Choking and assuming a partner wants it
Hot ways of checking in during sex
Why porn should never be treated as a guide for real-life behavior
Trust and safety as foundations for exploring darker fantasies
Small Hands' private fantasy of slow, romantic, sensual sex
Pt. 2 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Season 7 · Episode 16
Thursday, August 13, 2026 • Duration 45:22
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in back bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They discuss anal health, pleasure, preparation, and all the questions people are often too embarrassed to ask.
Topics discussed in this episode:
Anal pleasure and breaking down taboos and myths
Exploring anal stimulation for the first time
The P-spot/prostate and prostate orgasms
The A-spot and anal pleasure for women
Topping vs. bottoming
Why tops should understand anal anatomy
Anal foreplay and gradual penetration
The three sphincter muscles
Breathing, relaxation and communication
Pain, bleeding and discomfort during anal sex
Lube and why anal sex differs from vaginal sex
Penis size, thickness and anatomy
Mushroom-shaped penises and preparation
Bad first anal experiences
Self-exploration and masturbation
Pressure vs. in-and-out stimulation
Riding and controlling penetration
Dilators and gradual anal training
Anatomy vs. psychological/neurological factors
Bleeding, tightness and when to seek medical care
Poop during anal sex
Shame and anxiety around cleanliness
Douching and over-douching
Gut health, fiber and diet
Prebiotics and probiotics
Food and how diet can affect anal sex
Condoms and anal sex
PrEP and DoxyPEP
The “toy test” after douching
Hemorrhoids and what they actually are
Fissures and skin tags
Pegging and strap-on play
Prostate massage and prostate milking
Edging and gooning
Anal Botox and pelvic floor physical therapy
Butt facials
Butt acne, ingrown hairs and hair removal
Wet wipes and anal irritation
Bidets and portable bidets
Toilet paper vs. water-based cleaning
Pt. 1 - I Asked a Butt Surgeon Every Question You're Too Embarrassed to Ask (ft. Dr. Evan Goldstein)
Season 7 · Episode 15
Thursday, August 6, 2026 • Duration 39:02
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Dr. Evan Goldstein, founder of Bespoke Surgical, creator of Future Method, and author of Butt Seriously. They do a deep dive into anal sex, butt health, and everything you've always wanted to ask about your asshole.
Topics Discussed
Dr. Evan Goldstein's journey from heart surgery to anal surgery
Coming out and discovering anal health as a medical specialty
Cosmetic vs. functional anal procedures
Hemorrhoids, fissures, skin tags, and anal anatomy
Post-pregnancy anal changes
Grooming injuries and anal skin concerns
Confidence and body image around the anus
Anal bleaching and whether it's worth it
Perineum "sunning"
What makes a "healthy" vs. "perfect" asshole
The truth about anal douching
Protecting the anal microbiome
Why over-douching can increase STI and HIV risk
Future Method and isotonic douching
Safe products to use in the anus
Can anal sex make you loose?
Incontinence myths
Male vs. female pelvic anatomy
Anal Botox
When surgery is necessary
Dilators for beginners
Fingering mistakes that cause injuries
Proper lubrication
Relaxation techniques for anal penetration
Understanding the three anal sphincters
The three "types" of assholes
Building up to anal safely
How often bottoms should practice
Fiber, probiotics, hydration, and digestive health
Whether everyone needs to douche
Preparing for occasional anal sex
The prostate (P-spot)
The A-spot
Prostate orgasms
Common myths surrounding anal sex
How to reduce injury while maximizing pleasure
• Closure and heartbreak: Whether closure is necessary to heal, how to process grief without someone else's apology, and why the popular advice “if they wanted to, they would” can create more disconnection.
• Why the right relationship can trigger you: How intimacy brings unresolved childhood wounds to the surface, why the real question is how partners respond to conflict, and how repair and emotional safety distinguish a challenging relationship from a harmful one.
• Therapy speak and performative healing: Why words like “boundaries,” “attachment,” “triggered,” “holding space,” and “narcissist” can lose their meaning when they're used to avoid vulnerability rather than create genuine connection.
• Trauma, anxiety, and self-awareness: Why understanding your history is not the same as feeling and processing it, why we may need to worry less, and how to stop turning every difficult experience into an intellectual exercise.
• Therapy, self-help, and doing the work: Why practical steps such as therapy, books, and relationship resources can help us grow, and why insight alone doesn't automatically change our behavior.
• Authenticity and being yourself: Todd's perspective on showing up as a real person rather than performing a polished therapist persona, the pressure to maintain different identities at work and in relationships, and why humor, honesty, and imperfection matter.
• Todd's personal struggles and growth: His experiences with being single, solitude, relationship challenges, heartbreak, self-care, and decades of therapy and how he handles difficult emotions without beating himself up.
• Discomfort, shame, and curiosity: Why learning to tolerate uncertainty, asking more questions, challenging rigid thinking, and becoming more open to other people can create deeper connections.
Discover shows related to In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex, based on actual content similarities. Explore podcasts with similar topics, themes, and formats, backed by real data.
