Talk Sex with Annette Where desire meets disruption—and pleasure becomes power. Hosted by sex and intimacy coach Annette Benedetti, Talk Sex with Annette is the go-to podcast for bold, unfiltered conversations at the intersection of sexuality, identity, and empowerment. From kink to connection, self-love to sexual healing, Annette dives into the topics most people are too afraid to touch—with expert guests, raw storytelling, and a feminist lens that challenges shame and reclaims pleasure. Think smart, sexy, and radically real: this is the cultural conversation around sex that’s long overdue.
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7 Things You Do on a Date That Tell Her How You’ll Be in Bed
What a man does on a date tells a woman whether he’ll be good or bad in bed, and she decides it long before the bedroom. The head-turn so your kiss lands on her cheek. The “I’ve got an early morning” instead of an invite up. That was her answer. She watched your actions all night and drew a straight line to how you’d be in bed.
In this episode, I break down 7 behaviors that are secretly “intimacy tells,” what each one signals to her, what the research says, and the one thing to practice that actually changes it. And here’s the part that matters: these same skills are the exact ones that make you good in bed. Fix them out there, and you become the guy she can’t stop thinking about once you’re in it.
Most of these will surprise you. At least one is probably the reason your last date didn’t invite you up, and you had no idea you were doing it.
Not one of these tells happens in bed. That’s the whole point, she knows before you ever get there, and every one is a skill you can build.
Ladies, if you’re nodding the whole way through, send this to him or drop it in the group chat. Fellas, watch to the end, then pick the tell that stung the most and do the opposite of your old habit the very next chance you get.
There’s no single type of submissive, and Fifty Shades only ever showed you one narrow version of it. So this week, I brought kink consultant Amanda Dames back to break down every kind of sub there is, and help you figure out which one you are.
There’s the brat who talks back just to get caught. The little who wants to be taken care of. The service sub, the pleasure sub, the rope bunny, the pay pig, and the slave. Some of these will surprise you. At least one will probably make you go, “wait, that’s me.”
By the end, you’ll know what kind of sub you are, how to find the right dom for you, and how to keep yourself safe doing it. (And yes, I finally tell the story about vetting a potential dom that ended with me realizing I could have been on a date with Ted Bundy. It’s a wild one.)
In this episode:
What a submissive actually is, and how it’s different from a bottom
Can anyone be a sub? And what exactly is a switch?
Every type explained: rope bunny, little, caregiver, service, pleasure, financial, brat, and slave
Why you can be more than one type (and why boxing yourself in might be killing your sex life)
How to vet a dom, spot the red flags, and trust your gut
This is the companion to our Types of Doms episode, so if you haven’t heard that one, go grab it too. Together they’re your full map of dominance and submission.
Every woman has one: the lover she still thinks about. The way he kissed her, the way he took his time, the way he looked at her like she was the only thing in the room. She’s probably never going to tell you what he actually did differently, so I will.
I asked women what the best lover they ever had actually did, then I checked their answers against the research, and they lined up almost every time. This is the real list, and not one thing on it is about size, lasting forever, or some move you saw in porn at 2 a.m. Every single one is a skill, which means any man can learn it.
In this episode:
Why the best lovers aren’t in a hurry (and what the research says about how long sex should actually last)
Why she remembers the kiss more than anything else
The “dirty mouth” skill, voice, sound, and words
Why great sex starts at 2 p.m., not 10 p.m.
The difference between a man who performs and a man who can’t get enough of her
How scent, grooming, and yes, your sheets, make or break the night
How to ask about her fantasies without flinching, then lead
Why laughing in bed makes her come easier
The listening skill that turns into desire
And the one thing that makes all of it possible: safety
Ladies, if you’re nodding the whole way through, send this to the special guy in your life so he’s not shooting in the dark. Fellas, pick one thing, learn it, and try it tonight.
Want the full written guide with all the research and every move spelled out? Read it on my website: 🔥 https://talksexwithannette.com/
My YouTube channel is back, and I wanted to take a moment to really talk to you about what this whole experience taught me, and what’s coming next.
In this one I’m getting personal: the gratitude I feel for the way this community showed up for me at a low point, what actually got me in trouble, how things are changing going forward, and all the exciting things I’m building for you.
First things first, the most important thing you can do:
Here’s why it matters more than ever: platforms come and go (we just learned that the hard way together), but my newsletter is how I reach you no matter what. It’s where I send every episode, every new guide, every free tool, and all the how-tos that can’t live on YouTube. If you only do one thing, do this, so we never lose each other again.
In this episode:
The gratitude I needed to say out loud, to you, and to the people who showed up
What actually got me in trouble (real talk about OnlyFans and platform suppression)
How my YouTube content is changing, and why my website is now home to everything
The free tools I’m building so you can explore your desires after every episode
A few teases of what’s coming: travel content, a survivor-centered resource, and more
A huge thank you to the people who showed up for me: My PR team at Little Leaf Agency (Sarah, Michael, Taylor, and Naima), and the sex educators and past guests who went to bat for me, including Susan Bratton (who helped shepherd my channel back, I love you, Susan), the Intimacy Alliance, Caitlin V, Dr. Tara, Heron Bigman, Dr. Deborah Katz, and past guests Luna Matatas, Amanda Dames (The Kink Consultant), Samia Mounts, and Girls Gone Deep.
Where else to find me:
Female-Led Relationships: Why Men Secretly Want This
Say "female-led relationship" and most people picture whips and chastity cages, but it's so much bigger than that, and most of it has nothing to do with kink. This week, licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Kate Balestrieri walks me through what a female-led relationship actually is: the four levels (from barely-there to full-time), the surprising benefits for BOTH partners, and exactly how to start one.
In this episode:
What a female-led relationship really is (and what it isn't)
Why it doesn't require any kink at all
The 4 levels of control, explained
The real benefits for men AND women (some genuinely surprising)
Most men think turning a woman on is all about touch. But here’s the truth: you can make her turned on, wet, and craving you with words alone, before you ever lay a hand on her.
This week I’m breaking down exactly how to talk dirty to a woman the right way. Not the aggressive, porn-style lines that make her shut down, but the kind of words that actually build arousal, spark her imagination, and leave her aching for more. It’s not magic. It’s how women’s arousal really works, and once you get it, you can turn her on anytime, anywhere.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why women’s arousal is wired for words, imagination, and anticipation
The biggest dirty talk mistakes men make (and the simple fixes)
My 5-step framework to make her wet with words
Word-for-word scripts you can steal and use tonight
The “aftershock” trick the best seducers use to keep her craving you long after the moment ends
By the end, you’ll know how to turn her on with your voice alone, and have the exact words to do it.
Content note: this episode discusses sexual violence and assault.
We all absorbed a set of ideas about women and sex so early we never thought to question them: that women want it less, that desire fades with age, that if it hurts, that’s just how it is. Most of it came to us dressed up as fact, and most of it is quietly wrecking our sex lives.
This week I sit down with Natasha Sinjanovic, an award-winning journalist, former NPR producer, and creator of the podcast Women Like Sex, who decided to actually fact-check the myths about female sexuality and hold them up against the evidence. Together we unmask nine of the sex myths women are still taught, where they come from, why they’re false, and what believing them is costing all of us in the bedroom.
In this episode, we debunk:
Whether women really want sex less than men (and where that story actually came from)
The “men can’t control themselves” myth, and the real harm it does
Why sex is not inherently violent, no matter what we’ve been taught
Whether the vagina or the clitoris is actually the sex organ
The damaging myth that sex is supposed to hurt
Whether “internal orgasms aren’t normal” holds up (it doesn’t)
And more, including the truth about virginity
This one went somewhere I didn’t expect, and it may be the most important conversation I’ve had on this show. Because these myths don’t stay in our heads, they walk into the bedroom with us, and you can’t have the sex life you want until you name them.
If your bedroom has gone quiet, settled into the same couple of moves on the same couple of nights, the fastest way back to heat isn’t a new position or a new toy. It’s fantasy. This week I’m giving you real, do-it-tonight tools for exploring fantasy together: how to figure out what your fantasies actually are (even if your honest answer right now is “I don’t know”), how to share them in a way that feels safe instead of scary, and a whole menu of low-pressure ways to start playing together.
CHEEX is a sexual wellness platform where you can explore pleasure, desire, and sexuality in an open, aesthetic, and shame-free space. From beautifully made content to genuine sex education, CHEEX is built to help you discover what turns you on and feel good about it. New customers can try the annual membership free of charge for 7 days using my code. There’s no minimum term, you can cancel anytime, and you can choose the annual membership that fits you. And it’s the perfect companion to this episode, because CHEEX brings together everything you need to explore fantasy together in one place:
Films , ethical, high-quality visual content you can watch side by side to discover what lights you both up.
Audio , erotic audio stories to listen to together when you’d rather let someone else’s voice set the scene.
Pleasure Academy , real sex education and courses to help you learn, grow, and bring new ideas into the bedroom.
So as you work through today’s steps, CHEEX is a genuinely great tool for that “explore it together” part, watching, listening, and learning side by side with zero pressure.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Why fantasy is the fastest way to reignite desire in a long-term relationship
How to find your own fantasies, even if you’ve never been able to name them
How to have the conversation “with your clothes on” so it feels safe, not high-pressure
Think a dom is just leather, whips, and someone kneeling on the floor? You’re missing almost everything.
Dominance isn’t one thing, it’s a whole spectrum, and this week I’m decoding all of it with Amanda Dames, better known as The Kink Consultant: a certified somatic sex and relationship coach, certified sexologist, and former professional dominatrix who’s been featured in Cosmopolitan and Women’s Health. Together we break down every type of dom so you can finally figure out which kind you are, or which kind you’re looking for. (And I’ll be honest, this one got personal, because I’m on my own search for my dom right now.)
In this episode, you’ll learn:
What actually makes someone a dom (hint: it’s not the whip)
The real difference between a dom and a top, and a dom, domme, and dominatrix
Every type explained: caregiver, master/mistress, sadist, primal, soft dom, service dom, disciplinarian, findom, and pleasure dom
Why the “daddy/mommy dom” dynamic is so misunderstood (and usually has nothing to do with age play)
How to figure out which kind of dom is authentic to YOU
Where to actually find a dom, and the green flags and red flags to watch for
Whether you want to be a dom or find one, you’ll walk away knowing exactly what lights you up, and how to go get it.
What gets you off probably isn’t nearly as rare as you think.
We’re halfway through Kinktober, so this week I’m pulling back the curtain on the 10 most common kinks, from the mild to the wild, with real science-backed research along the way. I’m talking BDSM, foot fetishes, cuckolding, exhibitionism, furries, sploshing, sensory deprivation, medical play, age play, and yes, balloon-loving looners. Some of these will surprise you, some will make you laugh, and at least one will probably make you feel a lot more normal than you expected.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
Which kink tops the list (and why it’s not even close)
The surprising research on why foot fetishes are wired into the brain
How some of the most “taboo” kinks actually strengthen relationships
The real numbers behind what people fantasize about, from the largest study of its kind
Why having a kink is normal, and good for you
Whether you’re into bondage or balloons, you are not alone, and there’s probably a study explaining exactly why you’re into what you’re into.
And if you want to explore your own kinks or figure out how to bring them to a partner, my intimacy coaching books are open, learn more at https://talksexwithannette.com.
Send me your ideas, your questions, and the things you wish I’d do differently, I’m heavily influenced by you, and I want to keep building this with you. (Yes, the rimming episode is officially on the calendar, because you asked.)
