Husband Material – Details, episodes & analysis

Why do adult men need sex education? What sexual changes do men's bodies go through as we get older? In this episode, Dr. Doug Carpenter explains what men need to know about low testosterone, urinary flow, sperm production, and more. You'll learn about the importance of prostate exams, the truth about penis size, the difference between sex in porn vs. sex in marriage, and other common misconceptions men have about sex.

Join us for sex education in person at the next Husband Material Retreat! husbandmaterial.com/retreat

Dr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist, author, and founding board member of Husband Material Ministries. Learn more at douglascarpenter.com

Buy Doug's books:

• Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development
• Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male: Gender Role Conflict, Toxic Shame, and Complex Trauma: Finding Hope, Clarity, Healing, and Change

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

When you're triggered or tempted to watch porn, you cannot not regulate. What you can do is choose how you will regulate. In this episode, you'll learn ten powerful grounding techniques to regulate your brain and body without porn:

1. Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic (image)
2. Power Breathing: Wim Hof Method (video)
3. External Observation: 5-4-3-2-1 (image)
4. Internal Observation: How We Feel (app)
5. Ten Befriending Questions (PDF)
6. Imagination: Visualize your inner world
7. Creativity: Be a creator, not a consumer
8. Movement: Be proactive, not passive
9. Identity: Remember who you are (PDF)
10. Co-regulation: Do any of these with a friend!

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

Male sexually betrayed partners are often unseen, overlooked, and underresourced. Hear Ben Wilson's story of being the betrayed and the betrayer in his marriage. 

Ben is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 25+ years of experience. He is trained in EMDR for trauma and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couple’s counseling. Ben co-authored Betrayed and Betrayer: Rescuing Your Marriage After The Affair out of his own broken and restored marriage. Learn more about intensive counseling with Ben at restoringthesoul.com.

Read Ben's free blog with 444 posts on healing infidelity here.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image.

Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling, where he helps people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience helping men recover their hearts.

Chris is also a guest speaker at The Porn Free Man 2024 Online Conference on January 5-6, 2024! Learn more at thepornfreeman.com

Check out Chris' online courses at ReStory Labs

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well.

The best place to start is Husband Material Academy.

Learn more at joinHMA.com

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction!

Related episodes:

• Theology Of The Penis
• Unwanted Sexual Attraction
• Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire
• How To Interpret Sexual Fantasies
• What Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?

Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From?

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame.

Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries. They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and equipping men and women with tools backed by brain science to accelerate personal breakthroughs through connecting with Jesus using the Immanuel Approach.

Check out Cathy and Melinda's podcast here.

Immanuel Sessions are designed to help you connect with Jesus, receive healing from emotional wounds and trauma, and uncover lies that keep you from living out the truth of who you are in Christ. There is no agenda other than to help you connect with Jesus and allow Him to lead you into greater healing, freedom, and wholeness.

Schedule an an Immanuel Session with Face To Face Ministries here.

Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):

• Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement, by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson
• The Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (free draft version)
• The Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (published paperback version)
• Joyful Journey: Listening To Immanuel, by Dr. James Wilder, Anna Kang, John Loppnow, and Sungshim Loppnow
• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective.

Here are the case reports Adam mentioned about naltrexone:

• Internet sex addiction treated with naltrexone - Mayo Clinic
• Naltrexone in cases of compulsive sexual behaviors - Psychiatrist.com
• Naltrexone in the treatment of adolescent sexual offenders - National Library of Medicine
• Treatment Of Compulsive Pornography Use With Naltrexone: A Case Report - American Journal Of Psychiatry
• Compulsive Sexual Behavior and Alcohol Use Disorder Treated With Naltrexone: A Case Report and Literature Review

Interested in learning more? Bring your questions to our Live Q&A with Adam O'Neill on Tuesday, November 28th @ 7 PM Eastern Time inside the Husband Material Community.

Adam O'Neill is a Certified Physician Assistant who practices Christian Psychiatry in Virginia, where he is licensed to prescribe medications. Adam graduated from Thomas Jefferson University with a Masters of Physician Assistant Studies in 2019. Prior to that, he attended Wheaton College in Illinois, where he earned his Bachelors in Psychology. Learn more about Adam O'Neill & Associates at aoavirginia.com

Buy Adam's book (this is a paid link):
The Mind After Eden: Psychiatry in a Post-Fall World

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead.

Pornographic recovery is:

• isolated
• escapist
• avoiding pain
• impatient
• passive/consuming
• cold and harsh.

Healthy recovery is:

• relational
• embodied
• embracing pain
• resilient
• proactive/creative
• warm and kind

The idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here:

• A Pornographic Style Of Relating (article)
• The Psychology of Porn (book & paid link)

Other Husband Material episodes mentioned:

• Long Distance Friendship
• How To Heal Your Inner Child
• How To Measure Freedom From Porn
• How To Outgrow Porn

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!

What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series—which is fantastic!

The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives.

Check it out:

• The Fearless Series For Men: fs4men.com
• The Fearless Series For Women: fs4women.com

Dr. James Reeves has been a pastor for more than 40 years. He nearly resigned, but chose to confront his past, and then used his newfound freedom in Christ to build a "hospital church" based on addressing emotional wounds. James is a regular speaker at conferences across America about how the local church can minister effectively to survivors of sexual trauma.

Interested? Email James at Jamesreeves68@gmail.com.

Support the show

Take the Husband Material Journey...

• Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube
• Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community
• Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn
• Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy

Thanks for listening!