Happy Slut is your permission slip to want what you want, you cute little slut. Host Samia Mounts celebrates people who take joy in their sexuality in spite of all the ways the system of patriarchy makes that hard for everyone. From navigating nontraditional relationships to unpacking shame and reclaiming joy, Happy Slut is about getting curious, taking ownership of your desires, and learning how to trust what feels delicious to YOU.
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Getting tested for STIs is responsible. But what if your “comprehensive” STI test…isn’t actually comprehensive?
Shameless Care founder Robert Johnson found that out the hard way when he tested negative for gonorrhea while unknowingly carrying it in his throat and passing it to a partner. That experience eventually led him to build Shameless Care, a sex-positive telehealth company designed to fill some pretty massive gaps in sexual healthcare.
Robert and his Sex Is Good podcast co-host Anna join me to talk about what we actually need to know to take the fear out of sex - so it can be ALL FUN, BABY!
In this episode:
How Robert tested negative for gonorrhea while unknowingly spreading it
Why your STI panel may be missing infections
Why HPV is the glitter of the sexual world
The HPV vaccine—and why adults over 45 may still want it
PrEP, DoxyPEP, and the golden age of sexual health
Why gay orgies are safer now than they were in the ’80s and ’90s
Why STI prevention can actually give us more sexual freedom
The ridiculous stigma around herpes
HSV-1 vs. HSV-2 and how either can show up orally or genitally
My own experience living—and having lots of sex—with herpes
How herpes has mostly functioned as an douchebag screener for me
Viagra and Cialis…for women?!
An oxytocin nasal spray that I immediately decided I need
Why sex-positive doctors matter
And why knowing more about sexual health can make sex a whole lot more fun
CHECK OUT SHAMELESS CARE:
Get private, nonjudgmental sexual healthcare from sex-positive doctors, including comprehensive STI testing, DoxyPEP, PrEP, valacyclovir, sexual wellness medications, oxytocin, and more.
If this episode taught you something you didn’t know about your own sexual health, send it to somebody else who deserves to have more fun and less fear around sex.
xoxo,
Samia
Hot Slut on a Train with Natalie Davis
Season 1 · Episode 22
Wednesday, September 2, 2026 • Duration 01:12:14
Natalie Davis was a straight-and-narrow, rule-following lawyer mom who married her college boyfriend and fully expected to live happily ever after inside the white-picket-fence monogamy model.
Then her husband cheated—and eventually asked whether they could start having sex with other people.
What followed was messy, painful, liberating, awkward, sexy, and completely life-altering. Natalie is now the author of Saying Yes: My Adventures in Polyamory, a radically candid memoir about surviving infidelity, dismantling everything she thought she knew about marriage, and discovering a version of herself she never knew existed.
You know...like being a hot slut on a train.
In this episode:
Why Natalie never questioned monogamy before her husband’s affair
The humiliation of being cheated on—and why she couldn’t bring herself to tell her friends
How infidelity became an unexpected doorway into consensual non-monogamy
The difference between choosing polyamory and being polyamorous under duress
Why staying after betrayal doesn’t make someone a coward or a doormat
Watching your partner put effort into dates with someone else and realizing he never dated you that way
Why people are sometimes more comfortable with secret cheating than consensual non-monogamy
Natalie’s first swinger party
What swinging taught her about boundaries, desire, and speaking up
Falling in love with another partner for the first time
Coming out as polyamorous to family, coworkers, and her child
Why non-monogamous people still need legal protection from discrimination
The public-sex adventures that transformed a responsible lawyer mom into a hot slut on a train
Roadhead, parking-garage blowjobs, sexting, roleplay, and discovering what turns you on in your forties
Why consensual secrecy can deliver the thrill of cheating without the betrayal
Natalie’s current liminal dating era
What it’s really like living in a resident V with her husband and metamour
The difference between a V and a throuple
You Are Somebody's Cup of Tea with JessJess
Season 1 · Episode 21
Wednesday, August 26, 2026 • Duration 54:12
Pinecones, this week I'm talking to JessJess — party producer, president of Mission Control, organizer with the Bonobo Network, and the woman behind Beyond the Rainbow Events, which throws some of the most thoughtfully inclusive parties in the Bay Area. She's also been non-monogamous since high school, survived a marriage that ended in a way I wouldn't wish on anybody, and rebuilt her whole life inside a community that actually showed up for her. This conversation is about kink and parties and rope suspension, but what it's really about is what it takes to believe you're wanted exactly as you are. You don't have to be kinky, poly, or anywhere near a play party for that one to hit.
In this episode:
How JessJess ended up with three boyfriends and a girlfriend in high school, plus a full safer-sex negotiation at seventeen
Why she and her husband said "open relationship" for years, because nobody had handed them a better word
What happens when the person you've loved for twenty years becomes someone you don't recognize
Her first kink party: unicorn hair and a pink strappy outfit in a room full of black and red
Thuddy vs. sting-y impact play, and the scene where she discovered that her body talks
The femdom party where a man volunteered to be her footstool
What emotional play actually is, and how going into an insecurity on purpose taught her to feel jealousy in her body before reacting to it
Why tops sometimes need aftercare too
The sexy dinner party where she was the biggest person in the room and got more attention than anyone else
And how patriarchy sold all of us the lie that only one kind of body gets to be wanted — a lie that has cost every single one of us something
PINECONES I'M OVER THE MOON! Mina was my anonymous guest in episode 10 of Closeted, "My First Boyfriend Suffered a Lot Because My Sex Drive Was Too High." (Listen here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/10-my-first-boyfriend-suffered-a-lot-because-my-sex/id1832942242?i=1000734016272) Back then, she was closeted, living with her parents, and maintaining a secret menagerie of lovers. Now, she's out of the closet and full of fresh, candid, tender, sexy updates - and holy hell, has she ever made CHANGES in the last two years.
In this episode:
The major family breakthrough that changed everything for Mina
When sex becomes an escape instead of a source of joy
Getting cut off by the friends she loves most - and how that led to her healing
Grief, loneliness, and hitting rock bottom
Graduating from her sexual mentor
The pressure to be the "perfect daughter"
Junk food men, emotional support trout, and slutty salmon
Getting rejected after perfectly fine sex—and being totally okay with it
Reopening her sexual HR recruiting department
Why starting a stand-up comedy career is a great way to get laid
Mina's very shy domestic slave/puppy
Bisexuality, kissing women, and spreading her bi wings
Finding her voice through stand-up comedy in South Korea
LISTEN TO MINA'S ORIGINAL CLOSETED EPISODE:
Episode 10: My First Boyfriend Suffered a Lot Because My Sex Drive Was Too High
One of the biggest things making a joyful sex life hard to cultivate in patriarchy is our collective acceptance of patriarchal beauty standards. These bullshit standards have convinced almost everyone that they're not sexy. IT'S A LIE, PINECONES, IT'S A DIRTY LIIIIIIIE. All sorts of bodies are sexy, all sorts of people are sexy, and there really is someone for everyone - but only if we are able to deprogram patriarchy's fuckery from our minds and see ourselves for who and what we really are. Fat rolls aren't gross and cellulite isn't disgusting. Wrinkles are not something you have to hide to be beautiful. These ideas are just the lies of patriarchal capitalism trying to make you think you need to spend money and starve yourself to be lovable.
Reality check: You are lovable RIGHT EFFING NOW. Listen to me read my Substack essay, You Can't Hate Yourself Thin, in this week's audio-only solo episode.
In this episode:
Why I went audio-only this week - I'm on a semi-real vacation visiting my mom for her 79th birthday!
The lie patriarchy teaches about which bodies are allowed to be sexy
Hitting my lifelong goal weight in 2019, and the fucked-up sense of "benevolent superiority" that came with it
The self-love weight-loss advice I used to smugly hand out like gospel *cringe*
How gaining the weight back spiraled into daily compulsive eating and shame
My New York trip, the naked mirror incident, and the moment my internal sex machine screeched to a halt
Growing up in a family that taught me to fear food and fat
The baloney incident — my earliest memory of learning fat was bad
The Atkins diet, the watermelon breakdown, and finally learning what hunger actually feels like
The relationship epiphany in my mid-twenties that unlocked real, fast, joyful weight loss
Crying into my ex's chest and realizing my "self-love" had a body-shaped asterisk on it
What I'm doing now to reprogram myself
Why the obsession with one "correct" body is patriarchy's rulebook, not the truth — and how we get free of it
SUPPORT THE SHOW!
Subscribe to my Substack:
When One Partner's Kinky & the Other Isn't with Amanda Dames
Season 1 · Episode 18
Wednesday, August 5, 2026 • Duration 01:10:47
Amanda Dames, The Kink Consultant, loves helping couples struggling to reconcile a mismatch in their desires, specifically surrounding kink. She's a certified Somatica sex and relationship coach and certified sexologist who specializes in couples where one partner is kinky and the other one isn't, and the way she works with them will change how you think about asking for what you want, whether your fantasy involves rope or just finally being taken to a dinner you didn't have to plan.
In this episode:
- Why both monogamy and polyamory require partners to make sacrifices, and no one wants to talk about it
- Amanda's first coaching move isn't catering to the kinky partner, it's finding out what the vanilla partner actually wants
- Why "I don't have any fantasies" is almost never true
- The massage problem: why her ask and his ask are way closer than either of them thinks
- Porn vs. romance novels — both are erotic material, but only one gets made fun of by men
- Nine out of ten of Amanda's clients are husbands who want to submit (and her theory on why the dominant ones are all from New Jersey)
- Amanda's ten-session process with couples, laid out start to finish
- Why she thinks communication is NOT the most important thing in relationships
- The most freeing thing you'll hear if you're scared to top someone — they're already doing 90% of the work
- Subspace, dom flow, and finding your authentic dominant instead of playing a role
- Amanda gets real about her own jealousy, and says something out loud she never has before
- How patriarchy cuts men off from their vulnerability and women off from their power
FOLLOW AMANDA:
Join her free monthly group for women exploring their dominant side — email info@thekinkconsultant.com with a photo or social handle
Teaching Men to Flirt with Marni Kinrys of the Wing Girl Method
Season 1 · Episode 17
Wednesday, July 29, 2026 • Duration 01:03:38
Marni Kinrys is the dating coach of every nervous, awkward man's dreams, pinecones. She developed her Wing Girl Method over years of watching good men fumble every time they try to connect with women - and her practical techniques for sparking attraction will make you more confident connecting with others, no matter who you are.
In this episode:
Why the "nice guy" is just the other side of the asshole coin
The tiny reframe that changes everything: from "what can I get from her?" to "what do I actually want to know about her?"
Why so many men literally can't flirt—and why it's a mindset before it's a skill
Marni's wildest exercise: sending guys to ask 10 women if they think he's sexy (and what the women actually say)
Her flirting frameworks, decoded: OSA (Observe, Share, Ask) and LCA (Learn, Confirm, Affirm)
The truth about the Manosphere: the real nuggets buried in all the poison
Why you don't need six-pack abs or six figures—and what actually makes a face "morph" into hot
Giving good men permission to go after what they actually want
My new crush Annette Benedetti — intimacy coach and host of Talk Sex with Annette — is one of the most joyful, flirty humans I've ever talked sex with. And she got here the hard way: surviving assault at 13, a town that acted like it was her fault, and decades of healing before finding her voice again. This is the story movies never tell — the part after, where you survive, you still want sex, and you go on to build the wildly happy erotic life the world tried to take away from you. This is the story I want for all survivors.
In this one we get into:
The misogynistic atmosphere that groomed Annette as a young girl, and the story her town told instead of the truth
What patriarchy does to survivors (and why the conventional-wife "happy ending" is a myth)
Reclaiming her voice and how President Trump unwittingly inspired her podcast
Socially Monogamous, Sexually Free with John & Jackie Melfi of OpenLove101
Season 1 · Episode 15
Wednesday, July 15, 2026 • Duration 01:03:11
Pinecones, this week is a little different: a joint episode! I traveled to Houston to sit down with John and Jackie Melfi—leaders in the American swinger community, owners of the legendary Colette lifestyle clubs (Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and New Orleans), and the couple behind OpenLove101.com, where I used to blog back in the day. Between them they've got three-plus decades of experience with non-monogamous marriage, swinging, and sexual freedom, and their studio team handled the filming, so you KNOW it looks good.
Full disclosure: John and Jackie and I don't agree on everything—the swinger world is a lot more politically diverse than the poly/ENM crowd—and that's kind of the point. This is what it looks like to connect across differences on the things that matter: autonomy, freedom, pleasure, joy, and integrity while pursuing all of the above.
In this episode:
Social monogamy vs. sexual monogamy—and why those "monogamous" birds are hiding a scandal in the nest
If we were naturally monogamous, we wouldn't need so many rules
How John went from Star Trek nerd to lifestyle club owner (via one very inspiring night in Amsterdam)
The high school double-date that turned into a marriage… three decades later
Jackie's journey from strict monogamy to sexual empowerment—and the daily journaling that became OpenLove101
Comets: the long-distance lovers (and friends!) you keep for years—and John's realization that he's been collecting them all along
Why we need to stop fetishizing romantic relationships and start honoring romantic friendships
My marriage, my divorce-in-progress, and what happens when someone loves the idea of you more than the actual you
The childhood shame stories John and I both carry from first grade—and how shame rewrites our memories
The myth that you can't be sexually prolific AND wholesome
How men can become givers in bed (step one: actually see women as people)
The bartender who taught teenage John everything, bless her
Why "be a safe man" is the best sex advice there is
The Introvert Who Threw the World's Wildest Sex Parties with Polly Superstar
Season 1 · Episode 14
Wednesday, July 8, 2026 • Duration 01:13:57
Pinecones, I am GLOWING. This week I sat down with a legend: Polly Superstar—founder of San Francisco's iconic Mission Control and the global Kinky Salon movement, latex fashion designer, author of the memoir Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary, and now the magical mermaid behind the Writing with Mermaids somatic writing retreats. For 25 years, Polly threw the most whimsical, artistic, immersive sex parties on the planet... while secretly being a sensitive introvert whose bed was literally in the coat check. We talk about what it costs to build everybody else's liberation, why letting go of Kinky Salon was their real life's work, and how the story you're dying to write is hiding in your body.
In this episode:
How a latex fashion designer from London became the godmother of San Francisco sex party culture
What actually happens at a Kinky Salon (lovingly known as "the sex party you go to and don't get laid")
The haunted-house Zoom kink parties that kept everyone sane during the pandemic—featuring a demon topping you from Hell
Why Polly says "everybody else's liberation was my prison"
Living at Mission Control for nine years with a bed in the coat check
Burnout, boners, and being SO over both
What it's like to be raised with ZERO sexual shame—and then discovering patriarchy is alive and well
Why Polly explored celibacy after decades of sluttiness (and why their community got weird about it)
Setting out to find a lover in every port... and the same man showing up in every single one (reader, they married him)
Being a California love bomber in Copenhagen
Gender, labels, and why Annie Sprinkle's "metamorphosexual" might be the best one ever coined
Whimsymaxxing as a 25-year legacy (thank you for the word, Liz Plank!)
Why the story resides in the body, not the mind—and how water unlocks it
Hot springs, silence, and word flow at the Writing with Mermaids retreats
If this episode made you wonder what other versions of yourself might be waiting to emerge, send it to the responsible, rule-following hot slut in your life.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
Send this one to the friend who's been quietly wondering whether she's allowed to want more than one person. And send it to the friend who's decided nobody could want her at the size she is right now. JessJess has receipts for both of them.
Stand-Up Comedy Show for Freedom Speakers International (FSI)
Saturday, August 22 | 8:00 PM
Taco Amigo, Itaewon
All proceeds benefit Freedom Speakers International, a Seoul-based nonprofit that provides English public speaking, mentorship, and career development to North Korean refugees.
Send this one to the friend who's white-knuckling a diet right now, convinced that this time it'll finally fix how she feels about herself...and to the friend who compliments everyone else's body but never her own.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
Share this episode with anyone who's been sitting on the same fantasy for fifteen years, or with the partner who'd actually want to hear it if it came at them a little slower.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!
Use code CLOSETED at check-out.
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
Share this episode with a good man who can't figure out why he's still single, or with any woman who's exhausted from trying to explain men to themselves.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
Support Happy Slut 💕 Become a paying subscriber at samiamounts.substack.com — my latest essay is all about why I love sharing my lovers with my friends (half's behind the paywall 😏). Prefer to tip? Venmo @Samia-Mounts or CashApp $SamiaMounts. Can't pay? Sharing this episode with a friend who needs it is even better.
Take one sec to leave a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ review — it's how new happy sluts find us.
Next week:Marni Kinrys, your personal Wing Girl, on why men can't flirt — and why fixing it is basically a mental-health intervention.
Do something pleasurable this weekend, sweethearts.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!
Use code CLOSETED at check-out.
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
The spit-in-the-mouth trend, litigated at last
The micro-flinch story: what real attunement looks like in bed
At the end of the episode, I share something personal: I lost a good friend to suicide this week. If you've been putting off a catch-up call with someone you love, make the call. And if you or someone you know is struggling, call or text 988—or email me. We take care of each other around here.
Buy Polly's memoir, Polly: Sex Culture Revolutionary, directly from Polly—they'll sign it and ship it to you themself (do NOT buy it from Amazon): https://www.pollysuperstar.com
Share this episode with the introvert in your life who's so busy building everyone else's freedom that they forgot their own.
xoxo,
Samia
Mentioned in this episode:
Get a 15% discount on all FirmTech products!
Use code CLOSETED at check-out.
Get 15% off Kenneth Play's Beyond Satisfied Pro course at www.kennethplay.com/closeted
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