Grow Yourself Up – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode Cath speaks to self abandonment and how for many of us this feels absolutely necessary. She links it to childhood patterns and speaks to how unfamiliar it can be to start tending to needs, making some suggestions around prioritising your needs.

Please also find details about my forthcoming workshop I mention listed here here.

You can also read more on abandonment on substack (link to Nurture.Heal.Grow below).

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode Cath speaks to the desperation that can arise when we are cycle breaker and are working really hard to give our kids a different experience to the experience we had in childhood. It can feel like we have to get everything RIGHT (whatever that means) and when we overgive and abandon ourselves it is unhelpful (and damaging) for both us and our kids.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is a continuation of some of the themes from episode 94 (and can also be listened to alone).

Cath speaks about the core of people pleasing and how carrying this into parenting sets us up to feel bad, she touches on ‘metrics’, getting to know ourselves and having an embodied sense of our enough-ness. There is also discussion around values.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we discuss hard days in parenting and how often our coping mechanisms from childhood can make these days harder.

We discuss the development of perfectionism and some pointers about why this is decimating in motherhood. Cath also talks about our inner critics. Including some suggestions on what else we could focus on and words of encouragement to support you on the inevitable hard days.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In episode 4 we continue with the theme of needs and this episode is packed with suggestions, tips and ways to support yourself around boundaries and needs.

In this episode we look at:

The consequences of not meeting needs and why it is therefore so important to tend to ourselves.

How tending to our needs is inextricably linked with boundaries.

The challenges of boundaries and what this has to do with our own nervous system.

Practical suggestions and guidelines to assist in putting down boundaries.

New parents and boundaries and needs and the complexities of this.

Book Cath mentioned by Gabor Mate is called 'When the Body Says No'.

Stackable habits is an idea from Atomic Habits by James Clear, this is a useful concept when we are time and energy poor.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Cultivating joy is a really important aspect of healing and recovery. As well as working to change dysfunctional patterns in our lives it is also important to bring in that which nourishes us, sustains us, and brings in love and beauty. In this episode we look at:

Do you have an idea of what those joyful things might be? For your? For your family? What do you want your family culture to look like?

Here also we need to consider how we can work with (as opposed to against) our nervous system so that we don't traumatise/re-traumatise ourselves in the pursuit of this joy.

Examples and anecdotes to demonstrate these points.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Coming into relationship with our needs is a process, an ongoing investigative journey. In this episode we look at:

1.Some of the blockers to this.

2.How being in a dysfunctional family is like all being stuck in the same jam and what we would like to create instead.

3.We do a dive into some nervous system science (based on the work of Stephen Porges and Deb Dana) to explain how your own body may hamper your ability to meet your needs.

4.Explanation of how meeting your needs may threaten your sense of self depending on how love was considered to operate in your family.

5.Discussion of how meeting your needs is necessary as opposed to selfish.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode we cover:

Why meeting our needs is the gateway to personal agency and being in our own power in our lives.

A discussion of how we first come into contact with our needs.

Explanations of why what happened in our childhood is so important and how this relates to how we tend to ourselves now.

Some suggestions and tips about what to start focusing on if you have no idea about how to tend to your needs.

An anecdote from Cath's life.

There is no need to have shame if you don't know how to meet your needs. Many of us grew up tending to the needs of our parents and as a result are disconnected from what we may need. This can be changed in adult life. There is SO much hope. Referenced the work of Allan Schore and Dan Siegel.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grow Yourself Up is a podcast to support all of us in our adult lives. Many of us did not get our needs adequately met in childhood. The devastating legacy of childhood trauma, wounding and traumatic stress lives on in our brains, our bodies, our nervous systems and our behaviour/reactions impacting the way we turn up to our lives in many ways.

We are going to unpack all of this on Grow Yourself Up. This podcast will be a companion as you journey on your own road of healing and recovery. You will learn you are not alone. Someone has been where you are. There is hope. We will break down shame together and learn to cultivate self compassion. There is always the possibility for change. And regardless of what has happened in our past, as adults we have to take responsibility for our own lives. We have to tend to our pain, our sadness and our dysfunction so that we can live a life we love and shift toxic patterns for our children. 

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In today's episode Cath focuses on people pleasing. She looks at how and why it arises in our family of origin, how it manifests in the way we are in relationships and how it can turn up in parenting. She suggests ways in which to counteract this urge. And next week there will be more on this subject.

If you're enjoying this podcast. Please leave a review and rate the podcast, this really helps others to find it.

To sign up for the journal prompts and Nurture.Heal.Grow (on Substack) please head to www.cathcounihan.com or @cathcounihan on Instagram. 

Follow Cath on social media here:

Instagram: @cathcounihan

Substack: Nurture.Heal.Grow

Facebook: Cath Counihan

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.