GETSOME is a podcast about the sexual stories we carry, hosted by sex therapist Michelle Fischler.
Sex can bring up a lot. Desire. Pressure. Pleasure. Shame. And questions you're not sure you can ask out loud.
Each episode is an honest conversation about what we want, what we’ve been taught, and what happens when our bodies don’t follow the script. There’s room for humour, discomfort, and things that don’t have a tidy answer.
Underneath it all is an unshaming approach: less judgement, more curiosity. Before reaching for another technique or trying to fix yourself, what is there to understand?
Michelle Fischler is a Registered Social Worker, Registered Psychotherapist and ASTO-certified sex therapist, and author of Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer.
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You went to the doctor. The bloodwork was fine, the scans were fine, and you were told to live with it. So you assumed the problem must be you. But what if the pain, the softer erections, the coming sooner than you want were never in your head? What if the part of your body nobody named has muscles, nerves, and actual treatment options?
Dr. Susie Gronski is a pelvic health physical therapist and AASECT-certified sexuality counsellor and educator who built her practice around the gap nobody else was filling. Men have pelvic floors. Those muscles get tight, tense, and crabby, and they can be rehabbed. She also has a phrase she gives every client before they get on the table: bodies do body things.
About Dr. Susie Gronski
With over a decade of expertise in men's pelvic and sexual health, Dr. Susie Gronski is a Licensed Doctor of Physical Therapy, Pelvic Health Therapist, AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor and Educator, and founder of a multidisciplinary pelvic health clinic in Asheville, North Carolina. Through her clinic and Patreon, she helps men navigate taboo pelvic and sexual health concerns and works to make pelvic therapy more accessible.
Why Men Choose Porn Over Partnered Sex with Lisa Etherson
Season 4 · Episode 2
Friday, September 11, 2026 • Duration 32:34
You promised yourself you'd stop. You didn't. And then you took that as proof of something about you. But what if the porn and masturbation weren’t the whole story? What if they were the strategy quietly keeping something much scarier in place?
A man reaching for porn instead of his partner may have found a version of sex that feels safer from shame.
Lisa Etherson, UK-based psychosexual therapist and the originator of Shame Containment Theory, offers another lens: performance anxiety can involve fear of shame, and the behaviour we call “compulsive” or “addictive” can serve as a shame containment strategy.
About Lisa
Lisa Etherson is a psychosexual therapist, researcher, trainer and co-founder of The Shame Training Company.
Why Sexual Shame Needs a Witness with David Bedrick
Season 4 · Episode 1
Friday, September 4, 2026 • Duration 29:44
Shame doesn’t care how much it’s ruining your sex life. It just wants an audience. But instead of hitting up the concession stand, what if you sat in the front row and got curious? You might be surprised at what you learn (and how your body responds afterwards).
David Bedrick is the founder of The Unshaming Way and the author of five books. Instead of asking how to move past the shame, he asks what the shame is trying to say. Because you’re not a problem: you’re a person with a story whose symptoms carry lots of intelligence.
Content note: this episode briefly mentions childhood harm and sexual trauma.
Topics covered
00:00 Masculinity, erections, and cultural pressure
02:30 What shame is and why symptoms carry intelligence
04:28 How survival and cultural messages shape identity
07:58 Why fixing and technique can deepen shame
10:23 Listening to what erection difficulty and softness are saying
12:30 What an unshaming witness does differently
16:00 Gender, sexuality, and shame carried through silence
20:54 What to notice when shame appears during sex
21:50 Consent, “not yet,” and believing your body
23:24 Why you cannot technique your way out of shame
25:01 Healing as believing your own experience
26:36 David’s current trauma work, courses, and Substack
Produced by Katie Jensen of Vocal Fry Studios, now in her third season with GETSOME.
Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: .
The Professional With a Kinky Side
Season 3 · Episode 8
Wednesday, May 22, 2024 • Duration 34:36
LITTLE MISS BEE IS LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE.
By day, she’s a high-powered working professional proudly shattering glass ceilings and climbing the corporate ladder. But off the clock, she’s a kink-positive, active member of the rope bondage community.
In the final episode of the 3rd season of the GETSOME Podcast, we discuss personal authority, self-acceptance, and keeping it kinky. Our guest, Little Miss Bee, manages to keep her professional and personal worlds completely separate without losing touch with either side of herself. Ultimately, her openness and experiences give us the space to reflect on our own desires and boundaries, helping us find a path towards our own sexual, personal, and professional empowerment.
Show Notes:
[00:00:30] Little Miss Bee describes her very clear sense of direction and openness to various sexual and non-sexual experiences.
[00:01:00] The dichotomy of Little Miss Bee's life: a professional by day, exploring her deepest desires by night.
[00:03:00] Discusses the importance of consent and boundaries within the kink community, emphasizing her role as both a top and a bottom.
[00:05:00] Little Miss Bee's passion for rope bondage, known as Shibari, and her journey from being tied to becoming a rigger.
[00:10:00] Talks about seeking connections that go beyond physical interactions, aiming for a deeper, more meaningful connections.
[00:15:00] Little Miss Bee reflects on her sexual evolution from a "desirous, sex-positive teenager" to moving slower, taking in the sensuality of it all.
[00:20:00] The challenges of maintaining non-monogamy, dealing with societal expectations, and the joys of living authentically.
[00:25:00] The allure and etiquette of sex parties, describing them as spaces where consent and hedonistic desires meet.
[00:30:00] A perplexing moment when Little Miss Bee confronted prejudice while revealing her open relationship status.
Explore Michelle’s book, Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer: .
The Perks of Being a Bi Guy
Season 3 · Episode 7
Wednesday, May 8, 2024 • Duration 22:35
Imagine being stuck in the “in betweens” of your sexuality.
You’re not “gay enough,” but you’re not “straight enough.” Your sexuality is constantly oversimplified, or oversexualized. You’re stuck wondering… “Am I bisexual enough???”
Though that may not be the reality for all bisexual men, it certainly is a struggle that a lot of people face. Our guest on today’s episode, West, is a bisexual man who learned to embrace his sexuality and accept that he is “enough” exactly as he is.
In his young adulthood, West thought his bisexuality might just be youthful curiosity. But, as his life continued to progress and West continued to mature, he came to realize that his sexuality wasn’t a “phase” or “curiosity.” It was who he was. His journey to this discovery was filled with societal pressures, self-doubt, and uncertainty. But ultimately, West found acceptance, pleasure, and confidence in his sexual identity.
If you have any questions, thoughts, or stories to share after listening to this episode, I’d love to hear from you. Michelle@GETSOME.ca
Show Notes
[00:00:00] West recounts a story of a dating app match that missed reading his bisexual identity listed on the profile and her reaction once finding out.
[00:00:32] Discussion about the common challenges faced by bisexual individuals.
[00:01:05] West reflects on his journey of self-discovery and the stigma associated with his sexuality.
[00:02:03] Content Warning - Trigger warning for a discussion about sexual abuse.
[00:03:14]West shares insights into how he recognized his attraction to both sexes early in his life.
[00:06:08] Impact of Abuse - A candid discussion about how the impact of sexual abuse complicated his bisexual journey.
[00:08:00] West discussed societal expectations and how they impacted his bisexuality.
[00:8:04] Unlearning Sexual Shame Module awareness segment.
[00:09:25] West discusses how his past experiences influenced his views on consensual sexual relationships.
Sex After Having Kids
Season 3 · Episode 6
Wednesday, April 24, 2024 • Duration 29:50
As a sex worker, Shannon Ariel, founder of Pink Banana Sparkles, always had a strong relationship with sex & her body.
…but after her first child, she felt something shift. With a changing body and changing needs, Shannon had to rebuild her relationship with herself, her sex life, and her career.
For many, motherhood takes a toll on their sex lives. Their priorities, bodies, and relationships are drastically different than they were before they had their kids, and getting back to a place of confidence, pleasure, and fulfillment can often be an uphill battle. For Shannon, a retired sex worker turned fashion designer, and mom whose identity is linked to her sexuality, this shift was a jarring one that required her to look at her life from a wider lens. What started as a journey to rediscover her sexuality postpartum turned into Shannon learning to put herself first, having the best sex of her life, and bravely sharing her story so that other women know they’re not alone.
At a young age, Chris was diagnosed with a medical micropenis. For years, he struggled with sex and dating until he discovered two kinks that fueled a macro sex drive – Small Penis Humiliation and Cuckolding. Talking about shame, sexuality, and penis size is particularly challenging for cis men due to toxic masculinity. But Chris’ story isn’t exclusively for people with penises (or people with micropenises, for that matter). Chris’ journey to self-acceptance and sexual pleasure is an incredible lesson in making the most with what you’re given, and learning to love yourself exactly as you are.
Show Notes
Introduction: [00:00:00]
Chris shares his struggle with feeling inadequate due to his micropenis diagnosis.
Early Diagnosis: [00:00:43]
Chris was diagnosed with a micropenis at a young age, which led to feelings of shame and inadequacy.
He recalls being informed about his condition by a doctor at the age of five, with his parents' reaction being discomfort and avoidance.
Emotional Impact: [00:08:30]
Chris expresses feeling pathetic and inferior due to societal expectations and experiences in high school.
Coping Mechanisms: [00:10:24]
Despite initial struggles, Chris found solace in embracing his kinks, particularly small penis humiliation and cuckolding.
He discusses the arousal derived from these fantasies and his approach to exploring them safely.
Dating and Relationships: [00:17:54]
Chris opens up about his challenges with dating and rejection due to his condition.
He shares his experiences with being honest about his condition and the responses he has received from potential partners.
Seniors Seeking Friends With Benefits
Season 3 · Episode 4
Wednesday, March 27, 2024 • Duration 29:11
Finding a friend with benefits can be hard at any age. But today’s guest, Cynthia, faced the daunting task of finding a sexual partner at the age of 78 and following the loss of her husband. She knew that she wanted a friend with benefits, and she even had her eye on someone specific. But the ultimate hurdle? Asking him.
In this fascinating and refreshingly open conversation we discuss:
1. What it looks like to be sexually active in your later years of life
2. The stigma of being a senior citizen who craves casual sex.
3. The nuances of sex with aging bodies
4. Maintaining relationships with your “couple friends” after the loss of your long-term partner
5. How to continue experiencing sexual satisfaction in your 70’s and beyond. Show Notes:
Show notes:
Guest Introduction:
[00:01:28] Michelle introduces Cynthia, a 78-year-old widow, as the guest for this episode.
Cynthia shares her journey of grieving the loss of her husband and the subsequent feelings of loneliness and desire for companionship.
Exploring Desire and Loneliness:
[00:02:26] Cynthia discusses her newfound desires for companionship and sexual connection after her husband's passing.
She reflects on the emotional and physical changes she experienced and how they led her to consider exploring a friends with benefits relationship.
Challenges and Fears:
[00:03:39] Cynthia opens up about her fears surrounding trust, communication, and the societal expectations associated with relationships and aging.
Michelle and Cynthia discuss the complexities of initiating conversations about sexual desires and boundaries with potential partners.
Navigating Boundaries and Expectations:
Alphas Who Love Anal Play
Season 3 · Episode 3
Wednesday, March 13, 2024 • Duration 32:49
On the surface, Bill is your everyday blue collar man. But a back-breaking injury led him down the unexpected path of sexual enlightenment. Bill takes us along on his journey from discovering Kundalini rising to being catapulted into a world where the lines between pleasure, pain, and awakening are blurred, challenging everything we think we know about male sexuality, pleasure, and the power of self acceptance.
Show Notes:
Introduction to Bill's Journey [00:00:00]: Bill discusses societal misconceptions about anal pleasure among heterosexual cis men, setting the stage for an exploration of sexual boundaries and pleasure.
Challenges of Male Sexual Exploration [00:00:15]: Michelle touches on the cultural silence around male sexual preferences, especially regarding anal stimulation, outside of locker room talk.
Bill's Early Conversations on Sexuality [00:00:26]: An anecdote from Bill illustrates the difficulty of discussing sexual experimentation among friends due to societal taboos.
Kundalini Rising: A Catalyst for Change [00:00:34]: Bill's 12-year journey of sexual awakening through Kundalini Rising is introduced, marking a significant shift in his worldview on sexual communication.
Discovering New Forms of Orgasm [00:00:50]: Bill shares his discovery of the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, experiencing super prostate orgasms for the first time.
The Impact of Life's Stagnation [01:17]: Michelle reflects on how life responsibilities can lead to sexual stagnation, contrasting Bill's early curiosity with his later awakening.
An Injury Leads to Enlightenment [01:34]: The turning point in Bill's journey was seeking pain relief for a work-related injury, which unexpectedly led to a sexual awakening during a massage therapy session.
Registered Massage Therapist [01:50]: A transformative massage therapy session opens Bill up to explore his connection with energy work.
Sex & Money: When $$$ Met XXX
Season 3 · Episode 2
Wednesday, February 28, 2024 • Duration 32:10
Money is a major source of stress for so many people. We’re always thinking about it, talking about it, and worrying about it. But it’s rare that we think about the way that money affects our sexual relationships. Listen in to our conversation with Master Certified Ontological Coach, Tracey Burns, as we navigate through the seldom-discussed dynamic of money and sex. We delve into how money's influence extends far beyond the wallet and into the heart. We illuminate the challenges and opportunities that arise when navigating income differences with a partner, emphasizing the importance of open, honest conversations about finances.
Today, Tracey is a renowned coach, speaker, and advocate for financial wellness in relationships.
[00:00:00] Introduction to the Episode: Tracey discusses the impact of financial disparities on relationships and introduces the main themes of the conversation.
[00:00:34] The Relationship Escalator: Michelle talks about the dynamics she observes in couples regarding financial discussions and moving in together.
[01:03] Money and Shame: Tracey delves into how money conversations can be laden with shame and how to approach them.
[01:20] Sex, Money, and Society's Expectations: The relationship between sex, money, and societal pressures is explored, with insights on how these aspects influence each other.
[02:11] Ontological Coaching and Money Dynamics: Tracey explains ontological coaching and its application to understanding personal relationships with money.
[03:06] Using Money Conversations to Enhance Relationships: Discussion on how transparent conversations about finances can actually improve intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
[04:05] The Conversation with Tracey Burns: Michelle introduces her guest, Tracey Burns, for a deep dive into the nuances of money and relationships.
[06:01] Unpacking Financial Discrepancies in Partnerships: Tracey provides insights on how couples can navigate differences in income and financial management.
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[00:06:00] The conversation delves into the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining autonomy, and challenging societal norms in relationships.
Cynthia shares her concerns about potential changes in dynamics and expectations if her relationship with her friend were to become sexual.
Exploring Options and Self-Reflection:
[00:08:51] Michelle offers insights into alternative ways of meeting potential partners, such as matchmaking services and shared activities.
Cynthia reflects on the conversation and expresses gratitude for the insights.
Conclusion:
[00:10:21] Michelle thanks Cynthia for sharing her story and insights with listeners.
She encourages listeners to reach out with their own stories and experiences related to desire, intimacy, and sexual exploration after loss.
Closing Credits:
[00:11:39] Michelle provides information on how listeners can connect with the podcast, access online learning modules, and stay updated on future episodes.
Acknowledgment of the production team Katie and Kattie from Vocal Fry Studios
Embracing Kundalini Rising [02:10]: Bill discusses his acceptance and curiosity about why Kundalini Rising chose him, leading to a deeper exploration of his sexuality.
The Reiki Journey [03:15]: A significant healing session involving Reiki introduces Bill to new dimensions of sexual arousal and energy work, deepening his journey.
Arousal Amid Pain: A New Understanding [04:21]: Bill recounts experiencing arousal during extreme pain, leading to questions about the nature of his sexual experiences.
Personal Research and Discovery [05:06]: Following his therapy session, Bill dives into researching Kundalini Rising, seeking to understand the profound changes he's experiencing.
Energy Perception in Social and Intimate Settings [07:09]: Bill shares how his Kundalini awakening has affected his perception of energy in different settings, altering his connection with others.
Further Exploration with a Reiki Master [08:03]: An encounter with a Reiki master friend leads to another eye-opening session, further affirming Bill's experiences and exploration.
Embracing Prostate Massage and Beyond [09:56]: Guided by a sex coach, Bill delves into prostate massage, confronting societal norms and discovering unparalleled levels of pleasure and self-awareness.
The Societal Taboos Around Male Pleasure [10:08]: Bill discusses the societal pressures and misconceptions that deter men from exploring their bodies, particularly the stigma surrounding anal pleasure.
A New Understanding of Pleasure [11:17]: Bill's experimentation with prostate massage challenges his own preconceptions and leads to profound discoveries about his body's capacity for pleasure.
Guidance from a Sex Coach [12:32]: Bill shares how a sex coach encouraged him to further explore his sexual boundaries, emphasizing the importance of self-pleasure and body awareness.
Prostate Orgasms: Breaking New Ground [13:29]: Through self-exploration and guidance, Bill experiences non-ejaculatory, multiple prostate orgasms, a revelation that redefines his understanding of male pleasure.
A Transformative Experience [14:26]: The profound and extended pleasure of a super prostate orgasm leaves Bill in awe, challenging conventional notions of male orgasm and its potential.
Continued Exploration and Growth [15:22]: Bill expresses his ongoing commitment to exploring his sexuality, underlining the positive impacts of his journey on his well-being and sexual fulfillment.
Overcoming Sexual Shame [16:17]: Michelle introduces an online learning module aimed at helping individuals navigate and overcome sexual shame, highlighting the importance of personal growth and self-acceptance.
Advice for Others Facing Sexual Shame [17:10]: Bill offers advice to listeners struggling with their own sexual explorations, emphasizing the value of seeking professional guidance and opening up about one's desires.
The Power of Sharing Personal Stories [18:00]: Bill discusses his motivation for sharing his story on the podcast, hoping to inspire others to embrace their sexuality and challenge societal norms.
Reflections on Therapy and Openness [19:15]: Michelle and Bill discuss the transformative power of therapy and the importance of having safe spaces to explore and discuss sexuality without judgment.
The Role of Communication in Relationships [20:10]: The episode touches on the complexities of discussing sexual exploration within relationships, emphasizing the need for open communication and mutual understanding.
Looking Forward: Chapter Two of Sexual Exploration [21:05]: Bill views his journey as the beginning of a new chapter in his sexual exploration, one that continues to evolve as he learns and grows.
Gratitude and Closing Thoughts [22:00]: Michelle thanks Bill for his openness and insights, highlighting the episode's themes of sexual exploration, communication, and the journey toward understanding and embracing one's sexuality.
Invitation to the Audience [22:50]: Michelle invites listeners to share their own stories and engage with the podcast community, fostering a supportive environment for discussing sexuality.
Closing and Resources [23:40]: The episode concludes with an overview of available resources for listeners interested in exploring their own sexual journeys, including the "Unlearning Sexual Shame" module.
[07:40] Expectations vs. Reality in Financial Contributions: The discussion turns to managing expectations around financial contributions and understanding each other's financial standing.
[09:07] Adapting to Changes in Financial Dynamics: Strategies for couples to support each other through financial ups and downs.
[13:56] Unlearning Sexual Shame: Michelle introduces an online module aimed at addressing sexual shame and its ties to financial well-being.
[14:35] Emotional Infidelity and Financial Secrets: Tracey and Michelle discuss the parallels between discovering financial secrets and emotional infidelity.
[24:05] Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Tracey: The episode wraps up with final thoughts on money, relationships, and how to connect with Tracey Burns for more insights.
