Docs2Dads - A Pediatrician’s Field Guide for Fathers – Details, episodes & analysis

Navigating Parenting a Disabled Child: Insights from Kelley Coleman

In this episode of the Docs2Dads podcast, Dr. Scott Grant sits down with Kelly Coleman, author of 'Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child.' Together, they discuss Kelley's personal journey of raising a disabled child, the unexpected challenges and rewards, and her motivations behind writing the book. Kelley shares practical advice for parents, emphasizes the importance of community and partnership with medical professionals, and touches on balancing the needs of siblings and maintaining strong familial relationships. Kelley's insights aim to empower parents, clinicians, and caregivers to navigate the complexities of parenting a disabled child with confidence and compassion.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
04:40 Kelley Coleman's Background and Book Overview
09:38 Navigating Diagnostic Uncertainty
18:47 Building a Supportive Community
24:15 Fatherhood and Partnership Dynamics
38:06 Balancing Attention Between Siblings
43:55 Finding the Right Medical Partners
58:22 Conclusion and Where to Find the Book

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In the latest episode of Docs2Dads, we dive into the heartwarming and essential concept that "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child." Join Dr. Scott Grant as he explores how parents can confidently lean on their support system to enrich their parenting journey and embrace the help of their community.

Episode Highlights:

1. Importance of Utilizing Support System: Dr. Grant emphasizes that parents shouldn't hesitate to seek help from their village. Acknowledging the challenges and reaching out for assistance when needed is a crucial part of effective parenting.
2. Benefits of Seeking Help: Discover the positive impact of asking for support from friends, family, and community. Dr. Grant highlights that seeking help is a sign of strength and success, not weakness.
3. Taking Breaks and Self-care: Learn the importance of taking breaks, prioritizing self-care, and having time for yourself. Dr. Grant shares personal experiences of how taking time away as a couple can help reconnect and recharge.
4. Promoting Relationships with Grandparents: Explore the benefits of letting grandparents play a significant role in childcare and building relationships. Dr. Grant discusses how grandparents' involvement can emotionally benefit both parents and children.
5. Openness to Receiving Support: Dr. Grant encourages parents to communicate their needs to their community and be open to receiving help. He provides practical examples of how communities can support new parents effectively.

Tune in to this inspiring episode to understand how building and leaning on your village can create a nurturing environment for your children and bring immense support and joy to your parenting experience. #ParentingSupport #ItTakesAVillage #FamilyFirst #Docs2Dads

Have a question about this or other topics? Connect with Dr. Scott at the Social links below:

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🎙️ This week on the Docs2Dads Podcast, we're diving into one of the biggest parenting struggles: fostering independence in our children. Join us as we explore the challenges parents face in letting go and allowing our kids to spread their wings.

In this episode, Dr. Scott discusses a topic that he is currently struggling with. 

Recognizing the Parenting Challenge:

• Discussing common scenarios where parents struggle to allow their children to be more independent.
• Exploring the natural inclination to protect and control, and how it can hinder children's growth.

Short-Term vs. Long-Term Perspectives:

• Contrasting the short-term inconvenience of allowing children more independence with the long-term benefits.
• Highlighting how fostering independence fosters self-confidence, resilience, and problem-solving skills in children.

Strategies for Encouraging Independence:

1. Setting Age-Appropriate Expectations:
   • Discussing age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities to gradually increase independence.
   • Providing examples of tasks children can handle at different developmental stages.
2. Encouraging Risk-Taking and Decision-Making:
   • Emphasizing the importance of allowing children to make choices and learn from both successes and failures.
   • Offering guidance and support while allowing space for independent decision-making.
3. Providing Opportunities for Growth:
   • Exploring ways to expose children to new experiences and challenges to build competence and confidence.
   • Discussing the role of extracurricular activities, hobbies, and community involvement in fostering independence.

Overcoming Parental Anxiety:

• Addressing common fears and concerns parents may have about allowing their children to be more independent.
• Offering reassurance and practical strategies for managing parental anxiety while promoting independence.

Celebrating Milestones and Progress:

• Discussing the importance of acknowledging and celebrating children's achievements and milestones along their journey to independence.
• Sharing personal anecdotes and success stories to inspire parents and reinforce the value of their efforts.

Have a question about this or other topics? Connect with Dr. Scott at the Social links below:

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 This week, on the Docs2Dads podcast we welcome Dr. Bradford Unroe, a psychiatrist in training who is going to help us know what signs to look for in ourselves and our partners to recognize
the early signs of mental health problems after you have a baby!! He shares his experiences of becoming a dad at a stressful time in history and we share some of our personal stories about postpartum mental health. All this week on the Docs2Dads Podcast.

First Things First!!
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, please seek help by calling the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255 or chat at the link
Crisis Text Line - Text "HOME" to 741741
Find A Therapist - Psychology Today
Find Support Groups - Nat'l Alliance for Mental Health

Our community is here to help you:
💪up your game as a JOY-FILLED dad
👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 be the leader your family needs you to be
❤️‍🩹build a happier, healthier life for yourself, your family, and your community.
Connect with the Docs2Dads podcast to join our community.
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Connect with Dr. Unroe on Instagram or Twitter

I am particularly proud of this episode. I hope it will bring a lot of value and support to struggling parents out there and normalize men talking about mental health with each other. Postpartum depression is a really important topic that affects more moms and dads than most people recognize, so I wanted to bring someone on the show to talk a little bit about mental health challenges that both parents can face in the weeks and months leading up to birth and after baby comes home. I found a fellow physician who is a psychiatrist in training who has experience preventing, diagnosing, and treating the whole spectrum of mental health disorders. And he is a dad, just like us.

Peripartum mental health challenges can affect moms and dads and generally happen along a spectrum from so-called baby blues, worsening to peripartum depression and peripartum psychosis. Baby blues are very common, peripartum depression is estimated to affect 20% of moms and 10% of dads and can lead to loss of interest in things that once brought them joy. Peripartum psychosis is more specific to moms and is very rare, but very dangerous. This is an emergency to seek care for mom to keep her and baby safe.

This can happen to anyone. The more we can be share those vulnerable moments with our partners or other trusted friends, the more we may be able to see that we are not alone. We also need to know when we should seek more professional help. That is, when we are a risk to ourselves or others, or thoughts that are interfering with your ability to function normally in your day to day life.

Having a baby is among the most stressful things that we experience when measured on stress scales, it comes with a lot of transitions in schedules, responsibilities and identity and so we should have some grace with ourselves work to build supportive

Have a question about this or other topics? Connect with Dr. Scott at the Social links below:

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Welcome back Dads!! A few weeks ago, we discussed the struggle most couples face with staying connected to each other and maintaining good communication and friendship as you take on the challenge of parenthood. Then, I came across a couple that had the key to success and I had to bring them on the show. Dr. George Naum and his wife, Vanessa, have been coaching married couples for over 25 years. In 2018 they began specializing in physician marriage coaching.

Through the years, Vanessa and Jeep have seen the best and the worst of marriages in the context of medical practice, coaching, and among their personal relationships. They have been married for nearly 30 years. I believe that if you have a goal, one of the best ways to achieve it is to find someone else who is doing it and learn from them. So that’s what I did.

I know this conversation will help encourage you in those long days and nights after a new baby and help you develop habits that will help build lifelong intimacy.   

I hope you learn as much as I did from this couple who have been married for a long time, survived raising three kids and having both partners trying to build careers and pursue passions. This can sometimes feel impossible, or at least, overwhelming, so it is always reassuring to see a couple doing this well and trying hard to keep doing it well. 

Here are a couple key takeaways from my conversation with Jeep and Vanessa!

1. Some of the challenges associated with having kids can be eased by having conversations about having kids before you get married or start trying for a baby. How many do you want? What will you expect from each other after baby is born?  What support can you provide to each other? These answers may change over time, but you need to have at least started having these conversations early on.
2. You and your partner may have times when your confidence is shaken because you are going through tough times or you get worried about parenthood, but you can be a voice of confidence for your partner that you can do it together and that you have faith in their ability to be a great parent.
3. Parenting is a team sport when done well. Parenting will go so much smoother if you work together, communicate effectively and help each other out. Affirm the positive and empathize with the negative. 
4. Detach yourself from the idea that there are certain tasks that are “wife” issues or “husband” issues. You can’t put your nose up at changing a diaper or warming a bottle. 
5. It’s never too late to reclaim your marriage. If you are feeling “Disenchantment” with your relationship. Investing time in emotional and intellectual intimacy gets forgotten. Communicate how you are feeling and your needs and wants. But take note of your partner’s wants and needs as well. 

Dr. George and Vanessa Naum can be found at www.bestfriendsagain.com and Dr. Naum’s book “What’s Forever For” is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold. 

If you would like more resources on maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner after kids, please let us know that you enjoyed this episode by leaving a five star review on your favorite podcast app or connecting with us on social media. 

We are weeks a

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Today, we talk about what to expect from your visits with the pediatrician in the first 6-8 weeks of your baby’s life.  we talked back in episode 8 about how to go about choosing a pediatrician, so if you are still struggling with that decision, please go back and listen to that episode. You will typically have a visit at 3-5 days, 2 weeks, 1 month, 2 months, 4 months, and 6 months to get started. There are a few things you should expect to happen at each visit with your primary care pediatrician or other provider.

1.      Your concerns: Bring a list of your concerns or questions about how your kid is doing. No matter if it seems silly or small. This is why we became pediatricians. To support you in your journey of parenthood. If we don’t address your concerns, you won’t hear anything else we say. So, let’s start with that.

2.      Growth: This should include measuring weight, length, and head circumference. We will ask questions about nutrition, feeding frequency, physical activity, and how the child is doing when compared to birth weight and the growth curves. We want them to pick a line on the growth curve and stick with it.

3.      Development: We will assess five domains of development – speech, fine motor, gross motor, problem solving, social/emotional. Usually with a formal assessment like the Ages and Stages Questionnaire (ASQ) or similar tool. Early Intervention service are available for kids who are not meeting their milestones

4.      Full Physical Exam: This should include a full skin exam and looking for subtle signs of medical problems, specifically those that are related to your concerns.

5.      Anticipatory Guidance: This is the teaching or coaching you get from your pediatrician to help you know what challenges are coming around the corner and new exciting skills your child will learn before the next well visit. 

Become part of our community at docs2dads.com where you can join our email newsletter and get alerts whenever a new episode is available.  You will also be the first to know about our live events and courses when they come available later in the year. 

Connect with us on Social Media and let us know how we can better serve you and your family!!

Thanks as always to Phil Rabon, the Producer of the Docs2Dads Podcast.

Have a question about this or other topics? Connect with Dr. Scott at the Social links below:

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 Welcome back dads!! This week we are continuing our detour from your regularly scheduled programming because there has been such chaos in the world and I know a lot of parents are struggling to figure out how to talk to their kids about what is going on and I wanted to try to help. So I reached out to a new friend of mine who is another podcasting pediatrician who had a great episode on this topic when those of us in Michigan were shaken by a school shooting in Oxford, MI that you may have seen on the national news.  I’m very grateful to Dr. Lia Gaggino for making time last minute to get together to record with me so we can get this out to you as soon as possible and try to help in some small way.

Dr. Lia Gaggino (IG: @pediatricmeltdown, Twitter: @gagginol) is a primary care pediatrician practicing on the west side of Michigan for over 30 years. From 2015 to 2020, she served as the Kalamazoo-based Bronson Healthcare System medical director of behavioral health implementing Zero Suicide practices and building integrated behavioral health in primary care.

Dr. Gaggino is the founder of Medical Behavioral Health Solutions, LLC offering support to clinicians and systems and the host of the pediatric meltdown podcast featuring experts on children’s emotional well-being. She currently sits on the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) board of directors, partners closely with the Michigan chapter of the AAP and is a consultant to the University of Michigan MC3 Child Psychiatry Access Program.

Here are a couple key takeaways from my conversation with Dr. Gaggino.

1. We truly have to put our own oxygen mask on first. We need to find a balance between our need for new information and our ability to regulate our emotions. You will likely need some time with the tv off and the phones away to reconnect with loved ones to help you maintain your sanity. 
2. For younger kids, you have a little more control over what they consume, so try to limit their exposure to some of the scarier images if you can. Their main priority is going to be their safety, so you may have to offer them more reassurance than you are used to, to help them understand that they are out of harm’s way or that you are going to be with them to help keep them safe.
3. School aged kids may or may not want to talk about these scary images, but the best way to know is to ask them about it. Even if they don’t take you up on the offer, they will know that you are available when they do have questions, whether it’s about this issue or something else in the future. They may also manifest their fear with misbehavior or sleep challenges. So have some grace when those attention-seeking behaviors start getting worse.
4. Teenagers may be looking for ways to give back, so channeling that energy into your local community or finding ways for them to contribute in some small way 

These conversations are never easy, but your kids will probably have questions, so knowing where reliable sources of information are when it comes to child health, like healthychildren.org from the American Academy of Pediatrics

Have a question about this or other topics? Connect with Dr. Scott at the Social links below:

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WELCOME BACK TO THE DOCS2DADS PODCAST. FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA HERE!!

ONE OF THE BEST WAYS TO GROW THE SHOW AND HELP MORE DADS DISCOVER OUR COMMUNITY IS TO LEAVE A FIVE STAR REVIEW FOR OUR PODCAST WHERE YOU CAN ASK A QUESTION THAT I CAN ANSWER ON THE SHOW LIKE THIS ONE:

HI DR. SCOTT,  THE TODDLER YEARS CAN BE VERY NEGATIVE AND PARENTS CAN FIND THEMSELVES SAYING ‘NO’ LIKE 100 TIMES A DAY AND THAT IS WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW. HOW CAN I GET TO A PLACE WHERE I DON’T HAVE TO SAY NO SO OFTEN? IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY INTERACTION I HAVE WITH MY CHILD IS NEGATIVE. 

THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR THIS QUESTION. THIS IS A VERY COMMON CHALLENGE FOR PARENTS AND I WOULD SAY THAT THERE ARE THREE MAIN CATEGORIES OF ‘NO’S AND GETTING FAMILIAR WITH HOW OFTEN YOU USE EACH KIND CAN BE USEFUL. I CATEGORIZE THEM AS SAFETY NO’S PRACTICAL NO’S AND ANNOYED NO’S.

WORK TO CREATE OPPORTUNITIES FOR POSITIVE INTERACTIONS. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER BUILDING SOMETHING, WHERE THEY CAN’T DO IT “WRONG” AND THEY CAN BE CREATIVE AND EXPLORE. 

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION THAT YOU WANT ANSWERED ON THE SHOW, PLEASE REACH OUT VIA SOCIAL MEDIA OR SEND US AN EMAIL AT DOCS2DADSPOD@GMAIL.COM. WE’D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR QUESTION AND HELP OTHER DADS WHO ARE STRUGGLING WITH THE SAME ISSUES.

THERE’S SOMETHING THAT’S BEEN ON MY HEART LATELY THAT I HOPE WILL HELP SOME OF YOU WHO ARE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH SEASON.  

PEOPLE IN THE MIDWEST TALK ABOUT THE SEASONS AS SOMETHING THEY LOVE ABOUT LIVING HERE. I DIDN'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT AFTER MOVING FROM PHOENIX WHERE WHAT WE LOVED WAS SUNSHINE!! BUT I HAVE DEVELOPED A SENSE OF WHY THEY LOVE SEASONS. NOT THAT EACH ONE IS GREAT, BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN LIFE IS TOUGH AND THIS HELPS YOU APPRECIATE THE GOOD TIMES MORE. 

I KNOW A LOT OF MY FELLOW DADS ARE GOING THROUGH CHALLENGING TIMES RIGHT NOW AND I JUST WANT TO OFFER SOME ENCOURAGEMENT.

MANY TIMES, DADS IN PARTICULAR FEEL THE NEED TO “TOUGH IT OUT” OR “GO IT ALONE”  DURING CHALLENGING SEASONS. BUT THERE ARE TIMES WHEN WE NEED HELP.  WE SHOULD SEEK ADVICE FROM PEOPLE WHO WE TRUST.

SOMETIMES THESE SEASONS CORRELATE WITH CHALLENGES WITH FEEDING OR SLEEPING AND THEY CAN FEEL LIKE FOREVER: EVERY MEAL, EVERY NAP CAN TURN INTO AN EXPLOSION.  APPROACH THESE CHALLENGES USING TEAMWORK. 

FINALLY, TRY SHAKING UP THE ROUTINE. DO DAILY CHECK-INS WITH YOURSELF TO DETERMINE WHAT YOU NEED TO CARE FOR YOURSELF SO YOU CAN SHOW UP FOR YOUR FAMILY.  DO YOU NEED MORE SLEEP? EXERCISE? PRAYER AND MEDITATION? ALL OF THE ABOVE? ONE OF MY FAVORITE QUOTES COMES FROM ST. FRANCIS DE SALES "EVERYONE NEEDS HALF AN HOUR OF PRAYER EACH DAY UNLESS THEY ARE BUSY - THEN THEY NEED AN HOUR." IT IS WHEN WE LEAST HAVE TIME FOR SELF-CARE THAT WE MUST FIND A WAY TO MAKE TIME FOR IT. 

 WORK WITH YOUR PARTNER TO PROTECT TIME FOR ONE ANOTHER. MAYBE YOU NEED A DATE NIGHT TO RECONNECT WITH YOUR PARTNER. MAKE A DAILY HABIT OF GRATITUDE AROUND YOUR PARTNER AND KIDS. SOME OF MY FAVORITE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY WIFE ARE SHARING FUNNY STORIES ABOUT THINGS OUR KIDS DID THAT MADE US SMILE. IT CAN REALLY PULL ME OUT OF A RUT.  

1. TOUGH SEASONS WILL PASS WITH PATIENCE AND INTENTIONAL ACTION
2. SEEK SUPPORT

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Welcome Back To The Docs2dads Podcast. We have many ways for you to follow the show and interact with Dr. Scott. All our Social Media can be found here.

 This Week I Am Honored To Welcome Another Special Guest To The Show.  Dr. Phil Boucher Is A Husband And Father Of Six Who Serves As A General Pediatrician Based In Lincoln, Nebraska. He Is Also A Fellow Podcaster With Two Podcasts, One For Parents Called “Raising Good Parents” And One For Pediatric Providers Called “Pediatrics 2.0.”  I Have Found A Kindred Spirit In Dr. Boucher As He Describes His Mission As  Focusing His Time And Professional Efforts On Educating Parents To Feel Confident And Reassured In Their Parenting Abilities, And I Couldn’t Have Said It Better Myself. 

Today, Dr. Boucher Is Going To Talk To Us About Sleep. We Will Be Talking About A Variety Of Topics Including How To Adjust To The Newborn Sleep Cycles, How To Think About ‘so-Called’ Sleep Training, And Some Of The More Challenging Ages To Navigate Sleep Issues. Let’s Welcome Dr. Boucher To The Show.

In this episode, Dr. Boucher and I will discuss

• AS A NEW DAD WHOIS JUST BRINGING A NEW BABY HOME FOR THE FIRST TIME, WHAT SHOULD YOU EXPECT IN THOSE FIRST FEW WEEKS? 

• WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN BABIES HAVE THEIR DAYS AND NIGHTS MIXED UP.

• INFANT SLEEP HAS BECOME A MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY, WHAT ADVICE DO WE GIVE PARENTS RELATED TO FANCY CRIBS OR SLEEPERS?  (HINT: IT INVOLVES A DATE NIGHT!!) 

• WE DISCUSS A COUPLE OF BUZZWORDS THAT GET THROWN AROUND FOR  SO-CALLED SLEEP TRAINING: "DROWSY BUT AWAKE" AND "CRY IT OUT."

• WHAT IS NECESSARY FOR A FOOL-PROOF BEDTIME ROUTINE

• TIPS FOR DADS WHO HAVE OLDER KIDS, (TODDLER AND PRE-SCHOOL AGED CHILDREN) AND DADS WITH TEENAGERS? 

HERE ARE MY THREE KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE WITH DR. BOUCHER:

1) While Babies Sleep For 16-20 Hours Each Day, These Are Usually In Short 2-3 Hour Stretches, So It Isn’t Quite As Glamorous As It Seems. The More You Can Work Together With Your Partner During Those Long Nights, The More Smoothly It Will Go. Check In With Each Other And Take Shifts As Much As Possible. If Mom Is Breastfeeding, Then Do All Of The Other Things That You Can To Make Her Job As Easy As Possible Overnight. And Learn To Swaddle. This Will Help You Get Your Baby To Sleep Very Easily In Those Early Days And Doesn’t Require A Second Mortgage On Your Home Like Some Of These Other Expensive Sleep Solutions. 

2) Your Bedtime Routine Should Be As Little As Possible To Achieve The Desired Outcome, Which Is A Sleeping Baby. It Doesn’t Have To Be Elaborate To Be Effective. Try Out Different Approaches To See What Works For Your Kids Until You Find A Sweet Spot.

3) For Older Kids, It Takes Consistency, Persistence, And Patience To Get Them To Stay In Bed. You Have To Consistently Put The Kid Back In Bed, And You Have To Be On The Same Page With Your Partner So That You Are Both Giving The Same Response. Patience To Not Give Any “Negative” Attention In Addition To Avoiding “Giving Into The 12th Request For Water. 

If You Would Like To Engage More With Dr. Boucher, You Can Follow Him @Philbouchermd On Social Media Or Check Out His

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Welcome back for Part 2 of our discussion with Dr. Laurie Jones (@DoctorDrMilk) about the 5 Love Languages of Breastfeeding for Dads.  We use the framework that I described in last week's episode to talk about dozens of practical ways dads can support their partners in successful breastfeeding.

We do cover some more sensitive topics when we get to the Physical Touch Love Language, so if you usually listen with young ears in the car, this may be one to save for later.

If you need additional support for you and your partner. I would love to help you. Please reach out to me at any of our social media links here.
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[0:00] - Introduction of the 5 Love Languages Framework and Dr. Laurie Jones

[2:30] - Words of Affirmation for Breastfeeding "Thank you for feeding our child!!"

[7:50] - Acts of Service "Your Wife's To-Do List and the Value of Chore-play"

[14:30] - Quality Time "Dad should take Responsibility for being the Gatekeeper to allow time for rest and recovery."

[17:15] - Receiving Gifts "Push Presents are Overrated, but Dr. Jones has some great ideas"

[24:15] - Physical Touch "So much discord in this particular area; overcoming the sense of feeling 'touched out'"

[33:55] - My summarizing thoughts and concluding remarks

Thank you for listening to the Docs2Dads podcast. We'd love to hear from you. 

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