An unfiltered dating podcast all about love, sex, relationships, and all the ways humans are sometimes really bad at them. Dr. NerdLove and Dr. Liz Powell break down what not do, and what actually works.
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We Need to Talk About Madeline OR: The r/Polyamory Musical
Episode 3
Wednesday, March 11, 2026 • Duration 01:04:19
You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley break down Lily Allen's therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they're so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions.
In between Harris and Dr. Liz's in-depth chat about an open relationship that's nothing more than a smokescreen for selfishness, they go over:
The power of the Nice Guy™ persona
Why saying yes doesn't always mean consent
The reason why rules for opening relationships usually bring more hurt
Dr. Liz and Harris' favorite breakup bangers
Press play, pour a drink, and get ready to scream at David Harbour (and all the men who always fail upwards).
Time Stamps
00:00 Introduction
01:00 West End Girl: The call that changed everything
07:00 Ruminating: Saying yes when you mean no
12:00 Madeline: Broken agreements and love-light gaslighting
20:00 Sleepwalking: Emotional erasure
26:00 Relapse: Trying to be the "modern wife"
27:30 Nonmonogamummy: Insecurities, age, and emotional exposure
29:00 Dallas Major: "I hate it here"
31:00 Tennis: Emotional betrayal in the smallest things
33:00 Pussy Palace: The moment of discovery
36:00 Madeline (Revisited): Real consequences
38:00 4chan Stan: The greatest insult on the album
Backhanded Compliments and Surprise Jehovah's Witness Meetings
Episode 2
Wednesday, February 25, 2026 • Duration 01:15:55
If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah's Witness meeting, what would you do?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah's Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting.
Join for Reddit stories, stay for:
The realization that old British horror movies are just another Tuesday for Dr. NerdLove
Vampire Diaries lore (and why they should have chosen a poly relationship)
An in-depth conversation about what should be disclosed before a first date
Enjoy learning about accidental forays into religious cults, being a nerd pre-Pokemon, and the reminder that you don't need to be a regular Romeo to find relationships. You just need to treat people like people!
Time Stamps
00:00 Welcome, chaos Muppets!
01:00 Reddit story #1: "others won't find you hot"
04:30 Let's talk negging
06:00 Shakespeare, Sonnet 130, and the original "you're not pretty, but…"
09:30 The Madonna-Whore complex in modern dating
12:30 You can't make someone "unhot" to the world
15:00 The dangers of dating people for who you want them to be
17:30 Sex parties, attraction, and why everyone's hot
20:00 Poly brain vs. jealousy brain
Three AI Chatbots Walk Into A Couple's Retreat...
Episode 1
Wednesday, February 11, 2026 • Duration 01:50:04
Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot.
Get ready for:
Anime goth girlfriends (AI, of course)
The merits of corporate-owned AI babies
The ethics of dating when your partner can't say no
If you want to laugh and cringe and wonder about the beauty of human-to-human connection, find a cozy spot, kick up your feet, and enjoy the first episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did.
Time Stamps
00:00 Introduction
01:30 Rusty podcast hosts, burnout, and why they're back
05:50 Today's Topic: Following 3 AI-human couples on a weekend getaway
10:40 Damien & Zia
18:40 Elena & Lucas
22:10 Roleplay mechanics
25:20 Eva & Erin
29:10 The "blue pill" moment
32:40 What happens when AI only tells you what you want to hear?
36:10 Please don't get an AI therapist
40:30 What happens when companies shut down
Strangers using Snapchat AI as "support"
Do Women Actually Care About Load Size…or is it Just Other Men?
Episode 5
Wednesday, April 8, 2026 • Duration 01:21:14
Have you ever cared about the amount of someone's…ahem…ejaculation?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That's right. They're talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their "enhanced performance" is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts.
Highlights of the episode:
Porn "money shots" aren't what you think
Fast and Furious movies are a little like porn
Having sex…with your balls?! 👀
If you're interested in staying blissfully unaware about the secret lives of nutmaxxers, turn away now, because things are about to get a little sticky.
Time Stamps
0:00 – Intro bloopers & ADHD brains unite
2:00 – Why this podcast is pre-recorded
5:00 – Meet the Nutmaxxers: semen obsession & supplement culture
10:00 – Cum fetish vs. the unbearable cringe of this article
14:00 – Porn isn't real
20:00 – Male insecurity
26:00 – Fantasy vs. reality
34:00 – "I don't want a gallon on my face"
38:00 – Micropenises, oral skills, and redefining good sex
45:00 – Bad partners, poor communication, and load shame
Technology Won't Solve Your Trust Issues
Episode 4
Wednesday, March 25, 2026 • Duration 01:04:02
Episode Description/Show Notes
Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster's facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who've been cheated on, they also can't overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers.
They chat about public call-out culture and the complete lack of privacy we've all come to expect, how technology is somehow made with negative ethical considerations, and the fact that men are often the ones at the scene of the crime.
Highlights of the episode:
FetLife privacy scandals
Debating the ethics of "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook groups
Remembering a time when life wasn't the constant content grind
Before you race to see if your partner is secretly still on Tinder, listen to this. You might just find that trusting someone (or breaking up with them) is better than turning to spyware tech.
Time Stamps
00:00 - Welcome back!
02:00 - Cheater Buster, Tinder, and facial recognition
05:00 - FetLife privacy scandal
10:00 - Meta smart glasses and surveillance tech
16:00 - Why Cheater Buster is actually stalkerware
21:00 - Trust in relationships
24:00 - You can't prove a negative
How the Manosphere Feeds the Ego, but Starves the Soul
Episode 11
Wednesday, May 27, 2026 • Duration 01:17:38
Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he's "too smart to find love," and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him.
Reading The Telegraph's article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it's him), what might actually help him, and offer up new perspectives on what "intelligence," "cleverness," and "wit" actually entail.
Highlights of the episode:
A men's group that makes you make vows with an axe??
Dr. Liz and Harris' first pop culture crushes (kids today just don't understand)
Knowing who David Bowie is isn't a sign of intelligence
If you're a smarty-pants and you want to get into other smarty-pants' pants, then this episode is for you! Dr. Liz and Harris share how to actually find folks whose interests align with yours, without being a major jerk in the process.
Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro and Doc Holliday shout-out
01:20 - The article: "Celibacy Taught Me I'm Too Clever to Find Love"
03:00 - Red flags and a punchable face
05:50 - Education ≠ intelligence
10:45 - "My girlfriends were hot but dumb" 🤢
14:00 - Being witty vs being an asshole
17:30 - Treating women as interchangeable roles
20:00 - Finding a wife vs building a partnership
23:30 - The illusion of intellectual superiority
Why Every Body Benefits from Accessible Adult Toys w/ Step Tranovich
Episode 10
Wednesday, May 20, 2026 • Duration 01:06:17
There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thing for everyone.
You don't want to miss:
How Cute Little Fkers changed Kickstarter (for the better)!
How toxic masculinity makes boring adult toys
A fun story on how their toys can be hidden in plain sight
How and where to consensually spank Step 😉
It doesn't matter what's in your pants, what size or shape of body you have, or how able-bodied you are; you deserve toys that feel good and affirm your experience and identity! If you're ready to kick boring toys, shame, and stigma to the curb, you'll love this episode.
Who is Step?
Step (they/them) founded Cute Little Fkers in 2019 to create cute, accessible adult toys for trans and queer folks. Today, they have a range of toys that are inclusive, body-friendly, and downright adorable to help folks of all genders, sexualities, and identities explore pleasure without shame, dysphoria, or rigid gender expectations.
Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro & Welcome Step with Cute Little Fkers
01:35 - What is Cute Little Fkers
03:50 - Disability, career shifts, and building a queer sex toy company
The Lie Incels and Looksmaxxers Are Trying to Sell You
Episode 9
Wednesday, May 13, 2026 • Duration 01:27:13
Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it's gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity.
They dig into:
There is nothing you can do to guarantee romance or success in dating (and that's okay!)
How looksmaxxing is more about status with other men than appealing to women
The role of shame, unprocessed grief, and the just-world fallacy
Attraction isn't math (it's actually just phrenology)
What you can do to actually be more attractive to women!
So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren't trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn't hurt, either).
Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context
04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it's everywhere)
05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing
13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community
16:48 - Entitlement to women's bodies and sexual access
20:28 - Broken generational promises
29:13 - Gen Z's obsession with gooning
32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the "Sexual Market Value" scale
Why Does Fashion Have Gender Anyway - W/ Rae Hill
Episode 8
Wednesday, May 6, 2026 • Duration 01:35:59
Is it still "support" if you're trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs.
Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it's not turning them into your personal makeover project.
Highlights of the episode:
Binders, gaffs, and gender-affirming clothing 101
A relationship that's somehow 80% "just friends" but still dating?
A rant about how boxy, beige, and boring "androgynous" clothes are
A reminder that gender-affirming care is for everyone!
If you've ever felt weird in your clothes, frustrated by gendered fashion, or you know someone who could use you as their hype person, this one's for you. And as a reminder, don't be afraid to put on the damn skirt!
Who is Rae Hill?
Rae Hill (they/them) is a nonbinary advocate and educator. They founded Origami Customs, a community advocacy program and clothing line for folks of all genders, bodies, and abilities. Origami Customs creates custom gender-affirming garments and works with organizations worldwide to provide free gaffs, binders, and education to people facing access barriers.
Time Stamps
00:00 - Welcome to Do As We Say, Not As They Did
01:33 - Episode guest: Rae Hill, founder of Origami Customs
02:17 - What is Origami Customs
04:00 - Binders, gaffs, and gender affirming garments
05:13 - Binding and tucking safety
Is Heated Rivalry the Answer to the Male Loneliness Epidemic?
Episode 7
Wednesday, April 29, 2026 • Duration 01:18:32
Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other.
They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey.
Highlights of the episode:
Why we need queer stories that aren't rooted in trauma
What the show gets right about the male gaze
How male friendships are the key to addressing the male loneliness epidemic
And what to watch next when you're left with a Heated Rivalry-shaped hole in your heart
So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships.
Time Stamps
00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry
02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit
05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed"
07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip
08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety
22:00 Reddit story #2: Surprise! You're in a Jehovah's Witness meeting
26:00 Cult tactics: lovebombing and recruiting through romance
38:00 What should you disclose in early dating
43:00 Dr. NerdLove's near-miss cult experience
50:00 Don't use AI to talk to people
53:00 Ask questions, be curious, get laid
57:00 Pretending to be someone else kills your sex life
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