Explore every episode of the podcast Do As We Say, Not As They Did
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| We Need to Talk About Madeline OR: The r/Polyamory Musical | 11 Mar 2026 | 01:04:19 | |
You've had some dramatic break ups, but have you ever had a relationship that ended with an album full of bangers about dysfunction, heartbreak, and anger? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley break down Lily Allen's therapeutic divorce album, West End Girl. And I gotta tell ya, they're so here for seeing a powerful man actually get his just deserts. They go through each song and all the raw, messy, and painfully relatable emotions. In between Harris and Dr. Liz's in-depth chat about an open relationship that's nothing more than a smokescreen for selfishness, they go over:
Press play, pour a drink, and get ready to scream at David Harbour (and all the men who always fail upwards).
Time Stamps 00:00 Introduction 01:00 West End Girl: The call that changed everything 07:00 Ruminating: Saying yes when you mean no 12:00 Madeline: Broken agreements and love-light gaslighting 20:00 Sleepwalking: Emotional erasure 26:00 Relapse: Trying to be the "modern wife" 27:30 Nonmonogamummy: Insecurities, age, and emotional exposure 29:00 Dallas Major: "I hate it here" 31:00 Tennis: Emotional betrayal in the smallest things 33:00 Pussy Palace: The moment of discovery 36:00 Madeline (Revisited): Real consequences 38:00 4chan Stan: The greatest insult on the album 39:00 Beg for Me: Wanting to be desired 40:00 Let You Win: No longer carrying his shame 44:00 Fruityloop: It's not me, it's you 49:00 Album Reflections 55:00 Favorite Breakup Songs 1:03:00 Outro & Where to Find Us
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| Backhanded Compliments and Surprise Jehovah's Witness Meetings | 25 Feb 2026 | 01:15:55 | |
If you expected a date and ended up at a Jehovah's Witness meeting, what would you do?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell unpack the wonderfully cursed waters of Reddit relationship stories. First up: a man whose compliments feel more like insults. Then, a surprising trip to a Jehovah's Witness meeting ended with a day of gaslighting.
Join for Reddit stories, stay for:
Enjoy learning about accidental forays into religious cults, being a nerd pre-Pokemon, and the reminder that you don't need to be a regular Romeo to find relationships. You just need to treat people like people!
Time Stamps 00:00 Welcome, chaos Muppets! 01:00 Reddit story #1: "others won't find you hot" 04:30 Let's talk negging 06:00 Shakespeare, Sonnet 130, and the original "you're not pretty, but…" 09:30 The Madonna-Whore complex in modern dating 12:30 You can't make someone "unhot" to the world 15:00 The dangers of dating people for who you want them to be 17:30 Sex parties, attraction, and why everyone's hot 20:00 Poly brain vs. jealousy brain 22:00 Reddit story #2: Surprise! You're in a Jehovah's Witness meeting 26:00 Cult tactics: lovebombing and recruiting through romance 38:00 What should you disclose in early dating 43:00 Dr. NerdLove's near-miss cult experience 50:00 Don't use AI to talk to people 53:00 Ask questions, be curious, get laid 57:00 Pretending to be someone else kills your sex life 1:04:00 The true cost of lies (even small ones) 1:14:00 Let it go. Seriously. 1:15:00 Where to find us online!
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| Three AI Chatbots Walk Into A Couple's Retreat... | 11 Feb 2026 | 01:50:04 | |
Would you trade in your human partner for an AI chatbot? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley discuss the hilarious highs and unnerving lows of human-AI relationships chronicled in Wired Magazine. As capital H AI-Haters, Harris and Dr. Liz talk about what it actually means when you romance a robot.
Get ready for:
If you want to laugh and cringe and wonder about the beauty of human-to-human connection, find a cozy spot, kick up your feet, and enjoy the first episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did.
Time Stamps 00:00 Introduction 01:30 Rusty podcast hosts, burnout, and why they're back 05:50 Today's Topic: Following 3 AI-human couples on a weekend getaway 10:40 Damien & Zia 18:40 Elena & Lucas 22:10 Roleplay mechanics 25:20 Eva & Erin 29:10 The "blue pill" moment 32:40 What happens when AI only tells you what you want to hear? 36:10 Please don't get an AI therapist 40:30 What happens when companies shut down 43:40 Strangers using Snapchat AI as "support" 46:00 Damien's breakdown 49:50 Games, fiction, and attachment 52:20 Risky couples game 53:30 Eerie "AI would love this" vibes 55:10 And that's a wrap 58:00 Where to find the hosts & final thoughts
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod | |||
| Do Women Actually Care About Load Size…or is it Just Other Men? | 08 Apr 2026 | 01:21:14 | |
Have you ever cared about the amount of someone's…ahem…ejaculation?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell talk about the men who really, really care about shooting ropes like Spider-Man. That's right. They're talking about nutmaxxers. Fueled by the fantasies of porn and a desire for self-optimization, these men might say their "enhanced performance" is for their partners, but Dr. Liz and Harris have their doubts.
Highlights of the episode:
If you're interested in staying blissfully unaware about the secret lives of nutmaxxers, turn away now, because things are about to get a little sticky.
Time Stamps 0:00 – Intro bloopers & ADHD brains unite 2:00 – Why this podcast is pre-recorded 5:00 – Meet the Nutmaxxers: semen obsession & supplement culture 10:00 – Cum fetish vs. the unbearable cringe of this article 14:00 – Porn isn't real 20:00 – Male insecurity 26:00 – Fantasy vs. reality 34:00 – "I don't want a gallon on my face" 38:00 – Micropenises, oral skills, and redefining good sex 45:00 – Bad partners, poor communication, and load shame 52:00 – Actually useful advice 58:00 – Why men need to listen (and not just to each other) 1:06:00 – What's really sexy 1:12:00 – Final thoughts: Be a person, not a cum performance robot
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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| Technology Won't Solve Your Trust Issues | 25 Mar 2026 | 01:04:02 | |
Episode Description/Show Notes Where do you draw the line between calling out cheaters and a surveillance state?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell dive deep (deep 😉) into the surveillance nightmare that is Cheater Buster's facial recognition software. While their hearts go out to folks who've been cheated on, they also can't overlook how this technology will 100% be used by stalkers and abusers.
They chat about public call-out culture and the complete lack of privacy we've all come to expect, how technology is somehow made with negative ethical considerations, and the fact that men are often the ones at the scene of the crime.
Highlights of the episode:
Before you race to see if your partner is secretly still on Tinder, listen to this. You might just find that trusting someone (or breaking up with them) is better than turning to spyware tech.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome back! 02:00 - Cheater Buster, Tinder, and facial recognition 05:00 - FetLife privacy scandal 10:00 - Meta smart glasses and surveillance tech 16:00 - Why Cheater Buster is actually stalkerware 21:00 - Trust in relationships 24:00 - You can't prove a negative 31:00 - The death of privacy and content-ifying people's worst moments 36:00 - Weaponizing apps 43:00 - Dating entitlement 49:00 - Healing trust issues 54:00 - Dr. Liz and Harris get recognized 60:00 - Final thoughts
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| How the Manosphere Feeds the Ego, but Starves the Soul | 27 May 2026 | 01:17:38 | |
Have you ever met someone with a punchable face…and even more punchable opinions? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell endure the pain of hearing from a man who claims celibacy taught him that he's "too smart to find love," and though he comes close, he never actually considers the problems might just be…him. Reading The Telegraph's article from the man himself, Mattha Busby, they break down his actual problems in finding love (spoiler alert: it's him), what might actually help him, and offer up new perspectives on what "intelligence," "cleverness," and "wit" actually entail. Highlights of the episode:
If you're a smarty-pants and you want to get into other smarty-pants' pants, then this episode is for you! Dr. Liz and Harris share how to actually find folks whose interests align with yours, without being a major jerk in the process. Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro and Doc Holliday shout-out 01:20 - The article: "Celibacy Taught Me I'm Too Clever to Find Love" 03:00 - Red flags and a punchable face 05:50 - Education ≠ intelligence 10:45 - "My girlfriends were hot but dumb" 🤢 14:00 - Being witty vs being an asshole 17:30 - Treating women as interchangeable roles 20:00 - Finding a wife vs building a partnership 23:30 - The illusion of intellectual superiority 26:30 - Why people don't text back 29:00 - What are you actually offering in a relationship? 33:00 - Cleverness as a defense mechanism 36:00 - Performance vs real conversation 40:00 - Attraction is socially conditioned 54:00 - Curiosity vs judgment 1:00:00 - You're a soggy saltine 1:14:00 - Conclusion and where to find us
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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| Why Every Body Benefits from Accessible Adult Toys w/ Step Tranovich | 20 May 2026 | 01:06:17 | |
There have been a lot of advancements in the adult toy industry over the last ten years, so why are toys for men and AMAB folks still stuck in the dark ages? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Step (they/them), founder of the gender-explosive adult toy company, Cute Little Fkers, to talk about affirming adult toys for queer folks, why toys for AMAB folks have so much room to grow, and how creating more accessible toys is a good thing for everyone.
You don't want to miss:
It doesn't matter what's in your pants, what size or shape of body you have, or how able-bodied you are; you deserve toys that feel good and affirm your experience and identity! If you're ready to kick boring toys, shame, and stigma to the curb, you'll love this episode.
Who is Step? Step (they/them) founded Cute Little Fkers in 2019 to create cute, accessible adult toys for trans and queer folks. Today, they have a range of toys that are inclusive, body-friendly, and downright adorable to help folks of all genders, sexualities, and identities explore pleasure without shame, dysphoria, or rigid gender expectations.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro & Welcome Step with Cute Little Fkers 01:35 - What is Cute Little Fkers 03:50 - Disability, career shifts, and building a queer sex toy company 04:40 - The first adult toy campaign on Kickstarter 09:26 - "Gender neutral" vs "gender explosive" 10:43 - 1st Reddit post: r/MTF 13:05 - Why AMAB toys are aesthetically nightmarish 15:00 - Masculinity, shame, and toys for men and AMAB folks 19:03 - Why trans-inclusive toy design matters 22:43 - Step's toy recommendations and toy design philosophy 28:16 - PSA: don't buy your toys from Wildflower 30:55 - Why AMAB-focused toys have fallen behind 32:52 - Furries are holding the internet together 35:00 - Why AMAB folks deserve more pleasure exploration 38:38 - Why men may struggle with receiving pleasure 44:17 - 2nd Reddit post: r/S**Toys 46:00 - Accessibility tools and adaptive toys 57:10 - Breaking the "design binary" in adult toys 01:00:04 - Surviving fascism through queer joy and pleasure 01:02:28 - Where to find Cute Little Fkers 01:05:48 - Where to Find Dr. Liz and Dr. Nerdlove
Connect with Step and Cute Little Fkers: 🌐 Website: https://cutelittlefuckers.com/ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cutelittlefkers/ 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CuteLittleFkers/
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| The Lie Incels and Looksmaxxers Are Trying to Sell You | 13 May 2026 | 01:27:13 | |
Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it's gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity. They dig into:
So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren't trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn't hurt, either). Time Stamps 00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context 04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it's everywhere) 05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing 13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community 16:48 - Entitlement to women's bodies and sexual access 20:28 - Broken generational promises 29:13 - Gen Z's obsession with gooning 32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the "Sexual Market Value" scale 36:16 - Softmaxxing vs hardmaxxing 37:17 - The harm steroids and meth can cause 41:25 - How Clavicular embodies the grift and attention economy 44:48 - The white supremacist origins of looksmaxxing ideals 48:10 - Why this is actually about male approval 54:13 - Sex for status rather than pleasure 58:38 - Why women aren't attracted to looksmaxxers 01:02:17 - Looks don't equate to sexual satisfaction 01:05:41 - The endless grind of looking "perfect" 01:12:28 - Why that mindset will leave you feeling like nothing is ever enough 01:19:45 - What these men actually want 01:22:14 - What these men could have instead 01:22:30 - Actual dating advice 01:25:59 - Where you can find Dr. Liz and Harris
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| Why Does Fashion Have Gender Anyway - W/ Rae Hill | 06 May 2026 | 01:35:59 | |
Is it still "support" if you're trying to change how your partner expresses and explores their gender? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell are joined by the talented Rae Hill, a nonbinary advocate, educator, designer, and founder of Origami Customs. Together, they read two Reddit posts about gender exploration, fashion, attraction, and what it actually means to support your partner during a transition…spoiler: it's not turning them into your personal makeover project. Highlights of the episode:
If you've ever felt weird in your clothes, frustrated by gendered fashion, or you know someone who could use you as their hype person, this one's for you. And as a reminder, don't be afraid to put on the damn skirt! Who is Rae Hill? Rae Hill (they/them) is a nonbinary advocate and educator. They founded Origami Customs, a community advocacy program and clothing line for folks of all genders, bodies, and abilities. Origami Customs creates custom gender-affirming garments and works with organizations worldwide to provide free gaffs, binders, and education to people facing access barriers. Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome to Do As We Say, Not As They Did 01:33 - Episode guest: Rae Hill, founder of Origami Customs 02:17 - What is Origami Customs 04:00 - Binders, gaffs, and gender affirming garments 05:13 - Binding and tucking safety 13:22 - Gender affirming care is for everyone 17:30 - Reddit post #1: "My partner is genderfluid, and their fashion sense is stressful" 24:32 - The pronoun choices are telling 26:09 - Attraction, transphobia, and respectability politics 30:53 - Let someone love this person properly 39:07 - The fear of losing relationships when you come out as trans 42:09 - Why does it matter what your partner wears? 48:07 - Hype your partner up! 56:31 - Update: they're still together, but the plot thickens 59:12 - Why trans community and mentorship matter 01:01:15 - Reddit Post #2: "Why are androgynous clothes so boring?" 01:02:01 - Why does androgynous usually mean thin, white, and male? 01:09:14 - Gendered clothing categories make no sense 01:15:36 - Limited gender expression hurts everyone 01:21:12 - Fascism and fashion 01:26:31 - Ethical queer fashion, clothing costs, and censorship 01:33:01 - Where to find Rae, Harris, and Liz
Connect with Rae and Origami Customs: https://www.instagram.com/origamicustoms/ https://www.youtube.com/@origamicustoms https://www.facebook.com/origamicustoms
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod | |||
| Is Heated Rivalry the Answer to the Male Loneliness Epidemic? | 29 Apr 2026 | 01:18:32 | |
Has a TV show ever completely changed how you think about relationships?
In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) are talking about Heated Rivalry, the breakout HBO series that's not only making waves with fans, but also with pro athletes who've found the courage to come out because of it. It's even encouraging men to actually talk to each other.
They break down the show from every angle: masculinity, emotional vulnerability, queer identity, and body image. And they explore how it flips the script on who gets to have feelings, and what those feelings are allowed to look like, especially in the hyper-masculine world of pro-hockey.
Highlights of the episode:
So lace up your skates, this episode might just change the way you think about masculinity, emotional connection, and what it really means to be vulnerable in your romantic and platonic relationships.
Time Stamps 00:00 We're talking about Heated Rivalry 02:08 Plot breakdown and why it became a surprise hit 05:00 "It wasn't for me" vs "I'm obsessed" 07:00 Shane and Ilya vs Scott and Kip 08:00 Exploring the male gaze through emotional subtlety 16:00 Body image, diet culture, and the horror of never eating carbs 21:00 A quick overview of the Heated Rivalry book series 26:00 Pro hockey's reaction to Heated Rivalry 31:00 The beauty of a queer story not rooted in trauma 33:00 Coming out scenes and corrective emotional experiences 40:00 Queer identity and being told "it's allowed" 41:00 Emotional connection and masculinity 48:00 Push-pull relationships and fear of intimacy 58:00 Passion projects vs corporate media 01:07:00 Representation that impacts real people 01:09:00 Favorite moments and emotional highlights 01:15:00 Other media about "man feelings" and the male loneliness epidemic 01:17:00 Outro
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| Dating App Green Flags, Red Flags, & Hell No's | 22 Apr 2026 | 01:40:11 | |
How detailed do you get in your dating app profile? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley kick things off with a look at r/AskWomenNoCensor, where a man asks women what they want. To no one's surprise, men were quick to jump in with their opinions. Harris and Dr. Liz discuss the merits of listening to the people you want to date (because, surprise, surprise, there is no female hivemind), personalizing your dating profile, and showing a genuine interest in people.
Highlights of the episode:
Get out a pen and paper and get ready to take notes. Dr. Liz and Harris are going to help you make sure your dating profile is ready to reel in people who are truly interested in you.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Introductions 00:50 - Ep 3 updates 06:30 - r/AskWomenNoCensor 09:00 - Read my profile, first! 15:00 - Communication styles 20:00 - You don't have to force a fit 23:00 - Are you actually interested in other people? 28:00 - Be truthful on your profile 35:00 - Let's talk about this AI-bio 40:00 - Tell us who you are! 56:00 - Don't date people you're ashamed to be seen with 01:06:00 - Your preferences might just be social conditioning 01:28:00 - The chicken smoothie 01:30:00 - Red flag, green flag 01:38:00 - Final thoughts
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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| The Secret Ingredient to Better Intimacy? | 24 Jun 2026 | 01:16:30 | |
Have you ever thought about how much saliva affects intimacy? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley are joined by Marcin (he/him), founder of Twinkle Tongue, a saliva enhancement product designed to support their body's natural saliva production for a more satisfying and fun bedroom experience. Together, they discuss two Reddit posts, one from a woman whose headgame is literally dry, and someone else who's really, really into spit and interested in hearing other people's perspectives. Plus, we're excited to announce our first-ever podcast giveaway! Thanks to Twinkle Tongue, listeners can enter for a chance to win free product and experience the magic for themselves. 🎁 Enter for a chance to win here: https://gleam.io/BOOPO/twinkle-tongue-giveaway Prepare yourself for:
This episode jumps into the delightful Reddit rabbit hole of intimacy and offers a chaotic look at something most people never think about until they have to. Who is Marcin, and what is Twinkle Tongue? Marcin founded Twinkle Tongue after his own experiences with dry mouth in college and Burning Man to naturally enhance saliva production in a portable, easy-to-use product.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and guest introduction 01:05 - Dry mouth and the search for a solution 03:04 - How Burning Man led to the beginning of Twinkle Tongue 05:20 - The science behind saliva optimization 10:30 - Common misconceptions about saliva enhancement 11:45 - Dr. Liz's experiences with Twinkle Tongue 14:24 - Dry mouth outside of the bedroom: medications, health, and quality of life 17:54 - Twinkle Tonue giveaway announcement 19:00 - Reddit post #1: "Dry mouth is ruining my game" 21:45 - Dry mouth, pleasure, and common "solutions" 25:40 - Medical treatments and dry mouth management 28:28 - Communication, assumptions, and feedback in the bedroom 31:40 - Silent partners and roommate stories 39:52 - What dry playtime actually feels like 44:18 - Reddit post #2: "Anyone else really into spit?" 45:12 - Why spit can be so erotic for folks 50:25 - The psychology of sharing saliva 53:20 - Kissing compatibility and making out 57:54 - Why saliva matters in intimacy 01:00:30 - Dry mouth, lubrication, and how our bodies respond 01:04:10 - Anxiety, communication, and confidence in the bedroom 01:06:25 - How to talk about intimacy without making it weird 01:10:30 - Giving and receiving feedback effectively in the bedroom 01:13:48 - Giveaway reminder and where to find Twinkle Tongue 01:15:25 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz
Connect with Twinkle Tonue https://www.instagram.com/twinkletongue/ https://www.tiktok.com/@twinkletongue https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100081513310480
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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| What Do Men Do When Women Don't "Need" Them? | 17 Jun 2026 | 01:16:58 | |
Does a woman earning more than a man in a relationship make you feel some type of way? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Dr. Liz Powell and Harris O'Malley jump right into The Guardian's article, "Single women are buying more houses. The men they are dating are not responding well," and talk about what happens when women are no longer forced into needing men for financial security, and why some men are responding to that reality very, very badly. Along the way, Harris and Liz explore the ways in which men are really struggling right now (and why women aren't the problem), how capitalism makes everything worse, and what it would actually take to become the kind of man who can celebrate his partner's success as he would his own.
Stay tuned for:
It doesn't matter whether you're buying a house, dating someone who owns one, or just happy you got the rent paid last month; we've got the research, the psychological insight, obscure movie references, and the relationship advice you need. And when you're done listening, check out this article on the Man Box and how to deconstruct harmful or limiting beliefs on masculinity: https://www.nextgenmen.ca/blog/deconstructing-the-man-box
Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome and introductions 00:47 - The Guardian: "Single women are buying more houses" 01:49 - Do men actually want independent women? 05:45 - How Fight Club prophesied the manosphere 07:28 - Why social change is always met with backlash 10:43 - The conservative shift of Gen Z men 14:47 - Are men falling behind, or are women just finally allowed to catch up? 16:28 - Capitalism is the problem 19:27 - Privilege and the ability to handle setbacks 23:49 - The divide between what men think women want vs what they actually want 24:41 - Bay Area real estate 29:22 - The lie of "I love independent women" 30:40 - Are your circumstances unattractive or your attitude toward your circumstances 37:25 - What is the modern paradigm of straight relationships? 39:28 - If being treated like a woman feels bad, what does that say? 41:12 - Research on breanwinner anxiety and men's stress 44:42 - Men do have problems they need to solve 47:42 - The "Man Box" 51:00 - The unending concern of men getting less "manly" 55:02 - The 4B movement 57:51 - Online dating sucks now 01:00:45 - Being wanted vs being needed 01:02:33 - Tradwives and sacrificing autonomy 01:05:37 - The power dynamic of moving into someone's established space 01:08:54 - It's okay to live separately 01:13:55 - You're not competing with other men, you're competing with Dungeon Crawler Carl 01:14:40 - Read more, go to therapy 01:15:23 - Where to find Dr. Liz and Harris Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod
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| How Misogyny Ruins Relationships | 10 Jun 2026 | 01:15:00 | |
We have a question for you: Do you actually want a partner, or are you just looking for someone to call your girlfriend? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell share two Reddit stories that reveal just how much the manosphere has poisoned modern dating, and the actual work it takes to build and maintain healthy, happy relationships. First up is a man who leaves his wife of 20 years for a 20-something, only to realize that putting zero work and effort into a relationship will only ever result in failure. Then, Dr. Liz and Harris tackle an absurd ultimatum: a boyfriend demands that his girlfriend laser all her body hair to "prove she'll sacrifice for the relationship." They're sure you can guess how much he's willing to sacrifice for her…
Highlights of the episode:
The bottom line is that healthy relationships take effort. And if you don't have good intentions, trust, and mutual respect, your relationship troubles will be sure to follow you.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Welcome to the show 00:40 - Weather, capitalism, and Bay Area rent 04:00 - First Reddit story: "My ex-wife predicted my future" 06:00 - Leaving a long marriage for a younger partner 09:00 - Why relationships stagnate 12:20 - Relationship maintenance and emotional labor 16:30 - Small acts of care to keep relationships strong 19:30 - Midlife crises and aging anxiety 24:20 - Why large age-gap relationships can struggle 27:00 - Dating dynamics in poly and kink communities 29:30 - The "no communication for a week" dating problem 31:00 - Accountability and the consequences of cheating 34:30 - Divorce, grief, and relief 35:30 - Do men still learn romance from culture? 37:00 - The manosphere, misogyny, and the male loneliness narrative 40:40 - Why male friendships and emotional vulnerability matter 44:20 - Second Reddit story: "Laser remove your body hair, or I'm out" 47:00 - Why ultimatums are a huge red flag 50:30 - Complicated feelings around body hair 58:40 - The breakup and escape plan 01:02:30 - Meltdowns and harassment 01:07:00 - Sacrifice vs equity in relationships 01:09:00 - Why couples need regular relationship check-ins 01:11:00 - Relationship skills everyone should learn 01:12:40 - Men: learn to cook to improve your dating life 01:13:45 - Where to find Dr. Liz and Harris 01:14:50 - Closing thoughts
#drnerdlove #drlizpowell #doaswesaypod #datingpodcast #relationshippodcast #datingredflags #reddit #redditstories #redditreadings #redditrelationshipadvice #redditstorytime #misogny Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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| Polyamory Won't Fix Your Relationship, but It Sure Will Expose It | 03 Jun 2026 | 02:00:04 | |
What happens when people open a relationship without unpacking everything monogamy taught them first? In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O'Malley and Dr. Liz Powell sit down with Kristen VanKlootwyk, psychotherapist and co-creator of The Non Monogamy Card Game, to talk about the communication that doesn't always happen in poly relationships…but really should. Then, they discuss two struggling Redditors: one man who's struggling to find dates when his wife isn't, and a woman who said yes to opening a relationship to make her husband happy, but now she's miserable. Highlights of the episode:
Polyamorous or monogamous, communication, emotional processing, and boundary setting are all necessary skills to build relationships that work for everyone involved. So open up your notes app and get ready for all the resources, gentle reminders, and nerdy metaphors you need to create relationships that truly bring you joy. Who is Kristen VanKlootwyk, and what is The Non Monogamy Card Game? Kristen VanKlootwyk is a psychotherapist who, along with their good friend Ayala, set out to create a resource to help friends and clients ask the right questions and engage with their partners to build strong poly relationships. After developing 150 foundational and developmental questions, they released The Non Monogamy Card Game as a versatile resource to help guide and facilitate meaningful conversations.
Time Stamps 00:00 - Introducing Dr. Liz, Harris, and Kristen 01:25 - Addressing the hate comments 03:57 - What is The Non Monogamy Card Game? 06:50 - Expectations of polyamory vs the reality 08:15 - Jealousy vs compersion and emotional processing 12:10 - Late-stage capitalism and changing relationship structures 13:38 - Neurodivergence and geek culture in non-traditional relationships 16:56 - Scheduling and emotional labor in polyamory 18:55 - The most important relationship questions people forget to ask 24:00 - The importance of communication in any relationship structure 26:51 - Cultural conditioning around monogamy 29:03 - Ageism, fatphobia, and stereotypes in poly communities 33:35 - Insecurity in opening relationships 39:14 - Reddit story #1: a man struggles to find dates when his wife doesn't 41:54 - Why women are hesitant to date men 45:12 - Connect with people in the non-monogamy community 47:20 - How to bring up that you're poly in a conversation 54:01 - Why do you want to try polyamory? 01:00:51 - Slow dating might help build better connections 01:06:11 - What is being poly about? 01:09:58 - Reddit story #2: my husband is poly, but I don't think I am 01:16:31 - Love has nothing to do with compatibility 01:19:04 - Attachment wounds, boundaries, and acceptance 01:26:00 - It's okay to grow apart 01:29:40 - How willing are you to accept reality? 01:51:44 - What is a boundary? 01:57:36 - Where to find The Non Monogamy Card Game 01:58:37 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz
Stay Connected 📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/ 💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social 🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod 📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod ⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod
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