Coming Up for Air — A Toolkit to Help with Your Loved One's Recovery from Addiction & Mental Illness – Details, episodes & analysis

It's easy to feel like you have to be perfect with CRAFT, perfect with your Loved One to be successful. But perfectionism gets in the way of connection. It can blind us, keep us from seeing our loved one fully.

Your acknowledging things not going the way you wanted, and taking responsibility for your behaviors that don’t work—is all part of fostering connection.

If your Loved One feels connection and love, that’s the beginning of treatment. And it means healing can begin in your relationship.

Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted loved one. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing training, guidance, support and resources for families ready to shift the dynamic with their loved one struggling with substance use.

With grace, compassion, humility and deep generosity, the Families Speak team shares openly with Coming Up for Air listeners. We can thus benefit from their experience, their process, and the work they do with group facilitator and psychotherapist, Kayla Solomon.

Visit alliesinrecovery.net to learn about our membership options, read our blog posts, meet our team, and much more!

What you don’t do – like get caught up in being a superhero, or telling your Loved One what they “should do” – can help your relationship emerge as a partnership.

If we develop good relationships, we have power. If we have the capacity to change, we have power. If we have awareness, we can make choices, and that gives us power, too. By accepting the invitation to change ourselves, we will have the greatest impact on those around us.

The Allies in Recovery program uses the CRAFT Method to teach the precious skills of pausing, reflecting and considering next moves. This in itself will greatly shift the dynamics between you and your Loved One struggling with addiction.

Our Families Speak series features a wonderful team of people navigating life with an addicted Loved One. They are all members of Allies in Recovery, an online platform providing proven, research-based training, guidance, support and resources for families with a Loved One struggling with substance use. 

Alongside psychotherapist Kayla Solomon, they openly share their experiences, insights, and the CRAFT-based tools that have helped them shift the dynamic at home. 

A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to:  ✔ Step-by-step training in CRAFT through our online platform  ✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through  ✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance  ✔ And much more! 

Visit ⁠Allies in Recovery⁠ today and start creating change in your family. 

Our hosts speak with Dr. Julie McCarthy, Associate Psychologist at McLean Hospital and Assistant Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School.

Dr. McCarthy has received funding from the National Institute of Mental Health, National Institute on Drug Abuse, Harvard Medical School, and philanthropic support. Her research aims to identify biopsychosocial treatment targets and develop and evaluate interventions for individuals and families, such as Community Reinforcement and Family Training for Early Psychosis and substance use. She is a CRAFT-certified therapist, supervisor, and trainer. Dr. McCarthy uses a multimodal telehealth approach to better understand and address barriers to care and promote recovery initiatives informed by people with lived experience through community-engaged research.

At Allies in Recovery, we train, guide, and support families using the CRAFT method—an evidence-based approach that helps families shift the dynamic with a loved one struggling with addiction. Self-care is a cornerstone of this process, but for many, it’s something we have to learn from scratch. 

A membership at Allies in Recovery gives you unlimited access to: 
✔ Step-by-step CRAFT training through our online learning platform 
✔ Support groups and a community that understands what you're going through 
✔ A Q&A blog with expert guidance 
✔ And much more! 

Visit Allies in Recovery to start your new path towards healing addiction in your family.  

Don't assume someone is lying or "in denial." At Allies, we believe  family members and loved ones are aware of what's happening -- even when they don't really want to know. We can see things as complicated -- or  ambivalent, a struggle between two orientations -- and know it takes time to move through a process.

Holidays. Winter. How do you deal? Start by shifting expectations about how things might go, and who might be there. Have conversations about “soft” expectations with your loved one in advance. Consider alternative plans, and take care of yourself. Stick with people who support you. How can you shift yourself, your belief system, and your behavior? Share duties, and consider an alcohol-free holiday, whether your loved one has any issue with it or not. 

If you find yourself swept away in the undertow of negative thinking about what might happen and how you might prevent it, the number-one tool to use is stepping back, noticing that you're doing it. Number two is deciding to shift it, starting with "no negative talk." And third is hitting the metaphorical "reset" button, finding something to soothe yourself. At first, it may not go well, but over time, you can get good at it.

In part 2 of 2, Jaclyn Brown talks about her personal journey in the wake of losing her brother. For her, advocacy and harm reduction work became a way to find her own voice and power after feeling guilty and helpless. To hear more of Jaclyn's story, be sure to check out our earlier interviews with her.

"The universe is trying to tell me something" -- Guest Jaclyn Brown returns to discuss her advocacy and harm reduction work in the wake of losing her brother. To hear more of Jaclyn's story, be sure to check out our earlier interviews with her.

You've got tools -- active listening, being curious and open -- so when your loved one expresses what they would like, or feels they can't continue as they are, you're ready. In those moments of "wishes and dips," you can gently move forward, listening to them and having resources ready, for now or whenever they're ready. It's a main tenet of CRAFT -- noticing the openings. It's also a practice -- something to stay with over time, so you have a chance to be received.

The rest of our interview with Jaclyn Brown, a podcast host and voice  for advocacy. In part 1, she discussed losing her brother to addiction.  In part 2, she discusses the aftermath, and what she does to create  space in her own life for her ongoing grief.