Coming Out Pod – Details, episodes & analysis

Lauren sits down with artist Boy Jr. (they/them) to talk relationships, gender, and their upcoming album "I Love Getting Dumped." Shortly after graduating, Boy Jr. (who describes their gender identity as "a non-binary unknowable entity who lives in your walls") was very interested in getting top surgery and starting testosterone. However, as they began to embark on their music career, they got the distinct sense that their success as an artist "hinged on being as desirable as possible to as large a pool of people as possible." As a result, they put gender on the backburner and leaned heavily into their femme identity. But if there's one thing we know about queerness, it's that you can't suppress it forever! Boy Jr. shares how much more authentic they feel now that they're "making decisions based on comfort instead of...desire to feel desirable." Plus, we discuss their deep foundational love for Joe Jonas, and the etiquette around giving your exes a li'l heads up when you're releasing breakup songs about them.

Follow Boy Jr. on Instagram at @boyjrofficial, on TikTok at @boyjr.69, and on Twitter at @BoyJrMusic. You can also find them as "Boy Jr." on YouTube, Patreon, Fiverr, and alllll the music platforms. Last but not least, check out their Linktree at linktr.ee/boyjr, and look for the release of "I Love Getting Dumped" at the end of October!

Tahitia Timmons' parents were hippies, and so Tahitia had been around queer people since childhood. But when she came out to her mother as a teenager, Tahitia was shocked - and angry - to be met with the response "Why would you choose to be gay when you're already Black and a woman?" Tahitia shares how it wasn't until years later when one of her own children came out to her that she finally gained a real understanding of (and compassion for) her mother's fear-based response. We have a fascinating conversation that runs the gamut from asexuality to the evolution of lesbian stereotypes to that first queer heartbreak that just GUTS you. Plus, Tahitia explains how her company, Conscious By Us, tackles DEI specifically from a health (especially mental health) and wellness perspective.

There are a ton of places where you can find Tahitia! Check out her website, consciousbyus.com, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Instagram at @consciousbyus. Also, check out all the folks she shouts out at the end of the episode!

Lauren has a genuinely hilarious conversation with comedian and podcaster Carmen Lagala, who spills all the details of her recent coming out story! Carmen grew up in Vermont, which is arguably one of the very best states to be a queer woman (hiking; leftists; liberal arts colleges; you get it). Carmen was so sure that she *wasn't* queer, however, that when a lesbian rumor spread during her freshman year of high school, she actually came out to her family as straight. Carmen, who now identifies as pansexual, describes having "teenage boy levels" of horniness as an adolescent, while simultaneously carrying a deep shame about sex in general, and masturbation in particular. She discusses how being in back-to-back relationships with men led to her feeling like her sexual attraction to women somehow didn't count, and how coming out on stage actually helped her get past that ("it legitimized it to me as soon as people laughed at what I was saying"). Also, Carmen shares her high school obsession with G.I. Jane, and Lauren tells a story about Michelle Rodriguez that she probably shouldn't!

Follow Carmen on Instagram at @carmstagrams and on Twitter at @CarmenLagala, and subscribe to her YouTube channel at youtube.com/@carmenlagalacomedy! Also check out her comedy OnlyFans, and listen to In Cahoots w/ Corey & Carmen wherever you get your podcasts!

A Functional Medicine Nurse Practitioner! A Certified Breathwork Meditation Guide! A self-identified "Deep Lez!" Victoria Albina (she/they; Feminist Wellness podcast) was born in Argentina, but by her early teens, her family had immigrated to the greatest state in the union (Rhode Island), and she was secretly attending a "tiny homo support group." Victoria shares how her queer Latina origins led her to the healing work she does with other marginalized folks, and how the #positivevibesonly movement is actually *detrimental* to our mental health. She also leads us in two simple somatic exercises in real time, and we introduce Nicole to the *life-changing* k.d. lang/Cindy Crawford Vanity Fair cover from 1993! Do we keep erroneously referring to it as a Rolling Stone cover from 1992? LOOK, WE WERE FLUSTERED, OKAY??

Victoria gives good gram at @victoriaalbinawellness, and you can listen to Feminist Wellness wherever you get your pods. Also, make sure you go to http://www.victoriaalbina.com/comingout to check out the FREE suite of meditations and exercises Victoria created just for our listeners!

It's officially Pride Month, and we're kicking things off with an UN-F$@#!NG-BELIEVABLE guest!! At thirteen years old, Jay Toole (known to all as Super Butch) came home with a flat top hair cut, and was promptly kicked out for good. Jay headed straight for the West Village, and before long, she was taken in by a community of homeless queer kids in Washington Square Park. What followed was over twenty-five years of living on the street, and some of the most amazing stories we have EVER heard on the podcast! It's impossible to do justice to this episode in a blurb, but among other things, Jay discusses the stints she did at the famed Women's House of Detention, and her experience AT THE STONEWALL RIOTS!!! Jay is an indispensable (and *hilarious*) resource for our community, and we cannot emphasize enough what an honor it was to talk to her. Happy Pride, everybody!

(TW: passing mentions of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)

You can honest-to-God contact Jay at the number she gave out in this episode! She's also on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Superbutch, and her website is https://www.jaytoole.com/.

Get ready to FEAST YOUR EARS on the Southern drawl of public speaker, advocate, and Lesflicks writer, Sarah-Cate! From living alone by age nine, to bouncing around group homes through her teens, to years spent unhoused as a young adult, Sarah-Cate's story is equal parts devastating and deeply inspiring. And despite living her entire life in very conservative parts of Texas, Sarah-Cate always, *always* made the choice to be out as queer. She explains how she went from life as a homeless young person with zero queer people in her orbit, to managing Lesflicks' Community Amplification Network, traveling the country to advocate for positive representation, and working with LGBTQ youth organizations. Also, Sarah-Cate identifies as aromantic and says she's "not a monogamous creature," and we get all the deets!

We've got a whole bunch of stuff for you this episode! Follow Sarah-Cate on Instagram at @s.c.peregrine, and at her *new* Twitter handle (not the one she gives in the ep!), @sarahcaitlin. Read her work at https://www.lesflicks.com/, and check out the Community Amplification Network she manages at https://audience.lesflicks.com/c/hello! Also, the Texas LGBTQ youth org that Sarah-Cate mentioned is https://www.lgbtqsaves.org/. They're located in Fort Worth, but also do things virtually! Lastly, check out Sarah-Cate's fan site, Fleet of Fandoms, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FleetofFandoms!

Not only is queer relationship coach Liana Griebsch an absolute joy, she is also one of the most SELF-AWARE people we've encountered! By the end of high school, straight-A-rule-follower Liana had already cleared the massive hurdles of accepting her gayness, and coming out to her Mexican Catholic mother. But a series of unsatisfying partnerships in college ultimately led her to a bold declaration: "I'm not entering into any relationship until I actually understand [how to do] this." And thus, a Queer Love and Relationship Coach was BORN! This episode is so valuable for both those in relationships *and* those struggling with being single. Nicole asks about limiting beliefs for ethically non-monogamous folks! Lauren asks about being alone! Liana gives us tools to help us be gentle with ourselves! It's an enlightening and uplifting conversation.

Follow Liana on Instagram at @lianagriebsch, and check out her incredibly comprehensive website at https://lianagriebsch.com/!

Strap in and strap-on for this VERY HORNY EPISODE!! Unflinchingly-authentic comedian and actor Abe Farrelly (Curb Your Enthusiasm; Netflix Is A Joke Fest) is back as our first ever post-transition guest! Abe discusses how his standup - which used to lean heavily on the butch lesbian jokes - was "a big tell" when it came to realizing he needed to transition, and how he sees comedy as an opportunity to educate audiences without lecturing them. He also shares the beautiful ways in which his parents have adjusted to his new identity, and how his 89-year-old, Catholic Mass-attending grandmother has become his biggest supporter! Plus, Abe reveals all of the surprising changes he has gone through since starting testosterone (spoiler alert: no tree stump is safe, and Rob Lowe is the only person who can make him cry).

Follow Abe on Instagram at @abfarrelly, and on TikTok at @abefarrelly!

Actor, writer, and VO artist Lisa Cordileone heard "no" so many times that it prompted her to create her own work, which led to the lesbian web series Easy Abby and the feature Freelancers Anonymous! But while Lisa's queer life away from home was thriving, the time she spent with her family back in North Carolina was radically different. Lisa gets candid about her lifelong journey with shame, and how it was impacted by the fact that her parents took a long time to come around. She also spills her plans to create "a Marvel Universe for women in STEM," and we go on a Queer Elder (TM) mini-rant about how WE HAVE TO KNOW OUR HISTORY!!!

Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisa.cordileone, and watch Easy Abby at https://watch.revry.tv/details/30205 and Freelancers Anonymous at https://www.freelancersanonymousmovie.com/!

We've had a number of asexual-identified guests on the podcast, but for the first time ever, we are thrilled to be speaking to an asexual couple! Courtney and Royce (who go by "The Ace Couple" online) are about to celebrate eight years of marriage. They share how they each came to understand their asexuality prior to meeting, and regale us with their UNFATHOMABLY cinematic love story! We also answer listener questions concerning the ace spectrum, and Courtney and Royce describe what intimacy - which is *not* synonymous with sex! - looks like for them. Plus, we dig into attraction vs. action, asexuality vs. no/low libido, graysexuality, and much more! It's a fascinating episode that speaks to *all* manner of relationships!

There are so many ways to keep up with Courtney and Royce online! Check out www.theacecouple.com for their podcast (including transcripts and closed captioned eps on YouTube!), and follow them on Twitter at @The_Ace_Couple. If you're part of the a-spec community and would like to participate in their "A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism" discord channel and/or Zoom book club, you can hear all of the details and get the links in the April 6th episode of their podcast (entitled "New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism"). Lastly, you can check out the interviews that Courtney conducted with disabled members of the a-spec community at https://aceweek.org/stories/why-i-m-founding-disabled-ace-day. And make sure you follow The Ace Couple on Twitter to find out how they'll be celebrating Disabled Ace Day in October of this year!