Breakup Recovery Podcast – Details, episodes & analysis

As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery.

Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy.

For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support system in the form of a therapist helped Martha. It was draining trying to project this image of the perfect wife, the perfect marriage. When she finally was honest with her self and became vulnerable and started telling friends, co-workers and family and not bottling all her emotions up inside of her she began the healing process.

Martha started to do things that she felt she couldn’t do when she was in the marriage, She travel to the places she wanted go to and started some of her own traditions. It took a few Christmas to get into the swing of things and the number one thing she had to do was to learn how to manage her expectations at this time of the year.

So often when relationships end and it comes to the holidays you can be down on yourself, saying things like why can’t I be happy, why can’t I have this togetherness, why can’t I have the perfect holiday. But if you take a step back and realise that maybe things are going to be a bit more subdued for a while and that’s ok. It’s a matter of having things that are simple and things that you love, if you expect that things are going to be small and simple, then your not going to be disappointed.

Martha believes you also have to be careful of your selective memories. Often at this time of the year you can cherry pick all the good and amazing things that happened when you were with your partner during the holiday season. You forget the rest of the story, some of the things that weren’t that good. So often you like to paint the picture that when you were with your partner everything was great and it probably wasn’t, so you have to be honest with yourself and don’t compare yourself and what is happening now with past experiences.

During this holiday season put yourself first for a change, do what you want, forget the expectations and traditions that have previously been part of your life. Now is the time to create your own traditions and do what you like and take care of yourself. This is an opportunity to change your outlook into more of a positive one. Instead of seeing this holiday season as a sad and traumatic time you have now been given this gift for you find out what you want to do and how you want to celebrate it. 

When you are in a relationship you tend to do things as a unit, what is good for the unit, what’s good for your partner, what’s good for the couple. But you have to be careful that you don’t loose yourself and identify when you are in a relationship. When you get out of a relationship you often don’t remember how to putt your self first and find what interests you. Self-care is so important to the recovery process and doing these things that make you happy don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. 

In life we have to have a balance with everything and the holidays are no different. If you find that the holidays are triggering things for you and the holidays are making it difficult for you to function and you feel that you are getting stuck. Martha encourages you to work with a therapist or join a divorce support group or single support group, that you can lean on and help you through this difficult process after your breakup.

There can be many days that will trigger your memories such as your wedding day. Martha offered a way to get through this particular day by thinking of something that happened during that day that you liked a good memory and incorporate that into that day each year. For Martha the good memory of her wedding day was the Greek restaurant that they went to and each year on her anniversary Martha either cooks herself an amazing Greek meal or goes out to a Greek restaurant. So now her anniversary is no longer a day where she mourns the ending of her marriage but a day where she gets to eat amazing Greek food.

You can connect with Martha @ survivingyoursplit.com and when you sign up for her newsletter you will get the Ultimate Divorce Goddess Recovery Guide.

Michelle Chalfant believes your limiting beliefs and the false stories that your tell yourself after your breakup can hold you back from recovering and finding happiness again. When you are going through a breakup you experience a lot of emotions such as shame, anger and sadness. Most people are not good at feeling their emotions, instead they use vices that distract them like drinking, going out or finding other things to do so they don’t feel and process their feelings.

Your mind can stay stuck in these false stories that you tell yourself; often these stories are incorrect and full of assumptions and living in the land of hope or the past. Some people do not know how to feel their emotions that are deep within us. When you work through and process these emotions and feelings that you are having, it brings clarity into your life and is important if you want to move forward after your breakup.

Michelle offered a number of tips and techniques to help people feel, acknowledge and process their feelings. The first one was to become aware that you are feeling something by completing some breathing exercises, such as deep and slow breathing and siting with the body. This technique begins the process of allowing these emotions to rise through the body. Visualizations and meditations also allows you to tune into the physical body and watch the feelings and emotions start to move through the body.

Journaling is another technique that Michelle shared in order to help people processing some of their emotions. Another technique is to have a friend witnesses what is going on with you, make sure they understand that they are not there to fix you. Which well-meaning family and friends want to do when they know you are in pain. The witnessing is a process for you to get everything off your chest and can be a healing experience.

EFT or emotional freedom technique is a method that helps emotions move through your body releasing it out of the meridians. Michelle had produced a number of helpful videos on her YouTube channel; she created a basic version that works with anything physical or emotional to help move you out of that place you are stuck in.

Michelle believes that we are on a mission of experience and this experience can be done through relationships. We come together with other people in order to learn and discover things; there is a purpose to every relationship. A relationship often finishes when you are finished learning from it, the relationship is done serving you and you have finished serving them.

Michelle hosts her own podcast called The Adults Chair. This podcast teaches people how to love themselves and live the highest and healthiest version of themselves. Based on a model of the Adult Chair it’s an easy to use spiritual and physiological techniques, tools, learnings and understandings broken down so anyone can understand them.

You can find guided meditations on Michelle’s website and YouTube channel. There is a particular meditation that is helpful when you end any type of relationship and its called ‘cutting of the chords’. Look for Michelle Chalfant on YouTube. You can also connect with Michelle @ https://michellechalfant.com and Twitter @MichChalfant

So often when you are experiencing a breakup, divorce or separation you feel like you are swimming in play dough, your arms are moving but you are going no where. In this episode Tanya Somerton explores the benefits of working with a life coach and stylist, about gaining clarity on problems and issues you may have found elusive, some of the stigmas surrounding divorce, her book ‘The jelly bean jar’, working with both men and women and much more.

Tanya Somerton is a divorce expert who together with her team of experts, work with clients to turn the trauma and pain of a divorce around and begin the journey to recovery.

There can be a stigma associated with people who have been through a divorce, that there is something wrong with them, that they are not worthy of happiness, your future does not look bright. Tanya believes divorce does not mean the end of your life but it’s the start of something that can be amazing and wonderful.

In Tanya’s book ‘The jelly Bean Jar’ Tanya reveals her blueprint for a successful divorce, from dealing with professionals to save you time and money, the questions you need to ask, and the tricks and tools to set yourself up for future success and independence.

Tanya also offered listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast her eBook ‘46 Mindset secrets to turn your life around and become wealthy’ for free. Use the coupon code ‘podcast’ when ordering in the cart process. More about Tanya and what she has to offer can be found @ http://tanyasomerton.com and Facebook: Tanya Somerton - Divorce Angel

In this episode I will be talking about finding love. And when is the best time to getting back out there and dating people again? Has there been a pattern of the personality types you have previously been attracted to, and I will explore some of the characteristics of what you do want in your next partner so that you have a clear intention of who you are looking for.  

I am going to share with you a number of strategies you may find useful so that you can find happiness after your breakup. I think just about everyone’s goal is to find happiness. And every body’s path to happiness is different. Some times it is hard to see the difference between Inner peace and happiness, I believe on some level they are intertwined.

In this episode Staying Well I will talk about the effects on your mind and body if you allow yourself to become unhealthy, eat fast foods, not partaking in physical activities and the repercussions that has on your overall health and vitality. If you are feeling lethargic and have low energy levels, trouble sleeping, depression, anxiety and disease. I will give you some ideas and strategies you can put into action to help you feel better during this difficult time after your breakup.

Sally married her childhood sweetheart. She thought she had the perfect life, beautiful children a husband and living in idyllic surroundings. But it wasn’t until her mother died that Sally’s whole world began to fall apart. A phone call from the police started a chain reaction that saw the end of her marriage and her family torn apart. Listen to how Sally learnt how to manage and find love again.

I will share tips and ideas for you about building rapport when meeting people. Whether you feel anxious when you go out or unsure how to reach out to others I aim to give you ideas that will help you to feel more comfortable in social settings. You might think that you have excellent skills in this area, or that you feel comfortable meeting people for the first time, but after listening to this episode you might pick up a new skill that could be of use to you.

Breakup’s can leave you feeling lonely and I will talk about the impact this has on your every day life. The importance of accepting that you are having these feelings, and if you do nothing to change or take measures to combat the problem, it can escalate into depression and anxiety. I will share some practical loneliness buster strategies and techniques you might like to consider so that you can get pass the feeling of loneliness.

Did you think it was possible to be thankful for your husband’s affair?

Shay had a whirlwind courtship and married soon after meeting her future husband. It wasn’t until latter on in the marriage that her husband’s demons raised their ugly head. Shay endured alcoholism, volatile temper and a short fuse during her relationship. Shay knew she was trapped in a loveless marriage and his affair sealed the end of their union, for which she was grateful. Listen to how Shay built up her self-esteem, how she put strategies in place to feel worthy again and begin her journey of recovery.