As the holiday season is fast approaching anyone who experiencing a breakup, separation or a divorce are possibly dreading this time of the year. Martha offers some practical tips and ideas to get you through not only the holiday season but also any other time of the year that can bring an uprising of emotions. This advice will help you to not only handle your reactions but help in your recovery.

Martha’s own marriage ended at the beginning of the holiday season. The hardest part of the breakup was that her ex-husband was not moving out of their apartment for some time. They had decided they would be civil and kind to each other and try and do Christmas as a coupe. This was the worst Christmas, as they were trying to work through the sadness and heartbreak, when this time of the year was supposed to be full of happiness, family and joy.

For a couple of Christmas after that Martha stayed in her apartment, as this time bought back all the feelings of pain of the ending of the marriage. Finding a good support system in the form of a therapist helped Martha. It was draining trying to project this image of the perfect wife, the perfect marriage. When she finally was honest with her self and became vulnerable and started telling friends, co-workers and family and not bottling all her emotions up inside of her she began the healing process.

Martha started to do things that she felt she couldn’t do when she was in the marriage, She travel to the places she wanted go to and started some of her own traditions. It took a few Christmas to get into the swing of things and the number one thing she had to do was to learn how to manage her expectations at this time of the year.

So often when relationships end and it comes to the holidays you can be down on yourself, saying things like why can’t I be happy, why can’t I have this togetherness, why can’t I have the perfect holiday. But if you take a step back and realise that maybe things are going to be a bit more subdued for a while and that’s ok. It’s a matter of having things that are simple and things that you love, if you expect that things are going to be small and simple, then your not going to be disappointed.

Martha believes you also have to be careful of your selective memories. Often at this time of the year you can cherry pick all the good and amazing things that happened when you were with your partner during the holiday season. You forget the rest of the story, some of the things that weren’t that good. So often you like to paint the picture that when you were with your partner everything was great and it probably wasn’t, so you have to be honest with yourself and don’t compare yourself and what is happening now with past experiences.

During this holiday season put yourself first for a change, do what you want, forget the expectations and traditions that have previously been part of your life. Now is the time to create your own traditions and do what you like and take care of yourself. This is an opportunity to change your outlook into more of a positive one. Instead of seeing this holiday season as a sad and traumatic time you have now been given this gift for you find out what you want to do and how you want to celebrate it. 

When you are in a relationship you tend to do things as a unit, what is good for the unit, what’s good for your partner, what’s good for the couple. But you have to be careful that you don’t loose yourself and identify when you are in a relationship. When you get out of a relationship you often don’t remember how to putt your self first and find what interests you. Self-care is so important to the recovery process and doing these things that make you happy don’t have to be expensive or elaborate. 

In life we have to have a balance with everything and the holidays are no different. If you find that the holidays are triggering things for you and the holidays are making it difficult for you to function and you feel that you are getting stuck. Martha encourages you to work with a therapist or join a divorce support group or single support group, that you can lean on and help you through this difficult process after your breakup.

There can be many days that will trigger your memories such as your wedding day. Martha offered a way to get through this particular day by thinking of something that happened during that day that you liked a good memory and incorporate that into that day each year. For Martha the good memory of her wedding day was the Greek restaurant that they went to and each year on her anniversary Martha either cooks herself an amazing Greek meal or goes out to a Greek restaurant. So now her anniversary is no longer a day where she mourns the ending of her marriage but a day where she gets to eat amazing Greek food.

You can connect with Martha @ survivingyoursplit.com and when you sign up for her newsletter you will get the Ultimate Divorce Goddess Recovery Guide.

Michelle Chalfant believes your limiting beliefs and the false stories that your tell yourself after your breakup can hold you back from recovering and finding happiness again. When you are going through a breakup you experience a lot of emotions such as shame, anger and sadness. Most people are not good at feeling their emotions, instead they use vices that distract them like drinking, going out or finding other things to do so they don’t feel and process their feelings.

Your mind can stay stuck in these false stories that you tell yourself; often these stories are incorrect and full of assumptions and living in the land of hope or the past. Some people do not know how to feel their emotions that are deep within us. When you work through and process these emotions and feelings that you are having, it brings clarity into your life and is important if you want to move forward after your breakup.

Michelle offered a number of tips and techniques to help people feel, acknowledge and process their feelings. The first one was to become aware that you are feeling something by completing some breathing exercises, such as deep and slow breathing and siting with the body. This technique begins the process of allowing these emotions to rise through the body. Visualizations and meditations also allows you to tune into the physical body and watch the feelings and emotions start to move through the body.

Journaling is another technique that Michelle shared in order to help people processing some of their emotions. Another technique is to have a friend witnesses what is going on with you, make sure they understand that they are not there to fix you. Which well-meaning family and friends want to do when they know you are in pain. The witnessing is a process for you to get everything off your chest and can be a healing experience.

EFT or emotional freedom technique is a method that helps emotions move through your body releasing it out of the meridians. Michelle had produced a number of helpful videos on her YouTube channel; she created a basic version that works with anything physical or emotional to help move you out of that place you are stuck in.

Michelle believes that we are on a mission of experience and this experience can be done through relationships. We come together with other people in order to learn and discover things; there is a purpose to every relationship. A relationship often finishes when you are finished learning from it, the relationship is done serving you and you have finished serving them.

Michelle hosts her own podcast called The Adults Chair. This podcast teaches people how to love themselves and live the highest and healthiest version of themselves. Based on a model of the Adult Chair it’s an easy to use spiritual and physiological techniques, tools, learnings and understandings broken down so anyone can understand them.

You can find guided meditations on Michelle’s website and YouTube channel. There is a particular meditation that is helpful when you end any type of relationship and its called ‘cutting of the chords’. Look for Michelle Chalfant on YouTube. You can also connect with Michelle @ https://michellechalfant.com and Twitter @MichChalfant

So often when you are experiencing a breakup, divorce or separation you feel like you are swimming in play dough, your arms are moving but you are going no where. In this episode Tanya Somerton explores the benefits of working with a life coach and stylist, about gaining clarity on problems and issues you may have found elusive, some of the stigmas surrounding divorce, her book ‘The jelly bean jar’, working with both men and women and much more.

Tanya Somerton is a divorce expert who together with her team of experts, work with clients to turn the trauma and pain of a divorce around and begin the journey to recovery.

There can be a stigma associated with people who have been through a divorce, that there is something wrong with them, that they are not worthy of happiness, your future does not look bright. Tanya believes divorce does not mean the end of your life but it’s the start of something that can be amazing and wonderful.

In Tanya’s book ‘The jelly Bean Jar’ Tanya reveals her blueprint for a successful divorce, from dealing with professionals to save you time and money, the questions you need to ask, and the tricks and tools to set yourself up for future success and independence.

Tanya also offered listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast her eBook ‘46 Mindset secrets to turn your life around and become wealthy’ for free. Use the coupon code ‘podcast’ when ordering in the cart process. More about Tanya and what she has to offer can be found @ http://tanyasomerton.com and Facebook: Tanya Somerton - Divorce Angel

In this episode I will be talking about finding love. And when is the best time to getting back out there and dating people again? Has there been a pattern of the personality types you have previously been attracted to, and I will explore some of the characteristics of what you do want in your next partner so that you have a clear intention of who you are looking for.  

I am going to share with you a number of strategies you may find useful so that you can find happiness after your breakup. I think just about everyone’s goal is to find happiness. And every body’s path to happiness is different. Some times it is hard to see the difference between Inner peace and happiness, I believe on some level they are intertwined.

In this episode Staying Well I will talk about the effects on your mind and body if you allow yourself to become unhealthy, eat fast foods, not partaking in physical activities and the repercussions that has on your overall health and vitality. If you are feeling lethargic and have low energy levels, trouble sleeping, depression, anxiety and disease. I will give you some ideas and strategies you can put into action to help you feel better during this difficult time after your breakup.

Sally married her childhood sweetheart. She thought she had the perfect life, beautiful children a husband and living in idyllic surroundings. But it wasn’t until her mother died that Sally’s whole world began to fall apart. A phone call from the police started a chain reaction that saw the end of her marriage and her family torn apart. Listen to how Sally learnt how to manage and find love again.

I will share tips and ideas for you about building rapport when meeting people. Whether you feel anxious when you go out or unsure how to reach out to others I aim to give you ideas that will help you to feel more comfortable in social settings. You might think that you have excellent skills in this area, or that you feel comfortable meeting people for the first time, but after listening to this episode you might pick up a new skill that could be of use to you.

Breakup’s can leave you feeling lonely and I will talk about the impact this has on your every day life. The importance of accepting that you are having these feelings, and if you do nothing to change or take measures to combat the problem, it can escalate into depression and anxiety. I will share some practical loneliness buster strategies and techniques you might like to consider so that you can get pass the feeling of loneliness.

Did you think it was possible to be thankful for your husband’s affair?

Shay had a whirlwind courtship and married soon after meeting her future husband. It wasn’t until latter on in the marriage that her husband’s demons raised their ugly head. Shay endured alcoholism, volatile temper and a short fuse during her relationship. Shay knew she was trapped in a loveless marriage and his affair sealed the end of their union, for which she was grateful. Listen to how Shay built up her self-esteem, how she put strategies in place to feel worthy again and begin her journey of recovery.

How to discover calmness especially when you are experiencing some form of anxiety. Anxiety is close to my heart as I have suffered from it twice now. I will talk about the symptoms so you can get a clear picture of what anxiety looks like and then I will give you some of the strategies that I have used and my clients have used so hopefully you might find them helpful as well.

How to discover calmness especially when you are experiencing some form of anxiety. Anxiety is close to my heart as I have suffered from it twice now. I will talk about the symptoms so you can get a clear picture of what anxiety looks like and then I will give you some of the strategies that I have used and my clients have used so hopefully you might find them helpful as well.

What Expert Help you might need so that you can get through your breakup, separation or divorce. I am going to talk about the different types of help that are available including some of their roles, how to choose the right one for you and what questions you should ask when trying to decide if you are going to engage their services. I also give you a heads up on what information they might need so they can work at getting the best outcome for you.

Tanya Somerton is a divorce specialist who together with her army of angles, navigate the divorce process to ensure the best possible outcome and framing the future success for clients that are going through a divorce.

After experiencing the many challenges whilst going through her own divorce Tanya decided that the process should be more streamlined. She has developed a one-stop divorce shop where people only have to tell their story once and Tanya engages the necessary experts to work out the best strategy for her clients.

Because divorce is so much more than going to a lawyer, and security both emotionally and financially is a priority for her clients Tanya works on a holistic approach and can look at the situation from a non-judgmental viewpoint and can advise a course of action based on the evidence.

Tanya will look at a person’s portfolio of assets and together with a financial advisor and accountant will work out what is best for her client long term taking into account their goals for their future.

Tanya also offered listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast her eBook ‘46 Mindset secrets to turn your life around and become wealthy’ for free. Use the coupon code ‘podcast’ when ordering in the cart process. More about Tanya and what she has to offer can be found @ http://tanyasomerton.com and Facebook: Tanya Somerton - Divorce Angel

Perfect Support, how having Perfect Support in your life can make a huge difference in helping you to move forward after your breakup. Going through a breakup can be a very confusing and lonely time, and having some one who you can talk to, some one who is not judging you can be a great comfort.

The Blame Game, how blaming others, especially if you are blaming your ex-partner all the time about your relationship breakdown. How this can turn you into a negative person, and when you stay in this negativity it puts you in victim mode. Playing the victim affects you on a physical and mental level. I will be giving you some ideas on how you can reframe these unhelpful and damaging thoughts and replace them for more beneficial ones so you can start your journey of recovery after your breakup.

Who, what and why, in this very first episode I am going let you know who I am, what I do, why I do what I am doing and what I offer as a Breakup Recovery Mentor. At the end of this episode I will let you know what Breakup Recovery Podcasts will be all about, how often you can listen to them and their duration.

I want to make sure I am giving you valuable information that is honest and straightforward. I want to give you key skills, strategies and tools that you can take away and implement them in your lives now and start to make a difference in the way you think and act now. I am committed to assisting you when you are going through your breakup, when you are feeling lost and alone and don’t know where to turn. I want you to regain your self-confidence, I want you to rebuild your life through empowering and inspiring changes to enrich your life for the better.

This is Breakup Recovery’s 100th episode where I asked listeners to send in the questions that they wanted me to cover in this special episode. I shared my insights, tips and strategies on a number of topics ranging from ‘how do you stop loving some one so much?’, ‘how do I move on’, ‘should I follow them on social media’ and ‘the importance of you’.

There are so many emotions that are going through your body after a breakup. You are possibly stuck and don’t know how to move forward, that is why you are listening to this podcast or reading articles, blogs and books to help you to recover and start to feel normal again. The hurt you are feeling can be so intense, you wonder if you will ever mend your broken heart and be happy again.

I don’t think it is that easy to stop loving some one, especially if you have spent a lot of time with this person. Or if you have been blindsided by the breakup, you never saw it coming. It can be very difficult to one-day stop loving the person you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with.

This question ‘how do I move on’ is universally asked by those that are going through a breakup. So don’t feel that you are the only person questioning yourself about how can you move on after your relationship ends. There can be a number of reasons that you feel that you are not moving on or that you are not moving on the way you would like to. In this episode I share some of the top reasons that might be holding you back from moving forward and enjoying life again.

If you are checking their instagram page, snap chat, their twitter account, their face book status, every hour, I want you to ask yourself this question, ‘why are you doing this?’. Are you looking for a sign that they are missing you, that their life is a mess, they are so unhappy and can’t live with out you? But is this a reality, have you ever seen someone’s post saying they are feeling crappy, they are a mess emotionally and they just aren’t coping? How is that going to make you feel when you see them out and about with their friends?

After enduring a lengthy, stressful and difficult divorce from her sociopath husband, Stacy Brookman enrolled in a memoir class that changed her life forever. Stacy found when writing her crazy stories down on a piece of paper, she was able to gain clarity about her situation and work out the necessary steps she had to take in order to recover and move on from her breakup.

Writing out your stories after a traumatic and harrowing life situation, can give you insights into what has happened and the courage to move forward. Stacy believes that life storytelling is an incredibly powerful tool for personal transformation. Its not always about the gramma and punctuation, its about pulling the wool from over your eyes, seeing things in black and white so you can do something about your situation.  

‘Real life resilience’ is Stacy’s podcast and its mission is to tell stories of recovery from life’s most difficult trauma, and by example help people with tough life situations discover how to tell their own stories.

You can find out more about Stacy, read her blogs and listen to her podcast @ www.stacybrookman.com

Jill Sockwell and her co-author Suzanne Riss were both divorced and looking for advice that was uplifting, and inspiring. Answers that were realistic and true to life that they themselves could put into place so they could navigate this challenging process called divorce. They couldn’t find this advice or the resources to match their requirements, so they wrote their book ‘The Optimist’s Guide To Divorce’, which is a ‘how-to’ for people going through a divorce.

Jill describes the divorce process as a marathon not a sprint and there can be a variety of solutions for the diverse challenges that divorce presents. Attitude is everything and it can be so easy to get caught up in the negatives, however if you try and look on the bright side, look for the best in this difficult situation then the process can be a little easier to deal with.

Breaking up can be an isolating experience initially so Jill and Suzanne started their Maplewood Divorce club in March 2103 so that women could come together and support and help each other through the challenging and testing process.

One tip that Jill would offer women going through a divorce is that it’s going to get better and look for ways to grown and change for the better from this difficult experience, some days are going to be better than others. Choose to look for the positives and one way to do this is to start a gratitude journal, even when you are not feeling amazing or ok, looking back over what you have written, all the good that is happening in your life will lift your mood

You can purchase the book ‘The Optimist’s Guide To Divorce’ @ www.optimistsguidetodivorce.com and follow on Facebook @optimistsguidetodivorce

Orion went through her own dark moments in life after her breakup from a very abuse partner. She was in a state of depression that lasted years until she found her own way to mend her heart and regain her strength. One of the strategies Orion shared in this podcast was mirror work. A very powerful approach that boosts your self-confidence and increases the love for yourself.

Orion also explored some of the mistakes that single women can make when looking for love again, as well as the importants of self-care and reconnecting to you feminine side. Orion suggested when reconnecting to your spiritual side it is essential to do so from a place of love rather than from a place of fear.

You can connect with Orion Talmay and find about more of what she has to offer and download her eBook ‘How to become a love magnet’ @ orionsmethod.com

Stephanie Dalfonzo offers some practical exercises that can quickly break up and change habits that are causing you to feel overwhelmed, stressed and anxious. Using these simple yet effective strategies and techniques can help bring you out of depression and into the present moment. Doing things differently does not have to be complicated, long or big, they just have to be of value. Like the restorative yoga pose of legs up the wall, even thought it’s a passive pose, combine it with controlled breathing helps lower anxiety and stress and calms the body.

In this episode Stephanie shares real stories and antidotes and guides you through techniques that will release tension and help you to feel better both physically and emotionally. When you are in absolute overwhelm it can be difficult to change your habits but Stephanie has broken these habits into small bite size achievable routines. Stephanie’s website is stephaniedalfonzo.com

In times of crisis such as a breakup you need to find techniques and ways to deal with your emotions, if you don’t it is very easy to fall deeper into despair. Its not easy to move on when you are experiencing grief, stress and anxiety. In this episode Stephanie Dalfonzo explores the three P’s of pessimism that will keep you in a negative state of mind if you don’t work on making the simple shifts in your thought process to create lasting changes for the better.

When you are going through a breakup it can be difficult to find gratitude, however if you end your day thinking of the things that you are grateful for then sleep may come a little easier for you. If you spend your time imagining the worst and focusing on what you don’t want and what might happen, then that is what will happen, you are attracting more negativity into your life. If you make small changes in your life, stopping the cycle of negativity you will move forward. You can find out more about Stephanie @ stephaniedalfonzo.com and her 4 coping skills link @ stephaniedalfonzo.com/4-coping-skills/

Accepting that your relationship is over and making the necessary adjustments to your life can be difficult. It’s human nature to resist change and to cling to comfort. However the more you resist the breakup, the harder it will be to heal and move on and the easier it will be to fall into depression and anxiety. Learning how to accept a breakup you didn’t want or expect doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to being single or unhappy for the rest of your life. In this episode I offer some tips and ideas for you to take action and reclaim your identity so you can experience a bright future, heal and move on after your breakup.

Karen Covy is a divorce advisor, mediator, lawyer and divorce coach and her number one tip for people who are going through a divorce is to understand and educate yourself on what you are facing at the front end of your breakup so you will make better decisions during the process. In this episode Karen also shares the top three fears people experience when they are going through their breakups. Fear of not having enough money, fear of how the breakup will affect the children and fear that they will be alone for the rest of their lives. Karen also explores why you should set a goal or an outcome for what you want at the end the breakup process so you can better negotiate and accomplish what you set out to achieve by focusing on what is important to you. Karen’s website is

https://karencovy.com

In this week’s episode I talk with Jenn Burton on all things relating to dating again after a breakup. Jenn shares some important tips on dating so it can be done your way and on your terms so the experience can be fun and doesn’t have to filled with dread. We talk about how to know when you are ready to date again, how to begin this process, what preparations you need to complete before you start and amongst other things what your expectations should realistically be when dating a man.

Jenn’s own marriage broke up on her third year anniversary, after years of marriage counseling. Jenn came to the realization that her marriage had to be more than what she was experiencing. Love had to be more than all the trials and tribulations of a marriage. Her marriage had become all about making it all about her husband’s wants, needs and desires.

The day Jenn ended her marriage she was on her knees sobbing, praying and asking for a sign that would tell her there was more to love and life and three days latter a random request from a man who asked he out, opened her eyes that may be there was a lot more to love than she had thought.

Instead of doing what most people do after a breakup, spending time reflecting on life and grieving the ending of a relationship. Jenn felt she had done enough reflecting and want to go back into the dating world straight away. She didn’t want to be the one sitting there watching her ex-husband move on. Jenn listened to her heart and started dating straight away.

It’s very individual to know when you know you are ready to date again after a breakup. So some the relationship has been over for some time, and it’s a matter of making it official. And the preparation that you need to do before you go back into the dating scene depends on individual circumstances. For some when the relationship ends that you didn’t realise was coming, preparation is to take some time to reflect and take care of yourself. If you have decided to move forward taking self-care is the best preparation you can do.

Dating can be fun. You can feel like a teenage girl again, waiting for your first kiss, you can feel anticipation, butterflies, excitement and the magic feels so good.

Jenn has had some dating disasters in the beginning until she changed her thinking process. She would meet a man and line every thing up in her head, she would see him as her future husband before date three. Jenn would jump straight into the idea that this man would forever and never really let herself enjoy the dating process.

That’s why Jenn believes that self care and making sure your heart is not too fragile when you decide to date again is important because you can step into obsession or love sickness very easily if you start putting all your emotions and heart into something that you haven’t built any stamina for yet.

Jenn teaches women how to date multiple men at the same time, instead of giving your heart to one man right away until be has stepped up and asked for a commitment, because until they have asked for a exclusive relationship they will keep their options open.

Women are wired differently and are taught that once a man gives us any type of attention then he has our heart and we should focus all of our attention on him and shut down all our other options otherwise he will not want us. Men until they have decided that you are the one for them can’t handle your undivided romantic attention.

If you focus all your attention on them before they have decided that they want to be with you exclusively, your energy works in a way that it pushes them away, they are not that comfortable receiving that attention until they have decided that you are some one they would like to spend a considerable amount of time with.

Women can be guilty of acting a little weirdly once they give their attention to a man if he hasn’t whole-heartedly committed to them. They start to make it all about him, what’s his schedule, what is his likes, how can they hang out with his friends and we never really invite him on our journey.

There is no best way to connect with some one, however a great profile for on line dating, with well thought out good pictures is a good start. Women can meet a man anywhere, on line dating is one avenue to explore yourself romantically, and set firm boundaries on how you take care of your self and how much fun you have with men in general. It’s important to come from a place of wanting to have more fun than you have ever had before.

Jenn co-hosts a podcast called Single Smart Female, where they take questions from single females around the world about dating. The podcast attempts to shake up the statues quo for women and dating and bring something real and fun to it.

Whilst Jenn only works with women her tips for the male listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast would be: Men can be very confused then it comes to how to treat women at times because different women want to be treated in different ways. But if men continue to be willing to ask the questions and keep that open dialogue because women change their minds and evolve.

Jenn has a special offer for the listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast and if you go to this link: www.jennburton.com/breakuprecovery you will receive a free class on dating boundaries that makes you irresistible and unforgettable.

Julia’s number one tip for women who have broken up with their partners is to join a single parent or a single mum’s group. These groups will give you insights and help and support you through and beyond your breakup. Julia’s podcast is another great resource for single parents and was created to assist newly single mothers in all things they need to know about been single. Subjects range from sex, dating and relationships, helping your children through the separation, interviews with other inspirational single mums and why been a single mum is amazing. Find out more about Julia, her blog and her podcast @ http://www.singlemothersurvivalguide.com

Men often pretend that everything is ok when they are going through a breakup. They don’t want others to know that they are in fact hurting and unhappy and their life is a misery. Their world is falling apart and the negative and unhelpful story they are telling themselves will only keep them from moving forward. Otto explains that if you can sit with your emotions and feel them, don’t push them away of bury them they will pass. In time you will realise that the healing has begun, you are more present in conversations, you want to join your friends in activities, you start to smile more and want more from life. You can connect with Otto @ www.susieandotto.com

Living through a breakup can be stressful, it can be daunting and it can be emotionally draining. Your thoughts are overwhelming as you struggle to think of positives in your life. So how do you pick yourself up after your breakup, how do you dig yourself out of the big dark hole you find yourself in? How can you change the negative story you keep telling yourself? In this episode I offer suggestion to do just that, to change the way you think and act, to bring happiness and joy back in your life. You can either stay in the depths of despair or you can climb back out and reclaim the life you want and deserve.

A breakup doesn’t mean the end of parenting obligations and as much as co-parenting is complex it is a process that can be done so long as the channels of communication are kept open, a certain level of respect is observed and the focus of attention is on the well being of the children. One of the tools Rosalind mentioned is an on line scheduling tool that eliminates a lot of the conflict between parents as it details the children’s activities, appointments and schedules find out more @ https://moietyapp.com More tools, eBooks and courses that Rosalind offers can be found @ http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

How do you go from being a hot mess to creating the life your want after your breakup? In her books, her blog and her program Honoree provides the formula for victory for single moms and dads so that they can find success, find new love, cook healthy meals and find a general sense of happiness. Self-acceptance and self love is the first step in attracting the life for yourself and your children. Find more about the Single Moms & Dads books @ http://honoreecorder.com/single-moms/

There are so many challenges associated with dealing with the grief and loss you are feeling after your breakup. Not only do you have to navigate this process but often you have to help and support your children through this difficult time. Ali explores some ideas and strategies to not only help you but others that may be having difficulty accepting the changes that are occurring. We also discussed how keeping the children out of the conflict would help them to manage the major adjustments. The resources Ali mentioned were No One’s The Bitch, The I Have Series and Skirts At War. Find out more about Ali Wilks @ www.aliwilks.com

The ending of a relationship can be traumatizing and comes with negotiations and compromises as you navigate the separation process. In this episode I explore some strategies that will help ease this hurt in order for you to have a more painless breakup. So if your emotions are all over the place and you are feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious listen to this podcast so you can gain some strategies and ideas so that you can feel that you can cope and handle anything that comes your way with confidence and support. Not all breakups have to be as hard and difficult if you can learn to change the way you think and react to situations that come before you, you may find that your breakup is a lot more pain free then you thought it was going to be.

In this episode I talk with CJ Grace about how to get over the shock of infidelity a subject that CJ knows all to well and has written a book and many articles on this very subject. CJ believes that the best revenge is to get past wanting revenge and using the shock of infidelity to trigger positive transformation in your life. CJ’s book ‘Adulterer’s wife how to thrive whether you stay or not’ and her blog can be found at her web site www.adultererswife.com

Breaking up can rip open old wounds from childhood and its not until you release some of those false beliefs and perceptions that you can move forward with happiness. Rene shares some techniques she had successful used to stop that inner voice validating why you should stay in a place of hurt and anger, stop that merry go round and reframe those negative false beliefs to unsure a joyful life. Find out more about Rene Brent @ PracticeHappyNow.com

Ending a relationship on any terms can be painful, especially when you’ve invested a lot of time and emotional energy into it. In this episode I explore some of the reasons why you can’t be friends with your ex due to circumstances and events that have happened. I also look at why it would be beneficial for you to at least have a friendly relationship because of certain situations that are unavoidable and children that will tie you to that person for a very long time. I talk about how important strong communication and setting mutually agreed boundaries would help to maintain the friendship.

There can be a number of emotions that are stopping you from moving on after your breakup, separation or divorce. In this episode I am going to explore two reasons why you are not finding happiness in your life. I am going to be talking about the impact that grief and self-sabotage can have on your emotions and why not dealing with these two things can hold you back from moving forward and finding happiness again. 

Grief is an emotion that is not only associated with a relationship breakup up, but with any major loss that occurs in your life, some one or some thing that you care for, a death of a loved one, loss of a pet, the loss of a job or a loss of important possessions, and what I will be talking about in this episode, a loss of a relationship and a way of life.

When we lose someone, it can take time to adjust and learn to live life without that person. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve and each person will find a different way to deal with and work through his or her own grief. The time frame in which you will work through your grief will differ depending on so many situations. 

So what I am trying to say here is that every body is different and what works for one person may not necessarily work for you, the time it takes will vary so don’t compare yourself with some one else as their circumstances, situation and so many other variables makes it very difficult to compare

It is important to express how you are feeling to a trusted friend or family member or professional rather than bottling them up inside. You never know when someone else’s experience or perspective can give you information that you need and allows you to ease your burden by letting some one else help carry it. 

It takes time to adjust to your new way of life; there is no right or wrong time frame in which you should be over your breakup. Take one step at a time one day at a time and know that you can get through this even though there are times that you think you cant.  

It can be so easy to start and feel like you are finally moving forward in your life, then all of a sudden and out of the blue you feel that you are taking 2 steps backwards and the thought of moving forward is way beyond your grasp.

You might ask yourself are you self-sabotaging your progress, your happiness. No one wants to think that they are actually self-sabotaging their own happiness. Some of the questions you could ask yourself in order to work out if you are in fact self-sabotaging your happiness would be.

What are you continuing to still do that is holding you back from finding inner peace and happiness? What is holding you back from achieving your goals? Are you content in living in fear and misery? Are you comfortable in your thoughts? Do you fear the unknown that is why you are living in the past?

Fear and dread and anxiety can paralyse you. It can stop you from moving forward, from looking to the future with hope and confidence. Do you have some counter productive habits that are keeping you in the doom and gloom after your breakup?

So I want you to take a moment to listen to your self-talk. What are you saying to your self? Lets just focus on your breakup for the moment here. Are you telling yourself that you have the worst life, that your ex has done so much wrong to you; they have caused you all this hurt and anguish.

Or are you been mean to yourself. Are you saying things that only a bully would say? Are you telling yourself that you are worthless, that you are stupid for been in a relationship with that person in the first place? Are you constantly berating yourself? Are you telling yourself that you will never find happiness again? It is so important to be aware of your thoughts and behaviours.

I would like you to focus on solutions and take some time of self-reflection, take some time to work through what you want from your life, what activities will make you happy, what steps you need to take in order for happiness to return. I would like you to make peace with your pain after your breakup.  

Honoree is very good at helping people move through the process of divorce with their integrity and self-esteem still in tact. She talked about how to stop the war with yourself and to realise that hoping things will get better is not a strategy that will help you to move forward. It’s about putting practical and constructive steps in place and making them work for you.

Alanda describes her breakup as one of the most painful and challenging process she has ever been through. The displacement for her children was regrettable. Listen to Alanda’s story as she took a leap of faith, took ownership of her decisions and learnt to trust her own judgment. She started her blog @ cocoamommy.com which is her journey of being a single mom, the challenges of parenting, divorce and much more.

Patty’s 12-week audio program ‘You Can Heal Your Heartbreak’ supports women on their healing journey. Her book ‘My Heart Is Broken. Now What?’ offers 12 practices for healing the emotional pain of heartbreak. It can be a bumpy path of healing and we all want the answers to the question of ‘how to get through this excruciating pain?’ Patty suggest that people not be afraid of their emotions. Its best to recognize, feel, express and release and its something we shouldn’t have to struggle through alone. http://www.pattybluehayes.com

There are so many challengers to deal with after a breakup. It takes courage to start a new life when you feel vulnerable, overwhelmed and scared. This is where Amy Botwinick can help as she assists people to find the bravery within and to look for the smart ways to move forward by building a strong team to surround and support you through this difficult process. Amy has written a book 'Congratulations On Your Divorce The Road To Finding Your Happily Ever After’ and co-author of ‘Divorce Party The Musical’ http://divorcepartythemusical.com  Amy can be contacted @ http://womenmovingon.com

When you are going through a breakup the idea that you have something to look forward to can seem impossible. You can get caught up in the intense feelings of unhappiness and sadness as you deal with the stresses and decisions that breaking up with your expartner brings. However this episode explores some of the things you can look forward to and steps you can put in place so you can enjoy your life again and look forward to happiness and joy

Co-parenting is a life long process that involves maturity and sensitivity for both parents. Rosalind suggests that if you think of yourselves as a co-parenting team you will have a better chance of making the transition and adjustment for the children much better post breakup. Children thrive more when they are surrounded with harmony and love. Find out more about Rosalind Sedacca @ http://www.childcentereddivorce.com

Abi’s honest account of her mental health issues, her husband of 16 years leaving her for their Au Pair and finally finding her passion gives everybody hope that happiness and fulfillment can be found after a devastating breakup. Abi writes in her blog about divorce, separation, mental health and parenting subjects to name but a few and can be found at www.muminahurry.com

It wasn’t until Julia saw herself in the eyes of other people after an ugly interruption at her work place by her partner that the reality set in that his behavior was both inappropriate and not normal. Even though Julia found her self-pregnant she gained the strength to leave the emotionally abusive and controlling relationship

Susie and Otto Collins are two people who have been there and done that. Along with working as relationship coaches, mentors and speakers, they have written many books to help people through their breakups including ‘How To Heal Your Broken Heart’. In this episode we cover a variety of subjects from how going through a breakup is normal but it doesn’t feel or seem normal to how both Susie and Otto helped each other heal from their own painful breakups. You can find out more information about this dynamic duo www.susieandotto.com

The intensity of the negative emotion of rejection after a breakup can be all consuming. It can be difficult to put this pain aside and concentrate on healing from the hurt and begin the journey of moving forward with your life. Don’t let these feelings of rejection take away the happiness in your life instead use this time to reconnect with you and what you want from your life from now on.

Robert Kandell is a successful writer, teacher, podcast host and coach. He has helped people build successful and honest relationships through workshops, lectures and live events. Robert understands the challenges that arise when breakups happen and he shares his own breakup stories and the steps he undertook to get back on track.

One of the key strategies that Robert did following his breakup was to learn to be by himself. He started a four-month celibacy, where he did not look for another relationship, rather he looked within and found that he was always looking for validation from his partners. He needed to be right, he needed to know that he was a good man and he was attractive.  

With this information Robert started to look for ways to build up his own self-esteem. He had heard a saying that resonated with him that self-esteem is built upon estimable acts. So Robert learned to do things that made him feel good about himself, such as going to the gym and working with a personal trainer, he worked with a therapist and quite sugar.

Robert believes that most of us are taught to withhold the truth, to lie, to sooth other people’s egos. Often the truth is difficult to hear and say to another person, and if your relationship is built on lies and untruths then how can you have an honest and authentic relationship. Truth and open communication is the glue that holds a relationship together.

People hold back or hide some truths from their partner for fear and shame that they could loose their partner. This creates a false foundation because our partner doesn’t really know who we are. You walk around with disguises on rather then telling the truth. You assume their reaction and play out stories in your mind as to their reaction.

When coaching people Roberts tells his clients to tell their partner 100% authentic truth, and if that person chooses to leave them then they were not right for his client and tells them that they will find some one who is good for them. The basis for a successful relationship is telling the truth, being honest and feeling safe in telling that person everything about you. When you do this Its like a weight has been lifted of your shoulders and brings you closer to your partner rather than living in a mediocre relationship

You can find out more about Robert Kandell @ www.tufflove.live and on twitter @robertkandell and his podcast is Tuff Love.

After two failed marriages and years of crying Paula sought the therapy that would help her to move forward with her life. She set about finding spiritual healings that restored her love of life, healed her pain and accept who she really was. Writing poems for her book was a way to express her feelings and Paula shared a few of these in our interview. You can contact Paula @ pgoo@optonline,net

Patty’s 17-year marriage had devolved into emotional and substance abuse, and the shock of infidelity left her feeling vulnerable, crushed and broken. Her emotional pain became her physically pain and when she attempted to take her life she added feelings of shame and humiliation. Patty turned all of this into a successful book ‘Wine Sex and Suicide My Near Death Divorce’ and coaching business. You can get more info about Patty @ http://www.pattybluehayes.com