You did everything right. And still... something's off. Not quite broken, but not quite right either.
Because I've Healed is for high-achieving Black women who are ready to stop performing and come home to themselves. We have real conversations and give real solutions.
Asha Wilkerson is a former attorney, healing guide, and retreat curator in Lisbon, Portugal. She's been where you are. She got out., and she came back to get you!
New episodes drop regularly. Go deeper with Love Notes, a weekly email for women ready to trust themselves again.
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Ep 62: Reclaiming Your Power: How Reconnecting to Yourself is an Act of Rebellion ✨
Season 4 · Episode 62
Tuesday, August 25, 2026 • Duration 11:05
Welcome to the third week of our short series on reconnection. In our first week, we explored practical exercises to ground yourself, and last week, we talked about how reconnecting to your wants, needs, and desires is really an act of reclaiming your power.
This week, I’m talking about how reconnecting to your body and your truth is an act of rebellion, particularly for those of us who come from the African diaspora, live in Black or brown bodies, or function as worker bees in a capitalist system. Historically, systems of capitalism and colonialism were designed to separate us from our bodies, turn us into labor, and make us operate as machines.
When you pause, listen to your physical data, and choose what actually honors your spirit instead of sacrificing yourself to keep the peace, you break that cycle. Reclaiming your sovereignty doesn't require a grand, loud protest. It happens in the quiet, daily moments where you allow yourself to be fully human.
(00:00) - Reconnecting to Yourself: Why It Matters
(01:07) - How Capitalism, Racism, and Colonialism Disconnect Us From Our Bodies
(02:10) - Reconnecting With Your Body as an Act of Rebellion
(03:12) - How Rest Helps You Reclaim Autonomy and Personal Power
(04:15) - You Don’t Have to Earn Rest: Small Ways to Listen to Your Body
(05:36) - Reclaiming Your Desires, Needs, and Boundaries
(06:18) - Honoring Your Ancestors Through Rest and Self-Connection
(07:35) - Do You Need to Quit Your Job to Reclaim Your Life?
(08:11) - Small Acts of Rebellion for Black and Brown Bodies
(09:32) - Everyday Boundaries: Saying No, Resting, and Choosing Yourself
(10:05) - Being Fully Human Is an Act of Rebellion
(10:39) - How to Practice Reconnection This Week
Key Takeaways
The Historical Disconnect: Systems of capitalism and colonialism were built to disconnect Black and brown people from their bodies and turn human beings into tools for output.
Reconnection as Rebellion: Reclaiming your time, resting before you're completely exhausted, and listening to your body's needs counteracts systemic exploitation.
The Power of Small Decisions: Rebellion isn't always grand; it shows up when you say no to things you don't want, ask for job accommodations, or simply refuse to eat the office pizza if you're lactose intolerant.
Reclaiming Full Humanity: Reconnecting to yourself doesn't take anything away from anyone else; it simply returns you to your inherent sovereignty and power to be fully human.
Ep 61: Why Reconnecting to Yourself is Your Ultimate Superpower
Season 4 · Episode 61
Tuesday, August 18, 2026 • Duration 11:05
Welcome back to the second week of our conversations around reconnecting. In the wellness and healing spaces, we hear buzzwords like "reconnect," "go deep," or "tap in" tossed around all the time, without always understanding what they actually mean or how they fit into the bigger picture.
Last week, we talked about reconnecting through play, nostalgic traditions/foods, and writing a letter from your future self to your present self. This week, I’m diving into why reconnecting to yourself matters so deeply. Reconnecting to yourself gives you the superpower you have been looking for in everything else. When you connect to your intuition, your body, your wants, your needs, and your desires, you start making decisions that align with how you actually want to feel today, tomorrow, and five years from now.
(00:00) - Reconnecting and personal power
(01:05) - Intuition, needs, and intentional decisions
(02:24) - Burnout and giving away power
(03:29) - Conscious choices and responsibility
(06:25) - Survival mode and disconnection
(08:37) - Desires as a decision-making filter
(10:33) - Small choices and agency
(11:41) - Personal needs and relationships
(13:55 - Self-reflection and future desires
Key Takeaways
Beyond the Buzzwords: Words like "tap in" and "reconnect" often lose their meaning when we don't look at why they matter to our overall well-being.
Ep 60: Reconnect With Yourself: 3 Simple Ways to Come Back to What Feels Good
Season 4 · Episode 60
Tuesday, August 11, 2026 • Duration 18:54
This month, I’m thinking about reconnecting.
I’m spending August back in the United States with my family, and being home has me reflecting on all the ways we can reconnect, not just with others but also with ourselves.
It’s easy to get caught up in doing everything, meeting expectations, showing up where we’re supposed to be, and building the life we thought we wanted. Then we realize that some of it doesn’t feel good anymore.
In this episode, I’m starting with something simple: remembering.
I also discuss the link between play, the chakra system, human development, and intuition. I explain how trying out what feels good can help you rebuild trust in yourself.
It doesn't have to be big or dramatic; it just has to help you reconnect.
(00:00) - How to Reconnect With Yourself
(02:29) - Why Childhood Joy Helps You Feel More Grounded
(03:46) - How Play Supports Emotional Well-Being
(06:24) - Reconnecting With Your Intuition Through Play
(10:20) - Comfort Food, Culture, and Feeling at Home
(12:00) - Creating Rituals That Help You Reconnect
(14:09) - Write a Letter From Your Future Self
(16:55) - Three Simple Practices to Reconnect With Yourself
Ep 59: Stop Hacking Your Healing: Let Things Take the Time They Take
Season 4 · Episode 59
Tuesday, August 4, 2026 • Duration 12:20
I used to love a good life hack.
I used to work out more, track my steps, measure my sleep, optimize my schedule, and do the mindset work. I was focused on finding the right strategy to help me reach my goals faster.
But lately, I’ve realized something: trying to hack the process can actually slow it down.
I’m working out less now, and my workouts aren’t as intense. I’m making more room in my schedule. When my smartwatch broke on vacation, I didn't rush to replace it. Instead, I found peace in not constantly measuring my sleep, my steps, or my connection to my phone.
I’m also learning to listen to what my nervous system is really telling me instead of trying to hack my brain or coach myself out of my feelings.
Maybe the fastest way forward isn’t about finding another shortcut.
Maybe it’s about facing what’s actually in front of you.
In this episode, I discuss the power of doing less, why I believe we’re moving away from optimization culture, and what can happen when we stop rushing processes that need time.
(00:00) - How “hacks” used to run life
(01:27) - Old workout culture: maxing out every day
(01:56) - Why fewer workouts are helping more
(02:25) - More isn’t always better for the nervous system
- The power of less in commitments and schedules
Ep 58: What Nervous System Regulation Actually Means
Season 4 · Episode 58
Tuesday, July 28, 2026 • Duration 27:34
Everyone is talking about nervous system regulation, but what does that actually mean?
In this episode, I wanted to take the mystery out of one of the biggest wellness buzzwords and explain it in a way that's practical, not overly scientific, and not something that only therapists or coaches can understand.
Your nervous system isn't working against you. It's doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep you safe.
The challenge is that your brain doesn't always know the difference between what's dangerous and what's simply unfamiliar. That means the very things you want most: a new career, healthier relationships, starting a business, traveling, resting, even choosing yourself, can feel unsafe simply because they're new.
I share why your body responds this way, how your childhood experiences shape your nervous system's capacity, and why pushing through discomfort often isn't the answer.
Throughout the episode, I also walk through personal examples from my own life, including struggling with sleep, regulating my nervous system with an episode of Law & Order, navigating the demands of hosting co-working, and completely rethinking how I launch my business so it actually feels peaceful instead of overwhelming.
At the heart of it all is one simple practice:
Learning how to listen to your body.
Because maybe nervous system regulation isn't really about regulating anything at all.
Ep 57: You Don't Need the Whole Plan
Tuesday, July 21, 2026 • Duration 15:22
For a long time, I believed I needed to know exactly how everything would unfold before I could make a big decision.
As an attorney, professor, and lifelong planner, I was used to having a roadmap. But when I left my tenured position, my apartment, and the life I had built in California to move to Portugal, I didn't have one.
I only knew the next right step.
In this episode, I'm sharing why that decision became one of the most important lessons of my life. Recording from Porto before speaking at the Our Rich Journey FIRE Conference, I reflect on what it means to trust yourself before you have all the answers, why nervous system regulation matters more than the perfect plan, and how peace became the foundation for every decision I make.
I also share why I'm choosing to sell a property that once represented freedom, and how I realized that what once aligned with my values no longer supported the life I'm building today.
If you're standing between the life you've built and the life that's calling you, I hope this conversation reminds you that you don't need to know the entire staircase.
You only need enough courage to take the next right step.
00:00 - Embracing Life Transitions
02:35 - The Journey to Portugal and New Beginnings
05:24 - Finding Peace in Financial Independence
08:40 - Aligning Actions with Inner Peace
11:26 - Reevaluating Life Choices for Peace
14:19 - Taking the Next Right Step
Ep 56: Permission to Make a Different Decision
Season 4 · Episode 56
Tuesday, July 14, 2026 • Duration 18:24
For a long time, I believed that keeping my word meant never changing my mind.
But over the years, I realized something important.
Sometimes we make decisions with the information we have at the time. Then life changes, or we change. We gather new experiences, new wisdom, and new data, and the decision that once felt aligned may no longer fit.
In this episode, I'm sharing why I finally changed the name of this podcast from Because I've Healed to Because I'm Healing, and why that small change represents something much bigger.
We talk about people-pleasing, keeping promises, making choices out of obligation rather than alignment, and why giving yourself permission to make a different decision isn't being unreliable. It's honoring who you are now.
If you've been holding onto a career, relationship, responsibility, identity, or role simply because you've always done it, this episode is your reminder that you're allowed to choose again.
Sometimes healing isn't staying committed to an old decision.
Sometimes healing is trusting yourself enough to make a new one.
(00:00) - Embracing Change: The Need for Permission
(10:00) - The Power of Decision-Making and Self-Permission
(18:03) - Redefining Roles and Responsibilities in Life
Ep 55: Fight. Flight. Freeze. Fawn. What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
Season 3 · Episode 55
Tuesday, July 7, 2026 • Duration 31:35
Have you ever found yourself completely staring at a blank screen, unable to reply to emails or cross items off your to-do list, and immediately labeled it as laziness or procrastination? I’m pulling back the curtain on a deeply personal reveal. Recently, I found myself sliding from a state of high anxiety and overfunctioning straight into a deep freeze mode, and I didn't even notice the shift until I started explaining the nervous system to someone else.
In this episode, I talk about what it actually means when our bodies hit a wall. As Black women and high-achievers, we are conditioned to stay in prolonged states of survival because our environments rarely feel safe enough to prioritize deep peace or rest. I break down the four primary nervous system responses: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn, and how they show up disguised as productivity, perpetual busyness, avoidance, and people-pleasing. You aren't broken, and you aren't lazy. Your body is simply doing exactly what it learned to do to protect you. Let’s talk about how to meet ourselves with radical self-compassion and move through it in real time.
(00:00) - The Journey of Healing and Growth
(02:49) - Understanding the Nervous System's Response
(05:45) - Navigating Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Modes
(09:03) - Personal Experience with Overwhelm
(11:45) - Recognizing and Addressing Overwhelm
(15:12) - Seeking Support and Making Changes
(18:06) - The Importance of Self-Compassion
(21:08) - Finding the Right Support
(24:03) - Communicating Needs and Setting Boundaries
(26:55) - Creating Opportunities for Rest and Growth
Key Takeaways
Ep 54: How to Journal When You Don't Know What to Write
Season 3 · Episode 54
Tuesday, June 30, 2026 • Duration 23:23
If you are a high-achieving woman who has spent years in survival mode, journaling can feel incredibly intimidating. We’re often told to "just write your feelings down," but when you’ve been disconnected from your body just to get through the day, you look at a blank page and completely freeze. You might worry you're doing it wrong, or your brain instantly tries to edit every sentence before your pen even hits the paper.
In this episode, I want to demystify the practice of journaling and examine it through neurological and somatic lenses. Writing by hand isn't just about recording facts; it’s a physical act that slows down your racing thoughts and creates a powerful mind-body loop. I'm breaking down three simple, unconventional journaling exercises designed to bypass your inner critic, release low-grade stress, and help you start exactly where you are.
00:00 - Introduction to Journaling Challenges
02:12 - The Neuroscience of Handwriting
06:00 - Journaling Exercises: Writing From Feelings
15:39 - Unsent Letters: Emotional Release
22:17 - The Drain: Clearing Emotional Clutter
Key Takeaways
✨ Journaling is not a writing skill. It's a self-connection skill.
✨ Handwriting slows your brain down enough to process what you're experiencing rather than simply react to it.
✨ The emotion underneath the goal matters more than the goal itself.
✨ You don't need to know how something will happen before you allow yourself to feel what you want.
✨ If you're disconnected from your emotions, start with what is easiest to access. Even irritation, frustration, or complaints.
✨ Sometimes emotional clarity comes after writing, not before.
Ep 53: The Difference Between an Emotion and a Feeling
Season 3 · Episode 53
Tuesday, June 23, 2026 • Duration 19:23
Last week, I shared what to do when you're in the middle of a difficult emotional experience. This week, I want to go deeper into something that often gets misunderstood: the difference between emotions and feelings.
Most of us use those words interchangeably, but they're not actually the same thing.
In this episode, I break down how emotions are automatic physiological responses that happen in the body before we have time to think, while feelings are the stories and interpretations we create around those emotional experiences. I share examples from my own life, including my years as an attorney, and how childhood experiences still show up in my dating life today.
We'll explore why understanding this distinction can be so powerful on your healing journey, how trauma influences the way we interpret emotional data, and why learning to separate the emotion from the story can create more freedom, self-awareness, and choice in your life.
If you've ever wondered why certain situations trigger such strong reactions or why you sometimes feel stuck in patterns that don't seem logical, this episode is for you.
(00:00) - Understanding Emotions and Feelings
(09:55) - The Role of Emotions in Healing
(16:14) - Practical Applications and Resources
Takeaways
✨ Emotions and feelings are not the same thing.
Emotions are automatic physiological responses that occur in the body before conscious thought. Feelings are the interpretations and meanings we assign to those emotional experiences.
✨
Related Shows Based on Content Similarities
Discover shows related to Because I'm Healing, based on actual content similarities. Explore podcasts with similar topics, themes, and formats, backed by real data.
The True Superpower: Connecting to your intuition, body, wants, needs, and desires is the ultimate superpower you’ve been searching for outside yourself.
Asking the Right Questions: Taking time to ask yourself What do I want in this moment? What feelings do I want to feel? (powerful, alive, hopeful, loved, adventurous, curious) creates immediate clarity.
Future-Aligned Decision Making: When you know how you want to feel, you can start making decisions today that align with where you want to be in one, two, or five years.
Resources Mentioned
Podcast Platforms: Leave a comment/review on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube.
Threads: Connect directly with Asha on Threads at @ashawilkersonesq.
Newsletter: Subscribe to Love Notes, Asha's weekly newsletter sharing insights, stories, and opportunities to connect, grow, and heal (link at the bottom of the show notes).
Key Takeaways
Beware of the Overfunctioning Trap: It’s easy to perform and meet external expectations while privately feeling empty inside.
Play as a Somatic Reset: Play brings you back into your body and breaks up the rigid routine of adult responsibilities.
Grounding in Roots: Tapping into old traditions or foods creates a bridge back to simpler parts of yourself.
Future Self Guidance: Writing a letter from your future self offers perspective, validation, and a gentle connection to the present.
Social Media: Connect with Asha on Threads at @ashawilkersonesq to share your reflections on these exercises.
(04:47)
(05:16) - How the smartwatch became obsessive
(06:13) - Realizing she doesn’t miss the smartwatch
(07:12) - Listening to the nervous system instead of hacking it
(08:06) - Mindset coaching and trying to hack the brain
(09:04) - Faster progress by addressing the real need
(09:33) - Why shortcuts loop you back around
(10:04) - The quickest path is facing obstacles directly
(11:00) - The biscuit analogy for sustainable change
(11:30) - You can’t rush nervous system healing
Key Takeaways
More isn’t always better. Sometimes, your nervous system needs you to do less.
Creating more space in your schedule can bring you more peace than adding another commitment.
Tracking your health isn’t always the same as improving it.
Constant mindset work can end up blocking the signals your body is sending you.
The shortcut can turn into a long detour when you need to go back to what you skipped.
Sustainable change occurs when you work through your process instead of trying to rush it.
The time it takes is the time it takes, and you’re not wasting time by giving yourself what you truly need.
If you're enjoying the podcast, consider joining my email list where I share all the ways you can connect to community and go deeper with your healing via Love Notes, my weekly newsletter.
Maybe it's simply about paying attention.
(00:00) Nervous System Regulation
(01:06) How Your Nervous System Keeps You Safe
(04:32) Fear of Travel & Feeling Safe
(05:52) How to Regulate in the Moment
(09:18) What Does Dysregulated Mean?
(10:23) Sleep, Stress & Nervous System Recovery
(14:20) There’s No “Right” Way to Regulate
(17:40) Overwhelm, Capacity & Asking for Support
(19:53) Body Listening & Emotional Awareness
(20:59) Business Anxiety & Nervous System Capacity
(23:07) Authentic Marketing Without Pressure
(26:49) Growing Your Capacity Without Burnout
In this episode, I discuss:
What your nervous system actually is
Why unfamiliar experiences feel dangerous
How childhood experiences shape your safety threshold
The difference between being dysregulated and simply having emotions
Why recovery, not perfection, is the sign of a healthy nervous system
Practical questions to ask yourself when anxiety or discomfort shows up
Why "pushing through" isn't always the healthiest response
How I redesigned my business to work with my nervous system instead of against it
Why listening to your body may be the greatest form of self-trust
Resources:
Find me on Threads: @ashawilkersonesq
If this episode resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Leave a review, share it with someone who needs it, or send me a message on Threads.
Key Takeaways
• You don't need the entire plan before you begin.
• Peace is not something you earn after reaching your goals—it can become the strategy that guides your decisions today.
• A regulated nervous system helps you recognize what is truly aligned for you.
• Your values may change, and your decisions can change with them.
• Every aligned step reveals possibilities you couldn't have seen before.
Come home to yourself.
Key Takeaways
Healing is an ongoing process, not a destination.
You are allowed to make a different decision when you have new information.
Keeping your word should never require abandoning yourself.
People-pleasing often disguises itself as commitment.
Your body can become a trustworthy guide in decision-making.
Roles that once served you may eventually become too heavy to carry.
Choosing yourself is not selfish; it prevents burnout.
Sometimes changing course isn't changing your mind; it's honoring who you've become.
Your life today deserves decisions made with today's wisdom, not yesterday's circumstances.
• Fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are survival responses, not personality flaws.
• High achievers often stay in survival mode so long that it begins to feel normal.
• Freeze mode isn't laziness. Sometimes it's your nervous system hitting a wall.
• Your body is always communicating with you.
• Healing isn't about forcing yourself through overwhelm. It's about learning what your body needs next.
• Sometimes the most healing thing you can do is ask for different support.
• You don't have to be completely healed before you can continue growing.
✨ There is no "right way" to journal.
✨ Recognizing your emotions, staying connected to them, and articulating them are all learnable skills.
✨ The goal isn't to write perfectly.
✨ The goal is to hear yourself.
Connect With Me
Threads: Come hang out and share your thoughts with me over on Threads at @AshaWilkersonESQ.
Community: Leave a comment on this podcast episode and let me know which of these three exercises landed best in your spirit this week.
Enjoyed This Episode?
Share it with a friend who keeps saying they should journal but never knows where to start.
And if you try one of these exercises this week, I'd love to hear how it goes.
Come home to yourself. 🌿
You cannot stop yourself from having emotions.
Emotions are part of being human. They serve as information and help us navigate the world by signaling what feels safe, unsafe, desirable, or threatening.
✨ The body reacts before the mind understands.
Fear, joy, sadness, anger, and excitement often arise in the body before we've had a chance to consciously process what's happening.
✨ Feelings are shaped by your history.
Your past experiences, beliefs, culture, nervous system patterns, and personal stories all influence how you interpret emotional experiences.
✨ Healing requires separating the emotion from the story.
A physiological response may be based on past experiences that are no longer relevant to your current reality. Learning to distinguish between the two creates space for new choices and healthier responses.
✨ Triggers are part of being human.
You cannot move through life without being triggered. What matters is not whether the trigger happens, but how you interpret and respond to the information it provides.
✨ Emotions can be stored in the body.
Practices such as breathwork, bodywork, energy work, and tapping can help release stored emotional responses and create greater emotional freedom.
✨ You may not control your emotions, but you can develop agency around your feelings.
With awareness and practice, you can choose how you interpret emotional experiences and how you respond to them.
Somatic educator and researcher whose work defines emotions as physiological experiences that provide information and feelings as conscious awareness of those experiences.
Connect with me over on Threads @AshaWilkersonEsq and let me know how this episode landed in your body.
