For 8 years, Aileen and Julie have been each other's sounding board from opposite sides of the globe – Aileen in London and Julie in Melbourne.
They have navigated everything – motherhood, relationships, menopause, health, grief, and everything in between – through daily voice messages. These exchanges often became lifelines, and now they share that space with their listeners.
In You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie hold honest conversations on life's challenges, growth, and connection. They lend an ear and share heartfelt insights, creating a space that allows both them, and you, to be human.
Listeners are encouraged to write in with their own experiences and topics, becoming part of the conversation that feels like a chat with close friends.
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Ever opened up to someone only to be met with silence or worse, a thumbs up emoji? In this Sanity Check, we dive into the disappointment of emotional disconnection, especially when it comes from people we’re close to. We unpack the hard truth: not everyone has the emotional capacity to meet you where you're at - and it’s not about you.
This conversation is a compassionate reminder that your vulnerability is not too much, and choosing to protect your peace doesn’t make you cold. It makes you strong.
Key Discussion Points
Aileen’s story of opening up and getting… nothing back
Why some people simply don’t have the emotional tools to meet you
How growth can make you feel isolated from those who aren’t evolving
Letting go of expectations without letting go of love
Reframing disappointment by focusing on boundaries and self-honour
Why protecting your peace is an act of self-respect, not rejection
Listener Takeaways
It's not always personal. People meet you as deeply as they’ve met themselves
You can't force connection, but you can choose your response
Letting go of the fantasy that others will change creates emotional freedom
Join the Conversation
Who in your life struggles to meet you emotionally? How do you handle that disappointment? DM us or leave a voice message—we’re always here to listen.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
The Soft Life: Unpacking What It Really Means | YKMS
Saison 1 · Épisode 60
mercredi 18 juin 2025 • Durée 32:52
Episode Overview
Is it time to stop chasing “having it all” and start redefining what really matters? In this episode, we unpack the growing cultural shift away from hustle culture and into what many are calling the soft life - a slower, more intentional way of living. We talk honestly about the tension between ambition and rest, how societal expectations have shaped women’s nervous systems, and why the soft life isn’t about giving up, it’s about tuning in.
From motherhood and single parenting to invisible labour, work stress, wellness fatigue and everything in between. This conversation is about coming back to what fills you up, not what drains you.
Key Discussion Points
What the soft life really means and why it’s not lazy or indulgent
The myth of “having it all” and the hidden costs of chasing it
How our nervous systems have been wired for busyness and how to start unwinding that
Why wellness culture can sometimes add to the burnout, not relieve it
The emotional toll of invisible labour, especially for midlife women
Redefining success and creating space for what truly matters
How small, daily choices (like a walk, a conversation, a breath) can be radical acts of reclaiming peace
Giving yourself permission to let go of expectations, overcommitments and pressure to prove
The soft life as a rebellion: choosing presence over productivity
Listener Takeaways
You don’t need to quit your job or move to the beach. The soft life starts with one choice at a time
Rest isn’t selfish, it’s essentiaL, especially when your nervous system is always “on”
You’re not lazy for needing to slow down. You’re wise for listening to what your body and soul actually need
If “having it all” is leaving you scattered and depleted, maybe it’s time to redefine what all means to you
Join the Conversation
We’d love to hear from you. What does rest look like in your life right now? Message us on Instagram or leave a voicemail.
Bone-Tired: The Exhaustion We Don’t Talk About | Sanity Check
Saison 1 · Épisode 59
jeudi 12 juin 2025 • Durée 10:22
Episode Overview:
In this candid Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the kind of exhaustion that sleep alone can’t fix. It’s not just the 3am perimenopause wake-ups, the Prosecco regrets, or the never-ending to-do list - it’s the deeper, invisible load that keeps us wired 24/7.
They unpack the toll of being constantly “on,” from anticipating everyone’s needs to never truly switching off, even when the kids are older. Whether it’s playing the role of juggler, chef, therapist, or clown, the emotional and nervous system load of motherhood and midlife deserves to be named and deeply acknowledged.
Key Discussion Points:
The difference between tiredness and “bone tired” exhaustion
Why full nights of sleep don’t always help and what else might be going on
The constant state of alert that mothers live in, even when no one’s calling their name
How single parenting, invisible labour, and midlife sensitivity amplify fatigue
Why real rest is more than just sitting down - it’s letting your body fully exhale
Listener Takeaways:
If you're feeling wiped out despite “doing nothing,” you're not alone or lazy
The mental and emotional toll of being permanently on alert is real
It’s okay to say you’re tired. You deserve rest that actually restores you
Being deeply fatigued doesn’t mean you love your kids any less
Rest isn’t indulgent, it’s a necessity for your nervous system
Join the Conversation:
Does this kind of tiredness sound familiar? Have you been carrying a load that no one sees? Send us a DM or an email at hello@youkeepmesane.com, we’d love to hear how this resonates for you. And if someone in your life needs to hear this, please pass it on.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
Follow YKMS on FB
Harder to Be Happy? It Might Be Your Wiring, Not Your Fault | YKMS
Saison 1 · Épisode 58
mercredi 11 juin 2025 • Durée 29:19
Episode Overview:
In this episode, Aileen and Julie reflect on why some people seem naturally happier, while others (like themselves!) are built with layers, reflection, and emotional intensity. Through personal stories, laughter, and a dose of science, they explore how understanding emotional wiring can shift the way we experience happiness and relate to ourselves.
They also revisit a metaphor that’s stuck with them for years: are you an onion or a potato? It began as a throwaway comment by Julie's husband, but it’s grown into a powerful framework for understanding the different ways people process life, emotion, and joy.
Key Discussion Points:
Julie’s sister’s blunt but brilliant advice: “Calm the F down”
Why some people feel content with less, while others crave depth
The “onion vs. potato” metaphor: emotional complexity vs. grounded simplicity
The science behind Happiness Set Point Theory and what we can (and can’t) change
How upbringing, personality, and life experience shape our emotional landscape
Why it’s powerful to honour your wiring rather than trying to “fix” it
The importance of deep connection, especially when others process differently
Listener Takeaways:
Get curious about your emotional blueprint, do you lean toward simplicity or reflection?
Understand that overthinkers and seekers aren’t broken… they’re just layered
Release the idea that happiness is something to earn
Recognise the strengths in both “onion” and “potato” types
Embrace the idea that calm, grounded joy is just as meaningful as complex growth
Join the Conversation:
Are you more of an onion or a potato, or somewhere in between? Aileen and Julie would love to hear what resonates.
Send them a DM, leave a voicemail, or join their WhatsApp group (link in bio).
New here? Subscribe to You Keep Me Sane for honest, layered, and heartfelt conversations every week.
Saying NO - Why Is It So Hard? | Sanity Check
Saison 1 · Épisode 57
jeudi 5 juin 2025 • Durée 10:22
Episode Overview
This listener-inspired Sanity Check explores the discomfort so many of us feel when it comes to saying no or speaking honestly. Aileen and Julie unpack the messy middle between people-pleasing and genuine empathy, and explore the deeper fears—like judgment, rejection, or letting someone down—that keep us stuck in yes-mode even when we're at capacity.
Whether you're someone who always says yes out of habit, fear, or heart, this episode offers research-backed insights and gentle reminders that you're not alone—and that boundaries are not a betrayal of kindness.
Key Discussion Points
Why we feel guilt or anxiety about saying no—even when it’s justified
The tug of war between wanting to help and protecting our own peace
People-pleasing vs. empathy—how to know what’s really driving you
Social rejection, shame, and conditioning: What the research says
The power of pausing and checking in with your actual capacity
How guilt can sometimes be a sign of growth
Speaking honestly with kindness and clarity
Listener Takeaways
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you honest
Notice when discomfort is old programming, not a present-day truth
Ask yourself: Am I afraid of being judged? Or am I truly concerned for the other person?
Treat yourself like you’d treat a friend: with understanding and compassion
Growth can feel like guilt—especially when you're not used to honouring your own needs
Join the Conversation
Have you struggled with saying no or speaking up? What helps you navigate the guilt? Drop us a message or leave us a DM—we’d love to hear your thoughts and stories. Let’s make boundary-setting feel a little less lonely.
The Invisibility Cloak: Midlife, Visibility, and Redefining Worth | YKMS
Saison 1 · Épisode 56
mercredi 4 juin 2025 • Durée 22:40
Episode Overview
In this deeply reflective episode, Aileen and Julie explore the quiet but powerful transition many women experience in midlife—the shift from being seen and celebrated for youth and appearance to becoming quietly overlooked by a culture that worships the new. But is this invisibility a loss… or a kind of liberation?
Through honest conversation and personal stories, they unpack what it means to feel unseen in a world that once watched your every move, and how this stage of life can offer something far richer: presence, peace, and purpose.
Key Discussion Points
The emotional impact of no longer being the center of cultural attention
Watching their daughters enter a world of visibility, hustle, and image pressure
The contrast between youth and midlife—performance vs. presence
Grief, freedom, and what we gain as we age
The idea of invisibility as a cloak we can choose to wear or shed
How midlife brings deeper intuition, discernment, and authentic friendships
Why being seen isn’t always about external eyes, but internal fullness
Listener Takeaways
You’re not invisible—you’re evolving.
This phase is full of wisdom, grounding, and power, even if the world doesn’t applaud it.
Visibility doesn’t have to come from others—it can be something you claim for yourself.
The freedom to stop hustling for approval is a gift of age.
Ask yourself: What does visibility mean to you now?
Join the Conversation
We want to hear from you. What’s your relationship with visibility right now? Do you ever feel invisible—and if so, what helps?
DM us or drop a voice message.
Share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.
Links:
Follow YKMS Podcast on IG @youkeepmesane.pod
Cortisol vs Oxytocin: The Daily Hormone Battle | Sanity Check
Saison 1 · Épisode 55
jeudi 29 mai 2025 • Durée 09:27
Episode Overview:
In this mini Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie dive into the chemistry of your emotions—specifically the push-pull dance between cortisol and oxytocin. Whether you’ve felt constantly on edge, snappy, or totally burnt out, this episode breaks down what’s really happening in your body and why even small, mindful shifts can help you reset.
Key Talking Points:
Why cortisol rises in everyday situations—especially the chaotic after-school hours.
The role cortisol plays in anxiety, poor sleep, burnout, and even menopausal weight gain.
How oxytocin (the “hug hormone”) helps calm your system and restore emotional balance.
Easy, everyday ways to raise oxytocin: laughter, connection, touch, and mindfulness.
How being aware of your hormonal state can increase self-compassion and reduce self-judgment.
Personal stories from Aileen and Julie on what works for them (and when they know each other's cortisol is up!).
Listener Takeaways:
Ask yourself: What’s one small thing I can do today to lower cortisol or raise oxytocin?
Notice your body: Can you feel when you shift into fight-or-flight?
Remember: It’s not just mental—it’s chemical. Go gently with yourself.
Try this: A walk with a friend, a deep breath, a long hug, a moment of laughter.
💬 Join the Conversation:
Got a go-to ritual that helps lower stress or boost connection? We’d love to hear it. Drop us a DM or voice note, or join our WhatsApp group for honest chats and daily support. Link in the show notes.
Let Them: Our Honest Take on the Viral Mantra | YKMS
Saison 1 · Épisode 54
mercredi 28 mai 2025 • Durée 20:06
Episode Overview:
In this episode of You Keep Me Sane, Aileen and Julie dive into the power behind Mel Robbins’ now-viral “Let Them Theory.” From navigating tricky relationships to handling judgement and unmet expectations, they explore why this simple mindset shift can be so freeing—and so hard to put into practice.
Drawing on their own stories of burnout, people-pleasing, and family conflict, they unpack how learning to “let them” has helped them reclaim their energy, protect their peace, and stop hustling for approval. It’s not about being passive—it’s about releasing control, embracing authenticity, and choosing yourself.
Key Discussion Points:
How the Let Them Theory became a tool in their personal growth journeys
Why detachment from outcomes isn't the same as detachment from love
The role of control in people-pleasing and over-explaining
Letting go of the need to be seen a certain way by others
The difference between surrender and checking out
Why “let them” doesn’t always apply—especially in parenting
How fear of rejection or judgement often drives over-efforting
Choosing yourself: protecting peace, energy, and authenticity
The difference between trying to keep people close vs. letting them drift
Using “let them” as a circuit-breaker for anxiety and self-doubt
Listener Takeaways:
You don’t have to fix or manage everyone’s reaction to you.
“Let them” is a powerful mindset to reclaim peace and clarity.
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re a return to your centre.
Surrendering control doesn’t mean giving up—it means trusting more.
You can’t force connection. If it’s real, it doesn’t need chasing.
📱 Join the Conversation:
Have you tried embracing the Let Them mindset? Did it feel freeing or bring up guilt and discomfort? DM us or leave a voice note—we’d love to hear your take.
And don’t forget to join our WhatsApp community, where these deep, honest conversations continue.
Introvert or Extrovert? Why It Matters More Than You Think | Sanity Check
Saison 1 · Épisode 53
jeudi 22 mai 2025 • Durée 08:00
Episode Overview
In this Sanity Check, Aileen and Julie unpack what it really means to be an introvert or an extrovert—and why understanding the difference is essential for your mental health. It’s not about being shy or social—it’s about how you refill your tank. Whether you’ve been feeling flat, snappy, or overstimulated, this episode is a reminder to tune into what your nervous system actually needs.
Key Discussion Points
The myth that being outgoing = extroverted
Why stimulation isn’t the same as nourishment
The "low hum of depletion" and how it creeps in
Why introverts need solitude like oxygen
What happens when we override our natural energy patterns
How extroverts suffer from too much solitude
Learning to name your needs—without guilt
Listener Takeaways
Recharging isn’t selfish—it’s essential
Notice how you feel after social interactions: restored or drained?
Solitude can be a lifeline, not a luxury
Set boundaries to protect your energy before burnout hits
There’s no one-size-fits-all—figure out what actually works for you
💬 Join the Conversation
Are you an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between? How do you recharge best? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a DM, leave a voicemail, or email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com.
Betrayal Isn’t Always Loud — But It Always Hurts | YKMS
Saison 1 · Épisode 52
mercredi 21 mai 2025 • Durée 29:14
Episode Overview:
Betrayal is one of those words that immediately stirs something in us. In this episode, Julie and Aileen unpack the many forms betrayal can take — not just romantic, but the kind that happens quietly in families, friendships, and formative moments. From overheard conversations to cruel friendship dynamics, they reflect on how early betrayals shaped their sense of self-worth and trust in others. They also respond to a heartfelt listener letter that touches on public ridicule from family — a pain that runs deep and lingers for years.
This is a conversation for anyone who’s ever felt blindsided by someone they trusted, and anyone trying to find their way back to themselves after the damage has been done.
Key Discussion Points:
The betrayal that isn’t loud — but lingers the longest
Aileen’s childhood story of overhearing her mum betray her trust
How betrayal shapes our sense of safety, trust, and identity
Julie’s experience of friendship betrayals and becoming guarded
The listener story that sparked this episode — being ridiculed by family in public
The long-term impact of betrayal on self-worth and vulnerability
Coping mechanisms: from hyper-independence to isolation
Practical tips for healing: boundaries, processing pain, forgiveness, and self-trust
Listener Takeaways:
Betrayal doesn’t have to be dramatic to be devastating
It often starts young — and shapes how we see ourselves and the world
Healing begins when we name the hurt, separate it from our identity, and reclaim our self-worth
You can forgive without forgetting — and without allowing repeat access
You are not alone in this — and it wasn’t your fault
📩 Join the Conversation:
Have you experienced betrayal in a way that changed you? We’d love to hear your story. DM us, email us at hello@youkeepmesane.com, or leave us a voicemail. The more we talk about this, the less alone we feel.
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BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
💛 If this episode resonated, please share it with someone who needs to hear it.
BetterHelp Paid Partnership - Get 10% off your first month
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our paid partner BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/youkeepmesane for a 10% discount on your first month of therapy.
BetterHelp makes it easy to find a therapist who suits your needs. Their online platform connects you with credentialed therapists, and if your first match isn’t the right fit, you can switch.
Remember, we’re two friends sharing our personal experiences and discussing everyday challenges. We’re not qualified coaches or therapists, and our content is for general information and supportive conversation only. If you need professional help, please seek advice from a licensed therapist.
