In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather than providing a safe haven, exploited the system for drug money, resulting in a chaotic and violent environment.
Ron candidly shares the trauma he experienced, including the loss of several brothers to violence and the pervasive fear that defined his childhood. Despite these challenges, he made a conscious decision to steer clear of gangs and drugs, ultimately finding a mentor who changed the trajectory of his life. This mentor not only provided guidance but also became a father figure, helping Ron navigate his way to a football scholarship at Fresno State University.
Throughout our conversation, Ron emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy, therapy, and the need to break the cycle of trauma. He encourages listeners, especially men, to seek help and recognize that they deserve the same opportunities as anyone else. Ron's journey of healing and his commitment to helping at-risk youth through mentorship and advocacy work is truly inspiring.
We also touched on the impact of sexual abuse in Ron's life and how it shaped his relationships. He highlights the importance of addressing these issues through therapy, which has been instrumental in his healing process.
As we wrapped up, Ron shared exciting news about a movie being made about his life, and he invited anyone interested in supporting this project to reach out. This episode is a powerful reminder of resilience, the importance of community, and the potential for transformation, even in the face of overwhelming adversity. I hope Ron's story resonates with you and inspires you to seek help, advocate for yourself, and support others in their journeys.
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
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TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Syverson and guest Ron Jenkins.
00:01:43 - Ron’s Adoption Story Ron shares his early experiences in foster care and adoption.
00:02:21 - Foster Care Challenges Discussion of difficulties faced due to his adoptive mother's drug use.
00:03:57 - Violence and Trauma Recounting violent incidents and trauma in his childhood.
00:06:36 - Avoiding Gangs Ron discusses his choices to stay away from gang involvement.
00:10:07 - Loss of a Brother Heartbreaking story of his brother's murder and its impact.
00:12:39 - Self-Advocacy Ron reflects on learning to advocate for himself.
00:14:23 - Mentorship Introduction of Mr. Burnett, a key mentor in Ron's life.
00:16:30 - Impact of Sports How sports provided structure and discipline.
00:20:08 - Helping Youth Ron talks about his work with at-risk youth.
00:22:43 - Trust and Self-Advocacy The importance of learning to trust and advocate for oneself.
00:25:04 - Value of Therapy Emphasizing therapy's role in healing from trauma.
00:28:05 - Sexual Abuse Experiences Ron shares his experiences with sexual abuse.
00:33:16 - Relationship Patterns How past abuse influenced his adult relationships.
00:36:10 - Breaking the Cycle The importance of addressing abusive patterns.
00:38:49 - Healing and Strength Reflections on healing through faith and therapy.
00:39:39 - Book Recommendation Ron recommends "Runaway Girl" for inspiration.
00:40:52 - Movie Project News about a movie being made about Ron's life.
00:42:17 - Closing Remarks Beth thanks Ron and encourages listeners to connect with resources.
Abortion and Adoption: Insights from Sociological Research with Gretchen Sisson - Ep 175
Saison 4 · Épisode 175
lundi 16 décembre 2024 • Durée 33:37
"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing mothers and critiques the American adoption system.
We discussed her journey into this research, which began while she was working with pregnant and parenting young people in Boston. Gretchen highlighted the stigmatization of young motherhood and the disconnect between societal narratives and the lived experiences of these women. Her research emphasizes the complexities of adoption, particularly how it intersects with issues of reproductive health and justice.
Gretchen shared insights from her book, revealing that the majority of women who are denied access to abortion end up parenting their children, with only a small percentage choosing adoption. This led to a discussion about the implications of the recent Dobbs decision and its potential impact on adoption rates, as well as the troubling commodification of children within the adoption system.
Throughout our conversation, we explored the reactions to her book from both the adoption community and the broader public. While many adoptees have resonated with her work, some adoptive parents have expressed defensiveness. We emphasized the importance of listening to adoptees and understanding the systemic issues surrounding adoption.
Gretchen also touched on the need for better support systems for both adoptive parents and adoptees, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of family structures and the complexities of parenting. We concluded with a call to action for listeners to engage with the voices of adoptees and to consider the broader implications of adoption in our society.
The Realities of Open Adoption with a Mother-Daughter Duo with Linda and Belle Sexton - Ep 166
Saison 4 · Épisode 166
lundi 7 octobre 2024 • Durée 30:56
"I think my mom does a great job addressing this in the book, but open adoption is not without its challenges." - Belle Sexton
Episode Summary:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Linda R. Sexton, an adoptive mom and author, and her 25-year-old daughter, Belle. This marks our first mother-daughter duo on the podcast, offering a unique perspective on open adoption.
Linda R. Sexton is an author, speaker and blogger. She is an adoptive mom of two children, both in open arrangements, and is the author of the award-winning book, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir. The story is told with frank honesty about the grief and joys of open adoption. Linda includes the voices of all four birth parents, birth grandmothers and her adopted children. She has seen first hand how an adopted child can benefit greatly by knowing and connecting with birth parents and other members of their biological family. Visit her website lindarsexton.com to learn more.
In our episode, Belle shared her adoption story, highlighting her early life in Texas and the open adoption plan created by her young birth parents. She emphasized the importance of knowing her birth family, which helped her navigate her identity as an adoptee. Linda reflected on the emotional journey of waiting for Belle's birth and the profound moment when Belle's birth mother handed her over in a hospital ceremony.
We discussed the complexities of open adoption, including Belle's feelings of adoptee's guilt and the importance of maintaining connections with birth families. Both emphasized that while open adoption can be challenging, it is a better option when compared to closed adoptions.
For those of you who enjoyed this podcast and wish to know more, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir is available on Amazon or can be purchased from your favorite bookseller. There are several families involved in the story and most of the names have been changed to protect privacy. (Since you now know Belle, she is Sofie in the book.)
What's the Big Deal About Birth Certificates? with Ann Weaver-Melendy - Ep 77
Saison 2 · Épisode 77
lundi 23 janvier 2023 • Durée 37:22
In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Ann Weaver Melendy from Oregon, a baby scoop era adoptee who was taught by her adoptive family to not speak about her adoption and to not ask questions. Well that backfired big time, because not only is she now sharing her story on this public podcast and elsewhere, but she is also an adoptee rights advocate. Ann is particularly bothered that adoptees’ vital records often don’t include the true data about their birthdate, birth parents, and more. She has fought for her own birth certificate to list the correct information - and she won! Her ingenious approach to adoptees’ rights will inspire other adoptees to fight for their own corrected documents.
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents of Addicted Teens:
A Complicated Adoption Reunion Story with Alex Baquero - Ep 76
Saison 2 · Épisode 76
lundi 16 janvier 2023 • Durée 44:06
In this week’s Unraveling Adoption podcast (formerly Safe Home Podcast), Beth talks with Alex Baquero, a 31yo from Philadelphia who was adopted at 6 months old from Colombia. His adoptive parents are white, and he started reuniting with his birth family 12 years ago. He shares his adoption story and his complicated reunion story, plus he lets us know what tools have helped him along the way.
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A Birth Mother's Perspective with Leslie Pate Mackinnon - Ep 75
Saison 2 · Épisode 75
lundi 9 janvier 2023 • Durée 48:09
We are just switching our name from Safe Home Podcast to Unraveling Adoption, and this is the first full episode under our new name.
In this week’s episode, Beth Syverson chats with Leslie Pate Mackinnon, a licensed clinical social worker and an adoption activist for the past 30 years. Leslie is a seasoned and well-respected therapist in the adoption community. She is a nationally known trainer who travels across the country training therapists, agencies and child welfare workers about the psychological issues inherent in adoption and third-party reproduction. Following four decades of successful practice in Atlanta, Leslie and her husband relocated to Asheville, NC.
Leslie comes to this work by way of being a birthmother in the 1960s, the Baby Scoop Era. She understands adoption trauma deeply, both as a lived experience and as a therapist for all members in the adoption constellation - adoptees, birthparents, and adoptive parents. On Safe Home Podcast, we’ve had 8 episodes so far with adoptees, and 1 episode with another adoptive parent, but this is our first episode from the birth mom’s perspective, which is a super-critical piece of this puzzle.
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Paul Sunderland’s speech about adoption & addiction:
Transitioning from Safe Home Podcast to Unraveling Adoption - Ep 74
Saison 2 · Épisode 74
lundi 2 janvier 2023 • Durée 21:25
In this very special episode, Beth Syverson, host of Safe Home Podcast, explains her pivot to Unraveling Adoption. This is the last episode of Safe Home, and the first episode of Unraveling Adoption. She explains what the new title means, what the future plans are, and she provides ways for everyone to help get the new podcast launched.
--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/safe-home-podcast/message
Partnership Parenting with Lainie Liberti & Her Son Miro Siegel - Ep 73
Saison 2 · Épisode 73
lundi 26 décembre 2022 • Durée 45:44
In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Lainie Liberti and her 23yo son Miro Siegel.
Lainie Liberti is a best selling author, international speaker, teen mentor, worldschooler, partnership parenting paradigm advocate and mother. In 2012 Lainie co-founded Project World School with her son and has lived in community with over a 100 teens in over 20 international locations. Lainie founded Transformative Mentoring for Teens in 2020 in response to the growing need to support teen's mental health. Lainie just released her first book, Seen, Heard & Understood, Parenting and Partnering with Teens for Greater Mental Health, the number 1 best seller on Amazon in the Parenting New Releases. Her book is right in line with what we’ve been advocating here at Safe Home - that parents do their own work and partner with their kids instead of being an authoritarian figure over them.
Beth talks with Lainie and Miro about unschooling and worldschooling because they lead a fascinating alternative life. But over the top of everything is the partnership that they’ve nurtured which allows them to both live as their fully authentic selves.
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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
The Partnership Parent Movement - Children need connection, not coercion. Together, we will change the world, one family at a time: https://partnershipparent.com/
Project World School - Inspiring Temporary Lear ning Communities for Teens & Young Adults:
Neurodiverse Family Adventures with Carolyn Balagot - Ep 72
Saison 2 · Épisode 72
lundi 19 décembre 2022 • Durée 40:34
In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Carolyn Balagot, an advocate for neurodiverse people. In her family, she, her husband, and her 3 kids are all neurodiverse in one way or another - primarily with ADHD or Autism Spectrum Disorder. She has worked at her children’s school as a 504 case carrier, advocating for students’ needs. Her kids all went to school at Orange County School of the Arts, where I used to teach and which I highly respect and admire. Especially in an arts school, all kinds of diversity are celebrated, including neurodiversity. Carolyn will talk to us about her family’s challenges and triumphs, and help us know how to better advocate for our neurodivergent loved ones or community members.
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💌 Sign up for our Safe Home Families email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
Understood website - information about 504s and IEPs: Understood.org
Destigmatizing Mental Illness with Amanda Lipp - Ep 71
Saison 2 · Épisode 71
lundi 12 décembre 2022 • Durée 39:48
In this week’s Safe Home Podcast, Beth talks with Amanda Lipp, a documentary filmmaker and social entrepreneur working at the intersection of mental health, storytelling, and technology. Amanda has produced over 80 short documentaries about mental health and social impact - covering topics such as youth psychosis, schizophrenia, art therapy, cyberbullying prevention, and housing relief from wildfires. A passionate mental health advocate, she has given over 150 speeches around the U.S. since age 18 sharing her journey navigating the mental health system. Amanda is passionate about mental health leadership, policy change, and tying films to mental health research studies. She serves on the Mental Health Advisory Panel at Google, and the Interdepartmental Serious Mental Illness Committee (ISMICC) created by Congress to advise on federal mental health policy. Amanda formerly served on the board of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the largest grassroots mental health nonprofit in the U.S.
I encourage everyone to check out Gretchen's book, available in various formats, and to connect with her on social media. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation about adoption and its many layers.
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
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TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption 00:00:44 - Introducing Gretchen Sisson 00:01:41 - Gretchen's Research Journey 00:02:53 - Understanding Sociology 00:04:10 - Qualitative vs. Quantitative Research 00:05:36 - Impactful Stories in Adoption 00:06:40 - Response to Gretchen's Book 00:07:53 - Abortion and Adoption Dynamics 00:09:03 - Post-Dobbs Adoption Trends 00:10:55 - The Supply and Demand of Adoption 00:12:49 - Financial Aspects of Adoption 00:13:28 - Redirecting Adoption Funds 00:14:55 - Birth Mothers' Financial Needs 00:16:15 - Adoptee Perspectives on Adoption 00:17:37 - Adoptive Parents' Reactions 00:19:53 - Complexities of Adoption 00:22:06 - Supporting Adoptive Families 00:23:39 - Infertility and Adoption 00:25:23 - Broader Perspectives on Parenthood 00:27:39 - Listening to Adoptees 00:29:35 - Final Thoughts and Takeaways 00:31:09 - Where to Find Gretchen's Work 00:31:49 - Upcoming Events from Unraveling Adoption 00:33:05 - Closing Remarks
This episode beautifully illustrates the complexities and joys of adoption, and I hope it resonates with those on similar journeys.
Project World School Family Summit - Biannual community gatherings for worldschooling families interested in travel, education and wellness: https://worldschoolfamilysummit.com
We Are Worldschoolers - Gain access to exclusive supportive community, articles, interviews, worldschooling mini-courses, and resource lists: https://weareworldschoolers.org/
2:09 Amanda’s lived experience with mental illness
6:05 Sports injuries and Amanda’s depression
9:50 Using drugs like an emotional credit card
11:05 Amanda’s support system and challenges of parenting a “problem child”
12:55 Amanda’s major mental breakdown as a college freshman - The Truman Show Delusion
15:08 Psychiatrist ICU and outpatient services from induced psychosis
17:50 Amanda’s daily regimen to maintain her mental health
22:40 Behind the scenes in mental health organizations
24:00 Amanda’s reprise of The Truman Show Delusion and how her parents handled it
26:37 The danger of cops responding to mental health crises, and the hope of the new 988 lifeline
28:50 The importance of compassion and curiosity in responding to psychiatric emergencies
31:50 Advice for how to be supportive to your loved one struggling with mental illness
33:46 How Amanda’s sexual identity intersected with her mental health
35:50 Seek out access points for professional help before a crisis occurs
36:43 Befriending all parts of ourselves with grace, and lean on community
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