Audio-Only Episodes. Captainâs Log: No guests. No fluff. Just me, the mic, and whateverâs clawing at my insides. Think audio journaling meets back-of-the-bar confessions. Less psychobabble, more soul bleed. Raw, real, and mostly for me.
Audio + Video Episodes. You ask, I riff. Therapy meets real talk. More structure, more insight, more of the good stuff on love, dating, and tools we need to build a healthy relationship. Awesome guests. Less navel-gazing, more crowd-serving. This oneâs for you.
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At 53, I've realized that some of life's biggest lessons aren't about getting ahead. They're about learning when to take the leap, when to let go, how to love without losing yourself, and how to stop waiting for some future version of your life before you start living.
In this episode, I share 12 life lessons that have shaped the way I think about relationships, personal growth, success, and happiness.
I talk about why being single isn't a waiting room, how our childhood experiences can influence what we mistake for intuition, and why becoming a better version of yourself sometimes means reconnecting with the person you used to be.
I also explore the importance of traveling, finding meaning in everyday experiences, allowing things to end without calling them failures, and resisting the pressure to turn every passion into something profitable.
Ultimately, these lessons are about creating a life that feels honest and meaningful, rather than spending years chasing someone else's definition of success.
IN THIS EPISODE:
⢠Why confidence comes after taking action, not before⢠Making the most of singlehood instead of waiting for a relationship⢠The difference between healthy compromise and self-abandonment⢠How childhood patterns influence attraction and intuition⢠Reconnecting with your younger self and rediscovering curiosity⢠How traveling changes your perspective⢠Recognizing endings as experiences rather than failures⢠Finding joy in ordinary Tuesdays⢠Allowing hobbies to exist without financial expectations⢠Questioning the life blueprints you've inherited⢠Why belonging shouldn't require betraying your truth⢠Choosing a life that feels alive rather than one that just looks impressive
If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe for more conversations about relationships, healing, personal growth, and building a more intentional life.
Leave a comment sharing which of these 12 lessons resonated with you most, and share this episode with someone who's ready to start living more intentionally.
NOVEMBER 9â13 | COSTA RICA
THIS ISN'T A VACATION. IT'S A RESET.
A four-day immersion designed to shake loose the old operating system you've been living from and help you build a new one â one rooted in flow, connection, joy, and nervous system regulation.
Perfect for beginners.
If you feel the pull, stay with it. Don't miss out on the next retreat.
The next retreat will be from November 9â13.
https://surfsexandpancakes.com/
31 DAYS TO GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.
Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ CONNECT WITH ME
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Am I starting to resent my partner?
mercredi 14 octobre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 20:58
Resentment rarely comes from one big moment. More often, it builds through the small things we don't talk about: the dishes, the forgotten gestures, the mental load, and the feeling that you're the only one making an effort.
I talk about how these everyday frustrations become evidence of deeper hurt, why unresolved conflict makes resentment grow, and how to repair the damage before years of disappointment turn into distance.
I talk about:
⢠How small moments of hurt build into long-term resentment
⢠The invisible mental load of maintaining a relationship
⢠Why the dishes are rarely just about the dishes
⢠How the stories we tell ourselves amplify frustration
⢠Asking for what you need before it becomes a demand
⢠Why conflict is inevitable but repair is essential
⢠Creating a safe space for difficult conversations
⢠Using empathy, self-awareness, and accountability to repair emotional wounds
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What Does Genuine Love Actually Look Like?
lundi 12 octobre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 30:01
What does genuine love actually look like? It may have less to do with how someone makes you feel and more to do with whether you can truly see them, allow them to be themselves, and continue meeting them as both of you change.
I also explore what happens when fear of losing someone keeps us from fully enjoying the relationship we have today, how relationships teach us who we are becoming, and the difference between healthy compromise and losing yourself. I also look at what can exist underneath betrayal and affairs, including the desire to reconnect with a version of yourself that feels lost.
I talk about:
⢠What genuine love looks like beyond attraction and chemistry
⢠Loving someone without abandoning yourself
⢠Why we have to keep meeting our partners as they change
⢠The fear of losing someone and how it can steal the present
⢠Why the small, ordinary moments in a relationship matter
⢠Asking what a relationship is teaching you to become
⢠The difference between compromise and self-abandonment
⢠How relationships can teach us to expand or shrink ourselves
⢠What can be underneath affairs and betrayal
⢠The different emotional realities of the betrayed partner, the person who cheated, and the affair partner
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if you got the life you wanted and still feel disconnected?
mercredi 7 octobre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 30:13
We were handed a blueprint for what a âgood lifeâ is supposed to look like: fall in love, get married, buy the house, have kids, build a career, and stay together.
But what happens when you achieve the life you were supposed to want and realize it doesnât actually feel like yours?
I talk about breaking away from inherited ideas of happiness, questioning the lives weâre maintaining simply because weâve already spent years building them, and creating something more honest and customized.
I also answer questions about open relationships, getting over self-doubt after leaving a good person, and why a relationship can be meaningful without lasting forever.
I talk about:
⢠The blueprint we inherit for what a âgood lifeâ is supposed to look like⢠Getting everything you were supposed to want and still feeling unhappy⢠The difference between a good life and a life that actually feels like yours⢠Redefining marriage, family, success, wealth, and commitment⢠Breaking patterns and questioning what youâre maintaining simply because youâve already built it⢠Whether open relationships can work and what needs to be addressed before opening one⢠Why changing relationship structures doesnât automatically fix existing problems⢠Getting over self-doubt after breaking up with a good person⢠Why someone can be a good person and still not be your person anymore⢠Letting relationships be meaningful without needing them to last forever
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the person you love isnât the person you fell in love with anymore?
lundi 5 octobre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 25:52
Being in love and loving someone arenât always the same thing.
Being in love can be about chemistry, longing, fantasy, desire, and the way someone makes you feel. But loving someone asks something harder: can you keep seeing who they actually are as they change? Can you stay curious about the person theyâre becoming instead of holding them to the version you first fell for?
In this episode, I talk about why intensity alone isnât enough to build a life with someone, why long-term relationships can go through seasons where the love feels different, and why falling out of love doesnât automatically mean the relationship is over.
I also get into what happens after betrayal when youâre still watching an exâs life and waiting for them to suffer, fail, or finally understand what they did to you. At some point, healing means taking your attention back and putting it somewhere they no longer get to participate in.
And I answer one of the questions I hear most: how do you know whether your marriage is going through a hard season or whether the relationship is actually ending?
In this episode, I talk about:
⢠The difference between being in love and loving someone⢠Why intensity and chemistry arenât enough⢠Loving someone as they grow and change⢠Why we sometimes miss who we were in a relationship more than the person⢠Three questions to ask when looking back on a past relationship⢠Why falling in and out of love can be part of a long-term relationship⢠How to stop making an exâs life evidence for your own⢠Why healing can require teaching your attention a new address⢠The difference between a hard season and a relationship that may be ending⢠Why movement, ownership, and changed behavior matter more than promises
Sometimes love isnât about getting back to who you used to be together. Sometimes itâs about deciding whether you still want to know and choose the people youâre becoming.
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Grow Together or Grow Apart with Bryan Reeves
mercredi 30 septembre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 55:24
What happens when one person is willing to grow and the other isnât, why growth should be an invitation rather than an ultimatum, and why sometimes the most important thing your partner needs from you isnât perfection â itâs your willingness to lean in.
In this episode, I sit down with Bryan Reeves to talk about what changes in the second half of life and why the rules that got us here may not be the same ones that carry us forward.
We also get into menâs loneliness, why so many men wait until life or a relationship falls apart before asking for support, and how the need to be the hero can keep us isolated.
We also talk about becoming fathers later in life, how pregnancy can expose old wounds and patterns in a relationship, and why presence may matter more than getting everything right.
In this episode, we talk about:
Why the second half of life requires a different kind of ambition
When achievement and success stop feeling like enough
Meaning, impact, and the temptation to become cynical
Why so many men feel lonely even when theyâre surrounded by people
The âheroâ mindset and hyper-independence
Why men often wait for a crisis before asking for help
What to do when you want to work on your relationship and your partner doesnât
Relationship as invitation instead of obligation
Resentment and the importance of speaking up before itâs too late
How pregnancy can expose deeper wounds in a relationship
Becoming a father later in life
Why being present matters more than being perfect
Thanks for listening. If something in this conversation makes you think of someone, send it their way.
Connect with Bryan Reeves:
Website: https://bryanreeves.com/
Book â Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her): https://bryanreeves.com/book
Love With Integrity Online Community: https://www.skool.com/lovewithintegrity
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
đ My book publishing company, Soulprint:https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sht Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:*https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
Ready for deeper work? Check out my Secure Self course:https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.:https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
đą Follow me on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/
đ Find out more:https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the life you wanted isnât what you want anymore?
lundi 28 septembre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 29:59
What if the life you spent years trying to build isnât the life you want anymore?
For most of my life, I was trying to arrive somewhere - make more money, build the audience, get another book deal, buy the house, become somebody. There was always another number to hit, another door to get through, another version of myself I thought would finally let me exhale.
But lately, something has shifted.
In this episode, I talk about giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be. Not because that version of you was wrong, but because youâre allowed to change. Youâre allowed to outgrow the goals, identities, and plans that once made perfect sense.
I get into the difference between constantly becoming someone and actually experiencing your life, why ambition can be useful without being allowed to drive, and how easy it is to postpone happiness by attaching it to the next achievement, relationship, body, house, promotion, or milestone.
Maybe the question isnât, âWhere is all of this going?â
Maybe itâs, âWhere can I go while Iâm still here?â
I also answer an Ask Angry question about knowing when it may be time to leave a marriage - and why waiting for absolute certainty can keep us stuck much longer than we realize.
In this episode, I talk about:
Giving yourself permission to disappoint the person you used to be
Letting old goals and identities evolve without rejecting your past
Why constantly trying to âarriveâ can make you miss your actual life
Ambition without letting ambition run your life
Following curiosity without needing everything to be productive
Why happiness becomes a moving target
Recognizing joy while itâs actually happening
Asking whether the plan youâre following still belongs to you
Why certainty may never come when deciding whether to leave a relationship
The questions that can reveal whether thereâs still something worth repairing
Thanks for listening. If something in this episode hits you, pass it along to someone who might need it.
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership.
Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ CONNECT WITH ME
đ My latest book, Love Hard On PurposeToss the blueprints. Build something honest.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
đ My book publishing company, Soulprinthttps://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substackhttps://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
đ§ Ready for deeper work? Check out the Secure Self coursehttps://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose.https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
đą Follow me on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/?hl=en
đ Find out morehttps://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Therapy Thursdays | Are you working on your relationship or just waiting?
jeudi 24 septembre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 19:06
How do you know whether a relationship can last and when it might be time to leave? In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we take on your questions about conflict, attraction, exes, love languages and the hurt we carry into new relationships. Thereâs one question underneath many of them: are you working through whatâs happening, or waiting for something to change?
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here:
https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/love-hard-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=44339801227298
My book publishing company, Soulprint:
https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:
https://substack.com/@theangrytherapist
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available here:
https://theangrytherapist.thrivecart.com/secure-self-bundle/
đ My book, Break Up On Purpose:
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/break-up-on-purpose-john-kim?variant=42305553956898
đ¸ Instagram:
https://instagram.com/theangrytherapist
đ Find out more:
https://www.theangrytherapist.com/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is love enough to make it work?
mercredi 23 septembre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 23:17
What matters more than love?
My answer is capacity.
I think weâve wildly overestimated loveâs ability to carry a relationship. You can love someone deeply and still lie to them, betray them, disappear when things get uncomfortable, refuse to look at yourself, or be unable to create a safe space for them. Love is a feeling. A relationship requires skills.
In this episode, I answer questions about what actually makes relationships work, how relationships change over time, and what it means to leave someone you still love. I also talk about social media, comparison, and how constantly looking at everyone elseâs life can make us question our own.
I talk about:
â Why love alone isnât enough to sustain a relationship
â Capacity, communication, accountability, and repair
â Why long-term relationships require us to grow and become someone weâve never been before
â What happens when couples resist change and begin to drift apart
â How you can love someone and still know you donât want to spend the rest of your life with them
â Why staying in a relationship out of fear can sometimes create more pain
â The difference between inspiration and inadequacy on social media
â How comparison can make you overlook the life youâre actually living
Thanks for listening. If any of these words help you or someone you know, pass them along.
If youâre tired of knowing what you need to change but still repeating the same patterns, 31 Days to Get Out of Your Own Way is for you.
For 31 days, weâll work on closing the gap between insight and action through structure, accountability, and ownership. Less analyzing yourself. More making different choices and actually changing your life.
Learn more and join here: https://nas.com/therapist-membership-qa-space/challenges/31-days-to-get-out-of-your-own-way
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. HERE
My book publishing company: Soulprint https://www.soulprintmedia.co
đ Read my book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on my SubStack â HEREâ
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose,â â â â â â â â HEREâ â â â â â â â
Follow on Instagramâ â â â â â â â HEREâ â â â â â â â
Find out more HEREâ â â â â â â
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What would you create if you stopped waiting to feel ready? With Kelsey Crane
lundi 21 septembre 2026 ⢠DurÊe 42:08
What happens when you decide an idea is worth pursuing, even when you don't know where it's going to take you?
Kelsey Crane joins me to talk about The Vanishing, her debut novel and the first book in The Exiles trilogy. We get into her journey from storytelling and gardening to writing a novel, why she chose to self-publish, what it feels like to reinvent yourself in your 40s, and the fear that comes with putting your work into the world.
We also talk about nature, creativity, climate change, the power of storytelling, and the idea that we're not defined by one story or one moment in our lives. Kelsey shares why she believes creating something for future generations can be a powerful source of motivation.
In this episode:
⢠Reinventing yourself in your 40s⢠Writing your first novel⢠The reality of self-publishing⢠Fear and pushing through uncertainty⢠Nature as a source of creativity⢠Climate fiction and telling teenagers the truth⢠Why it's okay to be a beginner⢠Creating a legacy for future generations
Follow Kelsey and check out The Vanishing.
Guest links:
⨠The Vanishing novel: https://tr.ee/nhKDU8⨠Shopify: http://bit.ly/4hmSopJ⨠Goodreads: http://bit.ly/4fRbbs9⨠Website: https://www.theexilesseries.com⨠Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/artforartssake
đď¸ Connect with me:
đ My latest book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest.HERE
My book publishing company, Soulprint:HERE
đ Read my book in progress, Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You, on Substack:HERE
If youâre ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available:HERE
đ Order my book, Break Up. On Purpose:HERE
đ¸ Follow me on Instagram:HERE
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
